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| Radiance Theatre; Warning - Spoilers \o/ | |
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| Topic Started: Mar 15 2006, 06:50 PM (19,427 Views) | |
| Kaden | Mar 15 2006, 08:16 PM Post #16 |
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That is hot.   ... 
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| Linoud | Mar 17 2006, 09:10 PM Post #17 |
Knight of Seven
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Awesome.
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| Leon | Mar 22 2006, 11:38 AM Post #18 |
GUUUUNDAAAAAAAM
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Wrote this in school  Chapter 1 - Battle Mercenary Home Base  Greil: Ike, I’m starting you on a mission to a villa not far from here. Deputy Commander Titania will go with you.  Ike: HAHAHAHAHA TITANIA! Greil: Is something funny? Ike: HAHAHAHA NOA name translations are dirty  Nintendo: Hey. *RNG Rapes Ike* Ike: DAMMIT D:< Greil: Oscar and Boyd will go also. Titania, please watch over him while I go steal some shampoo.  Titania: No worries, Commander. Boyd, Oscar! Ike: HAHAHAHA TIT.  Oscar: Reporting for dut—OW! Where did that wall come from?  Boyd: Open your eyes. Oscar: No way. This DareDevil stuff is the only thing that makes me unique from all other past Fire Emblem Cavaliers. Ike: …Boyd, why is there a large gash on your head? Boyd: Smashin’ rocks. Ike: Very healthy. Titania: …Greil Mercenaries, move out! ---/ Village Titania: Looks like there’s only a few of them. They took over the village, though… Boyd: Eezy. All we gotta do is kill the guys that try to kill us, right? Oscar: Crimera seriously needs to improve its school-learning system… Ike: So, how should we move about on this? Titania: Well, you see that bandit over there next to the house? Ike: Yeah. Wait, he’s burning down the house! He’s pillaging it! Wait, is he…raping that young child? Oh God o_o Titania: And the lesson learned? Ike: There’s a lesson? Titania: Pillage the house before the bandit, duh. Ike: Oh. Titania: Well, here is four Iron Swords so you can rape all the EXP on this stage without losing all your weapons, Ike. Ike: ROOK. Titania: I think you can take on everyone, but if you need any help, just— Boyd: LEVEL UP +5 STATS ROOOOOOOOK Ike: LEVEL UP +8 STATS >| Boyd: RNG Bitch. Oscar: Level up! +1 to HP ‘__’ Boyd: Oscar you sux. Oscar: At least I don’t go around smashing my head against rocks. Boyd: At least I have eyes and can support with a moderately attractive female instead of a lesbian-hair-cut Pegasus Knight >:O Oscar: STFU. Titania: Lovely mature group, I have. Ike: Hm. You must be the boss. Bandit: RAWWR I DUN SPEK POPER RENGLIS H. HACI HACK HACK. Ike: +sigh+ Fear my growth rates. Bandit: HAX. *dies* Titania: … Oscar: Let’s return home…I’m sure Mist has a nice, hot dinner ready for us. Boyd: Mmm…I know she has something hot ready for me ;o Ike: Huh? Boyd: Nothing. |
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| Jake Marshall | Mar 22 2006, 02:43 PM Post #19 |
姚明
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Prolouge was better. GJ. |
| 你好！ 我的英文名字是 Bosco! 我的中文名字是李福林！ | |
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| Psiwri | Mar 22 2006, 02:49 PM Post #20 |
Too Many Words
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LVL up +10 statz bicth! |
 Please support my efforts in creating writing~ | |
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| +Bryars | Mar 25 2006, 11:08 AM Post #21 |
Blood Weapons
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What about Lowen? HE couldn't see 'cause of his hair... |
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Look up into the stars and you're gone This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time | |
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| Leon | Mar 25 2006, 04:47 PM Post #22 |
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GUUUUNDAAAAAAAM
