Viewing Single Post From: I DO

Viewing Single Post From: I DO - Part 2
oncetherewasaway	Dec 27 2007, 01:42 PM
McEditor Posts: 1,625 Group: .Grey Girls. Member #23 Joined: October 25, 2006	Disclaimer: If we owned the show we'd be on strike. Well strike really soonish. And that means we wouldn't be writing. Thank god we don't own the show. Derek had to fight the urge to grab the hand hanging beside his. This was wrong. This was entirely wrong and he hated it. This was their first fight, it was their first really big fight and he could already say with quite a bit of certainty that he hated fighting with her. He wanted to grab her hand and be normal again. He liked nomral. Actually when it came to Meredith he loved normal. But there wasn't anything normal about this. They hadn't said more than a few words to each other since the fight and she had cried herself to sleep for the past two nights. He hated it. He hated that she was crying. He hated that he could barely say anything to her. And he hated that he was working with her today and she was entirely silent next to him, not saying more than she had to. They had to fix this. They couldn't just keep living in this wierd situation that was somewhere between a fight and making up and included them saying each other's names a lot but not much else than that. He didn't want to apologize. He knew he was wrong. He knew bringing up her mother had been stupid. But he had been mad and he had a reason to be mad. She had put a surgery before Hannah. She had put a surgery that wasn't necessary before his daughter, and she hadn't even seemed all that worried about it. It entirely blew his mind. He had a damn good reason to be mad. And he didn't want to apologize when he had a damn good reason to be mad. Except, he had a feeling she was thinking the same kind of thoughts. And eventually someone had to give in because if not this would all fall apart. And he was mad but he didn't want that. He couldn't even thinking about it falling apart without a very tight knot tying somewhere in his lower stomach, leading to a very nauseous feeling. So eventually someone had to say sorry and they had to talk about all of this. This had to be fixed soonish. He just wasn't entirely sure how fix it right now. He snuck a glance at her, taking in her red puffy eyes, the frown on her face. She looked exhausted, she looked almost as bad as he felt and his chest tightened. He hated seeing her sad, he hated that she was hurting. But he had no idea how to fix this right now. He was still too damn mad to really think of a solution. "I'm going to need you to run tests on the patient in 4573 later," he sighed. Work, he could at least talk to her about work. "Okay," she murmured, writing the room number down on a pad of paper as she nodded. "And check on Mr. Wilkins to see how he's feeling after his surgery yesterday." "He spiked a fever last night, but we were able to bring it down," Meredith sighed. "Good," Derek nodded. "Good," she echoed quietly. "Anything else, Dr. Shepherd?" "That's good for now, Dr. Grey," he nodded, hating the titles. They usually used them at work but today they hurt just a little. He sighed as he watched the chief walk up. "Dr. Webber," he greeted. "Dr. Shepherd," the Chief nodded, "Dr. Grey." "Chief," Meredith nodded. "Have you seen the board, Shep?" Webber sighed. "No," Derek smiled lightly. "Why?" "It's a mess," Webber groaned. "This hospital is going to hell." "Wish I could help you, Chief," Derek laughed harshly as he shook his head. "Of course, I can only imagine it will get worse once I retire," Webber eyed Derek. "With the idiots who want the job, I can't imagine it staying afloat." "Yeah, so I hear," Derek nodded. "Of course, if the best candidate would step forward and accept the job, I could retire in peace." "Yeah, I know," Derek rolled his eyes. "And now I have to go. See you later, Dr. Webber...Dr...Meredith." "Dr. Shep---Derek," Meredith whispered, watching as Derek walked away. "Why won't he just take the job already?" Webber asked her. "What?" she frowned, turning to look at him. "I've been offering it to him for ages," Webber shrugged. "He's the best man in the hospital for it, no question. And yet everytime I ask, hint or beg he turns me down flat. I don't think he's even given it serious consideration." "You...you offered Derek Chief?" Meredith stammered. "Derek. You offered Derek Chief of Surgery?" "Of course," Chief nodded. "Could you think of someone better for the job?" "I...no," Meredith shook her head. "No. I just...he's never said anything and...he said no?" "He did," Chief sighed. "Hannah." "Hannah?" Meredith sighed. "The man has turned down so many amazing opportunities for that little girl and chief is just going to be another one." "What do you mean?" she frowned. "He's...what