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I DO - Part 2; Trilogy By GraveDancer & Marilyns child
Topic Started: Dec 27 2007, 01:16 PM (150 Views)
oncetherewasaway Dec 27 2007, 01:16 PM Post #1
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 I Do


You Picked Me Sequel

By GraveDancer and Marilyns child



Hey guys!

Ahhhh...is this a trilogy I'm smelling in the air? Why yes indeed it is. So you know the characters. Cute little Hannah. Adorable Eskimo. Uncle Monkey. Mer and Der, of course. And now you're going to find out what's been going on with them since the last fic ended. Exciting, right?

Before I go around with the lyrics and all that, rules for the thread:


If you are posting on this thread, you are posting one of the following:

1) Randomness (we support random conversation, we love it.
2) A theory. We will discuss theories. We will love theories.
3) A concern that is causing you to teeter on the edge. We will talk you down.
4) A comment about the fic.
5) Sneak peeks, general spoilers

You SHOULD NOT be posting the following:
1) Blatant spoilers (aka, the full script, dialogue, etc.)
2) Bad juju. We don't like it. And we'll just be angry if you do it. This is a safe haven. So get your bad juju out of here and go be bad juju-y somewhere else.

And remember:

"No one ever said it would be easy, only that it would be worth it."
"If the road were easy, you wouldn't want to travel that far."


Now, on to the fic!

Song lyrics:

I Do
Paul Brandt

I've seen the storm clouds in your past
But rest assured 'cause you are safe
at home at last
I rescued you, you rescued me
And we're right where we should be
when we're together

I know the questions in your mind
But go ahead and ask me one more time
You'll find the answer's still the same
It won't change from day to day
for worse or better

Will I promise to be your best friend
And am I here until the end
Can I be sure I have been waiting for you
And did I say my love is true
Baby I will, I am, I can, I have, I do

I know the time will disappear
But this love we're building on will always be here
No way that this is sinking sand
On this solid rock we'll stand forever

Will I promise to be your best friend
And am I here until the end
Can I be sure I have been waiting for you
And did I say my love is true
Baby I will, I am, I can, I have, I do

Baby I will, I am, I can, I have
Oh, I will, I am, I can, I have
Baby I will, I am, I can, I have, I do


First update is on it's way! Hope you stick with us!

xo
Katie



Disclaimer: If we owned Grey's Anatomy Derek's date in 408 would be with Meredith. Actually no, that's silly. We get why he has to "date" again. So yes, it wouldn't be with Meredith. It would be with one of us. And in 409...the other one.


Meredith Grey sighed as she closed the door to her car, her completely overly stuffed car. Stuffed with her stuff. The stuff she had been packing for the past month, the stuff she had pulled out of her house after selling it. Somehow, the Seattle Grace Youth Hostel was...it was gone. It was completely gone and she was moving into her boyfriend's house. Finally.

It had felt like it had been ages since they had started talking about. It had been ages since they had talked about it. Derek and Hannah had moved in a couple of months before and now she was going to join them. She was entirely ready for that, entirely ready to join them and start living like a family or whatever. Family that still seemed like this strange amazingly huge word.

They had been together for almost a year. Almost a year and they were...they were good. Great. She couldn't actually remember a time when she was happier...ever. Even Hannah was happy now. Entirely happy with her puppy and with Meredith practically living with them. Because she had been for the past few months. She couldn't actually remember the last time she spent a night at her house.

But now it was official. Now she was actually going to be living with them. There was no escaping when she didn't want to deal with Derek after a fight. And there were fights. Not a lot, just a few and always normal ones. Completely normal ones. But fights all the same. According to Derek it made them a much stronger couple and that was a good thing. And make up sex was a lot of fun.

But still...no escaping now. If they fought, she couldn't storm home and wait for him to get his head out of his ass, or avoid him until she felt like saying sorry. Or maybe there could be avoiding. Avoiding was possible in this house. This huge house on the huge amounts of land. Avoiding him might be easy...but she would actually have to fall into bed next to him after a fight.

Which was actually amazing. She knew she would be scared, there was this tiny voice in her head that kept telling her she should definitely be nervous about this level of committment. Old Meredith would have freaked out at the idea of living with her boss and his daughter. Except she wasn't scared at all, she didn't want to freak out. She wanted to move in and put her stuff everywhere and crawl into Derek’s arms.

"Meredith's here!" Hannah called, running down the front steps, her hair flying out behind her. Somehow, in the past few months, Hannah had learned to say her name correctly, had learned to accept that she was going to be around, and was slowly but surely learning that a closed door meant Daddy and Meredith wanted privacy. She giggled as the almost seven year old wrapped her arms around her legs.

"Hey Han!" Meredith grinned, ruffling her curls.

"We missed you lots!" Hannah grinned widely. "Eskimo too."

"I missed you too," Meredith smiled. "But now you don't have to miss me anymore."

"Cause you're moving in with us," Hannah nodded.

"I am!" Meredith laughed softly. "Where's Daddy?"

"He's supposed to be coming," Hannah frowned, turning towards the house. "Daddy! Daddy! Meredith's here!"

"She is?" Derek asked as he walked out the front door.

"Hey," Meredith smiled at him. Two days. Somehow they had actually gone two days without seeing each other. Not that she had noticed that. Definitely not. He had worked, she had packed...they hadn't seen each other in two days. Missing him seemed stupid.

"Hey," he smiled widely, closing the gap between them and pulling her into his arms to kiss her hard. "I missed you."

"Me too," she breathed against his lips.

"So it's...today," he murmured.

"Yeah," she sighed, leaning against his chest. "I...I have stuff."

