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| FEFF League | |
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| Topic Started: Feb 7 2009, 09:19 PM (182 Views) | |
| Wirtjr | Feb 7 2009, 09:19 PM Post #1 |
The Train Conductor to Hell
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Science and Faith. Technology and magic. These two forces oppose each other at every turn. Yet both must exist in order for the world to survive. It is not meant to be taken in a dramatic sense. It doesn’t mean that if one vanishes the world vanishes with it. No, but when the world is in the most danger magic and technology must work together in order to preserve the earth and make sure that it continues to exist. -Author Unknown Chapter One: Deadites… I go to London for a little piece and quiet from this Chosen One business and I get jumped by a bunch of Deadite soccer hooligans. Just my luck… Ash silently snarled as he revved up his chainsaw. There were five of them in the alleyway. Three male, two female. Unlike the usual bunch of Deadite trash he attracted they were completely silent. They moved slowly and without the little dramatic flairs that Ash had become accustom to. “You know they always say to keep your work life and personal life separate!” He shouted grouchily. He slashed through the first Deadite to get close to him. “But you bastards make it pretty goddamn difficult!” The first Deadite went down without a twitch. Its head went bouncing off the wall right over his head. But shockingly enough the Deadite stood back up and drove its fist right into his stomach. Ash doubled over and gasped for air. What the hell? Ash groaned. They’re supposed to stop animating the bodies when the head is gone! And why aren’t they talking? They usually scream about swallowing my soul or how much they hate the Chosen One… Something is extremely wrong here. The wheels turned quickly in Ash’s head and he brought the chainsaw upwards and between the Deadite’s legs. With a powerful upward slash Ash slashed the Deadite right up the middle and let it fall apart. The Deadite still was twitching, but it sure as hell wasn’t going to do any harm in its current state. Ash turned his attention to the other four. “You want me to do the same thing to you that I just did to this bitch?” He snarled at them. “I’m feeling generous today guys! You can stumble on off and go find some cabin full of people to torment. I just want to have a relaxing day.” He unfastened his shotgun from his shoulder strap and leveled it at the demons. “Or,” he continued, “I can get to work on my new idea for anger management. I like to call it ‘Shotgun Splatter Art.’ It’s your move.” The Deadites stood in front of him in silence for a moment. Then one of the Deadites took one step forward and opened its mouth. The voice was not his own… Didn’t belong to a Deadite either. It sounded… human. Yet the voice dripped with so much poisonous contempt and hatred that it couldn’t be considered human anymore. “No…” The thing groaned. “You are muggle… Yet you have an air about you… You cannot survive.” “Muggle?” Ash asked confused. “Is that some kind of STD or something? I think I tested negative for that…” He cocked his shotgun and kept it trained on the thing’s head. “But I’m not liking the sound of this…” He pulled the trigger and turned the zombie’s head into a mess against the alley wall. Then he quickly pointed the shotgun at its knees and shot them as well. Ash turned his sights onto the next zombie. “How about you? Care to give me an answer that doesn’t piss me off? Let me give you a hint as to what answers don’t piss me off. It starts with a Y, and it rhymes with less.” “Die.” It snarled, and the three zombies stalked towards him. “Well I guess you can’t teach old zombies new tricks,” Ash sighed. He blasted it in the head and knees just like the last one. Unfortunately the other two were much to close for shotgun use. And he didn’t have enough room to swing his chainsaw anymore. He dropped it and clenched his fists. Luckily his mechanical one was still working fine. But as Ash drew his fist back for a punch, there was a flash of light, followed by the sudden intense smell of gasoline that filled the air and suddenly the two female zombies burst into flames. Ash looked to see what the hell just happened and he saw a very tall and well-built man leaning against a dumpster. The man wore a pair of darkly tinted sunglasses, and he wore a self-amused smirk on his face. He was carrying a very compact flamethrower...A kind Ash had never seen before. “You must be Ash,” the man said to him quietly. “I’ve been looking for you for awhile now.” Ash leveled the shotgun at the man’s head. “Forgive my rudeness, but considering these five were looking for me as well, I’d prefer to be on the cautious side. Drop the weapon and put your hands where I can see them.” “Fire away,” the man said in a