Viewing Single Post From: LOVE IS IN EVERYTHING

Viewing Single Post From: LOVE IS IN EVERYTHING - Part 3
oncetherewasaway	Dec 4 2007, 10:51 PM
McEditor Posts: 1,625 Group: .Grey Girls. Member #23 Joined: October 25, 2006	"December 23rd." "Two days before Christmas," Meredith groaned. "Great." "That's just an estimation, Mer," Addison laughed. "And there's always early and late arrivals." "He better not be late," Meredith said firmly. "Can we...heartbeat?" "Of course," Addison nodded. "Let me just get a few pictures and we can get right on that." "Pictures are good," Meredith breathed, turning to look at Derek, whose eyes were filled with tears. "Derek?" "Hmm?" he murmured. "You okay?" "Yeah...I'm...yeah, I'm good." "Okay," she murmured, squeezing his hand tightly. He was quiet. Which was unlike Derek. But he was definitely quiet. "Okay, pictures are done," Addison nodded. "Ready for the heartbeat?" "Definitely," Meredith nodded eagerly. "I know you've both heard them before so I don't need to do any long spiel," Addison smiled, as she flipped the switch on the machine. It took the smallest of seconds, but suddenly, the room was filled with a soft whoosing noise, a noise that was clearly a heart beating. "Oh..." Meredith gasped as tears filled her eyes. "Oh...that's...that's his heartbeat?" "That's his heartbeat," Addison nodded. "Oh...wow..." Meredith murmured. "Oh wow...that's...wow." "Wow is right," Addison sighed. "My nephew has a very strong heartbeat." "He does?" Meredith grinned, reaching up with her free hand to wipe her eyes. "I mean...it sounds strong. It is strong?" "It is," Addison nodded. "Blueberry seems perfectly healthy." "Good," Meredith murmured, turning to look at Derek. "Der?" "Hmmm..." he breathed, staring at the monitor, his eyes full of tears. "You have to...I mean, it's Blueberry and Addison says...it's strong," she whispered. "Strong," he whispered. "I...my son, he has a strong heart beat, my son has a strong heart beat. Or my daughter, maybe my daughter." "He does. Or she does," Meredith nodded. "And that's...I mean, that's good. Right, Addison? That's good. That's really good and that means...I mean, can we still...can things still go bad?" "They can always go bad," Addison sighed. "But right now everything seems fine. You're good to tell people and good to start really planning. You and Blueberry are in great shape." "We're in great shape," Meredith murmured to Derek. "Great shape," Derek nodded, letting a tear slip over his cheek. "That's good, that's really really good." "Derek..." Meredith murmured, squeezing his hand as they listened to the baby's heartbeat, the whoosing noise still filling the room. "That's...I...oh god..." he breathed. "Der?" "I...I think I need to sit down," he murmured, letting her hand drop and heading toward the couch along the side of the wall. "You okay, Derek?" Addison turned to look at his pale features. "I'm good, of course I'm good," he nodded, looking at the ground. "My son has a strong heart beat and everything looks good. Of course...why wouldn't I be good? This is all...good. I'm really good." "Are you sure?" Addison frowned. "You look pale." "Not pale. I'm good....my son has a heart beat. That's...amazing. I'm good." "Der?" Meredith frowned. "Are you sure..." "Of...course," Derek murmured, his breath catching on the words as his shoulders began to shake. "I just...minute, I need a minute." "Addison, turn it off," Meredith murmured. "Of course," Addison nodded, flipping it off and heading toward the door. "I'll give you two a few minutes." "Derek?" Meredith whispered, climbing off the table to sit down next to him on the couch. "I'm okay," he whispered, his shoulders still shaking. "My son is...or my daughter but you keep saying son so I think you're right because you would know and that's...amazing. Son. That's healthy. That I almost didn't want. I'm fine." "You're starting to sound like me," she giggled slightly. "I don't sound like you. You're not breaking down." "You're...you're breaking down? "I think. Maybe." "Well, you sound like me when I'm breaking down," she murmured, running a hand over his back. "Did you hear that, Mer? Did you hear him? Did you see him? You saw him right. You heard that, that noise that was all over the room that was him or her that's part of us. Us. Me and you and....you heard