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| Sojazilla, King of Monsters | |
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| Topic Started: Jan 3 2009, 10:08 PM (457 Views) | |
| Sentenal | Jan 3 2009, 10:08 PM Post #1 |
When you can't make them see the light, make them feel the heat.
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The year was March 1984. A pickup truck full of illegal Mexican immigrants were trying to cross the border into Texas. However, fate decided that this would be no ordinary day. The US Army was performing a nuclear test that day, and it just so happened that the nuclear test was at that very spot on the border that they were trying to cross. Also, Hulk Hogan and a Tyranosaur Rex was there too. But in an instant, they were not longer there. The nuclear device detonated, and thus the truck full of Mexicans, Hulk Hogan, and a Dinosaur were no more. And something greater had been created then. Dun dun dun. SOJAZILLA, KING OF MONSTERS Tokyo was having a normal day, just like any other day. Girls were getting molested on trains, people were eating sushi, and saying "Desu" alot. The year was 2009. But the peace was not going to last for long! From the ocean, and thundering roar was heard. Tokyo Bay looked eerily calm. Where had that noise come from? But then all the sudden, he appeared. Rising from the surf came a creature. It was 100 meters tall, and weighted about 55 thousand tons. Its back was lined in spikes, all the way to to the tip of its enormous tail. Everyone stared in horror at the giant monster. Then, a random Asian dude ran out into the middle of the road. Well he wasn't random. He was PhantomZero. He was nominated to be the token asian dude who moves his mouth ridiculously for dubbed movies, to say things. He ran out, and pointed at the beast, and then started moving his mouth, and a very American sounding voice came out, not matching his lips at all. "Oh no! It is Sojazilla! We must flee the city!"  And then all hell broke loose. People just started fleeing the city. People were trampled. Things were smashed. And Sojazilla was all like "Bitch this ain't no way to treat a guest. I'm gonna rape you now." And so he went ape shit on the city. He ran up to a building, and with one swing from his mighty tail, knocked the entire building over. And then he started randomly stepping on cars and shit, and punching buildings. Many things were destroyed. Many people were crushed. And then finally, the Japanese military came to try to stop him. Since the Japanese are probably more weeboos than Americans, they had like gundams and shit. They started shooting missiles and lasers, and there were lots of explosions. But when the dust settled, Sojazilla was still there. And he was not amused. The spikes on his back began lighting up, glowing blue. Sojazilla opened his mouth, and breathed blue nuclear fire of Atomic Ray all over the place, in a sweeping arc. The gundams took one hit from the Atomic Ray, and they exploded. Sojazilla apparently liked blowing things up with his Atomic Ray breath, so then started using that to blow up the city. Many more people died, and the city was leveled. Except PhantomZero got out okay, without a scratch. After the city was in ruins, Sojazilla went around various parts of the city, and urinated around it, marking his territory. Then he returned the ocean, and leaving people to wonder where he is going, and if he will be back. *** Professor Blank, one of Japan's smartest guys, was smart enough to not live in Tokyo. So since their gundams all got killed, they needed to find a smart guy and ask him wtf they are supposed to do. So they did. President Reaver of Japan paid him a visit personally. "Blank, we were all stupid for living in Tokyo. A giant monster destroyed the city. It was all big with spikes on its back, and breathed fire. wtf are we supposed to do?" "Well, it sounds to me like you have a Nuclear Mexican Lizard-Dragon on your hands. So, there is only one way I can think of to kill it. I got this new invention, that is really irresponsible and powerful. Its called the 'Oxygen Destoryer'. In theroy, it kills anything." Prof. Blank answered. "'Oxygen Destroyer'? Well, that might work