do you mean he's turned down opportunities? He's one of the best." "He is. But he could be a legend. There's a difference between legend and one of the best. He had the ability to be like your mother, Meredith. And before Hannah he had the drive too." "Wait...but he's...he's published. He's one of the best. People know him. I studied him in school. Which is...I don't understand." "He's an amazing surgeon, Meredith. He was born with an amazing natural skill and the brain to match. He publishes only enough to keep going...he does only enough to have his career established. The greatness comes by accident." "I really hope you don't tell him that," Meredith giggled slightly. "He already knows it. If he hadn't had Hannah, he'd be...one of the greats, no question." "But he's...how did Hannah change that?" she asked. "He does surgeries no one does. He's...he's Derek Shepherd." "He is," Webber nodded. "And he turned down some opportunities at other hospitals because Hannah's family is here. He won't go on conferences if they last too long or if they fall on the wrong days. He makes his schedule based on hers, and will pass up surgeries if they don't fit." "Derek...Derek had offers at other hospitals?" Meredith shook her head slowly. "I mean, it makes sense. He's Derek Shepherd. Which is basically...he's passed up surgeries?" "He passed up surgeries," Webber nodded. "He's passed up a lot. His career is a shadow of what it could have been." "But he's..." Meredith bit her lip. "I always thought...I mean, he's one of the best. I thought he had given it his best. I thought he was one of the best because he tried to be." "He's worked hard, don't get me wrong," Webber said quickly. "It's not some fluke and the man deserves the praise he gets. He's just made a lot more sacrifices than the average surgeon." "So he...let's say a surgery came up when he was suposed to be leaving," Meredith sighed. "Would he stay?" "Unless it was an emergency and no one else could do it...no, he'd go home." "Even when he was a resident?" "The second Hannah was born." "Oh," she breathed. "Does he...I mean, do you think he knows? Do you think he knows he could have been...do you think he knows?" "You've been in a relationship with him for a year...do you think he knows how good he is?" "Well...yeah," she giggled. "He knows that, but does he know he could have been really great? Does he know he could have been...like my mom?" "I honestly don't know. He doesn't care." "But he did once?" "He did once," Webber nodded. "When I first met him...he planned on being just like your mom." "And then Hannah..." "And then Hannah came along and all of his priorities flipped," Webber sighed. "I was hoping with you in the picture he'd be willing to sink more into his career again but I guess I was wrong." "Yeah," she sighed, "I guess...he's still turning down Chief?" "He won't even talk about it." "Oh," she bit her lip. "I should...patients." "Of course," Webber nodded. "Bye, Dr. Webber," she nodded, walking away from him. She hadn't...she had always assumed Derek was the best. He was. He was the best. He was one of the best neurosurgeons in the country. He was published, she studied him in med school. But she had always assumed that was his best. She had always thought he had found a way to balance having the perfect career with having a kid. He didn't talk about sacrifices, he didn't talk about those big life changing things he had obviously done. He acted like his life was exactly the way he had planned it and that he was the best at everything. She figured in his head he was the best at everything. Except for he wasn't. He wasn't the best at his job. He was...for his level of skill he was apparently a no one. He was a blip when he could have been her mom. Which meant things. It meant big huge things. Because he wasn't trying his best, he wasn't working at his highest level. He wasn't even giving the job his all. He was one of the best neurosurgeons in the country and he wasn't giving the job his all. She wasn't even sure how he lived with himself just giving the bare minimum. He was the best, he liked being the best, but he wasn't trying to be the best. Except for at home. He tried to be the best dad. He let everything else in his life slip away so he could be there for Hannah, so Hannah never felt like she was alone or that she wasn't wanted or any of the feelings that had been all to familiar to Meredith when she had been growing up. He had given up being the best at everything else because of Hannah. Hannah had completely and totally changed his life. He hadn't been planning on her, he hadn't even expected her. But apparently, the second she was born, his life changed. He stopped caring about being a legend and started caring about his daughter. He almost had nervous break downs, but