bored tone. “And then when you’re out of ammo I’ll hope you’re ready to talk.” The Chosen One shrugged for a moment. “Well I can’t really pass up an offer like that.” Ash pulled the trigger and his boomstick roared. The shell punched through the man’s head with a ripple and went through into the dumpster behind him. Ash saw a brief glimmer of something silver and then the hole in the man’s head sealed shut. The man continued to look at Ash with an unfeeling gaze. “Are you done yet?” Ash pulled the trigger again. This time he hit the man’s chest. It had the same result! There was just a small ripple and the shotgun shell broke through the dumpster. The wound sealed shut almost immediately. The man crossed his arms impatiently and continued looking at him. Ash pulled the trigger five more times, and each time he got the same result. He was about to fire it again when the man held up his hand. “Can I ask you a question?” “Make it quick.” “How is it you can fire off shotgun shell after shotgun shell without ever having to reload?” Ash just shrugged. “It’s a perk of my job I guess.” He never really wondered about it. “Want to see how long I can keep this up? My highest record is for sixty-seven consecutive bullets. Want to see if I can make it to sixty-eight?” “Sent forgot this little detail…” The man sighed. “No, this meeting will take long enough as is, we don’t need your trigger finger to extend it at all.” He started towards Ash with his hand raised outwards. Ash let out another shot, but it didn’t so much as make the man pause. He just kept coming towards him. Ash attempted to pull the trigger again, but the man grabbed the shotgun and bent it downwards. “Enough of that.” The man places his hand on Ash’s shoulder and put enough pressure to make it impossible to escape, yet not hurt. “Alright, I’ve got him.” The man spoke into the thin air. Before Ash could ask whom the hell he was talking to, a bright blue light enveloped them both. In the blink of an eye they went from standing in some alley to some swanky hotel suite. The man let go of Ash and he stumbled back. “W-what the hell just happened?” He asked sharply. “And don’t lie to me. Just because a shotgun shell doesn’t work on your creepy ass doesn’t mean I can’t chainsaw you to hell and back!” The man was about to open his mouth to answer, but then a man’s voice boomed through the room, “That’s enough Soja! Leave us for now; I would like to talk with our guest for a moment… Alone.” The man, or rather Soja, turned to where the voice came from. “Alright.” He looked one more time at Ash, “Sorry about the shotgun, but I was getting tired of the bullets.” Without another word Soja walked off into another room. Right as he left, another man walked in. He was a bit shorter than Soja was, lighter of skin, hair, and build. He also had a haircut that made Ash think of a penis. “My name is Sent,” the penile-like man said with a deep rumbling voice. “The one who brought you here goes by the name of Soja.” “What is he?” Ash growled. “And why am I here?” “Soja is what we in the know call a Terminator…” The man said idly, “He’s the newest model. Made from nanite technology, he’s almost impervious to harm.” “And why am I here?” Ash repeated angrily. “I’m here to offer you the chance to join something greater than yourself and to help save the world from a war that threatens to rip our entire world, and worlds beyond, apart. We need your help, Chosen One.” Ash clenched his fists, “I don’t want any part of this bullshit. I’m done with all of this saving the world crap. I just want to live my life.” “If you do not help us Ash, your life will be remarkably short.” Ash lifted the man up by his throat and applied a tiny bit of pressure. “Is that a threat? Because if it is, I’ll toss you down to Hell as I take the stairway to Heaven.” “N-not a threat,” Sent gasped. “The world is going to be fed to the flames in a matter of weeks if you do not help.” “Why do you need my help?” Ash grumbled. He put the man down and let loose of his throat. “The League is being reformed. They need a new leader.” Sent said softly as he rubbed his throat with a wince. “What the hell are you talking about? What League?” Sent let out a quiet laugh, “I'm talking about The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. We want you to lead them.” |
 Formerly Wirtjr, Denny Crane, Freddy Krueger, Rodney McKay, Bruce Campbell and Ash Williams
Brawl Code: 2793-4775-6845 | |
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| Sentenal | Feb 7 2009, 09:36 PM Post #2 |
When you can't make them see the light, make them feel the heat.
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League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, with terminators and chainsaws? heh I look forward to more |
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| Crysta | Feb 8 2009, 12:01 AM Post #3 |
yay for conformity!