"You do," he grinned. "I'm assuming you expect me to help you."

"No, not at all," she rolled her eyes. "I can do it by myself. You go and rest."

"So sarcastic," he smirked. "I've got this."

"Meredith, guess what!" Hannah grabbed Meredith's hand, dragging her towards the house.

"What?" Meredith grinned.

"Me and Daddy are making the house like Christmas!"

"You are? That's pretty exciting, Han!" Meredith smiled, wondering exactly what that meant in this home.

"We got a tree and Daddy's gonna let me put the angel on the top!"

"That sounds fun," Meredith nodded. "When are you going to do it?"

"Um...soon as we're done putting all the other ornments on," Hannah nodded. "It's really pretty and Daddy says he's gonna put lights on the house even though no one can see it cause no one comes to our house cept Nana and you and Uncle Monkey."

"Well Santa needs to be able to find the house," Meredith nodded.

"That's what Daddy said," Hannah giggled.

"It's very true," Meredith grinned.

"I wanna dress Eskimo up like a reindeer but Daddy says I can't," Hannah sighed dramatically.

"I think your daddy might have a good idea. Eskimo might not like it a lot."

"Maybe," the little girl nodded. "I gotta go find Eskimo. I'll be right back, okay?"

"Okay," Meredith giggled softly.

"Don't go nowhere," Hannah nodded, running into the house.

"Why are you just standing here?" Derek frowned coming up behind her.

"I was talking to your daughter," she turned to him and the boxes he was carrying. "And she told me not to go anywhere."

"Of course she did," he rolled his eyes. "All I heard about this morning was you."

"Really?" she grinned, taking a box from him.

"Really."

"Why?"

"She's excited to have her bestest friend living in the house."

"I've been practically living here for months," she pointed out as she followed him into the house.

"I know but this...it's different, Mer."

"I know," she nodded carefully.

"You okay?"

"I'm great, Der," she breathed, leaning forward to kiss him. "Really, really great."

"Good," Derek smiled. "So am I. And so is Hannah."

"Really okay? Because I wasn't sure when we told her..."

"She's been off and on about it," he sighed. "And I have a feeling she doesn't really understand how this actually changes things."

"Probably not," she sighed. "She didn't seem to really get it. That I'm not going to have another home now."

"It's a big concept for her. And I don't think she's grasped that you can't just be only her bestest friend anymore."

"I could be," Meredith bit her lip.

"No, Mer...you can't be. You're an adult in the house now."

"Which means..."

"See, I knew I'd manage to get you to freak out today," he smirked.

"I'm not freaking out," she shook her head. "There are boxes and...apparently Christmas. Apparently you and Hannah are decorating the Christmas tree."

"Me, Hannah and you, yes."

"Oh," she couldn't help but smile slightly. "She said...she said it was almost done. I thought...you want me to help?"

"Of course," he smiled, kissing her lightly. "It's your home, Mer."

"My home," she smiled widely.

"And the big scary changes can happen slowly," he sighed. "Don't worry."

"Big scary changes?" she asked, starting up the stairs with her box.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Living with us now kind of changes."

"Okay," she nodded slowly. "Slowly. We can...we do slow. Well, not really. We haven't even been dating a year and I'm moving in but...slow is good. And Christmas is...good. Really good."

"You're so cute," he grinned.

"Right...cute," she rolled her eyes. "Moving in, Der. I have to move in."

"Moving in," he nodded. "What's all in these boxes?"

"My stuff," she shrugged. "I have stuff. People have stuff when they move out of houses and into other people's houses."

"You really are freaking out," he laughed. "Where does this stuff go? Our room?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "And...I mean, I put a lot of stuff in storage because...and I'm not freaking out. This is good. And amazing."

"Mer...as good and as amazing as it is, feel free to freak out a bit."

"You're not freaking out."

"I am a little."

"Seriously? You? Freaking out?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "I'm more controlled about it but...this is big, Mer."

"You're not...I mean, it's amazing for you too, right?"

"Completely amazing," he smiled widely. "One of the best days of my life."

"Me too," she smiled, putting a box down on the floor in their bedroom before turning to him and kissing him deeply.

"Hmmm..." he groaned softly, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close.

"Close the door?" she breathed, her fingers working through his curls.

"Definitely," he whispered. "Though I can't promise how long that will last."

"It's been two days," she sighed, pulling away to close their door.

"It has been. I hated it."

"Me too. It was...okay, it's pathetic to say that I missed you. Cristina thinks we're lame. And pathetic. And that living together will make me soft or whatever."

"I think we're already pretty soft," he pointed out. "And I missed you too. Never again though."

"Yeah...no more two days at my house.'

"Oh you can spend as many days as you want at your house."

"Fine, my old house," she giggled, kissing him again.

"You live here," he breathed, holding her tightly. "We live together."

"We live together," she echoed, resting her head against his chest. "We...together."

"You're stuck here now," he whispered. "We're going to die in this house...together."

"That's a little morbid, Der."

"I know...but true."

"Is it...you're not good at this slow thing, Der."

"No, not when it comes to you," he sighed. "Not ready for that stuff?"

"I don't...not yet," she bit her lip. "I mean...it's just...I know it's going to. But we just...and we haven't even been together a year and this could...this could go bad. People live together and it goes bad. So...I mean, I want that stuff. But it's fast. Really fast."

"Okay," he nodded, squeezing her tightly. "We're not going to go bad. Not us."

"I know," she smiled against his chest.

"Good," he murmured.

"I love you," she breathed.

"I love you too," he whispered.

