Viewing Single Post From: LOVE IS IN EVERYTHING

Viewing Single Post From: LOVE IS IN EVERYTHING - Part 3
oncetherewasaway	Dec 4 2007, 08:46 PM
McEditor Posts: 1,625 Group: .Grey Girls. Member #23 Joined: October 25, 2006	Disclaimer: At this point you may have the idea that we don't like Rose. Which well...we don't. At all. I'm sure she's very nice in a creepy stalker who keeps track of how many surgeries of Derek's she scrubs in on way. But yes....we are not Rose fans. Which is why she wouldn't exist if we owned the show. There'd be no need for her anyway. If Derek weren't so worried about Mark, he would kill him. Right now, he would kill his brother and then probably admit to it. Because Mark had picked Hannah up from school that afternoon and his ten year old was now on the world's worst sugar high. He was pretty sure he had never actually seen her this bouncy. Which was a feat after seeing her on countless sugar highs for ten years. "Hannah, slow down just a bit," he yelled as she ran into the living room where Meredith was curled up on the couch, still not feeling well. He hadn't even gotten a chance to talk to Mark about the mysterious days off the week before. He had talked about his day with Hannah and the second Derek had asked about where they had gone missing to the week before Mark had made an excuse to leave. He had no idea what to do. Mark wasn't talking, Addison wasn't talking, and Mer was either too tired, too cranky, or too nauseous to make an effort at talking to Addison. So he was now worried about three people, three people who were being too stubborn for their own goods. He sighed as he grabbed a few crackers and put them on the tray next to some chicken noodle soup and ginger ale. Meredith swore that it was stress. No matter how many days it had lasted, no matter how bad it got, she kept saying it was stress. That had been an easy excuse last week when she had only felt ever so slightly nauseous but this was pushing it. There was obviously something more than stress going on but it was getting to the point that talking about anything felt awkward. As it might lead to the talk they were still avoiding. They needed to talk about it. He knew that. But she wasn't in the mood to talk. And he was fine with that. He just wished that avoiding that one talk didn't mean they avoided all talking. "Daddy, can we build the castle?" Hannah said excitedly as he walked into the living room. "Of course we can," Derek smiled, placing the tray on the table in front of Meredith. "You never say yes," Hannah grinned widely. "Well today I said yes," Derek laughed. "Did you hear that, Mom?" Hannah giggled. "Daddy said yes to building a castle. "He did," Meredith nodded. "So you have to eat your soup and then we're going to build the castle." "Hmmm..." Meredith sighed. "Maybe we could just watch a movie instead." "What?" Hannah frowned, staring at her. "But you love building castles." "I do...just...not today." "But...Daddy said yes," Hannah sighed, looking up at Derek for help. "Come on, Mer," Derek smiled gently. "It will be fun." "Maybe tomorrow," she said softly, pulling the throw over her shoulders. "Mer...are you sure you're okay?" Derek frowned, sitting down beside her. "I'm fine, Derek," she sighed. "You're obviously not," he shook his head. "Derek..." "Meredith, this isn't stress." "It could be an ulcer or something," she said. "And how could it not be stress? I just worked a fifteen hour shift, the entire time thinking I was going to vomit into a patient or something. Mark and Addison are...whatever. And we're...it's probably stress. It's an ulcer." "Okay, if it's an ulcer that's something wrong with you," Derek sighed. "And ulcers usually heal themselves." "I know. And it involves resting." "I'm resting. Right now...resting. I suggest a movie to rest and...I'm resting." "Fine. But I still get to worry about you and fuss over you." "Fine," she rolled her eyes. "Meredith..." "What?" she snapped and then took a deep breath. "Sorry. I just...sorry." "It's okay," he sighed, leaning forward to kiss her forehead. "You're allowed to be cranky when you're not feeling well." "I just...a couple days. A couple days and I'll be fine. And no stress. Which is impossible but..." "No stress," he nodded. "Mom, are you sick?" Hannah frowned. "No, Han," she shook her head. "Well...maybe a little, but