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Soja's becoming the main character in a lot of fics lately... XD |
~ Crysta, Zombie Queen
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| Soja | Feb 8 2009, 05:32 AM Post #4 |
Gentle Water, Crashing Waves
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Just wait for the next installments... XD |
Fusion Universe - FEF Fanfic Slayers Forth - Slayers Fanfic Smartest Member '06 & '07 & '08 & 'o9, Favored Debater '07 & '08 & '09, Most Popular '08, Manliest '08 & '09, Author of Nightmares, Scourge of the Luxon, Rules Lawyer, Nick's Former Hero, Crysta's Lover | |
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| Dragon_Sniper | Feb 8 2009, 09:05 AM Post #5 |
mmmmmmmatt cassel
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Awesomeness. Good stuff, Wirt. I look forward to reading more. :D |
 They like me! They really like me! (And Hakado! :D) | |
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| +Hollie | Feb 8 2009, 02:13 PM Post #6 |
Resident Brit
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League of Extraordinary Gentlemen meets chainsaws and zombies? FUCK YES. |
Known as Haar on Brand of Flame. Bitch.  Formerly Margaret Thatcher, Aleksandr | |
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| Ryotaro Dojima | Feb 9 2009, 03:03 AM Post #7 |
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Hmmm, interesting premise... |
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| Tiaro | Feb 9 2009, 10:55 AM Post #8 |
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No one else but Arick could come up with this idea. XD |
Brawl code: 1118-0273-4847
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| Wirtjr | Feb 9 2009, 04:48 PM Post #9 |
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The Train Conductor to Hell
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Chapter Two: “The League of what?” Ash asked confused. He had never heard of it. He had heard of various ‘secret’ societies such as the Masons, or the Scientologists, but he had never heard of a League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. It sounded like the name of a high priced gay strip club. “The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen…” Sent said quietly. “At first it was created as an elaborate con. The man who created this idea originally meant it to be a way to gather together several unique samples that he could duplicate and then sell to the world as weapons… But the League learned of this treachery and killed the man who made the mistake of bringing them all together. Throughout the years various Leagues were formed when the world was in dire trouble. They had some… mixed results. Some of them were successes, others were bloody failures.” “I see…” Ash muttered. “And now why do you want me to lead them?” It wasn’t a very well known fact that he had lead people before… He only told that to women at bars when he tried to get a one night stand. And unfortunately most of those women were possessed by Deadites within hours of sleeping with him. So it wasn’t like they lived long enough to talk about it. “Well this dossier of your… exploits tells me that you not only keep your head while under pressure, but thrive in it.” Sent said with a smile. He pulled out a small black notebook. He flipped through it and took a glance. “There’s a story in here that claims you created a makeshift harpoon gun out of an aerosol can, a sharpened pipe, and a hammer. And then proceeded to kill six psychotic murders in less than ten minutes.” “First off, it was only five and a half. That last one was a midget.” Ash said sharply. “And secondly, they weren’t psychos. They were demonically possessed corpses.” “Semantics…” Sent murmured. He flicked through the paper and chuckled. “Here’s another… You recently came out of meeting with not just one legendary mass murderer, but two… One’s Freddy Krueger, and Jason Voorhees.” Ash cringed. It wasn’t something he liked to think about. That was the incident that got his hopes up. He hoped that the Necronomicon was gone for good this time. He had hoped that he could finally lead a normal life. But his hopes were shattered when the Deadites came back and took Caroline from him. He dismembered her himself. It was the least he could do. “I’d rather not talk about that one…” Ash replied quietly. “There was a lot of collateral damage that time, and a lot of deaths that could have been avoided.” “Regardless, you’ve got experience with dealing with bizarre situations. But more importantly, you’re known to get good results.” “And why should I agree to help?” Ash asked flatly. “Because you’ll get a chance to finally destroy the Book of the Dead.” Sent told him with a shrug. “If that’s destroyed you finally do get to live a normal life.” Ash stood there silently for a moment. Destroy the Necronomicon? How? He had tried dozens of times, but the dammed book always came back… But what if he were to succeed this time? His life could go back to normal… Sure he’d