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Chapter 2 – Rescue Rhys: Hello, Titania! Titania: Oh, Rhys! So your fever has gone down? Rhys: Yes, I’m feeling better. After all, I need to keep up my healthy dose of being the pretty, fragile, monk boy in the series! Titania: Hahahaha innocent little choir boys that priests leech on. Rhys: Yes, unfortunately. ::emo:: Titania: Hey, what’s that letter you got there? Rhys: Oh, it’s for you. A man gave it to me earlier for you. Must be someone from that villa that you saved the other day, such thankful people! Titania: Ah, yes. Hmnn…OH MY! Rhys: Eh? Titania: RHYS GOGETOSCARANDBOYDREADYFORB ATTLEBUTDONTLETTHEM GOILLBERIGHTBACKINEEDTOPACKMYTOOTHBRUSHWHAAAA~!!! Rhys: Um…oh, she forgot the letter. Hmn…Oh! ---/ Rhys: Guys! Ike! Ike! Ike: Rhys? What’s wrong? Did a Priest touch you again? Rhys: N, no! I’m a priest myself for God’s sake! Ike: O RLY. Boyd: YA RLY. Ike: NO WAI LOL Boyd: O RLY Ike: YA RLY Boyd: NO WAI Ike: O RL— Rhys: Cut it out, you two! Titania ran off! She wanted me to tell you to all get ready for battle! Ike: What!? Why? Rhys: I was to give her this letter, and— Boyd: OOOO! IS IT A LUV LETTER TO TIT?! HAHAHAHA TIT!! Rhys: Um, no. It’s from the bandits you defeated the other day, their brothers. They have kidnapped the children, Mist and Rolf. Oscar: WHAT!? Ike: LYKE LETZ GO RESCUE HEROOOOS!!! Boyd: K I’LL FOLLOW! Oscar: WAIT WAIT LET’S TALK THIS OVER :[ Rhys: ::emo:: ---/ Ike: Um…crap. Boyd: What. Ike: I’m lost. Boyd: Dude, we’re in front of your house. Ike: Crap. Boyd: WHOAMG MORON!! Ike: Hey, at least I don’t smash my head against rocks! Boyd: It’s as if you and Oscar think that it’s a bad thing! Ike: It is. Boyd: What are you, Dr. Pepper!? Ike: What. Rhys: STOP ARGUING LET’S TALK THIS OVER LIKE MATURE— Oscar: THAT WAY! Ike & Boyd: RIGHT. Rhys: |
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| Leon | Mar 25 2006, 04:48 PM Post #23 |
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GUUUUNDAAAAAAAM
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Chapter 2 - Rescue Continued ---/ Ike: Hey Oscar, if you knew where the bandit stronghold was all this time…why didn’t we just go there before and destroy it? Oscar: That requires too much effort on my part. Boyd: Or we just let them live so that they terrorize townspeople and they hire us to clean the bandits out. Oscar: Boyd! How…GENIUS! Boyd: We’re a conspiracy. I feel so naughty. Rhys: I’m gonna tell Commander Greil on you D:< Boyd: I take it back! *whimper*  Ikanau:: Hey, what are you kids doing here? Ike: We’ve come for the children! Ikanau:: Um…what children? Ike: The children that you kidnapped? Ikanau:: Oh, those. What about them? Ike: We want them back. Ikanau:: Naw, we still need your little red knight lady friend here, for killing our brothers! DAMN JEIGAN! Oscar: Actually, I would classify the Commander Deputy as a Oifaye. She’s pretty good. Boyd: O RLY? Ike: YA RLY. Boyd: NO WAI Ike: O RLY? Boyd: YA R— Oscar: Don’t make me open my eyes, you two. Ike: What if he does? Boyd: Don’t you know? He’s like Cyclops from X-Men! Ike: Oh dear. Anyway, we want the kids back! Ikanau:: Don’t worry, they’re safe and sound. But…we can just pound all of ya’s until your lady friend comes! C’mon boys, get ‘em! Ike: Whoa! They double our numbers! Oscar: Trust me Ike, if you can’t handle this, you will never beat the game. Ike: DAMMIT. Bandit: HAR HAR HERE I COME! Ike: Crap. *kills* Bandit: YAAAARGH NO WAI GOD MODE!!1 *dies* Ike: That was a lot easier than I thought it would be. Titania: It’s about to get a lot easier. Ike: Titania! I’m sorry— Titania: Talk later, kill bandits now. Ike: Right. Wait. We already killed half of them by the time you arrived. Titania: *kills other half* Ike: NOOOOOOO EXP ;______; Titania: Psyche. I left the boss for Boyd. Boyd: EXP FOOD! Ikanau:: Crap. *dies* Ike: Now that that’s over…I believe that they put Mist and Rolf in that shack over there. Boyd: Magnificent stronghold. Bandit: H-HEY! Don’t move! I’ll kill this kid here!  