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| Fist of the Fusion Star; Fist of the North Star Fusion Fic | |
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| Topic Started: Jan 5 2009, 01:12 AM (254 Views) | |
| K' | Jan 5 2009, 01:12 AM Post #1 |
PR
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(Fusion Fic loosely based off of Hokuto no Ken, or Fist of the North Star) Fist of the Fusion Star, the Legend of the End of Century Savior! Chapter 1: Meet PR, King of Impossibilities The year is 2009. The planet has been devastated by nuclear war, destroying the landscape and nearly all vegetation. The planet FEFF has become a giant expansive desolate desert, nearly uninhabitable. However, mankind has survived and they struggle to live in this era where Martial Arts rule and modernized weaponry has all but been destroyed. In these violent times where the strong rule the weak; who will be their savior? A brilliant yellow sun scorched overhead, illuminating a figure trudging across a desert that seemed to never end. He was covered in a tattered and ragged traveling cloak that was protecting his skin, but also amplifying the intense heat. He panted and his breath rasped in his throat; he hadn’t had water in nearly a month. Hold on, don’t people die after like two weeks or some shit? Well whatever, this guy was probably Jesus incarnate or something. His steps grew smaller and smaller, as he haltingly came to a complete stop before groaning and falling to the ground face first in a resounding ‘thud.’ Wait, wait, what the fuck? Dude; he’s in the goddamn desert, sand does not go ‘thud.’ At best it’ll go ‘psh,’ or something. Nevermind… He strained his neck to look up and groaned, the sun pouring its beams full force into his eyes. He clenched his eyelids shut and resigned himself to death, but suddenly, the ground began to tremble and quake violently, causing the man’s eyelids to fly open. At a spot straight ahead, where there was a bleached cow skull, the sand opened up and a giant penis flew out of the ground. A giant penis with arms and legs and an evil cackle; ascending into the sky only to fall towards the man in an attempt to obviously, rape him. The man rolled to the side and struggled up, growling. “Fuck… you… SENTENAL!” he roared, aiming to punch the giant dick, but stopping himself when he realized it was only a hallucination or something. Maybe an oasis. Except oases don’t involve giant penises with arms and legs. Usually. The man continued to walk, when out of nowhere, a village appeared. It looked like the remains of a pretty urban city, maybe a suburb of L.A. or something. He wasn’t really sure where the fuck he was, he just started walking one day. Y’know, kinda like Forrest Gump except he didn’t run. The man walked to the center of the town and lo and behold, there was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen! It was a well, and a well meant water! He stumbled over to the well and pulled the bucket up with the last of his strength and lifted the bucket to his mouth, about to take the most refreshing drink of water in the world. BAM, the bucket fell out of his hands and clattered to the ground, all the water spilling out and being sucked into the dry earth. What kind of fucking douchebag… “Hey good one Laharl,” some faggot snickered from behind the man as the sound of a hi-five appeared. “Thanks Shinobi I thought that was pretty good myself, I mean this guy looks like he’s about to fucking die but I thought I’d hit the bucket anyways.” The man rolled to face the two fags and beckoned for Laharl to come closer so he could whisper something in his ear. “Fuck… you…” “Throw this bitch in the jail!” Laharl cried out, knocking the man over the head with a shovel or something. Even though it felt like a newborn was tickling him or some shit because Laharl was just that weak, the man couldn’t stand anything else and passed out. “Finally awake huh?” a voice said, snickering. Something smelled rank, like stale piss and fungi mixed together. The man groaned and sat up, his traveling cloak gone. He was wearing some weird clothes, it was mostly some all blue Martial Arts get up with a red undershirt thing and some steel shoulderpad on one side only. He also had like some gauze or something wrapped around one forearm and like a wristband. Shit was intense. “Where.. am I?” the man asked, rubbing the back of his head. His eyes adjusted to the dim light and sitting in front of him was another man, about his age who was a little big; but that was a good sign in this time. It meant he had plenty of food when food was scarce. “You’re in