Mega Man Star Force RPG |
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| Johnathan Star and Nova Sabre Ere | |
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| Topic Started: Nov 3 2009, 08:50 PM (97 Views) | |
| Post #1 Nov 3 2009, 08:50 PM | The EM King |
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Human: Name: Jonathan Star Age: 15 Gender: Male Description: He usually wears a Jumpsuit with a Star symbol on it. It is totally grey and covers everything except his face. Personality: He is calm, kind hearted, caring and reluctant to enter into a fight unless absolutely necessary. Biography: His parents left him at an orphanage so he really doesn’t know what his real name is so he made up the Alias Jonathan Star to cover up for that fact and started becoming a professional thief to make some money so he could afford a wizard. Wizard: Name: Nova Ere Gender: Male Description: He is like a more armored version of Omega and has a Katana on his back. Red and silver replaces Omega’s blue and green. Personality: He is strict, cold hearted and relentless. Biography: He is Omega’s brother come to Earth because of a Parallel dimension opening up and spewing out bad copies of beings in this dimension and he could only find one human to merge with.
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| Post #2 Nov 3 2009, 09:03 PM | Omega |
| To start, welcome to SFRP. Its been awhile since I've had to approve a profile, and quite frankly I miss it T-T. You've come at an awkward time for us though. We're about to go through some revisions and are about to have a different method of approving characters, but you can go through the old approval if you want to start RPing now. I'll leave it up to you if you want to lurk around a bit before you end up having to do a reapproval in a month, so I won't post any of my comments about your character yet. |
There is ALWAYS a possibility.
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| Post #3 Nov 3 2009, 09:56 PM | The EM King |
| Hey. Can someone approve this? |
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| Post #4 Nov 3 2009, 10:28 PM | Omega |
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Woa. Easy there. Its been what? An hour since you posted this and all your last post did was bump the topic. I was expecting a response to what I said, but you've already answered in the CBox. I'll be going through the old approval rules, so sit tight. Here we go. Johnathan Description: You need to describe him alot more. Whats his hair style? What color are his eyes? What EXACTLY does the star emblem look like? Put description into your character so that everyone you R with can visualize your character fairly easily. Remember, you already have a perfect description of what he looks like in your head. This part is to help convey to other members what he looks like so they don't give you generic posts in a topic about your description. Johnathan's Personality: I'd like something specific in his personality. This is mainly a suggestion, since he seems sort of bland right now. I'll leave this part up to you, but I'd recommend adding more to it. Johnathan's History: This is really pretty bland. I'd like more here, and for it to make a little more sense. The not-knowing-your-name business doesn't make much sense if he's just at an Orphanage. You can keep this if you want, but I'd suggest something else entirely for him not having a name. Also, I think "professional" is a little over the top, but being just a theif is fine. All in all, you can keep this if you really really want to, but I think you should work this out some more and develop something better, since I think you're capable of it. Nova Ere's Personality: Same as what I had to say about Johnathan's really. I'd like some more here. Nova Ere's Bio: I'll make this as short as possible and just say that this simply will not do as a bio. We prefer if you don't relate your character to the Canon characters in Star Force, as this causes problems and such. Redo this entire part. As a suggestion though, you can just buy a Wizard, since Johnathan was stealing money to save up for one. Nova Saber Ere's Element: Check out the elements listed in section 4 of the rules. We do have a light element, so you can keep that. Just switch your main and sub around so that Light is your Main and Sword is your Sub. Thats just how our element system works, since Sword is in a lower tier than Light. Nova Saber Ere's Description: I'd like more. Keep in mind what I told you about Johnathan's description, and I think this one should pan out pretty easy. Duel Edge: Please read through our damage scale and give this attack a damage count. I can tell you right now that 50 slashes is pretty God Modish, so lower it down a whole lot. This part is normally difficult, so if you'd like some suggestions I can help you out. Nova Rod: This attack is asking for God Modding. Making essentially anything you want is asking for trouble, and with our current approval system, you'd need a Summon element anyway to be able to create anything used for combat. I suggest completely reworking this weapon. Post back here once you make those changes. Like I said, the weapons can be hard to create, so if you'd like us to help we can. Otherwise, I suggest reading the rules and looking at other characters that are approved for ideas. |
There is ALWAYS a possibility.