miss beating up various Deadites, but he could find something to replace that simple joy. He could finally have a steady girlfriend and not worry about her trying to swallow his soul. Hell, he could finally leave that dammed S-mart behind. The only reason he still worked there was because they never cared when he vanished without a trace for a few weeks. “Who else is on this ‘League’?” Ash asked quietly. “There’s you,” Sent said. “Soja is bringing in another member shortly. He’ll be coming with you as well.” “Is that all? Me, some dude and a robot?” Ash demanded. “True, the robot is nearly indestructible, but I still would prefer more people.” Sent raised a hand, “Oh don’t worry. There are more people to recruit. But unfortunately they probably will not be as cooperative as you… That again, is where your skills come in. You’re good at convincing people to cooperate.” “What would you do if I accidentally killed someone when trying to make them cooperate?” Ash asked snidely. “‘Cause I tend to get carried away sometimes.” Sent shook his head and chuckled again, “Yes I know. Your dossier makes that very clear… But regardless, you’re the best man for the job. Are you in?” “Tell me who else we’re going to ‘ask’ to join, and I’ll give you my answer.” Sent pulled out several more dossiers from his coat and held them up. “The woman who Soja is bringing in is named DSie… She was the protégé of the late Mina Harker. Mina was the last surviving Vampire. Before she was killed she gave DSie a vial of her blood. Vampire blood contains miraculous properties. Once DSie injected herself with it she gained longevity and an innate sense of understanding. She merely has to look at something and she’ll understand how it works.” Ash snatched the file out of his hand and took a look at what was inside. “Cute,” he said with a deadpan tone. “Who else?” Sent opened up another dossier. “This one is a bit more difficult, and we’ve had a hard time making sure he can’t go anywhere…” He murmured. “His name is Yzarc. He’s what is known as a Timelord. They’re effectively immortal and they can travel through time. Thanks to some technology from some friends from out of town, we’ve got an electromagnetic field surrounding the planet and preventing him from traveling to a different period of time.” “Sounds like he’ll be a riot to find…” Ash muttered. “Anyone else?” Sent held up his two last dossiers. “These two will be perhaps the most difficult to convince. The first one goes by the name of Solide. He’s an astrophysics professor with nine different Nobel Prizes. He is perhaps the most brilliant man alive today. He’ll be an invaluable asset to you.” “And the other one?” “You’ll want to tackle this one last…” Sent said softly. “Beneath the Golden Gate Bridge lays a beast of extraordinary power. She is also one of the oldest creatures still alive. The troll’s name is Crysta. She’s thirteen feet tall and almost as wide. She’s very savage and has killed most of the people we’ve sent to talk with her. Normally we would have given up on her, but you’ll need her muscle to get the job done.” “And just what is the job?” “All across the world people are being attacked and slaughtered by what is either magic, or a technology so advanced it just seems like magic.” Sent told him. “The man behind these world wide attacks calls himself the Lightning Lord. He has in his possession the Necronomicon Ex Mortis. We have a pair of agents inserted into his ranks and they tell me that he’s planning on launching a major offensive against the United States, England, Pakistan, Israel, India, Russia, and China… And they’re going to do it in such a way that it’ll look like the other countries attacked them... It’ll most likely lead to nuclear war.” “And you want me and this League to find and kill him?” Ash questioned with a smirk. “What are we, the Black Ops? Why doesn’t some government do it themselves?” Sent clenched his fist and snapped, “They’ve tried! Nineteen times now! Each time they found and cornered him he killed their men and disappeared into thin air! This is a shadow war, but all the governments are beginning to get worn out.” “So you’re not with some government?” Sent shook his head, “Not anymore. I broke away from them when they began debating on whether to surrender or not… As if that would stop this man from tearing them apart.” Sent looked Ash in the eyes and then said, “What me and my associates want is for you to find the Lightning Lord and find out whether their power comes from technology or magic. And if it’s possible, destroy it all.” “What about the Necronomicon?” “Do whatever you like to it.” Sent said with a broad smile. “So are you in?” Before Ash could answer the question, there was another intense burst of bright blue-white light flashed in the room. Suddenly the Terminator stood in the room holding onto a young woman who Ash recognized from the photo. “Ah, DSie, welcome, make yourself at home.” The woman looked at Soja, and then looked back at Sent. “Why did you send a robot composed of millions