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| Short Scene: "Shallow"; just cause I can | |
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| Topic Started: Feb 12 2009, 08:23 AM (44 Views) | |
| Psiwri | Feb 12 2009, 08:23 AM Post #1 |
Too Many Words
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Yeaaah, fiction writing class assignment, the first one that's longer than two pages double spaced (five!) that I just finished this morning, I figured I might as well post it if I had to go through the pain of writing it. It's a dialog heavy piece (unusual for me) and is essentially light humor. “I think I landed on my tail bone.” “Would you stop whining and get the rope so we can get out of here?” The man searched his body for the rope and failed to find it. “I uh, that might be a problem.” “You forgot the rope?” “Not exactly, well, yeah.” “Wonderful, just wonderful!” “Hey, not like I could have predicted we'd fall through the ground like that when we stopped to take a break, I put the rope down and relaxed, sue me.” Kayla snorted. Clods of dirt fell haphazardly around them as the small, sun-filled opening above slowly grew in size. Michael looked on from his own corner of the cavern room, watching the two bicker. While unexpected, the recent change of events was proving to be entertaining, if not painful. He looked up at the sunroof and guessed the fall must have been somewhere around twelve feet. To think there was an entire cavern there just inches beneath the ground. “Problems?” he asked. “Oh I don't know, we're only just stuck in some cave we didn't even know existed.” Kayla's thick sarcasm was a tell-tale sign of her frustration. “Actually,” the other woman of the group spoke up, “I had a few ideas that this might have been here.” She took off her glasses and cleaned the dust off on her shirt as she continued, “It's likely that this is connected with that rumor of that river no longer flowing down its usual path.” “Oh, really? Maybe this wasn't so bad then.” Kayla said, her mood swung around as though it was a pendulum. “I wish I could be satisfied that easily.” Henry commented. “Maybe if you wouldn't forget to hold onto our survival gear, you didn't lose anything else did you?” The pendulum swung back. “No, surprisingly. Why am I the pack mule anyway?” “'Cause you don't bring anything else to the table.” Michael laughed, “Now, now. Is that any way to treat someone you paid to bring along?” “When he loses the most important piece of equipment we had? Sure.” Henry grew quiet, probably tired of being the center of attention and target of insults. Michael could only assume as much, that was. He seemed like a straight-forward fellow, unlike the hypocritical Kayla. Derrik sure found a good pick this time around, he'd reap to fruits of that labor later when he got back to tell him how it went. Gullible people were so, enjoyable. “Hey, Lanna, what are you doing?” Kayla asked the other woman, who had wandered off to an odd formation of rock while they were talking. “Me? I'm just looking at this quartz formation. Given the other materials in the area it strikes me as out of place.” Michael didn't have the same interest in the dirt and rocks around here as Lanna did, but he was still convinced that the fact Kayla had managed to find such a person was a lucky fluke. One he was glad for, as this cave was news to him as much as it was to the others. “That's um, nice,” Kayla said. “Hardly the most interesting part about this cave,” Lanna added. “There's a distinct lack of stalagmites or stalactites, in this room at least. The temperature is also unusually warm, probably because of how close to the surface this is, I can't imagine there not being deeper compartments, though.” “So... what's that have to do with us getting out of here?” Henry spoke up. “Not much, really, but from what I can surmise, this part of the cavern looks like it could cave in entirely at any moment, similar to how we fell in,” she stated. “Y-you've got to be kidding me,” Kayla said. “No joke?” Michael asked, perhaps this wasn't all the fun and games he was aiming for. “Shouldn't we get moving, like, now?” Henry's voice quivered. “--then again, with ceiling this thin it probably would have already caved in a long time ago if that was the case, this might just be the highest intact, or, previously intact, compartment of the complex.” Her words were more thinking out loud than they were addressed to the group. The other three let out a collective sigh of relief, Lanna