the jail of this shitty old town,” the man replied snickering. “You got caught stealing their shit just like I did. I guess that makes us bros,” he said, smirking. “The name’s PZ by the way, who’re you?” “I’m PR, and this doesn’t make us bros in any way,” PR responded curtly, cutting off PZ’s chuckles. “Psh, fine, who’d wanna be a bro with you anyways? You look like somebody out of an old Bruce Lee movie or something with that weird getup.” The sound of keys drew both their attentions and some little loli bitch came waddling in, wearing a pink dress that was way too fucking short for her. “HOLY SHIT MY FUCKING EYES COVER YOURSELF WOMAN!” PR cried out, shielding himself. “DO NOT WANT!” The little loli bitch started to cry and PR suddenly felt bad because he made a little kid cry even if she was a little slut. “Hey, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,” he offered. “Can I have some water please? I’m really thirsty and I’d appreciate it.” The loli dried her tears and nodded, waddling off to get PR some water. “That was Lyn,” PZ explained, yawning. “She’s like the only kid in this village so she always has to do everything. Basically, she’s the town lackey.” “Damn, I might feel sorry for her if she wasn’t such a loli slut,” PR mused. Lyn ran back in with a shot glass filled with water and handed it to PR. “Do you expect that to help you stupid bitch?!” PZ raged. “That tiny amount of water could not possibly help my bro!” “I’m not your bro,” PR replied, before downing the water. Suddenly, his muscles expanded and light returned to his eyes. What the hell, was he some kind of camel human? “Why don’t you fight back against PZ?” PR asked Lyn, handing back the shot glass. PZ laughed uproariously pointing at Lyn. “Dumb bitch can’t talk! I guess she saw her parents get killed in front of her or something and now she’s mute! What a pussy haha!” Lyn’s eyes filled with tears as she stared angrily at PZ, who stared complacently back. “What are you gonna do about it, you loli bitch?” “You know PZ,” PR said, giving PZ a hi-five, “we might just be bros after all.” “We’ve got trouble!” Laharl cried in a girly scream, running into the jail cell. “It’s Ayanami! Ayanami and his gang are here!” “What?!” PZ exclaimed. “Ayanami’s back? I thought he said he was leaving FEFF that faggot!” “We’re all gonna fight!” Laharl exclaimed. “You come too Lyn! I heard Ayanami likes lolis maybe we can appease him with you!” Lyn nodded and began to run off, when she suddenly stopped and threw the keys to the jail cell towards PR. “So who’s Ayanami anyways?” PR asked. “Ayanami is the leader of the local gang around here, and he’s really really strong. He has this ability to make anyone who listens to him long enough kill themselves. He doesn’t even spare the women or children! That’s probably why Lyn gave us the keys, because she knows she’s gonna die.” PR shrugged and left PZ to try and open the lock as he settled against the wall. A snap echoed through the jail cell and PZ turned around and said sheepishly, “The key broke.” PR sighed and stood up, letting out an incredibly manly growl as white light surrounded his body and his muscle mass increased for some fucking reason. The gauze and wristband on his arms ripped into pieces as his forearms bulged, and he firmly grasped the cell bars. That was pretty much their only purpose, to rip into pieces when PR went Super Sayain. Made it look cooler. He easily bent the bars open with his unreasonable strength and stepped outside, to presumably go face Ayanami and friends. After fapping and swearing at PR’s massive strength, PZ followed suit. As they stepped outside, almost everybody was already dead except for Laharl and Lyn. Ayanami had Lyn and was holding her above his head, while screaming in a voice that made PR want to cut his ears off. “I AM NOT FAULTY I AM NOT FAULTY I AM NOT FAULTY I AM NOT FAULTY I AM NOT FAULTY I AM NOT FAULTY I AM NOT FAULTY I AM NOT FAULTY I AM NOT FAULTY I AM NOT FAULTY I AM NOT FAULTY I AM NOT FAULTY!” Ayanami cried out repeatedly, causing PZ to both rage and beg for his life simultaneously. “I JUST WANT TO BE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE AND I WANT TO BE A LOLI BUT I KNOW I WILL NEVER BE A LOLI LIKE THIS GIRL SO I WILL BREAK HER NECK!” “Uh oh, I better save this girl who I have a feeling will become a main character of this story before she gets her neck broken by some weird looking motherfucker,” PR said dryly, making overly exaggerated running motions towards Ayanami while moving slower then if he had walked normally. “Wait, save me first!” Laharl screamed, tears pouring down