of nanites to find me? And why did you teleport us from my hotel room on the other side of this building?” “I find that a dramatic opening helps when I ask for something from you.” The woman’s fist clenched and it looked like she was going to hit him. Then she suddenly calmed down. “You’re not Cabal, right? They’ve been hounding me for years now.” “Well the Cabal are in this building DSie. And they are looking for you. I can offer you a way to escape them for good, if you would like.” Sent said. He was obviously a man who knew what people wanted to hear. Because it seemed that DSie took the bait immediately. “What do you want from me?” Sent filled her in on the details. It only took a few moments. “Alright, I’m in.” She said immediately. “So how do you plan on getting rid of the Cabal?” “I’ll signal the Odyssey to beam you all to the general location of where the Timelord was last spotted… But it’ll take awhile for us to get a lock on him, since the electromagnetic field is playing havoc with our own rada-“ Before Sent could finish his sentence the door of the room flew off the handles and smashed against Sent. He went down without a sound, and then five people stormed into the room. They were wearing full tactical gear, they had laser scopes attached to the assault rifles they carried and it appeared that they also had silencers installed on their guns. Behind them was a large machine that looked like a cross between a howitzer gun, and a jet engine. Ash quickly bent over to check for a pulse on the man. He felt it… So he was alive. Barely, but he was alive. Ash turned to face the attackers and wound up staring down the barrels of forty-five calibers of hot death. The Chosen One put his hands up in the air in a sign of peace. “Whoa whoa whoa. Let’s not get carried away here chief. Let’s talk about this peacefully.” One of the armed men slammed his machine gun into Ash’s gut, “Quiet you,” the man snarled. “Alright DSie. This game of cat and mouse is over now. Give up peacefully and come with us.” Ash looked at the Terminator who was standing there placidly. He didn’t budge, and it appeared that he didn’t even realize what was going on. Ash tapped the robot in the thigh and it didn’t even register. “Don’t bother asshole,” one of the armed men said with contempt. “We came prepared. We uploaded a virus into him when we fired our subsonic cannon at your door. He’s not going to be moving for a few more hours.” “Why have you been hunting after me?” DSie asked with a confused tone. “I have done nothing to the Cabal.” “You injected yourself with the Source Blood.” The Cabal agent said. “According to the records we stole from the Five, the Source Blood was supposed to have been all used up when they injected themselves with it… Yet you injected a sample of it into yourself thirty years ago. That means they were wrong and there is more out there… You’re going to give it to us.” It’ s a real shame that they are so distracted with DSie. Ash thought. Because if they weren’t so distracted, they would have noticed that Soja just blinked his eyes and they went from complete calmness to raging anger. The Terminator lashed out with his hands and ripped the guns out of the two nearest Cabal agents. He slammed his palms into their chest and sent them both hurtling into the walls. Ash took that as an opportunity to do something as well. He sure as hell wasn’t going to let that robot show him up. He detached his normal robotic hand and slipped into something that he had gained from some of his adventures. Most of the things he got from adventures were scars and nightmares. But there was an occasion that he managed to get a souvenir. Such as Freddy Kreuger’s razor glove. He had it hanging off his rearview mirror. But his personal favorite souvenir was something he got from his brief, and completely accidental, trip to an alternate reality. Doctor Doom’s robotic laser hand… He took it off of a Doombot that the sweet, sweet Scarlet Witch blew up for him… It was a pity the zombies ate her, she was drop dead gorgeous… But regardless of that, the hand sure came in handy on occasion, and today looked like it would be useful again. Ash attached the hand and let out a blast of energy. It took the first man in the chest and he fell down without a sound. The man standing next to him decided it would be in his best interest to simply run away… So Ash fired a blast of energy at the small of his back and nailed him right as he got out of the door. And while all of this was going down, Soja began attacking the one who appeared to have been leading the group. What was disturbing was that they were trading blow for blow as if they were equals. But from what Ash saw earlier, Soja was clearly much much stronger than a normal person. As they continued trading punches and kicks, Soja maneuvered him in front of him. So Ash decided to take advantage of it and blast the man in the back. The shot didn’t do anything to him. Hell he probably didn’t even realize it yet… That probably wasn’t a good sign. That