Viewing Single Post From: The DREAM Ends.....

Viewing Single Post From: The DREAM Ends.....
fanofgold	May 4 2007, 09:57 PM
Novice Posts: 177 Group: Members Member #16 Joined: November 2, 2006	When I first saw Sarah Hughes on TV, she was a tall thin pretty girl. She was a good skater but just never seemed to put it all together. I liked this girl and thot she had a chance to be a great skater. I had thots like a daydream of meeting her and sharing a milkshake with her and then skating on the ice. I had daydreams and then real dreams about her--they ranged from silly to fun to warm to adult. In the dreams we were having secret meetings and we were falling in love. She was more in love than me...I did say these were silly dreams. At this time, it was before the Olympics. After she won the Gold and announced she would go to Yale, in the dream world, we were 'engaged.' We wanted to marry but I broke her heart, as I knew it would never work. Her in college and me alot older as her husband. Naw, that just wouldn't be too cool for her. So I broke our love for her sake. So in the dream and I guess in my mind I forgot about her. I felt I would be a burden and a jinx to her so I went after other older ladies. Strange Dream #1 In the middle of one dumb SARAH dream, I heard a VOICE that I will never forget! It was real. I don't know if was from outside or inside but this is what I heard near waking, as a thot of Sarah went thru my mind: YOU WILL NOT MARRY SARAH, YOU WILL MARRY HER ___ SISTER! The voice commanded authority and I felt it was the Lord. Of course it probably was the devil, for as I thought then, Sarah didn't have a sister. I don't remember the word before sister but the impression was 'younger.' I honestly didn't know Sarah had 2 younger sisters. I blew off the dream and the voice and put it to the back of my mind. BTW I never watched any of the Sarah Hughes intervies, specials, etc. So I blew it all off....That was until Spring 2003 when watching a skating event in Florida they had a little powerful skater that they said was Sarah's little sister!?? I got chills and right now as I type this I am getting goose bumps. Emily was beautiful, powerful, spunky but just a little kid. I liked this skater but eventually put her out of my mind until December of 2005. It was the Marshall's event on ABC where people voted. Ms. E. Hughes was a woman among girls. She was powerful, tall, beautiful, fun, bright and well I recalled the VOICE. This has to be nonsense and just wishful thinking. I forgot about Emily for about a month till the US CHAMPS. As you know she skated well in the Short and the rest is history. This just couldn't be Sarah's sister... I had IMPRESSIONS about the U.S. TEAM. I KNEW that EMILY HUGHES would skate in Turin, even if she was off the Team. Somehow I had a sense she would skate. Someone would get injured or sick or whatever. I didn't think it would be Kwan though who would withdraw. I even posted on the USFSA board that EH would skate and shock everyone. Kwan was picked but I still felt EH would at least go to Turin. When Kwan dropped I felt so strange. Now Emily would surprise the World. She would skate well under pressure, expectations, and criticism. "THE VISION/Flashback" [the great deception] On Feb 21 2006, the morning of the Short program, as I was waking, I had a vision---actually a flashback to my youth. When I was about 11 years old I fell in love with a girl named Martha. My Dad had a huge poetry book and most of the poems were long and complicated but I found some short ones I would copy and give to Martha. As this dumb little 11-yr. old me was reading the poems and saying how one day I would marry Martha, my sisters and maybe my brother said that "God?" had told them that Martha was not the name of my future wife! The poem I was reading was by Emily Dickinson. My sister(s) in the other room said, "The name of your wife will be Emily". I went into a rage. I don't know any Emily! I screamed. My sis thot maybe it was the poet but my Dad said this writer had died long ago. Then it was said (prophecied) by my sister?/maid/brother? or her friend?? I still don't know which voice it was, that "You will not marry till you are [A CERTAIN AGE]". This was now utter nonsense as for a kid the date decades away seemed ridiculous. It was so stupid and bizarre. Days later I asked once, well then what is the name of this Emily I am supposed to marry. I clearly remember now that my brother said the last name was something like "HUHES" or HUGHES. I looked in our old FUNK & WAGNALLS encyclopedia then and the only Hughes I remember I found and read about was HOWARD HUGHES. I guess that was when all this talk left my mind till last February. I put this out of my mind, and never once did I have a thot about it till the morning of Tuesday 2-21-2006. NO I didn't "remember" it out of myself. It was a 'vison' that came to me--a flashback. I was so stunned.... No it can't be. Well the events really happened back those years ago. Feb 21, I was physically and emotionally sick. On the verge of vomitting the whole day. I was not happy. I was angry that my life was interferred with. Even though Emily Hughes may be the most wonderful [female] person in the world, next to my Mom, I was nauseated, scared, and wondering if maybe I was going insane. I could barely do my work. I even went back to and visited my childhood home days later and asked the owners if I could be alone in the den--which was where all these events happened, so long ago. It was a very strange experience. Then there were many, many coincidences. I met an "Emily Kwan"!! I met another Emily on the phone that was 17 and was so sweet that i thot, what is happening to me. There are many other coincidences such as when at work, I got a call from some place in New York. I knew nothing about NY. I asked if they had ever heard of a place called Great Neck and the lady said, Oh it's just a couple of minutes away from here. It is a small strange world sometimes. Is it all wishful thinking or deception or a Divine Plan. No time has run out. The vision, the prophecy, everything is a LIE. Even GOD with all His power couldn't change this. None of this, one has to say, is part of the Master's plan. I have had feelings, predictions, etc. that came to pass. Some are clearly supernatural. But with love and romance as BRUCE COCKBURN one of my favorite musicians/poets says: You pay you money and you take your chance, ...when it comes to love and romance... Life is full of the plans of mice and men which are upset by Gods and demons and we are almost left to fate. The hope that one day we will rise to newness of life is a dream to me now. As I hope against hope, life is all tragedy and unfulfillment. It is an ugly world and if aliens could come and take me away I would gladly go. Yes I love people here--family, friends, and others but I see a world of hate, violence, unfairness, and lies, so much so, that may be why men and women dream of Heaven, Nirvana, and beyond. Why was I so deceived. Am I mentally ill or just a stupid fool--or both??? It hurts to admit that one is a fool, but that is the truth. Maybe one day the promise of the "Our Father" will come to pass and there will be a lovely planet with no tears, no pain, no death, and no loneliness... but only Love, Glory, and Beauty. May that day come quickly. I will in my heart forget Sarah and Emily but wish them only good things. I hope their lives will be happier than mine. PS--Somehow I feel free--free of the dream and all that came with it...I hope and have only BEST WISHES!! for all of you... the FANofGOLD


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