it was all about Hannah. She wasn't even sure how a surgeon did that, give up the glory of the job for a kid. And now she had to talk to him, she had to apologize. It made sense why he had been mad, why he had yelled at her. He didn't get it. His mom had mentioned it and she probably knew him well enough to assume but he didn't get it. He didn't get how anyone would chose a really cool surgery instead of a night watching Hannah practice ballet. Derek didn't get it at all. Disclaimer: Communication. It's beautiful. It's amazing. And we think that maybe just maybe Meredith and Derek are headed toward it on the show. Maybe. If we owned the show they would definitely be. Meredith Grey had a speech. A huge big speech in her head. There was a speech and it was big and she had been planning it all day. All day while she had worked with him, she had been planning a big huge speech. It was a great speech, it was an amazing speech. And she had even practiced it in the car on the way home. Except now that she was home, she couldn't actually remember the amazing speech. It would come to her, it had to come to her. She'd find him and she'd look at him and all of the words she had planned would come spilling out. It would be fine. And then he'd give her that look, that amazing look and they could go back to being them instead of this weird pseudo couple who apparently had forgotten how to talk. She just had to remember how the amazing speech went. She knew there was an apology in there. She knew that. She knew she was going to find him and say sorry. But beyond that...she couldn't remember it. She really and completely couldn't remember the amazing speech because she had no idea if an amazing speech would even work at this point. Mrs. Shepherd said they'd be fine, but Derek still was barely talking to her. So an amazing speech might be too late. The house was quiet, the house was strangely quiet and she felt her heart beat a little faster. His car was here, he had to be somewhere. He just didn't pick up with Hannah and leave his dream home and his dream land because of a fight. He was just...being quiet. And somehow so was Hannah. Which was fine, quiet was good. She could live with quiet. She just had to find him. She sighed as she slipped on one of his big sweaters and then went and stood on the balcony overlooking the water, trying to remember the speech. Because the speech was kind of a big deal. The speech could fix all of this. Well, it could fix all of this if she ever found him. And then she saw him, sitting on the edge of the dock, a beer in his hands. He was thinking, he always went there to think. And she figured she should probably get down there and apologize to him before he had too much time to think. Big things happened when he took time to really think and it wasn't always good. She should probably go join him and say she was sorry. And the speech. Whatever it had been, he'd like the speech. She ran downstairs and out the back door, slowing to a gentle walk as she came up behind him. The words of the speech were all kind of jumbled up in her head and she had a feeling she was screwed when it came to the speech. Really really screwed because she definitely couldn't remember it. She sat down next to him, feeling him look over at her and then look back out at the water. He looked like him. Like a really moody, filled with thought him. "I�m sorry," she blurted out. "You're sorry?" he asked quietly. "I'm sorry," she nodded. "But you can't talk. You can't talk yet. I mean, you can if you want. I'm not telling you not to talk...it's just, I think I remember the speech and if you talk and say things, they might be really, really bad things and I won't be able to remember the speech so you just...you can't talk. Right now. After I'm done, you can talk. And you can say things if you want." "You have a speech?" he asked, a small smile tugging at his lips. "I have a speech. Or I had a speech. I kind of still have a speech. It's a mess and my head is...but you can't talk. No talking. Okay?" "Okay," he nodded slowly. "Okay," she took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. Which I already said. Twice. But I am sorry. I'm really, really sorry that I did what I did. It was wrong and I wasn't thinking because I was tired and I was being...I was being a resident. I was being a resident instead of a parenty like person and maybe that was a mistake. It was probably a mistake. Or definitely a mistake." "Okay," he nodded. "But I wasn't...you don't get to compare me to my mom just because I made a mistake. I know you don't get it. I know you made sacrifices and choices and they worked for you. I know that. They worked for you which is really, really great. But, Derek, my mom...if I were my mom, I wouldn't be here. Ever. I wouldn't do hair