"Daddy!" Hannah came bursting in, throwing open the door. "Daddy!"

"Hannah, door," Derek pointed out.

"Oh," Hannah frowned, biting her lip and then looking up. "Eskimo had an accident and we gotta finish the tree and...I'm not in trouble, right? Cause it's a mergency!"

"You're not in trouble," Derek sighed. "Because today's a special day but don't forget about the rule. Even though Meredith lives here now the rule still stands."

"I know," Hannah nodded. "Eskimo had a accident, Daddy."

"Probably too excited. Where?"

"In my room. We were playing."

"Okay. I'll come help you clean it."

"I don't like to clean it, Daddy," Hannah pouted.

"Okay," Derek sighed. "How about you stay here and help Meredith unpack and I'll go clean?"

"That's not any fun, Daddy," Meredith giggled. "Come on, Han, how about you show me the Christmas tree?"

"Okay, Meredith!" Hannah smiled, grabbing her hand.

"I'll see you downstairs," she smiled to Derek, kissing him quickly.

"See you," he smiled.

"Come on, Han," Meredith grinned, following Hannah out of the room.

Derek smiled as he watched them head out the door, hand in hand. Today was it. He had been waiting for it since he had bought the land and started building the house. This had always been the plan. This had always been what he wanted, Meredith, him and Hannah living together and building a home. This was kind of actually perfect. It was a huge change but perfect.

He couldn't believe she was actually moving in though. He hadn't been sure she would say yes when he finally got up the nerve to ask her one night in bed. At first, he thought her mumbled yes was a post-orgasmic answer with no meaning at all, but then she had put her house up for sale and...now here they were. And he couldn't actually imagine this going any better.

He wasn't kidding himself. He knew this was huge, he knew this was going to take some time for everyone to completely adapt for this to become easy but it felt too good to worry about this stuff. He'd be coming home to her all the time. He'd be doing groceries with her, paying bills with her, all the things couples that lived together did. The completely mundane things that felt perfect.

It was the step he wanted to take, the step he needed to take. They hadn't been dating for long, they were still a couple months shy of a year, but he was ready for this. He wanted to make it much more official. Since Mark had proposed to Addison, he had been thinking about proposing to his girlfriend, his entirely skittish girlfriend. He wanted everything with her, and he felt this was the first step in that direction.

Now I picture things
Wedding gowns and wedding rings
Since I let myself fall in love with you

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oncetherewasaway Dec 27 2007, 01:33 PM Post #2
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Disclaimer: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showb...ticle393180.ece ...watch that. Paddy is a funny funny man. If we owned Grey's Anatomy we'd probably cash in on that funniness more often.

Derek smiled to himself as he sipped at his wine before putting it down to grab some books from a box. Medical texts that were years ahead of the ones he had kept on his bookcases for years. Which probably meant he should just toss his and use Meredith's when he needed them. Or well theirs he guessed. Everything was now theirs. The house and everything in it now belonged to both of them.

She sat across from him, her head buried in another box, her wine resting between her crossed legs. She was wearing one of his t-shirts that had, at some point, become her t-shirt and a pair of sweats, her hair pulled back in a messy ponytail. He had seen her in the outfit a million times, but somehow, something about the fact that she was unpacking her stuff made it all that much more amazing.

He still couldn't believe that this was actually happening. He had spent months chasing her, months sleeping with her all over the hospital because it was all he could get and he figured that would be enough. But it certainly wasn't. It felt like it was and part of him had wanted it to be. But the fact that they were unpacking stuff in their bedroom, about to go to sleep in their bed was so much

"I really should have gotten rid of stuff," Meredith pulled her head out of the box, reaching for her wine glass.

"No, it's okay," Derek shook his head quickly. "We'll make it all fit in the house."

"I just...I have a lot of crap," she groaned. "I put stuff in storage and I still have...it's juts a lot of crap."

"Mer...it's okay," he smiled. "I'm personally happy for the new text books."

"I think that makes you a dork," she giggled.

"No, I think it makes me a surgeon that likes updated books," he laughed.

"A dork."

"Fine, I'm a dork. And you love a dork."

"I guess," she sighed dramatically, reaching for the books. "And you can't read the neuro text."

"Why not?"

"You just...can't."

"Mer...I'm a neurosurgeon, it's the one I'd most likely need. Why can't I read it?"

"Because...you can't."

"Unless you actually give me a reason I'm going to look."

"Too advanced."

"The textbook is too advanced for me?"

"Yes," she nodded quickly, reaching for it.

"Mer, I could write a textbook if I wanted to."

"Yeah...that's the problem," she sighed.

"What's the problem?" he frowned.

"Derek..." she groaned and then nodded. "Why do you think everyone knows who you are? Why do you think I was freaking out over you being my boss and wanting to work under...with you?"

"Because I'm a genius."

"And that is why you can't read the textbook."

"Give it to me."

"No," she giggled, holding it close to her chest.

"I'm obviously in it, let me see."

"You are not going to see. And I did not say you were in it."

"You did. Why can't I see it? Did you draw hearts around my name?"

"No," Meredith grimaced. "Who does that? Seriously. That's...I really think that makes me want to vomit."

"Well unless you show me proof you didn't I'm going on the assumption you did and now you're embarrassed."

"Derek...there's almost an entire chapter covering one of your surgeries."

"Seriously?"

"And this is why you can't look," she nodded.

"So in med school you get to learn about how big of genius I am?"

"Oh god," she groaned.

"People actually use me as an example to teach other doctors."

"They obviously are high on something."

"Oh you were impressed. You read the chapter and wished you could be as cool as me."

