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| Phoenix | Oct 1 2007, 02:36 PM |
Superemely Decadent Outlaw Superhero
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SPACE & VACUUM - Spaceships make noise! - Explosions in space make noise - Exposure to vacuum makes you horribly swell up and/or explode within seconds (ex. "Total Recall", "Outland") # TRAVEL - Transportation always arrives and leaves on time. - Characters arrive at the airport and get *right on the plane*. They must have the best timing of any people on Earth - I always have wait around for a hour or so before boarding. Good thing movie airlines never overbook! - Movie characters' suitcases are always weightless when they have to carry them. # VILLAINS - The bad guy is the foreigner. - People can be rendered inoperative by bumping them on the head. Beware, though; after you have left the scene, this person will regain consciousness and be more determinted to attack you. - The bad guy also has a side-kick muscleman, who has some sort of trademark gimmick that he/she uses to eliminate oppponents. You must kill or decomission this muscleman by forcing a backfiring of this trademarked gimmick. If the muscleman dispatched by a different method, he/she is not dead. (For that matter, don't assume that anyone is dead unless their death was spectacular. Beware sequels.) - The bad guy usually kills his henchman for failing, yet don't seem to run out of loyal henchmen. - Bad guys lurk until their presence is revealed by a flash of lightning. - You can kill the bad guy by taking careful note of any object that the camera has lingered on for an unnecessarly length of time; typically this is something like a meathook or a jagged bit of glass. You will be involved in a mighty struggle, and at the appropriate time you can become inspired (usually by either an insult from the bad guy or a look of faith from your love interest) with strength enough to force the bad guy into/onto/under/in front of the aforementioned object. Actor's Equity (Hollywood) requires that within 15 seconds either side of the bad guy's demise, you utter your trademark phrase. - The bad guy, having finally gotten the good guy into his clutches, will usually spend a few meglomaniac minutes gloating over his victory and his opponent's downfall. This increment of time will prove just enough to allow the good guy to figure a way out of his predicament, or just long enough to allow a rescue attempt. - The bad guy, instead of simply offing the captured good guy on the spot, will devise some sort of drawn-out, fiendishly clever method of execution that will take enough time to allow the good guy to figure out his escape. # WEAPONS - Major characters never run out of ammunition, nor do they ever have to reload. (If the movie _does_ make them reload, they never have to actually carry any spare ammo until that scene) - Guns never run out of ammunition unless escape would be otherwise impossible. - The first shot or burst of fire from a bad guy _always_ misses, and is there just to announce that a fight will be taking place. - Bad-guy hand grenades make noise and smoke, but no real damage; good-guy hand grenades are devastating but selective; they will destroy tanks, but won't hurt the thrower, even if he drops one on his toe. Bad-guy grenades used by good guys become good-guy grenades, and _vice versa_. - When the villain runs out of bullets, he'll throw away his gun. When the hero does so, he'll conveniently come across another. - Machine guns submerged underwater for a long time won't jam or misfire when the hero pops up to use them. (see any Rambo movie) - A cigarette case/lighter in the shirt pocket will always block the bullet. - When the hero faces a ridiculously large number of shooters with high powered weapons, they will all miss after several shots. Then, the hero will pulls out this gun that looks like a toy and start picking off the bad guys from half a mile away, usually hitting them in the forehead. |
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| Only In The Movies · Entertaindom | |
4:39 AM Nov 28