or girl's nights or stick around for a seven year old's birthday party. So you don't get to compare me to my mom." "I know," he sighed. "I was mad and...I didn't mean it. I'm sorry." "Because I'm new to this. I'm really, really new to this. I don't know how to be a parenty like person. I don't know how to do that and I don't...I don't know how to give up things like you did. And if that makes me a bad person, fine. But I'm learning. I'm learning which is kind of a big deal because a year ago I didn't want to learn. But now I'm learning. And I'm going to make mistakes." "I know you are," he nodded, smiling slightly. "So I know. You have a right to be mad at me. I know that. I fucked up and it was big and stupid and I...but it was a surgery. And I know you don't get that because you're great without even really trying. But I'm not. I have to work. I have things to prove and I know that's not an excuse. I know my shifts are to figure out things and decide what I want to do. But you can't hate me." "Mer...I was mad. I could never hate you." "But my point is...I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry and I'll try not to do it again. I really will. I'll try not to miss things because I know it sucks. I know it sucks when someone doesn't show up to things. I know that. So I'll try not to do it again. But you can't hate me or break up with me or...or whatever it is you're thinking about doing because I made a mistake. Because I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry." "You think I was thinking of breaking up with you?" he frowned. "Worst case scenario," she bit her lip. "I was sitting out here trying to figure how to suck it up and apologize first as the fighting with you thing sucks." "Oh." The word came out as a half-giggle, half-sob. "Oh. Okay." "I'm sorry I brought up your mom," he sighed. "You're right that I wasn't there and I have no idea what it was like. And you're not her, I know that. I was...angry but that's not an excuse. I'm sorry." "It's okay," she whispered. "No, it's not. It was a low blow. I'm sorry." "It was a low blow," she nodded. "I know you don't get it. I know you did things but she really did...she didn't know how to do this. And she was alone. And she...she did the best she could. And maybe the best wasn't good enough but it was...it was the best she could. And I'm doing the best I can." "I know you are," he nodded. "And we're not talking about what Ellis could or could not have done, that will just lead to more fighting. I blame my over protective Meredith streak." "Okay," she nodded, smiling slightly. �Okay.� "I hate what she did to you, Mer," he murmured. �I know you do.� "When I had Hannah...I knew I could have gone that route. People kept telling me to. I could have hired a nanny and poured myself into my job. I knew that was an option. But Hannah was mine...that's all that mattered." �I know,� she whispered, reaching for his beer and taking a sip. "I promised myself Hannah would never come second in my life. And she can't come second in yours, Mer." �She doesn�t, Derek,� she said quickly. �I...she doesn�t. I know it seems like she does because I scrubbed in on an amazing surgery instead of going to a ballet practice but...I mean, I...she doesn�t.� "I know that," he nodded quickly. "You're amazing with her and...I know you hate the word but you're a great mom." �I�m trying to be,� she murmured. "I know you are. And you're doing...an amazing job. I expected this to be harder on you." �It�s not easy, Derek. There are days...I mean, sometimes I want to curl up in a ball and cry. It�s not easy. And it�s not fair for you to think I can give up everything you gave up in just a year. Especially when...I mean, if things went bed and...you can�t think it�s easy.� "It's not," he nodded. "If you need to curl up in a ball and cry sometimes...I get it. And I get mistakes...even though I got mad, I get that sometimes you're going to make mistakes. You're allowed to." �Okay,� she nodded slowly. "I overreacted," he sighed. "I had a right to be mad, Mer. But I should have...tried to listen to you." �I should have called. Or just not accepted the surgery or...I don�t know.� "Mer..." Derek sighed before clearing his throat. "I sacrificed a lot to become the kind of dad I am. I know that. And you...I can't expect you to do the same. My sacrifices were my choice...you have to make your own." �But I should make the right ones.� "You should...but the right ones are up to you, Mer," he shrugged. "Not me." �Okay,� she sighed. "I don't want you to give things up that you don't want to give up. That will just...you'd end up resenting Hannah and I." �I wouldn�t...I don�t want to do that.� "I know you don't," he sighed. �But I also...I don�t want to be my mom. I don�t want to be emotionally stunted and alone and...I love surgery, Derek. I do. It�s amazing and...but I don�t want to be my mom.