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| The Great War; This is my first Fanfic | |
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| Topic Started: Jun 11 2005, 12:23 PM (173 Views) | |
| Ephraim the spearmaster | Jun 11 2005, 12:23 PM Post #1 |
The spear king
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Once there were three trusted heros with the power of there brother sister or mother those three wqere eliwood,lyn and hector they trained with there family as if for no reason but when war came with Bern and sacae they were all sent out to put there skills to the test Hector was somewhat too over confident and let his ego get in the way which thinking he can beat any body Lyn was well prepared with all her weapons organized and she was still training until the time they were being sent out she never got overconfident Eliwood was slepping he was well good but compared to lyn and hector he was a mediocre but when he was finished sepping he started training but he only got as much as 5 minutes of training when they were sent out.When hectors brother (Lord Uther) sent them out hector challenged him to a duel just to see if he trained enough hector was knocked out in 59 seconds he was satisfied as long as he lasted a minute or near a minute it was okay because he knew how strong his brother was. Eliwood also trained with his father but this time Eliwood was training with Lyn and Lord Albert since lyn's family nearly died. Lyn almost beat Albert but lost since he had more years of training and of course she was satisfied she almost beat a prince of pharae. they went out to war in the middle of their fighting they met two other people Eirika and Ephraim lyn pretty much liked Ephraim but of course she did'nt show or tell him that because that would have gotten in the way.They faught countless Zombies and monsters they fought without food sleep or shelter so of course they were exhausted from the fighting hector went and run for shelter he left Lyn and Eliwood without eevn knowing that but Hector was quick at reality he noticed that he left them both behind he went and got them and ran for shelter yet again.They found shelter and went to the sleeping room Lyn was happy Eliwood was relieved and hector really did'nt care at that place they were confronted by Athos but not to fight but to give them sacred weapons after they got the weapons and the sleep Lyn and her friends went to confront Nergel while Ephraim and Eirika went to do the same to Lyon both there parties succedded.They all were happy and finally saw sunlight again and lived without fear of dragons or Zombies rulling the earth.Little did they know Lyon was consealing his body so it could never be found!!! Was this for evil or for good? Find out in the next Fanfic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is the end! It may have been pretty short but I want to see if you like or not by posting what you think about the story |
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| Father Time | Jun 11 2005, 05:01 PM Post #2 |
the father of time -_-
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I cannot READ this. |
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Credit to Laylea for the FORMER SIG. Credit to FTC for the avatar.  ?The Wonderful World of FESS Banner by TheEnd. Currently Roleplaying: Galahad(Verdane King), Big Faggot from Verdane(Not Galahad) [size=1]feff's best smasher[/size] | |
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| Maphr | Jun 11 2005, 05:48 PM Post #3 |
Title.
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I'm not quite sure I understand what is going on. First off, is the comma key on your keyboard broken? If it isn't, then I advise that you use it. A lot. Second, since when did Ephraim/Eirika/zombies/monsters live in Elibe? I know this is a fanfic, but you didn't quite explain how they all can hop worlds like that. And if you vaguely did, then I didn't see it. This is... a... liberal _attempt_ at writing a fanfic, but it looks like there is lots of room for improvement.
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| Citan Uzuki | Jun 14 2005, 06:21 AM Post #4 |
Vinegar
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... Try using puncuation marks. |
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| Sesshomaru | Jul 5 2005, 09:46 PM Post #5 |
FEGirl Fanboy
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Type it up in word first so you can notice you spelling mistakes. |
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11:49 PM Nov 28