ignorant of their worry. With excellent timing a large chunk of the room's ceiling fell in an explosion of thick dust. Though the room was silent, save the sound of everyone coughing, it was anything but calm. Michael, while shaky himself, took the time to ingrain the expressions on Kayla and Henry's faces into his mind. If only he had a camera. Their spooked faces turned to Lanna expectantly. “Don't look at me like that, I never claimed to be a professional. Still, given this latest event, it might be wise of us to go further in.” “I like that idea.” Kayla sputtered out immediately, re-adjusting the bag on her shoulder as she started down one of the narrow paths out of the larger room. “Not that way, over here.” Lanna pointed a directing finger towards the pathway on her side. “That way doesn't get us closer to the river.” Kayla stopped and turned around, “I don't care about that anymore, I just want to get out!” “Backing out after coming so far?” Michael chided. For their self proclaimed leader, she wasn't being very commanding nor informed on the whole matter. “I better get paid in full for this regardless of the outcome,” Henry added in. “Can't we worry about that later?” “If you just want to get out, going down to the river is still the way to go. We can use the flowing water to show us a way out.” Lanna offered. “Unless you have a better idea?” Kayla looked around the area, the way she was headed had a steep drop and the ground below couldn't be seen with the poor lighting available. “You forgot the lights too, didn't you Henry?” Henry raised his hands in defense, “Those weren't my responsibility.” Michael smiled to himself, he had the lights on him but he wasn't about to let either of them know that. If Kayla couldn't even remember who was assigned what in the brief time they spent 'planning' then he'd be better off if Lanna took over. “I think I hear the sound of flowing water down this passageway as well,” Lanna said. “Michael, hand me one of the flashlights, would you?” Undermined so quickly! “Sure thing.” He opened a compartment of his pack as he walked over to the woman, removing a large, heavy flash light and handing it over. “Michael!” Kayla's voice, which had grown increasingly annoying over time, was implicative enough. “Yeah yeah, I got one for you as well.” “That's not what I meant.” Getting a bit keen, are we? “Maybe you should stop blaming everything on Henry, might let you grasp the situation better.” “Just give me the flashlight.” “But of course.” Kayla was still standing on the other side of the room, far from where Lanna was inspecting the passageway. “Are you going to come over here and get it or what?” “Oh come on, I want to see what this one looks like.” Michael took another one of the clunky devices for himself and then tossed the pack towards Henry, “Catch.” He caught it all right, but it was the bottom he had managed to grasp, and the other two flashlights tumbled on to the cavern floor. “Careful! We don't have any spares, you know.” “We also don't need to look at places we aren't going, but you're the boss.” “Can't you be just a little respectful, or nice, or anything?” “Not to you.” “Oh grow up.” Henry coughed, “Here's your flashlight.” He handed one of the remaining two to Kayla, who hastily snatched it out of his hand. “Thanks.” She flipped it on, and took a look around the passage, lots of nothing, really. “This side's a dead end, anyway.” No surprise there. “Settles that then, doesn't it?” Michael turned around to see Lanna was still peering around the other dark passage. “So, does it look like a safe route?” Lanna started a bit, “Oh, oh yeah, this looks safe.” What was that about? “You two hooligans here that? This way's the way to go.” “I have no idea who you're talking to,” Kayla said as Henry just looked at her wearily, rolling his eyes. “These are unusual formations of minerals in this place,” Lanna noted. “Does that mean anything we should be aware of?” Henry asked. “No, not really, unless you're interested in this kind of stuff.” No one else was. “Well then, let's get going so we can get out of here before we miss lunch,” Kayla pressed, her movements were getting more and more fidgety. “Lead the way, Lanna,” Michael said, casting his vote on who he'd rather follow. “Yes, please do, Lanna.” Henry voted, too. “Hey, I'm the one who—never mind.” Kayla sighed loudly. “Alright, let's get going, then.” Lanna walked into the dark passageway. |
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12:53 PM Nov 23