nothing bad." "So you and Aunt Addie are sick," Hannah sighed. "It must be a...a...virus. Right, Daddy?" "It could be," Derek nodded. "Aunt Addie's sick?" Meredith asked Hannah as she sat up slowly to reach for her soup. "Yep," Hannah nodded. "Did Uncle Mark tell you that?" Meredith murmured. "He did," Hannah nodded. "Did he say what kind of sick, Han?" Derek asked quickly. "Nope, he didn't," Hannah shook her head. "But he said not bad sick." "Did he seem sad?" Meredith grimaced as she took a bite of her soup and put it down quickly, holding her hand over her mouth for a second. "A little, yeah," Hannah shrugged. "Oh," Derek frowned. "But he said it wasn't bad sick?" "Yep," Hannah nodded. "Well at least she's not bad sick," Meredith murmured as she stared at the crackers on the tray. "Yeah, that's good," Derek sighed. "Are we going to watch a movie?" Hannah asked. "We can do that," Derek nodded. "Postpone castle building till Mom's better." "Can I pick the movie?" "Of course," Meredith smiled softly. "Good," Hannah grinned as she ran to go look at the DVDs. "Are you sure you're okay?" Derek asked quietly. "Derek," Meredith groaned. "Mer...husband, I'm allowed to worry." "I know. But I'm not even throwing up. It's just nausea." "I know," he sighed. "But it's been sticking around." "It's only been a week." "A week is a long time for nausea." "Not if it's an ulcer." "Fine. I'm allowed to worry about an ulcer." "You don't need to worry," she shook her head, putting the crackers back down as she crawled back underneath the throw. "I'm a doctor. I know what to do. If I start feeling pain or vomiting blood I'll go talk to Bailey." "Mer...if I had been feeling nauseous for the last week would you be worried?" "Yes, but..." "But nothing. I worry about you. End of story." "Okay. But you...you have enough to worry about. Addison's apparently sick and Mark's being...weird. And work and Hannah and...I'm fine. It's just a little bit of nausea." "Still going to worry," he laughed softly. "Which will then lead to you getting an ulcer or something." "And then we can be ulcer buddies." "Derek," she groaned. "Meredith Shepherd...wife...husband...we worry about each other. Don't ask me to not worry about you." "You can worry. Just...don't make stupid jokes." "Fine," he rolled his eyes. "Stupid jokes don't...crap," she breathed, shooting up quickly and running to the downstairs washroom. "Mer..." he jumped up quickly. "Han...we'll be right back." He ran to the bathroom after his wife, frowning when he saw her hanging over the toilet, her hair in her hands. "I'm not...false alarm," she murmured, though still looking into the toilet. "Okay," he murmured, sitting down beside her. "But...I'm officially worried." "I didn't throw up. I just...I thought I was. I'm fine." "Thinking you're going to throw up is not fine." "I've been thinking I'm going to throw up for two days," she breathed as she slid down against the wall. "I know. And it's not good." "Derek...ulcer. Stress. Lots of stress." "Fine, ulcer," he nodded. "If you're not feeling better soon we're getting you checked out." "Define soon." "I don't know...it depends on if it gets any worse." "Which it won't," Meredith nodded as she stood up. "Our daughter is waiting for us." "She is. Are you okay for a movie?" "I'm not dying, Derek. It's a movie. We sit around and stare at the TV." "You're crabby when you're sick." "Mom?" Hannah poked her head in. "Are you okay?" "Yep, I'm good," Meredith nodded. "When my stomach hurts, Nana puts a hot thing on it," Hannah suggested. "She does," Derek nodded. "Want that, Mer?" "Couldn't hurt," Meredith sighed, taking a shaky breath as she put her hand to her stomach. "What movie are we watching, Han?" "Peter Pan." "Very cool," Meredith smiled slightly as she moved out of the restroom, her hand still holding her stomach gingerly. "You guys go start the movie and I'll be right there." "Okay, Daddy," Hannah nodded, grabbing Meredith's hand and leading her to the living room, slowly. Derek sighed to himself as he watched the two women in his life make their way down the hallway. Meredith was definitely sick. And she was definitely right that it could be an ulcer, which was probably his fault. They had to talk but they couldn't talk about that when she was sick. He just needed her to get better. And then they could figure everything