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| Yzarc Drowsnam vs Sex Kitten; aka Kamai | |
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| Topic Started: Jul 23 2007, 12:16 AM (209 Views) | |
| Yzarc | Jul 23 2007, 12:16 AM Post #1 |
Coxian
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I'm opening. Kamai is getting Tauroneo and I'll be using Haar. This should prove to be a pretty manly debate if I do say so myself. Okay, hun. Ready to do this shit!? As a start, I'm going to list the reasons why Haar > Tauroneo.
Now. I'm not one to stand here and tell you that Tauroneo isn't a manly son of a bitch. I'm not a bullshit debater, you know me too well for that. But let's consider the badass effect of Haar. You see him throughout the game, but never actually get to fight him, nor does he side with you. You know he's your enemy, but you also know that there's a pretty good chance he's gonna ally up with you. His personality is just too cool for him not to. The first time you see him, you are at the port, killing Daeins as usual. However, you're also facing off against some poor villagers that are just misunderstood.  In any case, Haar, Jill and a few wyverns show up, and damn do they mean business. Jill is ready to kick some ass and Haar just wants to chillax, y'know? But bitch ass Jill wants to take her and her two little weak ass wyverns into battle, head straight into your larger and more strategic army. Now, Jill is a badass, I'll grant you that. But that doesn't mean that, if Ike and crew saw her and some other wyverns heading towards them, they wouldn't be able to blast that ho outta the sky. Soren anyone? What a shame to have one of your best units in the game, Jill, die by your hand. Luckily, thanks to Haar, Jill stays alive. He tells her to stay back and she obeys, because he's that badass.The second time you see him, you see his true colors. He's not really a hardcore evildoer from Daein. On the contrary, he's actually treated like shit, along with Jill's father. And yet this badass fights on, knowing he has to. Because he's loyal. Even here, however, you don't get to fight him, even though his commander, Jill's father, insists on fighting to the death. Haar is essentially forced into leaving, into living so he can protect Jill. Again, here comes Haar, saving one of your best units you get. In any case, you don't get to fight him here, nor does he ally with you. He just leaves. An enigmatic character indeed. And a sleepy one. When you finally meet him, he leads a pack of wyverns to the back of your army to land a flank attack. He, of course, does so sloppily. He comes in from way behind your troops but so they can see him coming and prepare a successful counter attack. Was this sloppiness on accident? Of course not. He's not loyal to Daein, he's loyal to Shiraham or whatever that guy's name was. (Don't remember off the top of my head) But now that Daein essentially forced that guy to die, he's not with them anymore. Sucks for them, they just lost one of their best wyvern riders. Best is Jill, second best is Gromell. In any case, Haar brings a few wyverns up as, essentially, free and easy kills. He leads them straight into the heart of your army where he lances those hos in the back. All this in a god damn eyepatch. Haar = baller. Your move, sexy. |
  
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| Kamaitachi | Jul 25 2007, 05:21 AM Post #2 |
Classy
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Hold on hold on...I haven't prepped my diaphragm. You made a list. I love lists!
Let's not forget that Tauro is a fortress, and the mere fact that he's a fortress that moves is terrifying in itself. Do you know what most enemies see when Tauro is approaching them? This: 
In turn, Haar is weaker to a large number of weapons than Tauro is. The weapons that are effective to Tauro will probably weigh the enemies down.
Which band might you be attaching to him?
That is pretty sexy. I'll need a 15 minute recess to take care of something. I'll be in my bunk.
Out of curiosity, will Haar actually be getting these Jill and Makalov supports? I'm sure Tauro has a good chance of getting, probably A Largo, B Rolf, as if you're using Rolf, he probably already has an A support with someone else.
Evidently, his cool personality needs to be revealed in small doses. It's probably that great. However, Tauroneo's appearance is shrouded in mystery. You've just met this chap. The only reason you know he's important is because he gets a face. But why is he important? He's one of Daien's Steadfast Riders. So you look at him and go: "Well shit." Not much is ever really revealed about him. Why? Well Tauro's a sexy guy when it all comes down to it. The enigmatism of it all just adds to his charm. He's a veritable man of mystery that might just put James Bond to shame.
Jill's got a firey personality. Haar's got a cool one. They're a good match. They should probably fuck a few times.
I guess we're both on the subject of enigma. I suppose we've not only manly men, but mysterious ones as well. It's kinda like how I gotta guess what position you want me in, you know? You never tell me, I just kinda have to go with what I think you're feeling. I like to think I'm usually right. To the complete strangers reading this: Fuck off. You've never had such amazing sex, nor will you ever. You're just not awesome enough.