where our gundams and shit failed. Lets use it!" And so, they all got onto a boat, and sailed out into the ocean. Using Sonar, and also tracking the smell of burritos, they found Sojazilla sleeping on the bottem of the ocean. Blank himself got into a stupid looking divers suit, and took his invention, and went to the bottem of the ocean. And he took an assistant with him, who was really noobie, named Shinobi. "K noob, go set up the Oxygen Destroyer. I'll supervise. When its set up, I'll turn it on." Blank told his assistant. "k ill do it all ninja like so people will accept me!" Shinobi replied, and set up the Oxygen Destroyer. "Okay, now, we shall kill this Mexican Lizard! I'M PRESSING THE RED BUTTON." He pressed the red button, and bubbles and stuff started bubbling around them. "Hey boss, how exactly does this thing work?" "Well, what it does, is it destroys all the oxygen in the area, and will pretty much disintegrate everything." "Cool. So, don't we like, aren't in the kill-area, are we? And don't we sorta need oxygen to live?" "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF" Blank said. And then Sojazilla, Prof. Blank, and Shinobi were all dead, disintegrated by the Oxygen Destroyer. Preview of Next Chapter: Sojazilla finally finds true love |
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| Rin | Jan 3 2009, 10:13 PM Post #2 |
TOTALLY A MAN
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I lol'd far too much to be deemed mature. I hate you. XD |
 Av and Sig were definitely not made by Pendant or fez. | |
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| Soja | Jan 3 2009, 10:20 PM Post #3 |
Gentle Water, Crashing Waves
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1. wut 2. WTF 3. LOLWUT 4. LOL |
Fusion Universe - FEF Fanfic Slayers Forth - Slayers Fanfic Smartest Member '06 & '07 & '08 & 'o9, Favored Debater '07 & '08 & '09, Most Popular '08, Manliest '08 & '09, Author of Nightmares, Scourge of the Luxon, Rules Lawyer, Nick's Former Hero, Crysta's Lover | |
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| PhantomZero | Jan 3 2009, 10:58 PM Post #4 |
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Swarley
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YES I'M AWESOME |
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A NEW WORLD ORDER ~Known as PhantomZero, Mr. Noogen, Yosuke Hanamura | |
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| Crysta | Jan 3 2009, 11:18 PM Post #5 |
yay for conformity!
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I think we have another nominee for best fanfiction underway. 
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~ Crysta, Zombie Queen
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| Greth | Jan 4 2009, 12:16 AM Post #6 |
fuck all y'all
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i god, yes. so much win.... wait, the president of japan is a ginger? |
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Has been known as: mrmastodon, Greth, MF Greth, L, Shu, Sailor Star Healer Voted most manly last time, and most underrated twice in a row, shit yeah! | |
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| cool story bro | Jan 4 2009, 12:27 AM Post #7 |
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WTF is this shit  cool story bro |
| A NEW WORLD ORDER | |
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| Asvel | Jan 4 2009, 12:46 AM Post #8 |
Grandiloquent Panjandrum
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Damn, I may have to change my favorite fanfiction nomination. You must continue. |
Asvel: The other forum pedo. fabulous banner by genn
Favorite Artist and Favorite Spriter Winter '09 :D | |
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| Feez | Jan 4 2009, 01:36 AM Post #9 |
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Ebullient Future
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WTF HOLY THIS SHIT IS AWESOME HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH |
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| Sentenal | Jan 4 2009, 03:07 AM Post #10 |
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When you can't make them see the light, make them feel the heat.