his face. He was restrained by some thugs who looked like they were about to violate him. “Sorry, don’t speak faggot,” PR replied curtly before continuing his fake run. Ayanami looked on with confusion before screaming “STAY AWAY!” and snapping Lyn’s neck, ending the loli slut’s life. “Oh no, Lyn is dead what should I do,” PR said sarcastically. “I am such a fool I should’ve ran faster after all she was probably supposed to be a main character and a huge part of the original story but the writer didn’t like her in the show so he killed her off or some shit like that.” Ayanami dropped Lyn’s lifeless corpse and moved to slap PR with a weird alien loli hand or something as PR roared “Do not fucking touch me freak!” PR made the same kind of growling noise as he had before as the white light reappeared and his muscles expanded even further, causing his shirt to pretty much evaporate and reveal his overly muscular torso embedded with seven scars in the shape of the North Star, the Big Dipper. “ATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA!” PR cried out, in a pretty high pitched voice that was manly at the same time because he pummeling Ayanami into a bloody pulp with a flurry of fists that was actually lifting Ayanami off the ground with the force and speed of his blows. “ATOH!” PR cried out, finish the onslaught with one final punch in the gut, launching Ayanami higher into the air. “Hokuto Hyakuretsu Ken! (The Hundred Crack Fist of the North Star!)” PR stated, signaling the completion of his attack. Ayanami fell to the ground with a resounding ‘boom’ and the village would have cried in joy; but they were all fucking dead because PR was a lazy asshole. “That’s Hokuto Shin-Ken!” PZ exclaimed, stammering and sweating profusely. Hokuto Shin-Ken! A 2000 year old ancient assassination technique handed down to one successor per generation! It focuses on challenging all of the martial artist’s strength into pressing any of the 708 pressure points on the body, causing various effects that inevitably lead up to the victim exploding like a water balloon! “Look out!” PZ yelled, as a shadow overtook PR as Ayanami’s ‘loli’ body rose up. “HOLY SHIT THAT WAS HOKUTO SHIN-KEN AND IT IS USED BY PRESSING A PRESSURE POINT AND…” “LISTEN IF I WANTED A FUCKING GUIDE ON HOW TO USE HOKUTO SHIN-KEN, I WOULDVE GONE AND LOOKED IT UP MYSELF.” PR raged, cutting Ayanami off. “OH WAIT, I DON’T NEED ONE, I’M THE FUCKING SUCCESSOR!” Ayanami screamed something unintelligible and tried to hit PR one last time, but stopped as a shockwave of pain coursed through… its arm and eventually throughout its body. “You are already dead,” PR said in a flat, imposing voice. He was somehow dressed again, which didn’t make any fucking sense because he hadn’t brought any spares and nobody bothered to make him clothes again because uh, everybody was fucking dead. “Impossible!” Ayanami screamed, stumbling off. “Okay, I’m gonna leave FEFF for real this time but I will probably be back later to completely ruin anything that is good and holy like Persona 4 probably!” But it was too late, PR had already struck a pressure point and Ayanami’s body suddenly began to bulge and expand. His head grew larger and larger, abruptly and violently exploding in a shower of blood. “This world needs a style like mine to bring it back to order,” PR said gravely to PZ. “That is why they call me the End of Century Savior, the man who will rescue this world with the invincible Hokuto Shin-Ken.” “Dude it’s not even close to the end of the century why the fuck do they call you that bro?” “Uh… End of Decade Savior is what I meant…” “Dude man, the year like just fucking started I’m not sure what you’re talking about, I think I liked you better when you were funny and not being serious.” And so PR and PZ walked off like bros and headed towards the south, where PR said he had some important business to take care of but wouldn’t tell PZ what exactly it was. And all the while, in a really big fucking city that couldn’t have possibly been built so quickly after the nuclear war; a giant penis sat on a throne, laughing as he thought of ways to try and kill PR. Edited by K', Jan 5 2009, 05:54 PM.
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| Feez | Jan 5 2009, 01:27 AM Post #2 |
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Ebullient Future
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Awesome, man. ![b]](http://209.85.48.22/9056/40/0/e15547/e15547.gif)
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| Sentenal | Jan 5 2009, 01:28 AM Post #3 |
When you can't make them see the light, make them feel the heat.