"No, I read the chapter and thought I could top you any day of the week," she smirked, taking another sip of her wine.

"Which is actually exactly what I love most," he breathed.

"What?" she looked up from her box.

"You're not at all impressed by me and what I've accomplised."

"Because I know you're really an idiot."

"You're not with me to advance your carreer, you're not with me to get in on cool surgeries. You just...love me."

"Well...the cool surgeries are a bonus," she giggled.

"Mer...you're only a resident so you don't really know what it's like but...it's something. You love me...not the man in your text."

"The man in my text sounded old and stuffy," she said, opening the book and handing it to him. "As you're apparently a pioneer."

"I am," he grinned proudly, skimming over the pages. "Wow."

"Wow?"

"I've been published a lot, Mer. But being in a textbook and being talked about in classes is different. You did talk about me in class, right?"

"Yes, we talked about you in class," Meredith rolled her eyes.

"I'm going to need details."

"No."

"Please?"

"Derek...it was the surgery. Not you."

"Still...I'm sure I was called amazing at least once."

"You weren't."

"Seriously?" he frowned.

"Seriously."

"That's hurts. I'm obviously amazing...look at this."

"I'm going to burn that book."

"You can't."

"I can and I will."

"But then what will we use to study?"

"Fine. I'll tear out those pages."

"But what if I need to study those pages?"

"It's your surgery."

"And?"

"If you don't know it by now, I'll write the publisher of the textbook and tell them you're a fraud."

"I like looking at it," he frowned.

"Finish unpacking the box."

"You know when you start getting published all over I won't let you look at it."

"I don't have an arrogance problem, nor will I be published all over," she pointed out, her head going into her box again.

"How do you know you won't be published all over?"

"I just...do," she sighed. "I really need to get rid of some crap."

"It might actually be a good idea," he laughed.

"You said we'd be able to fit it all into the house."

"Well...you have a lot."

"So do you."

"We'll figure it out."

"We will," she nodded, taking another sip of wine before stretching.

"Tired?"

"Hmmm," she nodded.

"We can finish this in the morning if you want."

"Working," she groaned. "We'll have to finish it when I get home from work."

"Can do," he nodded, getting up off the floor.

"Moving sucks," she sighed as she stood up, grabbing the book off the floor and tossing it back into the box.

"No it doesn't," he smiled widely. "You're stuck with me now."

"Okay, the process of moving sucks," she corrected, finishing off her wine.

"I'll give you that one," he sighed.

"It took you forever to unpack," she smiled, falling onto the bed. "And now you're doing it all over again."

"I am hoping to god this doesn't take as long," he laughed, climbing into the bed beside her.

"I don't have that much stuff," she giggled, curling up next to him, her head on his chest, her legs tangled in his.

"No you don't," he sighed, running his fingers through her hair.

"I mean, a lot of stuff but...it won't take that long," she promised, nuzzling his chest as her arms went around his waist.

"Don't worry about it, Mer. This is your home. I want you to feel like it is."

"Meaning..."

"All your crap should be here. And treat it like it's home. It's not mine and Hannah's home anymore...it's all of ours."

"I don't think you really mean all my crap."

"I think I do."

"A lot of my crap is in storage."

"Well...eventually we should sort through that."

"Eventually," she sighed. "Right now...no more boxes. Boxes are evil and moving...the moving process sucks."

"I entirely agree."

"So...I'm here," she breathed.

"You're here."

"It's kind of..." she trailed off, chewing on her lower lip. "It's actually really big and huge and...I'm here. Living with you."

"It's big. It's actually huge."

"But good," she murmured, nuzzling his chest. "Really, really good. And crazy."

"It's amazing," he breathed.

"Crazy."

"Insane."

"Oh you don't think it's crazy or insane," she rolled her eyes. "You were totally all about it being normal and right and...you've been planning it for ages."

"I have been," he murmured. "But there was a time when I didn't think this would ever happen."

"Sex only?" she sighed.

"Yeah."

"Sex only was fun though," she attempted to joke.

"It was," he sighed. "But I like this a lot more."

"Me too."

"Good."

She nuzzled closer into his chest, his fingers finding their way to the ponytail holder and then pulling it out. His fingers played with her blonde waves, gently curling them around his fingers as she cuddled close, her arms tightening around him. His lips fell to the top of her head and she turned her head up to capture them, kissing him deeply. "Love you," she breathed.

"Love you too," he murmured against her lips.

"Door closed?" she breathed, rolling over onto him.

"Closed it already," he whispered.

"All the way right?" she giggled. "Because last time it was open a crack..."

"All the way."

"Good," she whispered, kissing him again as her fingers worked there way through his curls.

"Hmmm..." he moaned. "I thought you were tired."

"I am," she nodded. "But it's my first day and...are you tired?"

"No."

"Good," Meredith nodded, trailing light kisses down his jawline.

"We can make love in our bed," he murmured.

"In our house," she whispered in between kisses.

"Our house," he groaned as his hands travelled below her shirt, smoothing along her stomach.

"Der," she breathed as his fingertips brushed the waistband of her sweatpants before reaching for the hem of her shirt and pushing it over her head.

"Mer..." he murmured, kissing her lips softly.

She pulled his t-shirt over his head and then moved down slightly, pressing kisses and bites down his chest, her fingernails brushing against his skin as she made her way down to his pants. "Derek," she murmured, biting his shoulder eagerly.

"Oh..." he groaned, his own hands traveling down her sides and stopping at her pants before pulling them down slowly, letting his fingers trail along her skin as he lowered himself, kissing along her collar bone.