out about them. He just had to make sure she wasn't stressing because of them. More stress wouldn't make her get better any faster. He'd maybe talk to the Chief or Bailey about letting Mer have a couple days off, though she would probably kill him. He just needed her to get well again. And then they could figure this out. Once they figured everything out, things would be good again. They would be them again. I'll wait until tomorrow Maybe you'll be better then Maybe we'll be better then Disclaimer: Paddy quotes Frank Sinatra. And his fave hotel is this rustic place in Georgia. And his fave restaurant is in Scotland. If we owned the show we would own him. And we'd be demanding that he became a polygimist and marry us too...because he's perfect. He's like this weird odd form of perfect. Derek rushed down the hallway, skirting around the groups of nurses and other doctors that were jamming up the hallway. There had been some sort of pile up and he was being paged 911 and he wasn't really moving fast enough today to actually get there quickly. He hadn't slept well the night before, worried about Meredith and now he was trying to just get through his work day. She was still sick, though it hadn't seemed to get any worse. There were a couple of moments early in the morning when she would bolt out of bed and hang over the toilet, only to cough a little and then come back to bed. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to be happy it hadn't gotten worse or worried that it hadn't gotten better. He just knew he was worried about her. And worried led to lack of sleep and moving slow. He wasn't in the mood to have to deal with a trauma patient, which was probably a very bad thing. It was his job and it was the last thing he wanted to be doing today. He still hadn't convinced Meredith that she should be talking to someone about the symptoms and he needed to get her in. He still needed to talk to Mark and figure out what the hell his problem was. He didn't have time for this. That definitely made him a bad person. And a bad doctor. Because there had been a pile up and it was his job to fix the people who would come in with head and spinal injuries. He was the head of neuro, people looked to him for those kinds of surgeries. He just wished he could be at home, instead of here. The only upside to this was possibly seeing Meredith and making sure she was okay. "I was paged," he asked as he walked into the pit. Meredith looked up as he walked in. She was standing next to a pregnant woman who looked like she had a pretty serious head contusion. "Over here," Meredith called to him as Addie stood next to her, the wand of an ultrasound in her hand. "What do we have?" he asked as he walked over, taking the chart from Meredith's hands. "Sheila Hanes, 38," Meredith stated, "25 weeks pregnant, involved in MVA. Blood pressure is 158 over 94. Several lacerations to her face, arms, and chest, as well as what might be a subdural hematoma." "We have to get her for an MRI," Derek sighed, looking into the patients eyes. "How's the baby look, Addie?� "Fetal heartrate is low, there's signs of beginning distress," Addison sighed. "If we don't get her blood pressure under control..." "We have to move fast on this one," Derek nodded. "Shepherd, call ahead to MRI to let them know we're coming and get an OR cleared." Meredith turned to leave, bumping into a man in a suit. "My wife," the man exclaiimed. "My wife. Sheila Hanes. They called me at work, they said she was in an accident on the freeway." "Oh...umm...yes, sir...we're just taking her for some tests...you need to sit down," Meredith sighed. "Tests? Is she okay? Where is she? I just...my wife...I need my wife." "Sir, you need to sit down and someone will come to talk to you very soon," Meredith nodded. "We won't have anything to tell you till we get her for some scans." "At least tell me if she's okay. Just tell me...is she okay? She...she was coming to meet me for lunch and...what happened?" "A man fell asleep while driving and veered out of control causing a pile up. Your wife is...we won't know exactly until we get her to these scans. She's alive and has two of the best doctors in the hospital working on her." "I need to see her," the man breathed her. "Can I see her? Is she awake?" "Sir, you can't see her right now. She's being taken up for an