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Season 4

4.01 A Change Is Gonna Come

Meredith: [voiceover] In the practice of medicine, change is inevitable. New surgical techniques are created, procedures are updated, levels of expertise increase. Innovation is everything, nothing remains the same for long. We either adapt to change, or we get left behind.

Meredith: Change; we don’t like it, we fear it, but we can't stop it from coming. We either adapt to change or we get left behind And it hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it doesn’t is lying. But heres the truth: the more things change, the more they stay the same. And sometimes, oh sometimes change is good. Oh sometimes change is everything.



4.03 Love/Addiction
Meredith: [voice over] In the hospital we see addiction everyday, it’s shocking how many kinds of addiction exist. It would be too easy if it was just drugs and booze and cigarettes. I think the hardest part of kicking a habit is wanting to kick it. I mean we get addicted for a reason .... right? Often, too often, things that start out as just a normal part of your life at some point just cross the line to obsessive, compulsive, out of control. It’s the high we’re chasing, the high that makes everything else.......fade away.

Meredith: [voice over] The thing about addiction is, it never ends well. Because eventually whatever it is that was getting us high, stop feeling good and starts to hurt. Still they say you don’t kick the habit until you hit rock bottom, but how do you know when you’re there. Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, sometimes letting it go hurts even worse.



4.03 Let the Truth Sting

Meredith: [voice over] Doctors give patients a number things. We give them medicine, we give them advice and most of the time we give them our undivided attention. But by far the hardest thing you can give a patient is the truth. The truth is hard, the truth is awkward and very often the truth hurts. I mean .... people say they want the truth but do they really?

Meredith: [voice over] The truth is painful. Deep down nobody wants to hear it especially when it hits close to home. Sometimes we tell the truth because the truth is all we have to give. Sometimes we tell the truth because we need to say it out loud to really hear it for ourselves. And sometimes we tell the truth because we just can’t help ourselves. And sometimes ..... we tell them ..... because we owe .... them at least that much.

Izzie: Charlie the truth is you were a bastard, you were. You were mean and stubborn just, a bastard. But you were a bastard who knew what you wanted. And you stuck to your guns and proved if you want something bad enough, if you're determined enough, if you're patient enough eventually it will happen. It will. And that gives me hope and thanks for that.



4.04 The Heart of the Matter
Meredith: [voice over] In life only one thing is certain apart from death and taxes, no matter how hard you try, no matter how good your intentions....you are going to make mistakes. You are going to hurt people, you’re going to get hurt and if you ever want to recover ..... there’s really only one thing you can say.

Meredith: [voice over] Forgive and forget, that’s what they say. It’s good advice but it’s not very practical. When someone hurts us we want to hurt them back. When someone wrongs us, we want to be right. Without forgiveness old scores are never settled. Old wounds never heal. And the most we can hope for .... is that one day we’ll be lucky enough to forget



4.05 Haunt You Every Day
Meredith: [voice over] There’s a reason surgeons learn to wield scalpels, we like to pretend we’re hard cold scientists..We like to pretend we’re fearless. But the truth is we become surgeons because somewhere, deep down, we think we can cut away that which haunts us. Weakness, frailty, death.

Meredith: [voice over] It isn’t just surgeons. The truth is I don’t know anyone who isn’t haunted by something.... or someone. And whether we try to slice the pain away with a scalpel or shove it in the back the back of a closet, our efforts usually fail. So the only way we can clear out the cobwebs is to turn a new page. Or put an old story to rest. Finally, finally to rest.



4.06 Kung Fu Fighting
Meredith: [voice over] There’s this thing about being a surgeon. Maybe it’s pride or maybe it’s just about being tough but a true surgeon never admits they need help unless absolutely necessary. Surgeons don’t need to ask for help because they’re tougher than that. Surgeons are cowboys, rough around the edges, hardcore. At least that’s what they want you to think.

Meredith: [voice over] Deep down everyone wants to believe they can be hardcore but hardcore isn’t just about being tough. It’s about acceptance. Sometimes you have to give yourself permission to not be hardcore for once. You don’t have to be tough every minute of every day. It’s okay to let down your guard. In fact there are moments it’s the best thing you can possibly do. As long as you choose your moments wisely.



4.07 Physical Attraction... Chemical Reaction

Meredith: [voice over] Before we were doctors, we were med students which meant we spent a lot of time studying chemistry. Organic chemistry. Bio-chemistry. We learned it all. But when you’re talking about human chemistry only one thing matters. Either you’ve got it or you don’t.