Her body buzzed with anticipation as he kissed her, her fingers rushing to pull down his pajama pants. "Derek...please," she pleaded quietly.

"Hmmm....no torture tonight," he murmured as he centrered himself over her, ducking his head down to kiss her gently as he thrust himself into her slowly.

"Oh god," she moaned, her hips rocking up to meet his slow and gentle thrusts as she kissed him, her fingers playing in the curls at the nape of his neck. "Derek, god."

"I love you," he whispered, running a hand along her body, stopping at her breast. He slid gently out of her as he gently squeezed her breast and gently moved back into her as he flicked her nipple with his thumb.

"I...god," she gasped, her hips rocking harder against him. Her hands fell to his back, moving her fingernails against the skin as he took the nipple into her mouth and sucked gently, still moving in and out of her. "Der...shit..."

"Mer..." he breathed against her erect wet nipple, his hands holding her hips in place as he continued the slow movements.

"You said...no...oh god," she moaned, struggling underneath his hands.

"I lied," he murmured, before moving the flick his tongue against her other nipple before taking it into his mouth to suck on it gently, his thrusts not changing as he pushed far into her slowly.

"Fine," she murmured, her hands moving down to his lower back, pushing him deep into her and then clenching her muscles, holding him in place.

"Dirty," he gasped, his body trembling as he strained to move. "You...playing dirty."

"Punishing," she corrected breathlessly.

"I...oh god," he breathed, as he moved his hand down her body, moving his fingers between them to part her folds and flick at her swollen clit.

"Derek!" she screamed and then held her hand up to her mouth, quieting her screams as he rubbed her clit until she released him. Her legs moved around his waist, giving him easier access as he pushed into her again.

"Meredith," he groaned, moving his hands to her hips again, holding her still as he moved into her, slightly faster than he had before but still slow and gentle.

"You...Der," she moaned, bringing his face up and kissing him hard, her legs tightening around his waist. "Derek, please..."

"Not till you...come."

"I....please, Derek," she begged as his fingers worked her swollen clit, rubbing urgently as he moved slowly in and out of her. "Der...."

"Come for me," he ordered softly as he took her nipple into his mouth again.

"Ass," she moaned loudly, her body starting to tighten.

"Come..." he breathed, his movements in her staying slow.

"Derek...oh god, Der," she gasped, her body curling underneath him as she tightened around him, holding him in place again as the orgasm came over her, shaking her taut muscles. "Der...god...please..."

"Mer..." he groaned loudly, as he finally let his pace pick up, gribbing her hips hard as he drove into her, feeling her still trembling around him.

"Fuck," she breathed, her hips rocking against his as he thrust harder and faster into her, his hands moving underneath her to her ass, bringing her up against him. "Derek...oh god...oh...Derek!"

"Mer...Mer..." he murmured, his hands squeezing her hips hard as he rocked harder into her, losing control of his movements as he kissed her lips hard.

"Der...come...oh god," her body tightened around him again, her fingernails pushing into his skin.

"Oh fuck," he gasped, his body trembling hard against hers as he felt himself beginning to tighten.

"Oh, god oh god," she said again and again, another orgasm coming over her as she tried to find his lips to kiss, her entire body shaking. "Derek...Der..."

"Meredith," he moaned, his own body shaking violently as he bucked against her, releasing himself into her.

"Oh shit...oh..." she panted, her eyes closing as her chest heaved.

"God...oh god," he gasped for breath.

"W-wow," she stammered.

"You...you..."

"God," she gasped, kissing him hard. "Derek..."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"Lo...love you," he murmured.

"Love you too," she murmured.

"Wow."

"Definitely," she whispered, wrapping her legs around his, pulling him closer.

"Hmmm...sleep...in our bed?"

"Please," she murmured, pulling away from him to reach for her shirt.

"Definitely," he nodded, grabbing for his own clothes.

"Sex in our house is fun," she sighed, falling back onto the bed and curling up against him.

"It definitely is," he laughed softly.

"Though you're definitely an ass," she giggled, kissing him.

"What? Why?"

"That was...torture," she whispered as he pulled her close to him, her head resting on his chest.

"You loved it," he murmured.

"Hmmm," she nodded. "Set the alarm?"

"What time?"

"I have to be there by six. So...early."

"I hate early," he sighed as he reached over to fiddle with the clock.

"Me too," she groaned, wrapping her arms around his waist, pulling him back down.

"I love you," he whispered as he settled against her.

"Love you too," she mumbled.

"Night Mer."

"Night, Der."

Derek let his eyes fall close as he hugged her tightly, enjoying the feel of her head resting on his chest. Happy for the first time ever they were actually both at home.

You're my home and together we share this love for us


So...

IT'S SURPRISE TIME!!

Now we all know things might be about to get a little...let's say hard in Seattle Grace Land. There's a very real chance that Derek will think about dating this Lauren person or possibly date this Lauren person. And it will be hard to watch. And will probably involve wine. BUT Meredith and Derek are headed to a good place. They need to go through this to get to that good place. And it is coming.

Which is why we have made this thread the place for good juju and good juju only. You all know the rules. And even when it does really start hurting...we're keeping it up. We really are.

And we feel that we need to spread the good juju!

So I made you some gifts!!


Feel free to copy and post into your siggy...
i3.photobucket.com/albums/y79/hockeyish/easyworth.jpg

and...

and yet again feel free to add to your siggy...
i3.photobucket.com/albums/y79/hockeyish/road.jpg

Just add the [IMG] things and http:// and you are good to go. Add one, add both, use on other boards (but give me credit) and enjoy!!