MRI. Dr. Shepherd will come find you when we know more." "Okay," the man breathed. "I'm um...Jacob. Jacob Hanes. She...take care of her. She was coming to see me for lunch." "Jacob, she's in good hands," Meredith smiled. "Someone will come find you the second we know anything." "Okay," Jacob nodded. "Will you...will you tell her I love her?" "I can do that," Meredith smiled. "Thank you," Jacob nodded. "Thank you." "Just doing my job," Meredith smiled. "I can...I know it's hard but just have a seat and we'll get back to you soon." "Dr. Shepherd," Addison sighed, "we need to move." "Of course," Meredith nodded. "Sit...and someone...someone will come." The man turned and left the area while Meredith came back over to the gurney. "The baby's distress is getting worse," Addison stated. "Meredith, I need you with her at all times. Watch the fetal heart rate." "Of course," Meredith nodded. "Page me if there are any changes," Addison said and then turned, walking away quickly. "How's the husband?" Derek asked. "He's a wreck," Meredith sighed. "She was on her way to eat lunch with him." "God," Derek shook his head. "I can't even imagine...nor do I want to." "Me neither," she sighed. "He just wanted to see her. He's a complete wreck and she's...she's going to make it right?" "We'll do everything we can," Derek nodded. "Let's move her. Keep a close eyes on that heart rate, Mer." She paused for a second, her hand moving her mouth and then nodded. "I am." "You okay?" "Yeah. Just...yeah. Let's go." "Yeah," Derek nodded. "I told her husband you would talk to him," she said once they had gotten the patient settled in the MRI. "I will," Derek nodded. "Hopefully have something good to tell him." "I just...she's pregnant," Meredith murmured. "She's pregnant and they were going to have a baby and now...she was going to eat lunch with him." "I know," Derek sighed. "It sucks." "It really does," she murmured, her hand holding her stomach as she took a deep breath. "You should go see someone." "Derek...� "Meredith...husband...worried...allowed." "Okay, but..." she paused and frowned as she stared at the screen. "Oh crap." "Crap," Derek echoed. "That's a huge bleed." "It is," he nodded. "Do we have an OR?" "OR-2," she stated, standing up quickly. "Thanks," Derek nodded. "I have to go talk to the husband quickly...can you prep her?" "Definitely," Meredith said as she walked out of the room and back to the patient. Derek sighed and headed toward the waiting room, running his palm over his face. This was crap. The woman had been driving to meet her husband for lunch and now her brain was bleeding. It wasn't going to be an easy case. And there was a baby. This was hell and it was the last thing he had wanted to deal with today. These kind of cases always made his stomach turn. There was a better than good chance the baby wouldn't make it through the surgery, and the woman...he wasn't sure. It was a huge bleed and it would be a long surgery, and he wans't sure if she could survive it. He hated these cases. He hated cases when he risked losing two patients, and thankfully they didn't happen often. But this was not a surgery he had wanted to do today, not something he needed to be stressing about when his own wife was so sick. "Mr. Hanes?" Derek asked, stepping into the waiting room. "Are you Dr. Shepherd?" a man in a suit turned quickly from where he was pacing. "Are you...the doctor or nurse or...the woman said you would talk to me about my wife. Are you Dr. Shepherd?" "That was Dr. Shepherd," Derek nodded. "And yes, I'm Dr. Shepherd...too." "Okay so...my wife? Sheila? Is she okay?" "She's....maybe we should sit down," Derek sighed. "Oh god," Mr. Hanes groaned. "She's not...she can't be dead. I kissed her this morning. We...she was coming to eat lunch with me. She wasn't feeling well and I said...she was coming to eat lunch with me." "She's not dead," Derek shook his head quickly. "She's going to need surgery...brain surgery. My...the other Dr. Shepherd is preping her right now." "Brain...brain surgery," Mr. Hanes stammered. "What's...what's the matter with her brain? The police...they said there was a car accident. What's...what's the matter with her brain?" "She hit her head in the accident and there's...quite a bit of bleeding in her brain." "Bleeding in her brain?" "Yes," Derek nodded. "We're going to go in and do all