it?" "I heard it," she said softly. "How...how are you not crying? That was...that was so amazing. He's....real. He's really there, you have a baby, a tiny life and now....I nearly didn't want it," he whispered. "I nearly said no, I really planned on saying no. I didn't want him, I didn't want my Blueberry." "You were really going to say no?" Meredith whispered, tears pooling in her eyes. "I don't know. Sometimes....it seemed easier. Sometimes I just kept thinking it would be easier and I didn't know what to do. I was so damn confused." "Oh," she murmured, squeezing his hand. "I...I...don't know why I even had to think. We're having a baby. Why...why did I not want it?" "Because it was scary." "But it's ours." "He's ours," she whispered, a tear slipping down her cheek. "If I had...it would have killed us. Getting rid of this baby would have killed us." "Der..." "It would have. How...how would we do that to our baby and still been us?" "I don't know," she murmured. "But you have to breathe before you pass out." "Remember...do you remember when you told me you couldn't be with me because you didn't want to be a mother?" "I remember." "I never...I didn't we'd ever get here." "Me neither," she admitted quietly. "I didn't want to get here." "Me neither...and now...I can't stop crying. Why can't I stop crying?" "I was the same way after my last appointment," she assured him. "I threw up though." "I wasn't there.” "You weren't there." "How was I not there? How did that even happen?" "We were thinking, Derek." "I should have had to think." "We both had to think." "I know," he nodded, sucking in a shakey breath. "I know." "Breathe," she whispered in his ear, her cheeks soaked with tears. "Trying to." "I can't carry you if you pass out." "No you can't." "It's okay, Derek," she sighed. "I mean...it's not. But it is. Now. Now it's okay. You didn't want him and we almost...but now we want him and he has a heartbeat, a really, really strong heartbeat." "He does," Derek breathed. "He would...he's ours." "He's ours." "He's going to be so stubborn." "Why do you say that?" she giggled. "Oh I don't know...maybe because I know who he has as parents." "True," she laughed, squeezing his hand. "I'll be okay," he murmured. "You still look pale," she sighed, moving her fingers up to the curls at the nape of his neck. "Hmm," he frowned. "Still feel a little shaky but better." "Okay," she murmured. "That was our Blueberry, Derek." "It was," Derek smiled widely. "Wow," she breathed, her hand falling to the slight curve of her stomach. "Wow," he echoed his hand going to join hers. No wonder your heart feels it's flying Your head feels it's spinning Each happy ending's a brand new beginning Disclaimer: Alicia and Katie really wish they owned Grey's Anatomy as it means they would understand why Paddy thinks fans are going to be surprised by Meredith and Derek. As it is...he's just confused them some more. Which he likes doing. sigh Derek smiled as he ran his hand over his wife's definite belly, grinning as his hand curved to rest just above where her boxer shorts started. It was their first Saturday off in weeks, and he couldn't quite imagine anything better than still dozing with her at eight o'clock, his hand resting on her stomach. He couldn't believe how much it had grown in the past six weeks. It wasn't huge yet. She could pull on a slightly baggy shirt with her newer jeans and it completely disappeared. She was wearing a bigger size of scrubs at work and even though she looked softer, you couldn't see the baby. It only showed when she was like this, just the two of them and she had nothing to hide it from. Which he loved. He loved looking at her tiny perfect belly. It was amazing. Everything about this was amazing. And while they were still keeping relatively quiet about the pregnancy, even as rumors flew all over the hospital about a possible Shepherd baby, he loved that it was becoming completely obvious that she was pregnant. He imagined in a couple weeks, she would really pop, and they'd have to go out and buy her maternity clothes. And they'd have to start really telling people. His family still didn't know. Which was no fault of theirs, they had been busy with work and hadn't gotten around to a Shepherd family dinner. And her family didn't know. Work didn't know. No one actually knew she