had to have meant that… Oh shit. “That man is a Terminator just like Soja!” DSie cried out. Soja jerked and his eyes registered a tiny bit of fear. Especially when the enemy Terminator thrust his erect fingers towards his forehead. Soja jerked back and swatted the hand away. As he did so Soja copied the man and thrust his fingers straight at the Terminator’s forehead. This Terminator wasn’t nearly as fast, and Soja’s fingers dove through the nanites that made up the Terminator’s body and made a huge ripple in the man’s face. After a silent moment, Soja ripped his fingers from the Terminator’s head and he fell apart into dust. Soja took the time to spit at it, and then looked at them. “Thanks for that,” he told DSie gravely. “After I knew what he was I realized I could sever the nanite bond holding him together… Just like what he tried to do to me.” “I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about.” Ash growled. “But I think we should get out of here now.” As if to prove his point more Cabal agents stormed into the room. When they saw that their first wave were killed they immediately flipped the safety off of their weapons and aimed them at the three of them. “Right.” Soja said. Right as the bullets sped towards them the same bright blue light enveloped them all and they vanished. __ “Dammit!” THR snarled. “How the hell did you let this happen?” He snapped at his agents. “We were supposed to take the woman alive! But you let her escape!” “It’s not a total loss sir!” One of his men said timidly. “They forgot one.” He motioned to the one laying motionless under the door. “Well then…” THR murmured darkly. “Get another Terminator and have it probe this man’s mind. He’ll know where they’ve gone.” “And what do we do with him after that?” “Kill him…” THR said callously. “We can’t leave witnesses.” “Sir… I don’t think that’s going to be possible.” “Why not?” THR snapped. His patience was running thin. His superiors wanted DSie alive. He had assured them that he’d be able to capture her today. They did not put up with failures… At least when the stakes were so high. “Because sir… I don’t think its possible.” The man pointed down to Sent. “Look at him. There are multiple points in his body where fragments of the door impaled him. Including his throat. A normal man should have died from that kind of trauma… Yet he’s still alive.” “He barely has a pulse.” THR stated. A deep and amused chuckle came from Sent’s body. “Never had much of a pulse… Not much of a heart either. Go ahead and kill me. I’ll just find another vessel.” When the words left his mouth, Sent’s body abruptly began to change. His skin became a pasty pale white, much of the meat on his bones vanished. His jaw elongated and his jaws filled with sharp obsidian black teeth. His nails grew out and turned the same color of black. His penile-like hair changed into greasy and long black hair. What was the strangest was the long prehensile tongue that came slithering out of his mouth. It was long, black, and appeared to be scaled. Sent turned his head and gazed at THR. His eyes turned from the round dark blue eyes into slits of sulfur yellow. “meet your death… I will feed on you before the end… I will savor your lifesign.” THR cursed and had to stop himself from grabbing a gun and killing it out of hand. “Get the Terminator in here now! The sooner we probe it the sooner we can kill it!” |
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Formerly Wirtjr, Denny Crane, Freddy Krueger, Rodney McKay, Bruce Campbell and Ash Williams
Brawl Code: 2793-4775-6845 | |
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| Dragon_Sniper | Feb 9 2009, 04:59 PM Post #10 |
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mmmmmmmatt cassel
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Excellent chapter, Wirt. Can't wait for more. |
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They like me! They really like me! (And Hakado! :D) | |
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| +Hollie | Feb 9 2009, 07:36 PM Post #11 |
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Resident Brit
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Yzarc the TIMELORD? This is like, the biggest crossover story ever. But it's pretty good so far. 
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Known as Haar on Brand of Flame. Bitch. Formerly Margaret Thatcher, Aleksandr | |
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| Crysta | Feb 10 2009, 06:44 AM Post #12 |
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yay for conformity!
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I hate you, by the way. |
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~ Crysta, Zombie Queen
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| Ryotaro Dojima | Feb 10 2009, 11:52 AM Post #13 |
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I caught a hint of Sacnctuary and Stargate in there now too if I am not mistaken. |
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8:17 PM Nov 26