we can to stop the bleeding before it causes any permanent damage." "Permanent..." Mr. Hanes shook his head. "No. She can't have permanent damage. She was fine this morning. She...she was fine. And we were going to eat lunch together. Dr. Shepherd, you have to do everything you can. She's...I thought I was done. I thought I was done before her. I worked and...and then she came. And she's my everything." "That...I know how that feels. I understand and I can't even...god that would be hell," Derek breathed. "I'll do everything I can, I promise you that. I've done this procedure countless times." "She can't be just another patient. She's my Sheila. I can't...I can't live without her. We fought so hard...she's my life." "Yeah...yeah, I get that," Derek nodded. "You have no idea how much I get that." "Just...save her, please. I can't lose her," Mr. Hanes said as he buried his face in his hands. "I promise I will do everything I can," Derek sighed, patting the man's back gently. "Dr. Shepherd?" Meredith poked her head in, "she's ready." "Thank you, Dr. Shepherd," Derek nodded, fingering the ring on his finger for a second before standing up. "I'll keep you up to date on our progess." "Just...please save her," Mr. Hanes choked out. "Please." "We'll do everything we can," Derek nodded. "Addison doesn't think the baby is stable enough for the surgery," Meredith murmured to him as they walked quickly towards the scrub room. "If we don't do the surgery it won't matter how stable the baby is," Derek sighed. "She gave me a very weird speech about not giving up on something just because it seems impossible," Meredith frowned. "Oh," Derek frowned. "Well he gave me a speech on how she's apparently his Meredith." "What?" she sighed as she leaned against the sink for a minute, taking a deep breath. "He fought hard for her, she's his everything, she's his world, can't imagine life without her. Oh and he was done looking for someone and suddenly she was there. His Meredith." "Oh," she breathed, her hand moving up to her mouth before moving it down to wash her hands. "You okay?" "I'm fine, Derek," she murmured. "So you keep saying," he sighed. "I have to operate on her, I can't put it off till the baby is more stable. I can't." "I know," she nodded. "If you don't operate now, it won't matter about the baby. You can't just wait for that." "I can't," he shook his head. "And...the husband is going to want the operation first." "So you do the operation first," Meredith agreed. "The baby...if the baby survives, then that's good. But she's...you have to do the operation first." "I do," he nodded. "And the rest...we'll do everything we can to make sure the baby makes it." "I'm just going to be sitting there watching the baby," she nodded. "That's my job. Make sure the baby makes it." "How far along is she?" "Twenty-five weeks." "Okay," he nodded. "We can do this, Mer." "We can." "Because he might kill me if I lose her." "You won't lose her. She wouldn't...he's probably her Derek or whatever." "Her Derek or whatever?" he raised an eyebrow. Katie-Belle says: "You know..." Meredith bit her lip. "The guy she's with that makes her feel safe and...content. The guy who fought for her and got her and now she can't...you know, live without him." "Oh that guy," Derek smiled. "That guy," she smiled slightly. "So she'll fight," Derek nodded. "She'll fight." "Ready?" "Ready," she nodded as they walked into the OR "Good morning everyone," Derek smiled behind his mask. "It's a beautiful day to save lives, let's have some fun." He stared at the patient's brain, trying his hardest to ignore the fact that Meredith had asked for water about twenty minutes ago, trying to ignore the fact that every time he looked up it looked like she had her hand either over her stomach or over her mouth, trying his hardest to ignore everything but the bleed in front of him. The bleed that just seemed to keep getting worse. He had been at this for hours, and he wasn't sure he saw an end in sight. This was a mess. It was messier than he had even expected when he started and he needed to fix this. She was her husband's Meredith and there was no way he could do anything but fight his hardest. Because if it was Meredith he'd want the doctor doing the same thing. And there was something wrong with his Meredith, that he couldn't fix because he had no idea what