� "Mer...I won't let you be your mom. If you want to stay late for an amazing surgery...I'll get it. If you want to stay late for an appy...you'll be out on your ass." �Good to know,� she smiled slightly. "And no missed birthdays. And you have to take Christmas off." �I took this year off,� she nodded. �And I know. No missed birthdays. Or Halloweens. Or...I know.� "And call. If some amazing once in a lifetime surgery comes up and you have to stay late...call." �I know,� she murmured. �That...that was stupid.� "I thought you were dead." �I�m sorry.� "I know you are," he nodded. "Just...think about us. I know you're used to being alone but you're not anymore. Any decision you make...we need to be part of it." �Okay,� she nodded. �Call. I can call. And I can...okay.� "It's not easy, is it?" he asked, as he shifted to wrap an arm around her. �What?� she sighed, leaning her head against his shoulder. "Being a parent isn't easy." �No,� she shook her head. �It�s not.� "It comes," he whispered. "You'll get better at it. It comes to you." �It came to you,� she murmured. "After nights crying in a corner and yelling at a baby to stop crying, yes, it came to me." �Your mom told me,� she whispered, squeezing his knee. �She said she thought you were going to have a nervous break down.� "I think I nearly did," he nodded. "There were nights...once I'd finally get Hannah to bed, I'd just go lay in my mom's bed with her and cry." �Oh, Der,� she breathed. "There's still nights I want to crawl into bed and cry." �Really?� "Really," he nodded. �I just...I have no idea how to do this, Der. You...you get it. And you make it look easy and I just...I�m trying and you�re good at it and she hates me. I�m pretty sure she hates me. And you�re perfect with her.� "Hannah definitely doesn't hate you," he shook his head. "And I'm far from perfect at it. If I make it look easy...you're seeing what you want to see. But...it's not like that." �It�s not?� "When you're raising a kid...everytime you say anything, do anything...it's immediately followed by a big booming voice asking if you fucked up the kid forever." �You haven�t fucked her up, Derek.� "No, I don't think I have. But there's always a voice of self doubt in your brain. It doesn't go away, Mer." �But it doesn�t make you a bad dad,� she said quickly. �You�re...you stick by her and you...you�ve sacrificed things. You�re a good dad. You�re a great dad, even. Even if your mom says you�ve made mistakes you�re still a really, really good dad and I�m...I�m the person who chooses surgeries over a ballet practice.� "Thanks," he nodded. "And once, you chose surgeries over ballet practice once. It doesn't qualify you for mother of the year but no one is voting you off the island quite yet." �Voting me off the island?� she raised an eyebrow. "Yes," he laughed softly. "We could do it if we wanted to." �You�ve watched too much TV, Der,� she shook her head, smiling slightly. "That's what happens when you sacrifice a social life," he shrugged. �Yeah, I guess it is,� she sighed, leaning against him, squeezing his knee. "I know this is new to you," he murmured, pressing a light kiss on the top of her head. "And I know you're not sure when to sacrifice, when to not. It's hard. I never knew. Well to you...I knew I couldn't sacrifice you." �I...I don�t want to sacrifice you either,� she whispered. �But, Der, you...I talked to Webber today...� "About what?" Derek frowned slightly. �He�s offered you chief.� "Oh," Derek nodded. "Yeah, he did. Sorry I didn't tell you." �He�s offered it to you more than once, Derek.� "He has. He's a stubborn ass." �You could be chief,� she whispered. �You could be...Derek, he told me about the career and the...he said things. Really, really big things.� "What things?" �That...that you could be like my mom. Not just one of the best but the best and a legend and...and that you basically, not gave up but just stopped...stopped trying as hard.� "I had to," Derek shrugged. �You...Der, you could be big. You could be...you sacrificed your career.� "I did," he nodded slowly. "Some things are just more important." �But...you...you�re one of the best, Derek. You could be the best. You could be a legend and...isn�t that what all doctors want?� "Usually. And it is what I want. I do want it. I love that I'm in text books, I love being invited to talk...I didn't give that dream up. I don't want to be mediocre or forgotten," he sighed. "But...I can't do it all." �So you gave up everything?� she sighed. "No, of course not," Derek shook his head. "I've just had to be pickier than most. I go to conferences...just not all of them, and none that are too long. I have to work harder at balancing things than most surgeons. I just have...more limited choices, not everything." �And you passed on being chief.