Scoop The Moon From The Bottom of The Sea

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Scoop The Moon From The Bottom of The Sea; originally planned for NaNoWriMo 2008
Topic Started: Dec 4 2008, 01:47 AM (116 Views)
Soja	Dec 4 2008, 01:47 AM Post #1
Gentle Water, Crashing Waves Posts: 5,172 Group: Global Moderator Member #451 Joined: October 15, 2005	Yep. I'll index them all here as I come up with them. As a heads-up, most of these will be self-contained short stories focused around the same character. 1. Pain of Enlightenment 2. Splashing Palms, Pounding Wave 3. Beauty Looks In The Mirror F Y I - Kind of like an FAQ for questions that aren't asked so frequently 1. The name of the whole collection comes from the 12th form of Iron Body from the Southern Shaolin martial art style Hong Quan. It refers to a certain past event that will eventually be elaborated on. 2. Each story is named for a form in the curriculum of Hong Quan. Edited by Soja, Dec 18 2008, 04:07 AM.
	Mirar on Sep 8 2007 06:08 PM nigga please Fusion Universe - FEF Fanfic Slayers Forth - Slayers Fanfic Smartest Member '06 & '07 & '08 & 'o9, Favored Debater '07 & '08 & '09, Most Popular '08, Manliest '08 & '09, Author of Nightmares, Scourge of the Luxon, Rules Lawyer, Nick's Former Hero, Crysta's Lover


+Hollie	Dec 4 2008, 04:00 PM Post #2
Resident Brit Posts: 6,832 Group: Advisor Member #801 Joined: May 19, 2006	It's pretty good overall, except in the beginning I thought that the girl's description was a bit too . . . forceful. It stood out to much, if you see what I mean. I don't know if it was different in whatever program you wrote it, but the parts between present and past are really awkward because they're both written in the same tense. Oh, and I noticed one or two parts were you used present tense when I though it shouldn't have been, but I can't be bothered to go find them again. >.< Also: same colour hair and eyes as me. ;-; Scared.
	MSN Wirtjr, Speaker for the Dead says: "Be good, because if you're not, Arick will come down that chimney instead of Santa, and instead of toys he has choloroform, a hacksaw, and a burlap sack." MSN... again Wirtjr, Speaker for the Dead says: I'm a horrible rolemodel. H乜骏 says: I'll take extra care not to blow my neighbourhood up, I promise Wirtjr, Speaker for the Dead says: Also don't jam forks in strange orifices. Wirtjr, Speaker for the Dead says: ...Wait, that didn't come out right Known as Haar on Brand of Flame. Bitch. Formerly Margaret Thatcher, Aleksandr


Soja	Dec 4 2008, 05:39 PM Post #3
Gentle Water, Crashing Waves Posts: 5,172 Group: Global Moderator Member #451 Joined: October 15, 2005	Except... she's azn. And such shouldn't have such features. :O Thanks for the critique. I'll give it a glance over and see if I can find that tense error. >___>
	Mirar on Sep 8 2007 06:08 PM nigga please Fusion Universe - FEF Fanfic Slayers Forth - Slayers Fanfic Smartest Member '06 & '07 & '08 & 'o9, Favored Debater '07 & '08 & '09, Most Popular '08, Manliest '08 & '09, Author of Nightmares, Scourge of the Luxon, Rules Lawyer, Nick's Former Hero, Crysta's Lover


Soja	Dec 11 2008, 08:01 AM Post #4
Gentle Water, Crashing Waves Posts: 5,172 Group: Global Moderator Member #451 Joined: October 15, 2005	New story added. 8D
	Mirar on Sep 8 2007 06:08 PM nigga please Fusion Universe - FEF Fanfic Slayers Forth - Slayers Fanfic Smartest Member '06 & '07 & '08 & 'o9, Favored Debater '07 & '08 & '09, Most Popular '08, Manliest '08 & '09, Author of Nightmares, Scourge of the Luxon, Rules Lawyer, Nick's Former Hero, Crysta's Lover


Soja	Dec 18 2008, 04:07 AM Post #5
Gentle Water, Crashing Waves Posts: 5,172 Group: Global Moderator Member #451 Joined: October 15, 2005	moar
	Mirar on Sep 8 2007 06:08 PM nigga please Fusion Universe - FEF Fanfic Slayers Forth - Slayers Fanfic Smartest Member '06 & '07 & '08 & 'o9, Favored Debater '07 & '08 & '09, Most Popular '08, Manliest '08 & '09, Author of Nightmares, Scourge of the Luxon, Rules Lawyer, Nick's Former Hero, Crysta's Lover


*Crysta*	Dec 19 2008, 12:18 AM Post #6
yay for conformity! Posts: 10,592 Group: FEFF Emperor Member #443 Joined: October 8, 2005	Am I honestly the only one who clicked this just because the title sounded very weird? XD
	~ Crysta, Zombie Queen


Soja	Dec 19 2008, 12:24 AM Post #7
Gentle Water, Crashing Waves Posts: 5,172 Group: Global Moderator Member #451 Joined: October 15, 2005	I want Hollie to come back because she's the only one that gives me any feedback from here. :[
	Mirar on Sep 8 2007 06:08 PM nigga please Fusion Universe - FEF Fanfic Slayers Forth - Slayers Fanfic Smartest Member '06 & '07 & '08 & 'o9, Favored Debater '07 & '08 & '09, Most Popular '08, Manliest '08 & '09, Author of Nightmares, Scourge of the Luxon, Rules Lawyer, Nick's Former Hero, Crysta's Lover


Kamaitachi	Dec 19 2008, 02:51 AM Post #8
Classy Posts: 5,262 Group: Judge Member #613 Joined: February 13, 2006	It's written very nicely, and I think it has a beautiful flow to it, you know? I get the feeling that you begin to write each segment with the principle behind each of the forms, but I'm not researched or knowledgeable enough to know for sure.
	Quote: H乜骏 says: Pure genius. H乜骏 says: Well. 72% genius, 28% alcohol.


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