it was. She was sick, that much was obvious. She was not acting like someone who wasn't sick. The nausea, the exhaustion...she was sick. He had no idea what she had, but his heart pounded with the thought that it could be something serious. Something he wouldn't be able to fix. But if some other doctor could, he would want that doctor to do everything in his power to save her. He shouldn't even be thinking about this. He was standing over an open brain of a woman that he had to save and he couldn't think about the fact his wife might need saving. He was fine. She was probably right, it was probably just an ulcer caused by stress and eventually it would clear up and she'd be his wife again, his cute giggly wife. It was probably nothing to worry about. "Baby's heartbeat is dropping, Dr. Shepherd," she reported from her chair for the tenth time. The baby's heart beat just continued to drop. He was working as fast as he could, but there was only so much he could do. "Crap," he murmured. "I haven't gotten the bleeding under control yet." "I don't know how much longer the baby can be..." she trailed off as she took a deep breath. "Do you have an estimate for how much longer, Dr. Shepherd?" "No clue," he sighed. "It should have been done already but this bleeding doesn't want to quit. Do you...are you okay here?" "I'm fine, Dr. Shepherd," she said firmly. "Okay," he nodded. "I'll...I have to get this out of control." "Pressure's dropping, Dr. Shepherd," a nurse reported quickly. "Crap," he groaned. "We need to end this now." "Dr. Shepherd," another nurse said to Meredith, "there's bleeding vaginally." "Crap," Meredith murmured, moving out of her chair. "Dr. Shepherd, I think we need Dr. Montgomery." "Page her," Derek sighed. "I just...I need to get this bleeder under control." "Someone page Dr. Montgomey....911...we're losing this baby fast," Meredith sighed. "Dr. Shepherd, pressure's still dropping," a nurse said urgently as the machines beeped around him. "Okay...I just...I think I nearly have it," Derek sighed. "Derek...I've lost the baby's heartbeat," Meredith said quickly. "And there's a lot of bleeding...where's Dr. Montgomery-Sloan?" "She's on her way," a nurse answered. "Crap," Meredith breathed. "Derek...are you...do you have it?" "I think...yes...it seems...I think we're good," he sighed. "What happened?" Addison demanded as she walked into the OR. "I lost the heart beat," Meredith murmured. "And there's bleeding, a lot of bleeding." "I told you the baby wasn't stable enough for this surgery," Addison sighed. "I told you. There was no way...the pressure on it was overwhelming." "And if I hadn't cut the mother would be dead right now," Derek groaned. "It was lose lose, Addie, you know that." "No. It's not...we can keep trying," she breathed. "We can keep trying." "You saw the scans, Addie, the mother was a goner if I hadn't gone in." "I'm going to have to see how much damage there is," Addison groaned. "We have to keep trying. She deserves her baby. She deserves it." "There's still no heart beat," Meredith pointed out. "It doesn't matter," Addison snapped. "Derek, close her up while I try to save the baby or at least her ability to have children." "That was the plan," Derek groaned, shooting a quick glance at Meredith. "Addison," Meredith breathed and then paused, putting her hand over her mouth. "Mer...you okay?" Derek asked again. "I'm fine," she nodded quickly, her hand still over her mouth. "Addison...the baby..." "I'm doing what I can," Addison sighed. "I knew this operation was a bad idea." "Okay, okay," Meredith nodded as she looked up at Derek quickly and then went to work with Addison while Derek closed. "Any change?" Derek asked as he motioned for an intern to bandaid the head. "No," Meredith murmured quietly. "We have to go tell the husband," Derek sighed. "Addison, come on," Meredith sighed. "There wasn't...we have to go tell the husband." "No, not yet," Addison shook her head. "Addison..." Meredith breathed. "Addison, it's done," Derek frowned. "I'm sorry we lost the baby but it's done." "It can't be done," Addison shook her head. "It can't be. It doesn't get to end like this.