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| Kids say funny things 2 | |
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| Topic Started: Apr 8 2008, 03:33 PM (37 Views) | |
| Phoenix | Apr 8 2008, 03:33 PM Post #1 |
Superemely Decadent Outlaw Superhero
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Little Jacob had a hard time getting use to a new baby in the house. Coming out of his bedroom talking rather loud and being told to be quiet, the baby is asleep, he very seriously said, "Well ya'll better be quiet, cause my foot`s asleep." Submitted by his Grandma ~~~~~ After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard her three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was that?" Submitted by Zaxgram ~~~~~ An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still, my heart, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps! Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?" Submitted by Qiltmeister ~~~~~ A new neighbor asked the little girl next door if she had any brothers and sisters. She replied, "No, I'm the lonely child." Submitted by Zaxgram ~~~~~ One day a guy was driving with his four-year-old daughter and beeped his car horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation. He said, "I did that by accident." She replied, "I know that, Daddy." He replied, "How'd you know?" The girl said, "Because you didn't say 'JERK' afterwards!" ~~~~~ I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!" Submitted by Zax ~~~~~ While her mother was studying the chapter on hematology for her nursing class, four-year-old Danielle asked what she was reading. Her mother said she was learning about blood and she explained how the heart pumps blood all the way through the body. Then she taught Danielle to feel her pulse in her wrists and feet. Danielle wandered away and her mother noticed her looking at the soles of her feet. Then Danielle twisted and turned and pulled down the top of her shorts to look at her bottom. She stretched her arms all the way around and managed to feel her back. Her mother didn't pay any attention until Danielle came back and asked, "Where do we put the batteries?" ~~~~~ The child was a typical four-year-old girl -- cute, inquisitive, bright as a new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album, thinking visual images would help. One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church, the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc. "Now do you understand?" he asked. "I think so," she said, "is that when mommy came to work for us?" Submitted by SandyD7 ~~~~~ A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages. "Momma, look what I found!" the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked. With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered: "I think it's Adam's suit!" Submitted by Cicec ~~~~~ My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied. Submitted by Zaxgram ~~~~~ A class professor was giving a lecture on company slogans and was asking his students if they were familiar with them. "Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan, 'come fly the friendly skies'?" Joe answered the correct airline. "Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, "Don't leave home without it?" Brenda answered the correct credit card company with no difficulty. "Now John, Tell me which company bears the slogan, 'Just do it'?" And John answered, "Mom." |
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| Temerity | Apr 8 2008, 03:35 PM Post #2 |
Member
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:laughter :laughter An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still, my heart, thought my friend, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps! Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?" Submitted by Qiltmeister :rolleyes: Oh dear there is no hope for some :laugh3 |
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| Phoenix | Apr 8 2008, 03:58 PM Post #3 |
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Superemely Decadent Outlaw Superhero
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some more.... Excerpted from the Columbus Dispatch, (compiled by Accent staff) 5/15/91: <Accent is the only portion of the Dispatch worth reading, IMHO> "Accent asked students at Columbus' Beck School, and Dublin's Chapman Elementary to study a list of 20 axioms with the key words missing." <Here are a few of my favorites:> --If you can't stand the heat, get a Pool. --If you can't stand the heat, get out of the oven. --A bird in the hand is messy. --Don't count your chickens, eat them. --You can't teach an old dog new math. --When in Rome, do Roman numerals in math. --When in Rome, do bulls run around town? --Too many cooks, so little meals. --A fool and his money are my best friends. --A penny saved is one cent. --Look before you run into a pole. --A watched pot never disappears. --A rolling stone makes you flat. --A rolling stone is a singing rock group. --Every cloud has a wet spot. |
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| Wolverine | Apr 8 2008, 04:16 PM Post #4 |
Dangerous when provoked
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:laughter :laughter :laughter v good :clap |
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| Red | Apr 8 2008, 06:01 PM Post #5 |
slightly interesting human
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What Wolverine said! :laughter :laughter |
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| Sandra Dee | Apr 8 2008, 07:20 PM Post #6 |
Member
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:laughter some of them are classic :clap Mind you I come out with some corkers myself at times :cheer |
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| Kiki | Apr 8 2008, 10:48 PM Post #7 |
Princess Brat
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What SD said! :clap :laughter |
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9:52 AM Nov 28