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Sojazilla Raids Again A year or so had passed since Sojazilla had attacked Tokyo, and then died to the Oxygen Destroyer. Japan was still butthurt, however. The violent rape they suffered would remain in their minds for a long time. One day, there were these two pilots, who went flying around Japan. Their names were Phoenix and Lucent. They said "Good bye Japan, you are too inactive, and rather than stay and become part of the community, we want to be randomly fly places". And so off they flew. However, they encountered something they did not expect. They flew off to some cliff, and there were two monsters fighting! One of them, it doesn't matter which, recognized one of the monsters; Sojazilla was back. The giant beast was fighting another, one that was on all fours, and was like a giant armadillo with spikes all over it. It was getting its ass whopped.  Crystagurius rolled up into a ball, and started bouncing towards Sojazilla, trying to ram him. This didn't excape Sojazilla's notice, and neither did the two planes. "Bitch who the fuck you think I am?" is what Sojazilla would have said if he wasn't a giant monster. As the Crystagurius got close, Sojazilla spun and hit her really hard with his tail, and sending her at the planes. Before the two nubs died, they radioed back Japan Air Field, and told them about the two monsters. Also of note, no one really cared when they died, fuck them. Upon hearing news of Sojazilla's return, President Reaver called a meeting of all the military leaders in Japan. "Sojazilla is back. I know, I know, he got killed, but apparently killing Sojazilla doesn't work. And with Prof. Blank dead, we don't know how to make another Oxygen Destroyer. So wut we do?" "Well, we apparently know why they are fighting. Sojazilla got created by a nuke, a truck load of mexicans, and above all, Hulk Hogan. Well, after this incident, Andre the Giant got pissed that his rival was dead, and made his way to a nuclear test site in Arkansas, where he suffered a similar fate." "Of course, that makes perfect sense. But wut we do?" One of the best generals, General Leon, stepped up. "Well, Sojazilla is fighting Crystagurius, right? Why don't we inject her with AIDS, and then have them mate?" "Leon, that is a GREAT idea!!! Someone go give Crystagurius AIDS!" So the Japanese Military gather up all the homosexuals and black people in Japan, and rallied them to where Sojazilla was fighting Crystagurius. The Military had to stall Sojazilla so they could infect Crystagurius. They threw everything they had at Sojazilla. Gundams fired lasers, they threw kittens, they said mean words to him; everything. And while Sojazilla was distracted, a swarm of homosexuals and black people jumped all over Crystagurius, and began the hump. The only problem was that Sojazilla was too beastly to be stalled very long, and whipped out his atomic dong, and killed all the army with it. "Damn, we are running out of time!" Leon yelled. "Make Crystagurius look nice, and fast!" Really quickly all the remaining soldiers put a giant mini-skirt on Crystagurius, some lipstick, and some glasses for good measure. Then Sojazilla looked at Crystagurius. And a look came over his giant-monster-face. Crystagurius looked down at what the army had made her wear, and then back at Sojazilla. And then she starting running like hell. But no "fap fap glasses" chick could excape Sojazilla. He caught her. And then did things to her.  "Sir, its working! Sojazilla is mating! He is going to get AIDS now!" "Oh no! General Leon, I have bad news! Somehow, all the faggots and colored folk didn't give Crystagurius AIDS; only genital herpes!" "Fuck!" Leon said. And then he started to think. What could they possibly do? Leon didn't have to think very long. After Sojazilla was done, he began scratching his genital area. Apparently the herpes was taking its told. So much so, that Sojazilla couldn't stand it. His spikes started to flash, and he fired his atomic ray straight into his nuts. I don't think I have to describe the amount of pain this stupid creature felt as it fried its own nuts. In pain, he ran off to a cliff, and fell off into an ice berg. Then the military shot some missiles at it, and buried Sojazilla in it. And the ice felt good, so Sojazilla didn't object. And again, for now, Japan was safe. Preview of Next Chapter: Japan tries to get Harlem to help vs Sojazilla |
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| Feez | Jan 4 2009, 03:11 AM Post #11 |
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Ebullient Future
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This some funny shit.
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| Soja | Jan 4 2009, 03:16 AM Post #12 |
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Gentle Water, Crashing Waves
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Oh God... XD |
Fusion Universe - FEF Fanfic Slayers Forth - Slayers Fanfic Smartest Member '06 & '07 & '08 & 'o9, Favored Debater '07 & '08 & '09, Most Popular '08, Manliest '08 & '09, Author of Nightmares, Scourge of the Luxon, Rules Lawyer, Nick's Former Hero, Crysta's Lover | |
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| Tiaro | Jan 4 2009, 09:32 AM Post #13 |
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Wtf Sent. XD |
Brawl code: 1118-0273-4847
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| +Hollie | Jan 4 2009, 10:33 AM Post #14 |
Resident Brit
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Two things: WTF and LOL. |
Known as Haar on Brand of Flame. Bitch.  Formerly Margaret Thatcher, Aleksandr | |
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| Asvel | Jan 4 2009, 10:36 AM Post #15 |
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Grandiloquent Panjandrum
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Wtf woooooowww. MOAR |
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Asvel: The other forum pedo. fabulous banner by genn
Favorite Artist and Favorite Spriter Winter '09 :D | |
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3:32 PM Nov 23