� "Addie, sometimes it does," Derek said gently. "Come on." "She deserves her baby. She wants this baby, she deserves it." "I know," Derek murmured. "But there's nothing you can do now. With the amount of distress the baby was in....there's nothing you can do." Addison paused for a moment, taking a deep shaky breath. "Fine. Will someone close please while we go tell her husband he just lost a baby?" "And kept his wife," Derek sighed. "Dr. Shepherd, are you coming with us?" "Of course," Meredith nodded quickly. "Let's go do this," Derek nodded, leading the two woman out of the room. "You okay, Addie?" "I'm perfectly all right, Derek," Addison murmured, tearing her gloves off. "You're not," Derek frowned. "I am," she nodded. "She didn't have to lose her baby, Derek." "There was nothing we could do, Addie." "There's always something. You don't just give up because it seems impossible. You can't just give up." "Is...is there something we should be talking about?" Meredith asked gently. "What do you mean?" Addison frowned. "I was talking about the patient, Dr. Shepherd." "Sure you were," Derek sighed. "Dr. Shepherd," Mr. Hanes said the second they walked into the waiting room. His suit coat was off and his tie was undone, his hair a mess. "Dr. Shepherd, how's Sheila? Is she all right?" "She made it through the surgery just fine," Derek smiled. "Barring any complications...she should be fine." "She's...oh thank god," Mr. Hanes breathed. "Oh thank...thank you. She's...I just kept sitting here wondering what I would do without her. She's everything to me. And...but she's okay? She's okay." "She's okay," Derek smiled. "It took a little longer than I hoped but everything looks fine. We'll know more when she wakes up." "But she will wake up?" Mr. Hanes smiled. "Thank you, Dr. Shepherd. Thank you so much. I...she's going to wake up and we'll go home and everything will be fine. We'll be us." "You're welcome," Derek sighed. "And..." "I just can't believe she's okay," Mr. Hanes breathed. "I was expecting the worse. We've been through so much and...she's okay though. She's perfectly okay. And we'll go home and...god, I can't believe she's okay." "Mr. Hanes," Addison cut in. "There was one complication." "A complication?" Mr. Hanes frowned. "Dr. Shepherd said Sheila was all right." "Sheila's fine," Addison frowned. "But...I'm afraid the baby didn't make it." "The baby?" Mr. Hanes nodded. "The baby. I...of course, the baby. I...we never wanted kids. Or, I didn't. And she didn't. We were happy with our lives, our lives were perfect. And then her friends started having babies and she wanted a baby and I couldn't...what kind of bastard doesn't want children with his own wife?" "Oh," Derek frowned, looking quickly at Meredith. "You...you didn't want the baby?" "No," Mr. Hanes shook his head. "I couldn't tell her though. She was so happy to be pregnant and...I couldn't tell her. I couldn't tell her I didn't want kids. That I didn't want kids screwing up what we had. It was so incredibly perfect. But I thought...you know, I was being a selfish bastard." "Yeah, I get that," Derek nodded. "So the baby..." Mr. Hanes said as Meredith looked quickly at Derek, a frown on her face. "The baby was in too much distress to survive the surgery," Addison sighed. "Oh," Mr. Hanes breathed. "Oh." "We're very sorry," Meredith murmured. "Oh," Mr. Hanes repeated. "The baby...was it...do you know..Sheila knew. She found out if it was a boy or a girl. I didn't really...was it a boy or a girl?" "It was a girl," Addison frowned. "A girl," Mr. Hanes took a deep breath. "Okay." "Are you okay?" Derek asked. "Do you need to sit down? Water?" "I...I don't know," Mr. Hanes murmured. "I had...I was going to have a daughter." "I'm going to have to do more tests, but you should be able to try again," Addison murmured. "Try again," the man said distractedly. "When can I see her? When can I see Sheila?" "She's in recovery right now and with brain surgery...it will be a couple of hours," Derek sighed. "Can I...can I at least see her?" "Yeah," Derek sighed. "You can." "I just have to see her," he nodded. "I have to make sure she's still here. Thank you, Doctors." "You're welcome," Derek nodded. "And I understand...the seeing her...I get it. A nurse will show you the way. I'll come and check on her but if you have any questions just get a nurse to page me." "Thank you," Mr. Hanes repeated as Derek, Meredith, and Addison turned, walking away. "He didn't even want the baby," Addison frowned. "He didn't," Meredith sighed. "He...he didn't want a