Rolf: A-AAH! Boyd: Rolf! Oscar: Hold on buddy! Rolf: G-Guys…I’m…scared…WHAAAAAAAAAAAH!! Boyd: God, he’s such a pussy. How am I related to him.  Mist: Rolf, stop crying, everything will be alright! Rolf: Sniff…o, okay… Titania: Ok, look, I’m dropping my weapon, see? … Ike: Deputy Commander! Titania: Our job is to get them back safe, understand? Ike: …yes, you’re right. I’m dropping my weapon. Oscar: As am I. Boyd: …crud. Bandit: Oh? You, you actually dropped your weapons? HAHAHAHA! Now all you can do it watch while I skin this boy alive!! Rolf: AAAH! Boyd: NO! Bandit: GAR! *dies* Boyd: WTF. Ike: Huh? An arrow…who…  Shinon: Right between the eyes, with just one shot? Who else can do that? Ike: FATHER!! ::fanboy:: Shinon: No, you stupid pup. It’s me.  Gatrie: Puff…huff…ugh. Running around…in armor…NOT KEWL GUYZ. Boyd: Rolf! Is he ok? Mist: It’s fine, he just passed out. Boyd: From what!? Pussy. Titania: I got both of them beforehand, which is why I left. Rhys: You could’ve told me that. Titania: But this makes it more exciting :[ Shinon: Ah, well, I got to feather someone in the end, so it was worth the run. Ike: Feather… Boyd: …someone…? Ike: Sounds like an erotic verb. Boyd: Uh-huh. Shinon: It isn’t. Ike: Still sounds like it. Shinon: +sigh+ Mist: Oh guys, you’re so brave! I don’t know how to thank you! Boyd: Then thank me with a hug! Come on! Express your emotions PHYSICALLY! Mist: stfu Boyd. Boyd: Fine. *Stares at Mists’s legs* |
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| Feez | Mar 25 2006, 04:51 PM Post #24 |
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Ebullient Future
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ZOMG PENDANT'S GOING TO EAT YOU.  
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| Jake Marshall | Mar 25 2006, 10:08 PM Post #25 |
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姚明
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Awsome chapter.
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| 你好！ 我的英文名字是 Bosco! 我的中文名字是李福林！ | |
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| mshortie | Mar 26 2006, 12:28 AM Post #26 |
Exists
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Funny stuff :lol: |
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| Leon | Mar 26 2006, 08:32 PM Post #27 |
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GUUUUNDAAAAAAAM
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Chapter 3 – Pirates Aground Crimera Port  Luffy: Yar har ho!  Usopp: Hey, Luffy. Luffy: Yar? Usopp: I believe we are in the wrong…section. We don’t appear in this game. Luffy: Yar, well, I’ll be boot-legged an’ walk thee plank an’ get eaten by thar fishies! Usopp: Eh? What’s with the pirate accent? Luffy: Ever since the 4kids situation I’ve been in need to increase my cool meter, and this role seemed like the perfect situation for me, yar! Usopp: You are aware that we are supposed to lose by the hands of the protagonists, correct? Luffy: …yar. ---/ Ike: So that must be the pirate ship with all the pirates on it. Shinon: Your IQ and Boyd’s must be fairly close. Ike:I-er-um…shut up. Titania: Yup. The request was simple, just sweep out the pirates from this place. Ike: Ok, let’s go, I still got 5 iron swords to use and are screaming for some EXP— Titania: Not so fast! Now is your first time to use the guide where you choose which units in your party to use! Ike: Cool. Titania: But the four of us left without telling anyone so it’s really useless right now. Ike: Is it really that smart of an idea to bring just four people against an entire shipload of pirates? Gatrie: Don’t worry, you now have not one, but two Oifayes! And I count as half an Oifaye because I’m that sexy. Shinon: Let’s use our thunder and lightning approach to defeat these bandits even though all of them do two damage tops to the three of us. Ike: Or you can just let me eat all the EXP on this stage since all of you will get almost nothing out of it. Gatrie: Way ahead of you. I already wasted three of them, neener neener! Ike: NOOO MUST BECOME MODE N BAN SEPHIROTH667!!1 Shinon: Um, right. I’m going to enter this bar over here, tell me when you’re done.  