Disclaimer: Alicia and Katie are like the positive juju fairies. Which is a hard job sometimes but someone has to do it. And if we owned the show no one would actually have to do it. *Sigh*


"I'm pretty sure we'll never actually unpack all my stuff," Meredith sighed to Lexie as she took a bite of her salad. "And it's been...I mean, it's great. I love living there. But I have crap and he has crap and there's...there's a lot of crap."

"That's usually what happens when two people move in together," Lexie giggled.

"Three people," Meredith corrected. "Hannah has crap too."

"Doesn't she keep her crap in her room though?"

"She's supposed to."

"I guess that doesn't actually happen," Lexie nodded. "You three will figure it all out, you're like the world's perfect family or something."

"We're definitely not perfect," Meredith rolled her eyes. "I mean, it is great and amazing but Hannah...and you know they're completely into Christmas? Like...entire house decorating and Christmas trees and calendars with chocolate counting down to Christmas Eve. Really, really into Christmas."

"Is it driving you crazy?"

"Completely. I just...and I can't run or anything. I get sucked into it. I swear it looks like Santa's freakin' village."

"You have a six year old, Mer. I'm sure if it was just Derek he'd be a lot more low key about it."

"I think he encourages it," Meredith shook her head. "He completely encourages it. He's one of those guys who loves Christmas."

"Well...he would be. He's Derek."

"Yeah, I know," Meredith grinned widely.

"You really seem to be upset about it," Lexie giggled.

"Everything's just kind of perfect right now," Meredith giggled. "Like...stupid perfect. Stupid perfect and I keep thinking something's going to explode or something. But it's entirely perfect. Or almost perfect. But good. Really, really good."

"Mer...you and Derek, you're not going to explode. I mean...it won't be perfect forever but I don't think you two will have bombs."

"I hope not," Meredith sighed. "He's doing that thing again."

"What thing?"

"The talking about marriage thing."

"Well...you did just move in."

"Yeah, but we haven't even been dating a year. It's still new and...I mean, things could explode. I could meet his mom and things could completely and totally explode. Which is probably why I haven't met her yet. Not that he's hiding me, he's not. It's just...things could explode and he's talking about marriage and dying together and...I don't know."

"Mer...do you want to marry him?"

"Lexie..." Meredith groaned, stabbing at her salad. "Too early. Or too fast or...not now. Or...I mean...just too big and scary."

"Mer, I'm not asking if you want to marry him tomorrow," Lexie rolled her eyes. "Do you want to marry him one day?"

"I...maybe. If...maybe."

"Last time you said maybe when it came to Derek Shepherd you told him you loved him the next day."

"That was different," Meredith rolled her eyes. "And...okay, I do. I do...one day. But not now and he talks about it and he has this look in his eye and he's really, really bad with the whole going slow thing so...he's probably already gone out and bought the ring or whatever."

"Mer, he knows you want slow. Even if he's one hundred percent sure that he'll one day marry you I'm sure he isn't going ring shopping quite yet."

"You don't see how he looks and he says things. Ever since Mark proposed to Addie...I should kick his ass."

"Derek has wanted that since the day he met you," Lexie sighed. "He goes at your pace, Mer. He always has. The sex only, the...everything has been your pace. He might slip every now and then...so I'm sure you have nothing to worry about."

"I'm not worried just...concerned."

"Fine, you have nothing to be concerned about. The man loves you desperately."

"Which is why I'm concerned. Desperate loving equals ring shopping and proposals with flowers and candles and...stuff."

"Have you told him you're not ready for that?"

"He knows."

"Then he's not about to do anything stupid."

"I hope not," Meredith sighed.

"He won't. He's just happy to have you living with him," Lexie grinned.

"I know. We're both...insanely and stupidly happy. Really happy and he's...and even Hannah's been good."

"That's great, Mer."

"It is. Completely great and amazing."

"Good," Lexie nodded. "Don't worry so much about the marriage thing."

"I'm not," Meredith shook her head. "Bigger things to worry about. I mean, if he proposes...bigger things to worry about."

"Like what?"

"Like the fact he's not really a neat freak but he is...I mean, I'm not a slob, just...he gets this look on his face."

"Oh those kind of things," Lexie giggled.

"Not funny. He gets all dad-like or whatever. He gets the look on his face that he has whenever Hannah leaves her stuff around."

"It's just an adjustment."

"It's just weird actually living there," Meredith sighed. "I mean, I've been practically living there for months. But actually living with him is...it's weird."

"In a good way?"

"In a great way. In a really weird great way. But weird and...you know how we are after fights. Separate corners or whatever."

"It's a big enough house to do that in."

"Yeah, but then there's going to bed and he's there...we haven't fought yet. We've kind of been floating or whatever. But it's going to happen."

"And you'll make it through it," Lexie sighed. "It's not like you actually stay mad at each other that long."

"True. He does that whole apologizing thing and then there's make up sex and...I don't think we've actually ever been angry at each other for longer than a day."

"So you don't really have a problem."

"He's great, Lexie. Probably the world's most perfect man."

"Leave it to you to steal him before the rest of us even had a shot."

"Don't be jealous," Meredith giggled. "And I'm pretty sure he has a niece around your age. So...hands off."

"Old man," Lexie laughed. "Besides...a man has to want to be stolen away to steal them."

"I can't believe you just called my boyfriend a old man," Meredith mock-gasped.

"He's a hot old man."

"He is," Meredith giggled. "Though I should tell him you called him old. See if you get good surgeries."

"You wouldn't," Lexie gasped. "I depend on him for good surgeries."

"You're the one who called him old."

"Not to his face."