was pregnant. And they'd have to tell everyone soon. They had to come clean about everything that was happening. But he loved that this was their secret. Well, their secret and Addison's, Mark's, Lexie's, Alex's, and George's. But mostly, he felt like he had something completely precious. He was the only one who really touched her belly. He was the only one who knew that Blueberry had taken to making Mer crave pasta at three o'clock in the morning, especially after a hard day. And he loved that he was the only one who knew those things. He couldn't wait till she was bigger and everyone knew. Because it would still be their's, just entirely their's. The baby, Blueberry who was definitely now bigger than a blueberry, would be something they didn't really have to share with anyone but they could show it off. And she would look so beautiful with a big belly, She would look perfect. He couldn't wait for the months to pass. "Hmmm," she breathed as she kicked the blankets off, curling her back closer to him as her hand rubbed her stomach. She had been getting hot a lot. He wasn't entirely sure why. He just knew that every night, she got up and changed from her sweats into shorts and a tank top. Which was fine with him. The sweats covered the perfect bump. "Morning," he murmured. "Warm?" "It's boiling in here," she sighed. "Is this a normal part of pregnancy?" "Think so," she mumbled. "We should make sure," he sighed. "Not that I mind the taking off clothes bit." "You're an ass," she giggled slightly. "And I'm fine, Der. Addison said I was fine last week." "I know," he sighed. "I just worry." "You worry too much," she nodded, turning to cuddle into his chest. "Possibly," he murmured. "But you're carrying my Blueberry." "Hmmm," she sighed. "Guess what's happening to Blueberry this week." "What?" "He can hear us." "Seriously?" Derek grinned. "Yeah," she nodded. "The book says he can hear us." "So I can start talking to your stomach non stop?" "Maybe not non stop..." "Well it would be awkward at work." "Just a little." "So I'll stop sometimes." "Good idea," she breathed as her eyes fell shut again. "Day off," he reminded her, hugging her close to him. "Thank God." "I know," he sighed. "When was the last time we had a day off?" she murmured. "I honestly don't remember," he groaned. "At least not a day off together." "Days off are definitely good." "Definitely," he agreed. "Can we stay here all day?" "Please." "Good." "Good," she echoed, already sounding half asleep again. He ran his hand up and down her belly, smiling at the way the tank top rode up slightly, creating a nice glimpse of her slightly stretched skin. He definitely didn't want to move. Ever. This was perfect. He kissed the top of her head and settled back to grab another few minutes at least, frowning when he heard the door creak open. Hannah, it had to be Hannah. She rarely came in in the mornings anymore. Usually they woke up to find her sitting in front of the tv, a bowl of cereal on her lap and Eskimo curled up beside her. But some mornings she would still sneak in, almost to claim her old spot that she had given up long ago. He liked those mornings, he loved those morning. Just not so much today. He opened one eye to see her dark curly head ducking down quickly at the foot of the bed, Eskimo apparently trying to be equally sneaky next to her. She played these games somehow, pretended they couldn't see her until she jumped out at the last minute, giggling loudly. It was cute, it was adorable, he just wanted Meredith to get a little bit of rest this morning. "Hannah," he called quietly to the door. "Shhh..." "You weren't supposed to see me," she pouted, popping out from behind the footboard. "But I did, and Mom's still asleep so be quiet," he murmured. "Eskimo and I are being quiet," she nodded, climbing onto the bed. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. "Morning, Daddy." "Morning Hannah Banana," he smiled, kissing her cheek in return. "You have to shave," she giggled. "Do I?" "Yeah," she nodded. "You're scratchy." "Well...you did climb into my bed before I had time to shave," he pointed out. "It's not my fault you and Mom are lazy bums." "We are not lazy bums," he laughed. "We have a day off." "You're still a lazy bum." "You can't call your dad a lazy bum." "Yeah I can." "No, you can't." "Yes I can." "No you can't." "Der," Meredith groaned from next to him, her face going deeper into the pillow. "Sorry, Mer," Derek murmured. "Quieter, Han. Or another room." "Sorry," Hannah sighed as she climbed over him to kiss Meredith's cheek. "Morning, Mom." "Morning, Han," Meredith whispered, keeping her eyes closed. "We'll be quiet," Hannah promised as she turned to climb back over him, pausing to climb over Meredith's legs and stare at her stomach for a second before looking up at Derek. "Daddy?" "Yeah?" "I know Mom said to never, ever say when girls get fat but um...Mom's getting really fat." "Oh," Derek breathed. Crap. Somehow they hadn't told her. Not on purpose, they hadn't intended not to tell Hannah. But they had been busy and Hannah had enough friends to never be home. She didn't know. "She ummm is." "Her shirt doesn't fit," Hannah frowned. "No it doesn't," he sighed. Now would be good. It was the three of them. No one had anywhere to go and Hannah was asking questions. Definitely a good time. "She doesn't eat a lot though," Hannah sighed. "Except pasta. Mom really really likes pasta." "She does," he nodded. "Mer?" "Hmm?" "Hannah wants to know why your shirt doesn't fit and you eat a lot of pasta." "And why it doesn't look like really fat," Hannah bit her lip, lying down right next to Meredith's stomach as she examined it. "Only like she swallowed something kind of big." "Mer....should we...I think it's probably time," Derek murmured softly. "Probably," she sighed, finally opening her eyes as she moved to sit up, rubbing her hand over her belly as Hannah also sat up, crossing her legs. "Hannah, we have something really big and important to talk to you about," Derek smiled softly. "Okay," Hannah nodded slowly, still examining Meredith's stomach. "I know we've never talked about this..." Derek sighed. "But have you ever wanted a little brother or sister?" "Yeah," Hannah grinned. "Always." "Really?" Derek frowned. "Yeah," she nodded eagerly. "I ask Santa every year but Uncle Monkey says Santa can't bring babies." "You never said anything to me," he frowned. "I know," she nodded again. "I wanted it to be a surprise." "Oh," Derek nodded. "So...umm....do you still want one?" "Yeah," Hannah smiled. "I guess." "Well...umm...Mom's pregnant," he murmured, silently cursing at himself. It wasn't supposed to come out that way. "Pregnant?" Hannah frowned for a second and then her eyes went wide. "Like having a baby?" "Like having a baby," Meredith nodded. "Right now?" "Well I'm not having the baby right now," Meredith giggled softly. "It's growing in my belly and I'll have it in a few months." "In your stomach?" Hannah eyed Meredith's stomach. "How'd it get there?" "Well umm...that's where babies are made," Derek explained. "And it's not your stomach, just...that general area. That's why Mom's stomach is bigger." "Okay but..." Hannah frowned. "How is the baby made?" "Oh umm..." Derek cleared his throat. "That's complicated." "Make it easy," Hannah shrugged. "Okay," he nodded slowly, shooting a look at Meredith. They had discussed this. They had both agreed that Hannah was old enough to know the basics. He just wasn't sure how to tell her them. "It's...um...you know how boys and girls have different parts?" "Yep," Hannah nodded. "Boys have penises and girls don't. I know that." "Okay good," he nodded. "Well...that's part of baby making. They um...babies are made when two people, who are grown up and married and love each other a lot, have sex." "Sex?" Hannah frowned. "Yes," Derek nodded. "It's umm...a man puts his penis inside the woman's...vagina." "Derek, you're scaring her," Meredith shook her head, watching as Hannah's eyes went very, very wide. "Well feel free to step in at anytime," he sighed. "Han," Meredith sighed, pulling her daughter close to her, "babies are made when two people who love each other very much they um...they do grown up things. Really grown up things that I'll tell you about when you're older." "You will?" Hannah asked. "Yeah," Meredith sighed. "But only when you're older. Like...fourteen or something. Because those grown up things...you have to be even bigger to do them than using the coffee pot." "That's really old," Hannah nodded. "It is," Meredith breathed. "But um...when the grown ups are doing really really grown up things...well, um...the woman has an egg