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Long chapter, but good. I liked it. |
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| Rin | Jan 5 2009, 01:41 AM Post #4 |
TOTALLY A MAN
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I ROFL'd quite a bit XDD |
 Av and Sig were definitely not made by Pendant or fez. | |
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| Shinobi | Jan 5 2009, 02:14 AM Post #5 |
絶望した！！！
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haha... ... aww... 
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| K' | Jan 6 2009, 06:05 PM Post #6 |
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PR
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Fist of the Fusion Star, the Legend of the End of Century Savior! Chapter 2: Penis Fist There were stories of a pair of supposedly pretty ballin’ looking guys driving around in a discovered ’64 Impala, probably the greatest piece of machinery unearthed after the nuclear war. Rumor had it that they cruised around from village to village, blasting Tupac with some deep bass while heading towards the south. True shit. Of course, these two ballers were PZ and PR, on their journey to the south for some unknown reason because PR was being a douchebag and not telling PZ why the fuck he had to act as PR’s personal chauffeur. It might’ve actually just have been because if he didn’t, PR would poke his armpit or something and make him blow up. “This is boring stuff bro,” PZ complained, looking at a lounging PR who had his seat reclined all the way back. “We have this ballin’ car with ballin’ music, why don’t we go pick up some bitches or some shit dawg it’d be easy with you around!” PR snored in reply, he was already asleep. PZ sighed and kept driving, in that gangsta ballin’ way with one hand on top of the wheel and the other arm resting on the door while the window was down. Niggas indeed. That’s that trushit after all. So the duo continued to cruise, but unfortunately for them ominous music started playing out of nowhere and a mysterious narrative voice that kind of sounded like Keanu Reaves started to talk. Oh no! Bro what will they ever do! They don’t know it yet but dude, the king of this area has already put a reward or something for the head of the Man with Seven Scars! Wicked! Bro how will they ever get out of this one?! “Uh, I can hear you Keanu Reaves, you stupid fuck,” PZ said irritably. That’s not good. You know too much… “Dude, what the fuck seriously man you were totally using your surfer voice two seconds ago and now you’re talking in like a fucking whisper and trailing off your words make up your damn mind man. We really couldn’t find anybody better to be our goddamn narrator?! Really?!” “Hand over all your food and water bitches!” A group of like 12 or 13 thugs leaped out from under a bunch of potato bags or some shit that they had make to look like sand. I mean, it probably would’ve been scary for PZ, but he had a man next to him who could make people’s heads explode by touching them on assorted parts of the body. Then again, he was sound asleep. “Sonuva… oh fuck me.” The thugs stepped in front of PZ and PR’s ballin’ Impala and tried to stop it with brute force, but PZ floored that shit and ran over like 2 of them before they managed to stop the car. The thugs had encircled PZ and dragged PR’s body out of the car. Somehow, he was still sound asleep, which was pretty fucking ridiculous if you ask me. Each of the thugs was either brandishing a spiked steel club or loading a crossbow. This didn’t look good for PZ, who was desperately trying to rouse PR from his slumber. “Haha this guy’s out like a light!” snickered one of the goons. He walked over to PR and started prodding him with a boot tipped with a sharpened steel point. It pierced PR’s flesh and he started to bleed, but he still didn’t fucking wake up. Jesus Christ. “What the hell’s wrong with this guy?” The thugs were all beginning to get riled up at this point, growing angrier by the minute that someone managed to stay asleep while being attacked by them. Them thugs gotta keep up dey street cred, word? They all suddenly huddled around PR, kicking him and stomping him and shit. They even curbstomped him, which was a feat in itself because they were in the middle of the desert and there were no curbs around. Don’t even ask me how they did that shit, but it was painful. When all the dust settled, PR was in the middle of the ring of thugs, bloodied up and still sleeping. “Okay you know what, this is just too fucking ridiculous,” PZ said, grumbling to himself. “I don’t even give a shit anymore.” The thugs smiled and turned on PZ, shooting out freakishly long tongues slathered in saliva, licking their weapons. It was really fucking gross, but at the same time kinda kinky which turned PZ on. PZ started to beg for mercy, stating that he had no food or water to give them, and that he would