Evidently Tauro doesn't need little strategies like flank attacks and all that. He's standing there, clear and proud as can be, and is ready to take you down. Did you see the above picture? If you were walking up on the battlefield and saw that as your enemy, I'd try to talk to him too. He might just choke a bitch.
The eyepatch is pretty damn cool. But did you get a load of Tauro's mustache? I'm not gonna lie, when I first saw him, I thought Burt Reynolds decided to buff up and wield a lance. That got me a little excited, you know, in my pants. But regardless, man that moustache. If anyone can bring it back, it's Tauroneo. Although as a post-scriptum: I think eyepatches and axes shouldn't mix, bad-ass though that combination might be. |
   
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| Yzarc | Jul 25 2007, 01:59 PM Post #3 |
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Coxian
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On the contrary, sir. Boats can move. Boats can also shoot deadly shit. All Tauroneo can do is stand there and not take much damage. What they actually see is this.  A wall. But not even a wall that can cover much area, just a wall that they can (inconveniently, I might add) walk around. Yes, it does provide a minor inconvenience to enemies. But I'd say Haar's killing them is a bit more hardcore. Also, let's not forget that Taruoneo averages 1.5 more Defense than Haar and Haar can easily get a 20% Evasion boost from supporting Jill and Makalov. Guard also helps to boost his tank level. So Haar is about equal to Tauroneo defensively, he's far superior offensively and he can move waaay further.
Those aren't equal weaknesses. Haar is weak to Wind Magic and Bows. Wind Magic is incredibly weak, even Haar's crappy Res can handle it. Bows can lick his balls considering his ridiculously high defense. He'll be taking like 5 damage from bow users.
Well, after doing some math, I've come to the conclusion that giving him a Paladin band won't boost his speed enough to give him an extra point. Oh well. It was a minor point anyway.
I'll join you.  In any case, I guess I'll explain why axes and lances are better than lances and swords. Aside from the fact that both of Haar's weapons do more damage than both of Tauro's weapons (Axes > Lances, Lances > Swords) you cover more ground as well. What is the advantage of Tauroneo having a Sword instead of an Axe? He can hit axe users better. But what does a damage and some accuracy help against axe users? Axe users don't dodge. Haar can hit them with axes and still be doing more damage. Haar destroys axe users and lance users with his axes and destroys sword users with his lance. He's got everything covered.
Haar easily snags Jill and Makalov B supports. Jill gets Mist, Lethe and Haar. Well, Lethe gives shitty bonuses, bonuses that Jill doesn't need. 1 Defense, 10% Hit (useless) and 5% Evasion. Haar, however, gives Jill 1 Defense, 5% Hit and 10% Evasion. It's almost the same support, except Haar gives a little less Hit and a little more Evasion, which makes it a better support. Haar is also better than Lethe. You shouldn't use Lethe. She sucks. Balls. I'll grant, however, that Jill will be getting Mist for an A Support, unless she decides to go A with Titania or Boyd which would be pretty good. In that situation, Haar gets an A with Jill. As for Makalov, oh yeah, Haar gets that shit. Mak gets an A with Astrid, sure, but he also needs a B, right? Give that shit to Haar! Bastian shouldn't be played and that's Haar's only competition to get a B with Makalov. I think it goes without saying that Largo and Rolf suck a lot more than Makalov and Jill. Hell, Makalov and Jill are good. Some of the best units you get. AND they both have the same movement range as Haar. Tauroneo gets two shitty supporters (Rolf sucks, Largo comes underleveled and with piss poor durability) So, supports actually are bad for Tauro, because you have to field two shitty units in order to make Tauroneo usable, which isn't worth it. At all. Don't worry. You still have a bigger penis than me. 
Or you look at him and go: "I guess talking to him would be less difficult than walking around him." (Remember, he is nothing more than a piece of a wall.)
James Bond? Wh-What? Remember that date we had planned for tonight? It's off. OFF! ...Nah, just messin', but still! Tauroneo is not near as suave as Bond. I am a little insulted that you suggest so. Just 'cause you don't know much about him? Shit, the only reason you don't know much about him is because you don't care to. He's just some guy. Haar is enigmatic, yeah, but he also HAS a personality.
I take it you didn't get the Director's Cut edition of the game?
And I like you to think you're usually right, regardless of whether or not you are.
I think it's more like, Ike decides he wants an Occult scroll, so he doesn't kill the ho standing in front of him. Rofl, I'd like to see Tauroneo land a hit on Ike when Ike is fully supported. So maybe he is standing there, "clear and proud as can be" but he is certainly not ready/capable of taking you down. He gets lucky that Ike has a heart of gold, is all.
Dog. Eyepatch > Stache. That's all I'm gonna say to that. Okay, hun. My penis is tired now, and I'm sure your butt is aching at least a little bit. If you want, we can switch. |
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4:38 PM Nov 26