Meredith: [voice over] Chemistry. Either you’ve got it or you don’t.



Episode 4.08 'Forever Young'
Meredith: [voice over] There comes a point in your life when you’re officially an adult. Suddenly you’re old enough to vote, drink and engage in other adult activities. Suddenly people expect you to be responsible, serious, a grown-up. We get taller ..... we get older ..... but do we ever really grow up.

Meredith: [voice over] In some ways we grow up. We have families, we get married, divorced. But for the most part we still have the same problems that we did when we were fifteen. No matter how much we grow taller, grow older..... we are still forever stumbling, forever wondering......forever...... young.



4.09 Crash Into Me - Part 1

Meredith: [voice over] We go into medicine because we want to save lives. We go into medicine because we want to do good. We go into medicine for the rush... for the high... for the ride. But, what we remember at the end of most days are the losses. What we lay awake at night replaying is the pain we caused or failed to cure. The lives we ruined or failed to save. So the experience of practicing medicine rarely resembles the goal. The experience too often is ass backwards and upside down.

4.10 Crash Into Me - Part 2
Meredith [voiceover]: At the end of the day, the experience of practicing medicine bears little resemblance to the dream. We go into medicine because we want to save lives. We go into medicine because we want to do good. We go into medicine for the rush, for the high, for the ride. But what we remember at the end of most days are the losses. What we like awake at night replaying is the pain we caused. The ills we couldn't cure, the lives we ruined...or failed to save. At the end of the day the reality is nothing like we hope. The reality is...at the end of the day more often than not turned inside out and upside down.

Meredith: [voiceover] Some days the whole world seems upside down. And then some how, and probably, and when you least expect it, the world rights itself again.



4.11 Lay Your Hands On Me
Miranda: [voice over] In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth... at least that’s what they say. He created the birds in the air and the beast of the fields and He looked at his creation and He saw that it was good. And then God created man and it’s been downhill ever since. The story goes on to say that God created man in His own image.... but there’s not much proof of that, after all God man the sun and the moon and the stars and all man makes is trouble. And when man finds himself in trouble, which is most of the time, he turns to something bigger than himself. To love or fate or religion to makes sense of it all. But for a surgeon the only thing that makes any kind of sense is medicine.

Miranda: [voice over] As doctors we know more about the human body now than at any other point in our history. But the miracle of life itself, why people live and die, why they hurt or get hurt is still a mystery. We want to know the reason, the secret answer at the back of the book. Because the thought of our being all alone down here is just too much for us to bear. But the at the end of the day the fact that we show up for each other in spite of our differences, no matter what we believe is reason enough to keep believing.




4.12 Where The Wild Things Are


Meredith: [voice over] We like to think we are rational beings; humane, conscientious, civilized, thoughtful. But when things fall apart even just a little, it becomes clear --- we're no better than animals. We have opposable thumbs. We think, we walk erect, we speak, we dream. But deep down we're all still rooting around in the primordial ooze; biting, clawing, scratching out an existence in the cold dark world like the rest of the tree toads and sloths.

Meredith: [voice over ] There's a little animal in all of us.....and maybe that's something to celebrate. Our animal instinct is what makes us seek comfort, a pac to run with. We may feel caged, we may feel trapped. But still as humans we can find ways to feel free. We are each other's keepers. We are the guardians of our own humanity. And even though there's a beast inside all of us....what sets us apart from the animals is that we can think.....feel.....dream and love. And AGAINST ALL ODDS AGAINST ALL INSTINCTS......we EVOLVE.




4.13 Piece of my Heart

Meredith: [voice over] Great surgeons aren't made they're born. It takes gestation, incubation, sacrifice. A lot of sacrifice. But after all the blood and guts and gooey stuff is washed away, that surgeon you become? Totally worth it!

Meredith: [voice over] Giving birth may be all intense and magical, but the act itself is not exactly pleasant. But its also a beginning of something incredible .... something new .... something unpredictable something true ... something worth loving ..... something worth missing ..... and something that will change your life forever. But its also a beginning of something incredible.





4.14 The Becoming

Meredith: [voice over] There's this person in my head. She's brilliant, capable, she can do chest tubes and craniotomies. She can run a code without fre.aking out, she's a really good surgeon...maybe even a great surgeon. She is me.......only so much better.

Meredith: [voice over]It was a good day, maybe even a great day. I was a good doctor even when it was hard. I was the me in my head. It was the moment when I thought "I can't do this...I can't do this alone" But I closed my eyes and imagined myself doing it. I blocked out the fear and did it!
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