"To me...his girlfriend. The woman he's madly in love with and wants to marry and die with."

"Doesn't mean you have to tell him."

"I could."

"You wouldn't. I'm your sister. Blood is thicker."

"I guess," Meredith sighed dramatically.

"Good," Lexie grinned.

"But now that I have this knowledge....I can't promise I'll keep it to myself."

"What?"

"Nothing," Meredith giggled.

"Now I don't trust you."

"But I'm your sister."

"And Derek has a way of getting things out of you."

"He kind of does," Meredith laughed.

"It's scary and sad."

"Sad?" Meredith frowned.

"You're so in love with him that he has a very strange power over you."

"Okay...that's not...I mean, he doesn't..." she trailed off and then bit her lower lip. "Okay, fine. That is scary and sad."

"Exactly," Lexie giggled suddenly looking up and blushing slightly.

"What?" Meredith frowned, turning around and looking up to see Alex Karev walking by, smirking at her sister. She turned to look at Lexie whose blush deepened as she looked down at her food. Meredith turned back to Alex, her stomach turning when he winked lewdly. "What...Lexie, what was that?"

"Nothing, that wasn't anything," Lexie shook her head quickly.

"No, that was definitely...that was Alex Karev and...that was definitely something."

"It was nothing," Lexie repeated. "So you and Derek and Hannah, you're good. We should talk about that."

"You're definitely not changing the subject," Meredith shook her head. "Are you...you and Alex aren't...oh god, you aren't, right?"

"No, of course not, Mer," Lexie rolled her eyes. "I barely remember the last time I was with anyone."

"Then what...you blushed, Lexie."

"I did not. Ten year olds blush, Meredith."

"You blushed."

"The stress of the move is affecting your brain waves."

"I have not had stress. And you blushed. You actually blushed and he...he winked."

"Seriously...get Derek to look at your brain."

"Seriously...are you sleeping with Alex?"

"I can honestly say I'm not."

"But you want to."

"Well...umm...no, of course not. He's your friend."

"You do!" Meredith groaned. "Lexie..."

"Mer, I'm not doing anything," Lexie shook her head.

"Lexie, he's Alex. He...he gave George the syph."

"Okay...technically Olivia gave George the syph," Lexie giggled.

"Okay, but Alex gave Olivia the syph who gave it to George. And it was like...a hospital epidemic which means Alex slept with a lot of people and...he cheated on Izzie with Olivia and...it's wrong, Lexie. He's Alex. He's like...Mark. Only, well, I don't know about worse. Though, I don't think Mark ever spread the syph."

"Derek would know. You should go ask him."

"You're not getting out of this conversation."

"There is no conversation. Besides don't you want to know if Mark every spread the syph."

"I...not the point, Lexie. You can't...he's Alex."

"I'm not, Mer."

"Not now. But...he winked at you. And you blushed."

"He winks at everyone."

"But you blushed."

"Human reaction."

"When you want to have sex with someone. Dirty nasty on call room sex."

"Well...nothing is going on."

"Fine," Meredith sighed. "And there better not be anything going on later. Because I'll kill him."

"Nothing...definitely not."

"You want him."

"I..no, of course not. Syph."

"Yeah. Syph. How would you explain the syph to Susan?"

"She wouldn't actually have to know."

"I would consider it my duty as her...whatever I am...to tell her that you got the syph from the hospital manwhore."

"You wouldn't!" Lexie gasped.

"I would."

"Fine. And I'll tell her about the dirty sex only period of you and Derek."

"You did that last year at Thanksgiving."

"Oh yeah," Lexie giggled.

"Which means I still totally have to get you back for that. And since Alex is Alex...he'll only want dirty sex only and...I'll be forced to tell Susan I had to treat you for the syph."

"I hate you."

"You love me," Meredith giggled as her pager went off.

"Is that Derek?"

"It might be," Meredith smiled, looking down at her pager.

"You two live together, you'd think this would stop."

"What?"

"Paging each other constantly at work," Lexie smirked.

"Okay, a) he is my boss and I am working with him today, B) it's not for what you think it is and c) he didn't come home until late last night and I had to be here early."

"So it could actually be for what I think it's for."

"It could be."

"Go," Lexie rolled her eyes.

"Going," Meredith giggled as she stood. "And you...no sleeping with Alex Karev."

"Well there you went and ruined my plans for the rest of the day."

"Lexie Grey!"

"Kidding."

"I'm serious, Lexie. No sleeping with Alex."

"Mer, go find Derek."

"I'm going," Meredith sighed as she walked away from her sister. Her sister who was definitely flirting with Alex Karev. Or wanting to flirt with Alex Karev. Or wanting to do something with Alex Karev that led to very bad things. Alex wasn't a bad guy. She liked Alex. He was kind of an ass, but she liked him. It was just...Lexie definitely couldn't be flirting with him.

Lexie needed a boyfriend, she had to find her McDreamy or whatever. Not that people needed that but Lexie did. She wanted it, it's what she was looking for. And there was no way Alex Karev could be that guy. He was Alex. And he may one day be that guy for someone but certainly not her sister. That was awkward and strange and not about to happen anytime soon.

Or ever hopefully. Because it was weird. And it would be really strange if Alex showed up at her family dinners or something. Just...weird. Because Alex was...Alex. He was Alex and he had sex with people and he flirted with people and he spread the syph. Or had spread the syph. She assumed he had actually gotten that treated by now.

"About time," Derek's voice greeted her as she walked into his office.

"Oh I'm so sorry I didn't get here fast enough," she rolled her eyes.

"You're supposed to appear the second I page you," he laughed softly.