give them the banging ’64 Impala if they let him go. But of course, since they were thugs, armed, and willing to kill; why not just kill PZ and take the car anyways? Suddenly, a giant fucking shadow was cast over the thugs as a figure with glowing red eyes rose up from behind them. PZ jizzed in his pants because his savior had finally fucking woken up. “What the fuck we curbstomped you and beat the shit out of you how are you still alive?!” the goons cried in unison. “Yeah, and I touched you in your no-no place!” a lone voice cried out. It was met by awkward silence and forced coughs, as everyone fidgeted uncomfortably. It appeared as though Laharl had survived somehow. Faggot. “Hokuto Shin-Ken has a 2000 year old history,” PR growled, the familiar white light surrounding him again. Same shit happens, stuff on his arms rip, shit vanishes, whoop-dee fucking doo. “There’s no way I could be beaten by worthless pieces of shit like you!” With a vigorous, ‘ATAH!’ PR swiftly dealt with two of the remaining thugs, causing one’s ribcage to explode out of his stomach and the other to empty his vital organs through his bowels. 2/10. With a hearty, ‘ATOH!’ PR struck down another two villains, making one’s head blow up in the everyday fashion while the other just kind of split in half. Beautiful. 4/10. And finally, finishing off with his signature ‘ATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA!’ PR killed five of the remaining six thugs, leaving only Laharl alive. It’s not worth your time for me to describe how they died, you can make something up in your head and it’s probably possible with Hokuto Shin-Ken. And I mean you can make up anything. Anything. So there was Laharl, face to face with PR. He shit and pissed himself in fear, which was really fucking gross and almost made PR throw up. But he restrained himself. Then he saw Laharl’s face and couldn’t hold it back any longer. When he was finished, he cracked his neck and his knuckles and slowly walked towards Laharl, thinking of the best way to kill him. He came within inches of Laharl, then reached out and delivered a powerful slap. It was the greatest slap in the history of the world; not because it had beautiful form or anything, but because it was Laharl getting slapped. Word. Laharl whimpered and covered his face, but PR shook his head and pointed at Laharl. “You are already dead. I stuck a pressure point on your inner thigh that leaves you with only three seconds to live. Gg nub.” “How in the fuck did you do that?!” Laharl cried out in disbelief. “This is a fucking joke isn’t it? I’m getting the hell out of here Sentenal can go fuck himself!” Laharl stumbled away, crying and pissing himself. “I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die, I don’t want to –“ Laharl began to convulse violently, as every single muscle in his body contracted painfully. His bones creaked from the pressure, eventually giving away and shattering into pieces. The pale white fragments protruded from his skin in places, and he began to bleed from his crotch as his vaginal muscles tore. He began to bend backwards as the muscles around his spinal cord tightened more and more, until he was nearly folded in half. His spinal cord made a horrible creaking sound as it approached breaking point. At this time, Laharl’s face was a mixture of blood, snot, and tears. It actually made him look better. Three seconds were up, and Laharl’s spinal cord snapped from the pressure as his ribcage simultaneously exploded out of his torso, shooting with it all his nearby vital organs. It was the most beautiful thing PR and PZ had ever seen. Now, unbeknownst to these two bros, the thugs they had just defeated were Sentenal’s best men, which was really fucking pathetic. ‘Cause I bet you even an unborn fetus could’ve managed to fight these guys off. But who exactly was Sentenal? Sentenal! The king of the south, he rules with an iron fist and kills all who get in his way! He is best known for his Nanto Penis Ken (Penis Fist of the South Star), which is a style of Nanto Sei Ken, the rival school to Hokuto Shin-Ken! If Hokuto Shin-Ken kills the opponent from the inside out, Nanto Sei Ken does the opposite! With its members each possessing a unique ability, Nanto Sei Ken is regarded as the most brutal of killing techniques! “Hey thanks Keanu Reaves,” PR said. The bros headed to their Impala once again, on a mission to continue their journey. But why exactly was PR trying to reach Sentenal? And why was Sentenal so intent on killing PR? How powerful is Sentenal’s Nanto Penis Ken that PR himself must intervene? PZ was still wondering why PR was leaving him in the dark, but believed that his bro would answer all questions with time. So they began cruisin’ again towards the south, as the face of some fucking e-whore appeared in the sky for some reason just before the ending credits began to roll. Edited by K', Jan 6 2009, 06:08 PM.