� "I passed on being chief." �Okay,� Meredith whispered. "Chief is too hard to balance," he shrugged. �I know.� "Does it bug you that I turned it down?" Derek frowned slightly. �No,� she shook her head. �Just...you could have been...you�re one of the best, Derek.� "I am. And I like to think I'm a good dad, and a good uncle, a good son and brother. A good friend. And a good boyfriend. Those things are more important to me. I love my job...but it's not my life." �You are.� "I'm happy with my life, Mer. I don't feel like I gave anything up." �That�s good,� Meredith murmured. "What are you not saying?" he asked quietly as he nuzzled her hair. �I...I don�t know,� she sighed. �You gave up things and you want me...what if I can�t?� "Mer...you already have." �No, I haven�t,� she shook her head. �I stayed late for a Humpty Dumpty. I...I don�t know if I can give up...I haven�t, Der.� "You booked off Hannah's birthday. You booked off Christmas. You've left early when I couldn't. You've done so much." �But you still...you want me to give up more.� "No I don't," he shook his head quickly. "I just don't want you to hurt Hannah. If it has been another night...just a normal night at home I would have been pissed if you passed on that." �It was...it was really amazing, Der,� she whispered. "Good," he nodded. "You did rock it, right?" �Of course I did,� she giggled. "That's my girl," he laughed. "I am proud." �You are?� "Of course," he nodded. "That's a tough surgery...and Hahn asking you, she wouldn't ask just anyone." �I know,� she smiled widely. �And it was completely...she�s probably trying to get me to go cardio.� "It's not going to work, is it?" �Of course not.� "Good," he smiled. "I'm not asking you to be me, Mer." �But you�d be happier if I was.� "Meredith..no, of course not. I don't want you to be me. I don't want to be in love with myself. I want you to be you." �You�re already in love with yourself,� she tried to joke. "I had a feeling you were going to say that," he laughed softly. "But Mer...I want you to be you. I want you to make the sacrifices that work for you." �Okay,� she sighed. "Okay?" �Okay,� she whispered. �I don�t...I don�t know what...I don�t know how yet.� "You'll figure it out," he murmured. "You have a step up on me if it helps." �How?� "You have me," he grinned. �Cheesy,� she rolled her eyes. "True," he laughed, kissing her head again. "You can cry in my arms instead of in a corner.' �Again, cheesy,� she sighed. �But...thank you.� "Just doing to my job." �I really am sorry, Derek,� she turned to him. �I won�t do it again.� "You might but we'll fight it out," he shrugged. "I'm sorry too. I definitely won't do that again." �Okay,� she smiled, leaning forward and kissing him. �I love you.� "I love you too," he grinned against her lips. �Hmm,� she sighed, resting her head against his shoulder. "I hate fighting with you," he whispered. �I hate fighting with you too.� "Let's try not to do this again," he sighed. �Definitely,� she nodded. "And if we do...I'm not breaking up with you. There is no worst case scenario to think about." �Good,� she sighed. "So we're okay?" he asked quietly. �We�re okay,� Meredith nodded. "Good," he nodded. "Because Hannah is at a friend's." �I was about to ask,� she smiled. "She won't be home for a few hours," he grinned. �You�re thinking make up sex,� she giggled. "Maybe," he smirked. �Make up sex is good,� she nodded, kissing him deeply. "It's the best part of fighting," he whispered against her lips. �It is,� she breathed, pushing his sweater up over his head. "Here?" �Here,� she nodded, his undershirt quickly following his sweater as she bit at the exposed skin of his shoulders. "It's cold," he groaned softly as his hands traveled to pull the sweater she had pulled on over her head. �Right now it is,� she giggled breathlessly against his skin, her fingers fumbling with the button of his pants. "Hmmm..." he murmured as he pulled her other shirt over her head. She succeeded with the buttons and pushed her hand inside his pants, letting her fingers graze over his rapidly growing erection. She pushed him onto his back, pulling his jeans over his hips, his boxers following. He gasped as the cold air hit him and she smiled as she shimmied down his body, lightly trailing her tongue over him. �Derek,� she murmured. "Mer..." he gasped, unhooking her bra with shaky hands. �Oh...� she gasped at the cold. His fingers tweaked over her erect nipples, rubbing them gently as she moaned, her back arching with pleasure. "God," he groaned as she rubbed her jean covered legs over his erection. �It�s been...we haven�t,� she murmured against his lips as his shaky hands moved to her jeans, pushing them down quickly. �Long time. Really...Derek.