Odd Looking Man: Why, hello there. Shinon: Your character design is awfully spiffy to be just a regular villager NPC. Odd Looking Man: Oh no, it’s someone who has a brain! Take these elixirs and don’t tell anyone you saw me! Shinon: …Right. Now what’s going on outside? Ike: That’s another pirate down. Almost on board!  Marcia: Hey, pirates! Luffy: Yes, why hello thar. What is yer business with tha Pirate King, missy? Usopp: I’m not sure if this is lower than the 4kids licensing or not… Marcia: Where’s my brother!? He was supposed to— Luffy: Why, that pink-haired fella? He didn’t pay his debt so he walked tha plank, yar har ho! Now he’s swimming with tha fishies! Hey, Usopp, you got any more pirate slang I can use? Usopp: Fortunately, no. Marcia: No! How could you!?… Luffy: Yar, well, we be pirates, missy! But since you’re here…you can pay his share of tha debt! Marcia: Pah, as if! Now excuse me while I go fly over to the other side of the deck and kill two units to deprive the gamer of EXP. Ike: Whoa, who is this girl? She’s stealing my precious EXP! Marcia: I’m your first Pegasus knight girl, and yes, there are two others in the game that I can perform a triangle attack with. But we’re not sisters this time or even really related in any way! TRADITION = BROKEN. Ike: Spiffy. Marcia: Oh, but my stats are fairly bad TRADITION = BROKEN AGAIN. Ike: DAMMIT. Marcia: Anyway, what’s up? Ike: I’m Ike of the Greil Mercenaries, ordered to sweep out these dirty bandits and give them a bar of soap. Who are you? Marcia: Interested in you, god you’re so hawt <3 ::fangirl:: Ike: I meant your name. Marcia: I’m a knight of Begnion. Pfweeee see ya! *flies off* Ike: Hey, wait—What was the point of that? Titania: I think it was to show you the usefulness of talking to other units and how annoying NPCs are. Luffy: Yar har! Usopp, these scallywags of the land are tryin’ to pick a fight with us sea dogs! Usopp: Luffy, are you telling me that you didn’t notice them once they WIPED OUT OUR ENTIRE CREW!? Luffy: …yar. Usopp: +sigh+  Pendant: Leon, if you do that again in this fic I will be forced to use the Pico Pico Hammer.  Leon: I call hax? Pendant: +sigh+ Ike: I am Ike of the Greil Mercenaries, d— Luffy: HAND AXE! Ike: *dodge* Your hit percentage is outstanding. Luffy: Yar! Why thank ye!…wait, was that sarcasm? Ike: *kills* Luffy: Yar…har…ho…pirates of the sea, scallywags are we…fill up our gold with…oh screw it, I can’t handle this role anymore with all the cheesy lines. I'LL BE BACK! *runs* Ike: VICTOOOOLY  Scorpion: Flawless Victory. Ike: …can we end this chapter now? Please? |
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| +Bryars | Mar 26 2006, 08:39 PM Post #28 |
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Blood Weapons
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Wtf Ciel. |
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Look up into the stars and you're gone This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time | |
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| Jake Marshall | Mar 26 2006, 09:30 PM Post #29 |
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姚明
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That chapter owned. |
| 你好！ 我的英文名字是 Bosco! 我的中文名字是李福林！ | |
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| +Ema Skye | Mar 26 2006, 10:42 PM Post #30 |
Snackoos = <3. It's science!
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That made me laugh more than anything I've ever seen on the internet. Leon, you owe me a lung now. |
 MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH 
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