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| Sentenal | Jan 6 2009, 06:31 PM Post #7 |
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When you can't make them see the light, make them feel the heat.
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Penis Fist of the South Star lol |
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| Shinobi | Jan 7 2009, 05:23 AM Post #8 |
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絶望した！！！
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damn. must really hate Laharl to kill him twice (Actually i'm looking forward to him dying in the next addition) (Kinda like Kenny dying every episode in South Park) Edited by Shinobi, Jan 7 2009, 05:24 AM.
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| Rin | Jan 9 2009, 06:13 PM Post #9 |
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TOTALLY A MAN
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Well that was violent XD |
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Av and Sig were definitely not made by Pendant or fez. | |
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| Ryotaro Dojima | Jan 9 2009, 09:43 PM Post #10 |
This Space intentionally left blank
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cool story bro... |
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| Greth | Jan 14 2009, 03:20 AM Post #11 |
fuck all y'all
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Best fic ever. I better be like, Raoh or Rei or some shit brah. Still lol'ing that PZ is apparently Bart/Bat. |
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Has been known as: mrmastodon, Greth, MF Greth, L, Shu, Sailor Star Healer Voted most manly last time, and most underrated twice in a row, shit yeah! | |
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| K' | Jan 15 2009, 12:27 AM Post #12 |
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PR
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Hey nigga Greth you will see who you are and I think you will be nigga satisfied  New chapter soon, I've been working on the same one for like 3 days lol sorry gayz |
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| Greth | Jan 16 2009, 03:48 AM Post #13 |
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fuck all y'all
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somebody better say "you a busta" |
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Has been known as: mrmastodon, Greth, MF Greth, L, Shu, Sailor Star Healer Voted most manly last time, and most underrated twice in a row, shit yeah! | |
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| K' | Jan 21 2009, 06:38 PM Post #14 |
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PR
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Fist of the Fusion Star, the Legend of the End of Century Savior! Chapter 3: Nigga Dat’s Whack Today was the day. They were only miles away from Southern Penis, the majestic city that Sentenal had built somehow even though it was physically impossible, even with all the stupid niggers he was capturing to work for him. But why were they going there? Why was PR after Sentenal? Who names their city Southern Penis? PZ still had no clue why they were headed there. So, he did what any bro would do. He stopped the car, pouted, and refused to move until PR explained everything to him. PR sighed and ran his hand through his luxurious hair and… this is kind of fucking homosexual. “Okay, if you must know,” PR started, turning to face PZ, “I’m after Sentenal to rescue a woman.” “Aw shiet, must be some fine ass bitch, huh?” PZ said, nudging PR with his elbow and winking. “Uh, actually it’s someone I’ve never met. Her name is Kayzen, and all of FEFF wants her vag for some reason, which is why they assigned me, the strongest fighter in the world, the task of taking her back from Sentenal, who kidnapped her for his devious penis schemes and plots; not to mention he has probably been doing evil penis things to her this whole time.” “…Is this why they call you the End of the Whatever Savior?” “…Most likely yeah…” “…Damn dude. That fucking sucks.” So having explained the situation to PZ, the bros got back into their Impala and continued their journey, the last few miles until they reached Southern Penis; the imperial city of Sentenal where the final showdown would occur. They stepped out of their ballin’ vehicle, only to have their jaws drop open. “Damn, this place fucking sucks,” PZ noted, taking a good look around at the ruined city of Southern Penis. Everything was burnt, and what were supposed to be tall, majestic buildings in the shape of an erect penis were as flaccid as a transvestite’s dick after seeing Laharl’s face. “Yeah goddamn, what happened here?” PR wondered aloud, walking into the city and kicking random shit over. Like, burnt, leathery bodies and stuff. Yum. “I thought this place was supposed to be the Heaven of post-apocalyptic FEFF. It looks more like Hell if you ask me.” “Hey, maybe some