inside her. Well, she has lots of eggs. But there are eggs. And not actual eggs but they're called eggs." "If they're not eggs why are they called eggs?" "Because um...they're like eggs. But they're not eggs. They're not like the eggs you eat but they're eggs. And the daddy...he um...he has seed, kind of. It's kind of like seed. But it's not really seed it's...something else. But when the grown ups do really really grown up things, then sometimes the daddy's seed goes into the mom's egg and um...a baby starts to grow." "That's...confusing," Hannah breathed. "Yeah it is," Meredith bit her lip. "But you're going to be a big sister," Derek smiled, entirely changing the conversation. "I am," Hannah grinned. "So the baby's in Mom's stomach right now?' "It is," Meredith grinned. "Am I getting a brother or a sister?" Hannah asked. "We don't know yet," Derek shook his head. "When will you know?" "In a couple of months if Aunt Addie can get a good picture," Derek smiled. "But I think it's a brother," Meredith smiled. "So do I," Derek smiled widely. "A brother would be kind of cool," Hannah grinned. "When is he coming?" "Right before Christmas," Meredith grinned. "He's coming for Christmas?" Hannah jumped up. "That's when he's due," Derek nodded. "Santa's not bringing him, is he?" "No," Meredith giggled. "I'll have to go to the hospital and have him." "Ohhhh," Hannah nodded slowly. "Jenny's little brother is really mean." "Well I'm sure Blueberry won't be," Derek laughed. "Blueberry?" Hannah frowned. "That's not a name, Daddy." "It's his nickname because the first time we saw him he was the size of a blueberry," Derek explained. "That's really small," Hannah breathed. "Is he big now?" "He's a bit bigger," Meredith nodded. "It's why my belly is getting bigger. The bigger he gets the bigger my belly will get." "How big will your belly get?" Hannah asked, scooting closer to her. "It's going to get pretty big," Meredith grinned. "Like a balloon." "Wow," Hannah breathed. "So my brother is in your tummy right now but he's really small?" "Yep, exactly," Meredith nodded. "Can he hear me?" "Maybe. He starts hearing us sometime this week so yes, maybe." "Hmmm," Hannah nodded, falling onto her stomach and putting her mouth right next to Meredith's stomach. "Hi, baby brother. I'm Hannah and I'm your big sister. Like, really big. I'm ten which means when you're here I'll be the boss. But I'll be a nice boss. Mom and Daddy call you Blueberry but that's kind of a stupid name so I'll come up with something a lot cooler." "We like Blueberry," Derek protested softly, blinking back some tears as he reached to rest his hand on Meredith's stomach. "It's stupid," Hannah rolled her eyes. "And baby brother, I'm really excited for you to get here. So you should get big really fast and you can come for Christmas. Because Christmas is the bestest." "He'll be here for Christmas," Meredith smiled, her own eyes misty. "Or at least around Christmas." "Good," Hannah grinned. "I'll come back and talk to you later, baby brother. But Scooby comes on soon. Scooby is a dog and he hunts ghosts with people. Scooby and Shaggy are the funniest though. So when I'm done watching Scooby, I'll come and talk to you again." "He'd like that," Derek breathed. "Okay," Hannah nodded, pressing a quick kiss to Meredith's tank-top covered stomach. "Talk to you later." She jumped off the bed and skipped out of the room, Eskimo following closely behind her. "She took that...amazingly well," Derek whispered, brushing quickly at his eyes. "She really did," Meredith breathed, rubbing her hand over her stomach as a tear slipped from the corner of her eye. "And I don't care what she says, we're sticking with Blueberry," he murmured, his hand stroking her stomach gently. "We are," she nodded, taking his hand and squeezing it gently. "Want to go back to sleeping?" "Definitely," she smiled widely. "We have an hour until Scooby is over." "We do," he smiled. "So sleep it is. As the rest of the day will be spent having people talk to your stomach." "Wonderful," she rolled her eyes as she settled herself back into his arms, pulling his arms around her to rest on her stomach. "Love you," he murmured. "Love you too," she whispered. time falls away but these small hours these little wonders still remain


LOVE IS IN EVERYTHING - Part 3 · GA FAN FICS