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| Post #5 Nov 7 2009, 10:56 PM | The EM King |
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Human: Name: Jonathan Star Age: 15 Gender: Male Description: http://beautiful-shinigami.deviantart.com/art/smiling-boy-86159196 Personality: He is calm, kind hearted, caring and reluctant to enter into a fight unless absolutely necessary. Biography: He was abandoned at an orphanage by rich parents who wanted to keep him safe from their competitors who had tried previously to kidnap him and use him as black mail on the parents. When he found out about the attempt to kidnap him he swore revenge on those competitors. 5 years from that time he had trained in the Martial Arts and also knew how to steal someone’s Zenny without them even knowing it was missing from their possession. After that he decided that it was time for him to make a career of thievery at least until he could afford a Wizard and be able to wave change. So for 9 years he kept being crafty and robbing people of their Zenny but taking only enough to scrape by for a while and then he did a big robbery which nearly got him caught but he escaped by the skin of his teeth. After that he gave up stealing. He is highly against thieves nowadays. Wizard: Name: Sapphire Gender: Female Description: http://lilredfox14.deviantart.com/art/navi-43951315 Personality: Shis strict, cold hearted and relentless. Biography: She once was a store bought Wizard with no special abilities or talents until Jonathan edited her to become more powerful. He added a few programs that the Sattella Police would be mad if they found out he added, namely the ability for her also to access computers not connected to EM Waves, but connected to the Internet. Meaning sh e can also travel the internet, the wave world and deep space easily. She had extensive training by him, and simulators on how to fight. She also has the ability to temporarily for 1 post freeze a person's main weapon up. (Hey. She has to have a small advantage)
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| Post #6 Nov 8 2009, 04:03 PM | Omega |
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Your profile is getting better. The pictures help, although you need to state that they're not your own work, since they are fan based drawings that can be mistaken as such. I can't make heads or tails of this sentence:
Why did they abandon him? Why were they trying to kidnap him? Does he know why? Answer these questions in your bio and that should finish that part up. For Sapphire, calling her the "perfect" water EM being is a stretch, so don't give her abilities that are otherwise not stated in your profile. I would also like to know exactly what you had in mind RP wise for her ability to fuse with anyone else. Are you sure you meant for Diamond Blade's gender to be female? I'm not saying its a problem, but I thought I'd point it out to make sure you were aware of what it said. Ice Schimitar: What do you mean by fire resistant? Do you mean that it can't be melted, or that it blocks all fire attacks? Using this attack as many times as you want [assumed in a single post] is not acceptable. You can use it once per turn simply because of its speed. Slip Lancer: How much of the area is covered in ice? Just where Diamond Blade slides, or is it a certain amount of area? Clarify exactly what you mean. Edited by Omega, Nov 8 2009, 05:00 PM.
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There is ALWAYS a possibility.
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| Post #7 Nov 8 2009, 04:41 PM | The EM King |
| See. I plan on making a sister for him who will get her later, a nd his Em being will change. So........ that is why she is able to merge with anyone is in order for her to be used in case he is hurt in battle or something. |
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| Post #8 Nov 8 2009, 04:57 PM | Omega |
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I still need you to clarify what I asked you about in your bio as well as for the fire resistance of your Ice Schimitar. Also, a post is a turn so your disclaimer didn't clear up much. The instant freezing ability of Sapphire can't be approved. Its way too God Modish, but you can limit the freezing by ALOT and be able to freeze certain objects souly for RP purposes. In fights, you won't be able to use this ability. You're also going to need to remove the techniques you just added. You're limited to two weapons starting out, and you've just generated 2 more. You can get extra weapons later once you have some zenny, but for now you just get two. This is an open world RP, so you're not limited to exact panels in fights. Saying that just your side is frozen is too vague, since that could be half of the planet. Give it a relative area, such as a circle of radius 10 around yourself or something like that. You can leave out the little bit about being able to Wave Change with anyone if you just intend for his sister to get her later. Thanks to the nature of Wizards and Wizard adapters, all she'd need to do is insert Sapphire's Wizard Adapter and would essentially be able to Wave Change with her through that. Also be aware that you won't be able to make his sister until you get about 300 posts (according to our current system). Members are allowed one character, then one NPC, which is what Johnathan's sister will have to be classified as. |
There is ALWAYS a possibility.
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| Post #9 Nov 8 2009, 05:30 PM | The EM King |
| There. It is corrected? Is he approved? |
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| Post #10 Nov 8 2009, 06:08 PM | Omega |
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I still need you to change the first sentence in your Biography for Johnathan to make more sense like I pointed out 2 posts ago. I also need you to explain what you mean by fire resistant for Ice Schimitar like I've asked for in the last two posts. For Slip Lancer, a 50 foot circle is a little much without drawbacks. Either give a duration for the ice panels (3-5 turns with a cooldown), or give a drawback to the attack itself. |
There is ALWAYS a possibility.
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| Post #11 Nov 8 2009, 06:28 PM | RyuuNoYami |
| If you didn't already know, 'Scimitar' is spelled incorrectly (you could've meant it to be that way). For the human bio, I can't make sense of it at all. I'm sorry, it's just... hard to read. I can't expect "perfect" in your biography for your Wizard either. As Omega said, 50ft is too much (if you change radius to diameter, that might work). Your "clarification" for the Ice 'Schimitar' only makes it more confusing. |
Sarcasm&Cynicism Incarnate is BACK!
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| Post #12 Nov 8 2009, 07:40 PM | The EM King |
| There. I fixed it at last. |
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| Post #13 Nov 8 2009, 07:50 PM | Omega |
| I just need you to mention something about the fire resistance of the Ice Scimitar, and you should be alright. |
There is ALWAYS a possibility.
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| Post #14 Nov 8 2009, 08:32 PM | The EM King |
| There. He is fully prepared. |
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| Post #15 Nov 8 2009, 09:19 PM | Omega |
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This profile is appropriate for passing. Approved. Wait for one more approval before you start RPing. |
There is ALWAYS a possibility.
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7:58 AM Nov 23