shit went down where everybody though Sentenal was getting way too fucking soft because he was building a huge fucking city for some bitch he met online, and that he pretty much made her word superior to everyone else’s, so they all rebelled against Sentenal and when they couldn’t beat his Nanto Penis Ken; they just burned down the city.” PR gave PZ a look and shook his head. “That is the stupidest shit I’ve ever heard in my life, why would that ever happen? I mean, they had food and shelter and bitches.” PZ shrugged and the bros continued to walk towards the center of the city, where Sentenal was waiting for them. There was a huge pile of assorted body parts lying behind two very manly figures walking away. Most of them were whole bodies with no heads, while others were split down the middle. PZ whistled, “Hot damn, it never bores me to see Hokuto Shin-Ken in action. Shit is so cash money.” PZ and PR shared a BROFIST and approached the bottom of a set of ridiculously huge stairs, leading up to a single opening with light flowing out. Here they were. At the foot of the stairs that would take them to Sentenal, the evil dictator of this land where they would end everything once and for all. After 10 hours they finally reached the top of the steps, which was probably how Sentenal beat all his challengers. By the time they reached him they were probably so fucking exhausted they couldn’t even fight back. They stepped through the opening to come face to face with Sentenal, who actually had his back turned so it would be face to back. I think. He was wearing some weirdo purple clothing and had a really flowy cape that looked like it was made out of silk and had penises all over it. It was really fucking gay. “So I see you’ve come, PR,” Sent said, in an attempt to growl. PZ and PR looked at each other, their faces in some sort of pain. They looked at Sent, looked back at each other, and finally couldn’t hold it in. Sentenal was either actually a eunuch or a 10 year old girl. “What’s… with your… fucking voice?!” PZ got out between bursts of laughter, struggling for air. “Hey fuck you guys, it’s a perfectly manly voice,” Sentenal replied angrily. “But I don’t have to justify myself to you. After all, you guys will die! Nobody has seen my Nanto Penis Ken and lived! I will end u11!11!111!!!!!” PR motioned for PZ to step back, and cracked his knuckles and his neck. That white light surrounded him again, but this time his clothes didn’t evaporate. He stuck out a single finger and beckoned for Sent to attack him. Aw shiet. Sent let out a breathy ‘Hoo…’ as he took a martial arts stance. A purple light began to outline his body. There was no mistaking it, the stance, and the outline had proved it. Sent was standing in the shape of a penis. “This is your fabled Nanto Penis Ken, eh?” PR said, smirking as he took a stance. “I assure you, it will be no match for me. Hokuto Shin-Ken is invincible after all!” Sent simply laughed with that weirdo voice as the aura around him grew brighter. “Allow me to show you… the true form of Nanto Penis Ken!” The light around his crotch region began to intensify, as a mound slowly formed. “Nanto Penis Ken Ougi (Nanto Penis Ken Secret Technique): Erectile Enhancement! With this, my power increased twofold! This is the end for you!” Sent leapt into the air and dove at PR, his hands clasped together above his head. He drew back his arms, and with a vicious battle cry began to shoot his arms forward at blinding speeds; an attack that was way too familiar with PR for it resembled his Hokuto Hyakuretsu Ken from Chapter 1. “Thousand Head Penetration!” PR scoffed and did some weird wavy shit with his hands while all the while lettings this ‘Ahh’ noise that was really whispery and growly at the same time. Shit was fucking intense. The light around PR grew brighter as he finally settled into position as Sent’s attack approached him. There was a brilliant clash of fists as Sent’s penis fists met PR’s open defending palms. It appeared as if at least one of Sent’s fists had to reach PR, right? I mean, PR could use that Hundred Crack Fist, but Sent was using an attack on the level of Thousand. Aw fuck, was PR done for?! Psh, bitch not even. PR easily stopped all of Sent’s fists and retaliated with a vicious “ATOH!” as he kicked Sent away from him. “I’ve already seen through all of your moves, Sentenal. Give up, you have already lost,” PR said solemnly, pointing a finger down at the crumpled body of Sentenal. “I-impossible! My Nanto Penis Ken has never lost! You must have cheated you fucker nobody can beat me!” Sent leapt at PR again, in an attempt to hit him. But of course, PR just grabbed him by the collar and threw him away, like a dirty diaper filled with curry and diarrhea from an Indian baby. “Aw shit, this battle’s already fucking done!” PZ said, jumping up and down and squealing with excitement. But PR knew Sent wouldn’t give up so easily, not while he could abuse his power as a leader. “Bitch, since I can’t beat you in a