� "Days...it's been...days," he groaned, rubbing his arms over her body. �Lots of days,� she breathed as she centered herself over him, not allowing him to enter her as she kissed him hard. "Mer...please..." he groaned loudly, his hips rocking hard up to her. �Hmmm,� she smiled, her eyes darkening as she rubbed against him, her hands moving around to his ass. His hips rocked hard in her hands as she pushed him up into her, forcing him to thrust hard. �Fuck, Derek.� "God," he gasped as she held him in place, clenching her muscles around him before releasing him as he pushed into her again, pushing to fill her deeply. She moved her hips against his thrusts, taking him in fully as she moaned loudly. �Derek...Der...shit,� she gasped, moving faster against him as he thrust harder. "Oh fuck," he murmured, rocking hard into her, pulling her tighter to him as hs body began to tremble. �Derek...Derek,� she bit her lip, her own body starting to shake as her hips moved faster against him. �God...oh...� �Derek...I�m...oh god,� she screamed as her body tightened, her hips stilling as he thrusted hard up into her, his hands tightening on her hips to stabilize her. �Oh god...oh...Derek...� "Mer...Mer..." he gasped, pulling on her hair as he thrusted harder into her, gasping for breath as his body tightened. He pulled her down to his lips and she kissed him hard, biting down on his lip as another orgasm washed over her. He grunted, pushing harder and faster into her, tasting blood on his lips and then emptied into her with one last painful thrust. �Derek,� she murmured, her body shaking. "Oh..." he murmured, holding her tightly to him. 'Oh." �Yeah,� she panted as she collapsed onto his chest, her arms wrapping tightly around him. "I....make up sex...amazing," he gasped for breath. �Def...yes,� she nodded against his chest, still trying to breathe. "Wow," he breathed. �Very...very wow.� "That was..." �Wow?� "Wow works." �Your lip is bleeding,� she murmured. "That's what happens when someone bites it," he laughed breathlessly. �Sorry,� she giggled, rubbing her thumb over his lips. "Was basically worth it." �It was,� she nodded, cuddling back onto his chest. "We've never had sex on the dock before." �Hmm...� she sighed, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. �We haven�t.� "It's hot," he grinned. �Definitely,� she giggled. "And a little cold." �A little,� she sighed, reaching for the sweater she had been wearing. "Good idea," he nodded, shifting to grab for his pants. "We have to talk to Hannah when she gets here." �About?� "What do you think?" �This,� Meredith nodded, pulling her jeans back on. �Right.� "We can put it off if it's too much for tonight," Derek offered. �Yeah,� Meredith sighed. �What�s one more night of her hating me?� "She doesn't hate you," Derek sighed. "She just hasn't figured out that you can be mad at someone without hating them." �There�s only love or hate, no in between,� Meredith giggled slightly. "Exactly." �Tomorrow,� she sighed. �We�ll talk to her tomorrow.� She reached for his hand, squeezing it tightly. "Tomorrow works," he nodded. "As long as we're good." �We�re good, Der,� she smiled. "All that matters," he grinned, kissing her quickly. �Definitely,� she nodded, leading him back towards the house, wrapping the sweater closer around her. �Der?� "Yeah?" �You and Hannah...� she bit her lip, her brow furrowed and then sighed. �You and Hannah are first.� "We are?" �Yeah,� she nodded. �I�m...you�re...you�re it for me. And Hannah...she�s...I�m...I�m her mom or whatever. And you guys...first.� "Meredith Grey...did you just use the dreaded m word?" �Maybe,� she smiled slightly. �I mean...that�s what I am, right? Her fake mommy or whatever?� "That's what you are," he grinned. �Then yeah...I�m her mom or...something.� "And I'm it?" �You�re it,� she nodded, squeezing his hand. "Wow." �Don�t get all cheesy on me,� she giggled. "Oh I kind of think you're the cheesy one right now," he laughed. �I�m...fine, you�re not it. You�re just...you and kind of annoying,� she rolled her eyes. "One second...you say I'm it and then you call me annoying?" �I was trying to pour my heart out and you called me cheesy,� she frowned. �Pouring my heart out. Telling you things. Really big things. Things I�ve never told anyone before and you...you called me cheesy. So yes, I just called you annoying. Because I told you things and you...you called me cheesy.� "Mer...you told me amazing things. I love the things you said." �You better.� "Completely love it." �Good,� she sighed, pulling her hand out of his. �Because this is it. I�m...I�m done.� Derek moaned softly and grabbed for her, crashing his still sore lips hard against hers. "I'm done too." Say you need me with you, here beside you, anywhere you go, let me go too, that's all I ask of you.


I DO - Part 2 · GA FAN FICS