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| Phoenix | Oct 1 2007, 02:31 PM |
Superemely Decadent Outlaw Superhero
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# ENVIRONMENT - Thunder and lightning always happen at the same time. # EVIDENCE - Incriminating evidence can be found either as photograph number four in a stack, or in the next to bottom drawer. # FIGHTS - If a character uses martial arts rather than a weapon, his opponents will always face him one-to-one. Spare bad guys may dance around the fight taunting our hero, but none will engage until his predecessor has been disposed of. - Two guys or a bunch of guys go at it, repeatedly bashing each other in the face with massive blows, or hitting each other with chairs, sticks, refrigerators, whatever -- and they go one doing this, sometimes for minutes at a time. # HEROES - If the hero has a psychological/physical problem which has prevented him from effectively dealing with problems, you can rest assured that this problem will disappear at an opportune time. - The hero always misses the villan leaving the scene by seconds. - Stripping to the waist makes you invulnerable. - The hero's best friend/partner will usually be killed by the bad guys --MORE--(24%) three days before retirement. - The hero's new wife will be mowed down by 80 machine guns right after the wedding or during the honeymoon. # HOUSES - The hero lives in New York City working at some okay, but not particularly high-paying job, and yet he or she has a roomy apartment filled with nice stuff, generally with a good view, and sometimes a nice, romantic rooftop to go to. - People who hear something weird outside will go OUT to look, even if they know there's a homicidal maniac on the loose. - When an intruder is in the house, the occupant will snuck along a wall with his back pressed to it tightly and his arms out a bit from his body, palms flat agaisnt the wall. - When there's an intruder somewhere in the house, the thing that jumps at the heroine in the dark turns out to be her cat, even if it comes from places cats wouldn't be, like inside a cupboard! As soon as she relaxes, the killer will show up and strangle her. # INJURIES - When the hero is knocked out, he won't get a concussion or brain damage. - People hit on the head will not throw up. - When a hero gets a bloody nose, he'll stop bleeding almost immediately. - When a hero suffers through car chases and crashes, he never has to worry about unfelt spinal injury from impact. - A slight blow to the head is usually enough to cause total amnesia - Characters that get shot will never go into shock. - The hero will always get shot in the shoulder, yet will be able to use his arm. |
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| Only In The Movies · Entertaindom | |
10:20 PM Nov 28