fight, I guess I’ll just make your journey pointless!” Sent exclaimed with a wicked smile on his face. “Just what the fuck do you mean by that you dirty whore?” PR retorted angrily. “Do you have any idea the kind of faggoty I’ve put up with to get here? Lolis, mutant shits that want to be lolis, faggots in general; I mean fuck! Fuck you Sent just come here and die already!” “In your dreams bitch!” Sent roared, plunging his hand into the chest of Kaz who had been sitting on a throne behind the battle arena the whole time but PR hadn’t noticed. Well, shit. “FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF,” PR roared, his eyes glowing red and the light expanding. “What the fuck?!” Sent cried out, backing away. “I killed your only reason to be here, why are you getting stronger?!” “…I put up with a loli bitch, Ayanami, and Laharl to come here to save some fucking bitch I have never met. And now you have the fucking nerve to kill her. I have just wasted like 3 days of my fucking life I AM GOING TO FUCKING RAPE YOU IN THE BUTT.” PR’s shirt and arm nigger things evaporated as he appeared next to Sent. Sent let out a whimper before the inevitable came; the flurry of PR’s fists, filled with an immeasurable amount of rage. “ATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA!” This fucking incredibly epic and manly noise went on for about 3 ½ minutes while PR pounded Sent into a bloody pulp. He punched Sent away without a finishing noise, and pointed a degrading finger at the tomato that used to be human. “I’ve punched a giant penis into your torso. Die with the symbol of your gay shit.” PR walked over to Kaz so that he could at least carry her body back to the people of FEFF that had hired him, so they could have sex with her dead body because they were all probably that fucking desperate for some reason PR didn’t even know why the fuck everybody wanted her so badly. “…What the fuck?!” PR felt her up to make sure, then turned around violently and glared at Sent. “What the fuck is this, it’s a fucking doll?!” Sent chuckled as blood spurted from pretty much all over his body. It was a miracle he could still laugh, and in a second, talk. “Kaz… has been dead for a while now. She killed herself because she couldn’t stand my voice. So now; our battle will never be finished PR!” PR walked over to Sent and glared at him without turning his head down. It was a kind of glare that made you feel like you were an insignificant piece of shit that was better off licking someone’s shoes clean. It made Sent shrivel. PR pointed a finger at Sent again, and PZ almost shit himself because he was sure PR would say that epic fucking line, “You are already dead,” but instead… “Nigga, you a fuckin’ busta.” Sent screamed and exploded in a shower of blood, as PR walked away to share another BROFIST with PZ as they chilled all the way back to their ballin’ Impala. The dictator of the southern lands was dead, and PR had technically completed what he was hired to do. Now they could go collect his reward; and they would chill like true bros with a few nice hoes. Aw shit son I’m a poet and I don’t even know it. They drove off into the sunset listening to some banging music as peace settled across the southern lands once more. The End? Nah mothafucka, that was like the first arc of like 5. |
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| Greth | Jan 21 2009, 06:52 PM Post #15 |
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fuck all y'all
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i give this HEARTY FIC total of FIVE BROFISTS OUT OF FIVE ............./´¯/’...’/´¯¯`·¸ ........../’/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........(‘(...´…´…. ¯~/’...`) .........\.................’...../ ..........’’...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( ............./´¯/’...’/´¯¯`·¸ ........../’/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........(‘(...´…´…. ¯~/’...`) .........\.................’...../ ..........’’...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( ............./´¯/’...’/´¯¯`·¸ ........../’/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........(‘(...´…´…. ¯~/’...`) .........\.................’...../ ..........’’...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( ............./´¯/’...’/´¯¯`·¸ ........../’/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........(‘(...´…´…. ¯~/’...`) .........\.................’...../ ..........’’...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( ............./´¯/’...’/´¯¯`·¸ ........../’/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........(‘(...´…´…. ¯~/’...`) .........\.................’...../ ..........’’...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( |
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Has been known as: mrmastodon, Greth, MF Greth, L, Shu, Sailor Star Healer Voted most manly last time, and most underrated twice in a row, shit yeah! | |
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3:07 PM Nov 8