baby. Some people don't want babies." "Yeah," Derek nodded. "He was happy with what he had." "Which...I mean, it makes sense," Meredith murmured. "Being happy with what you have. That's good." "It is good," Derek smiled. "It was a baby," Addison said firmly. "A baby that...he didn't even want it. He got to have a baby and he didn't want it." "Not everyone does," Derek shrugged. "Until they can't," Addison said after a moment. "Until...what?" Derek frowned. "Nothing," Addison shook her head. "I'm meeting Mark for lunch. I'll see you two later." She turned and walked quickly away. "That was weird," Derek sighed. "Very," Meredith agreed, grabbing his arm to stop him as she leaned against the wall, taking a deep breath. "Mer, you have to get this checked out," he sighed. "I...give it another few days," she murmured. "It gets better sometimes." "Fine. Another few days and if you're still like this, we're getting you looked at. I refuse to be in Mr. Hanes's position." "You won't be," she smiled slightly. "You don't know that," he frowned, pulling her into an on call room. "I can't wait in a waiting room while someone else tries to save your life." "Derek...it's nausea. With a little bit of dizzyness. You're not going to have to wait in a waiting room while someone else tries to save my life." "Mer...we have no idea what's wrong with you. Do you have any idea how terrifying that is to me?" "I know. But it's...it's nothing." "Mer...you don't know that. And I can't... I can't lose you." "You're not going to lose me," she shook her head as she fell onto the bed, her hand moving to her lower back as she rubbed. "Really?" he asked, sitting down beside her and pushing her hands out of the way as he rubbed her back. "Because you know exactly what's wrong with you?" "No. But it's not serious. I would know if it were serious." "How would you know that?" "Because I'm a doctor, Derek," Meredith snapped. "And doctors can't self diagnose." "I could. And I'm telling you, it's not serious. It's an ulcer. Or just some stress-related something. Because I've been stressed. I've been completely stressed for the last two months and...it's stress. That's all it is. It's stress. Stress messes with the immune system and that's what's going on. The stress messed with my immune system." "What if it's something worse, Mer?" he asked quietly. "Derek, seriously, drop it." "No, Mer. I'm not. What if...we have no idea what's wrong with you. Have you not even thought of it?" "No," she shook her head. "I've been too busy being a resident. I've been too busy raising a ten year old who has friend drama and has a crush on a boy in her class. And I've been busy worrying about Mark and Addie because something is going on there and I have no idea what. And I've been busy worrying about us. Because we don't talk anymore. We're becoming that couple that doesn't talk." "We need to talk," he sighed. "Maybe...talking might help you feel better." "About the thing?" she breathed. "Yeah, about the thing." "Okay." "I can't...I have post ops and work but...we need to talk. And we can't...I hate this. We can't keep doing this. No I don't know. No putting it off till later. Really talk." "No more avoiding," she shrugged slightly as she moved to lay down on the bed. "No more avoiding," he nodded. "Because this is killing us." "It can't...we're...we're us." "I know we are," he smiled, shifting to lay down beside her. "But we've been kind of depressed us recently and I hate it." "Me too." "Hannah has that birthday party next weekend. If we don't find time before then...that's the day. We're talking." "Okay," she murmured. "Next weekend. Really talking." "Good," he nodded. "And hopefully that helps you feel better." "I hope so." "And if it doesn't...we're going to the doctors." "We are doctors," she giggled quietly, wrapping her arms around him. "Other doctors, goof," he laughed softly, drawing her up against him. "Fine, other doctors." "Thank you," he breathed. "Just taking care of my everything." "I love you, Derek Shepherd," she murmured as her eyes began to close, her hand moving from around his waist to her stomach. "I love you too, Meredith Shepherd," he whispered, his hands gently stroking her back as he cuddled close to her. loves been a long time coming didn't know i was lost til you found me


LOVE IS IN EVERYTHING - Part 3 · GA FAN FICS