"Of course I am," she shook her head. "So I have a question, but before I ask it...you didn't page me for work, did you?"

"I need you to take Mr. King for some tests in about half an hour but no, just wanted to see you."

"Okay," she smiled, falling into a chair. "Has Mark ever spread the syph?"

"Has Mark...what?"

"Spread the syph."

"Not that I know of...can I ask why?"

"Lexie wants to sleep with Alex."

"Karev?"

"Yes. My sister wants to sleep with Alex Karev."

"She can't do that."

"Exactly what I said!" Meredith groaned. "But he winked and she blushed and now...I think she's going to sleep with him. Or wants to sleep with him and it's...wrong and awkward and bad."

"She can do better than Karev," Derek frowned.

"She totally can," Meredith sighed.

"You told her not to, right?"

"No, Derek, I told her to go sleep with Karev. I even handed her condoms."

"So sarcastic," Derek rolled his eyes.

"Of course I told her it was wrong. I told her Alex was like Mark only worse because I figured Mark had never actually created a syph epidemic in the hospital."

"He hasn't," Derek shook his head. "All things considered...he's always been careful."

"Which makes Alex worse than him."

"Want me to threaten Karev?"

"Derek..." Meredith rolled her eyes.

"What? There's no Grey men to do the job."

"And you think I can't threaten Alex?"

"I know you can," he grinned. "But I can threaten him where it hurts.'

"Meaning?"

"Surgeries."

"You're not...you really think that's going to stop Alex?"

"It could."

"It's neuro. Everyone knows I'm on neuro most and Alex...Alex could probably care less about neuro. So I really, really doubt it's going to stop him from giving my sister the syph."

"Alex is obgyn, right?"

"He wants to be."

"Addie's going to be my sister-in-law soon."

"And you really think she's going to withhold surgeries from Alex just because she's marrying your brother?"

"I can try."

"I can handle Alex," she rolled her eyes.

"Fine," he sighed. "But when you need the big guns, you know where to find me."

"Of course I do."

"You woke up incredibly quietly this morning."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"You usually wake me up when you leave and you didn't this morning."

"You were tired," she shrugged.

"I was exhausted," he sighed. "Hannah went down for you okay last night?"

"Mostly," Meredith sighed.

"Mostly?" he asked, getting up from his chair to walk to the front of his desk and lean on it.

"Bedtime was a little later than eight thirty."

"What did she do?"

"She just...she wouldn't go," Meredith sighed. "She absolutely wouldn't go to bed. I...I called Mark."

"Oh Mer," Derek sighed. "Sorry."

"It's fine," she shrugged. "She went eventually."

"Did Mark actually have to go over to help?"

"Yeah," she looked down at her hands.

"I'll talk to Hannah about going to bed for you," Derek sighed.

"Okay," she whispered.

"There's still a lot of adjusting to do," he murmured as he moved to crouch in front of Meredith's chair. "You okay?"

"I'm good, Der," she nodded, smiling at him.

"Good," he grinned.

"I don't know how you do it though."

"I've had nearly seven years of practice," he shrugged. "It will come to you."

"Yeah...but those temper tantrums..."

"She had a temper tantrum?"

"According to Mark it was a mini one."

"I'll definitely be talking to her," Derek sighed. "And those...make you want to sit down and cry, don't they?"

"Yeah..." she sighed. "They really do."

"I'm not actually sure what to do about that feeling."

"Mark said alcohol helps," she giggled slightly.

"He would," he rolled his eyes.

"But it was fine," she sighed. "She went to bed and then I went to bed and you didn't get home until stupid late."

"Yeah, that sucked," he sighed.

"It really did."

"I'll try to avoid late surgeries again until things are a bit easier at home."

"It's fine, Derek," she shook her head. "I've got it. Or...Mark's got it. But it's fine."

"I know you have it," he smiled. "But I'd rather do this the easier way that doesn't leave you wanting to cry."

"I was fine."

"Meredith fine or actually fine?"

"I hate when you ask that," she giggled slightly.

"Avoiding...definitely Meredith fine."

"You're such an ass sometimes."

"You love me."

"I do," she smiled, leaning forward and kissing him quickly. "Even if you are an old man."

"What?" he frowned.

"Lexie called you an old man," she giggled. "A hot old man. But an old man."

"Well in that case Alex can sleep with her."

"Okay...that? That was mean."

"So is calling me old."

"But wishing the syph on my sister?"

"Mer...he doesn't still have it," Derek laughed softly.

"You don't know that for sure. He could have gotten it again."

"Fine," Derek rolled his eyes. "No Alex sleeping with your sister."

"Thank you."

"You owe me."

"That can probably be arranged," she giggled.

"Good," he smiled lightly.

"So Mr. King needs labs?" she asked after a second.

"He does," Derek sighed.

"I should get on that then," she sighed, standing up.

"He can wait a minute," he smirked.

"Oh can he?" she smiled.

"He can," Derek grinned, wrapping his arms around Meredith.

"So this was the reason you paged me," she laughed as he ducked his head down to kiss her.

"It might be," he laughed softly against her lips. "It definitely wasn't to talk about Mark's sexual health."

"Sorry...I had to ask," she giggled, nibbling gently on his lower lip.

"Hmmm..." he breathed. "Of course."

"Lexie says this should probably stop since we live together."

"Lexie may be insane."

"Probably," Meredith whispered, deepening the kiss slightly before pulling back. "I have labs. And interns."

"I know," he sighed. "Finish this tonight after Hannah's asleep?"

"Definitely," she breathed, pulling out of his arms and heading towards the door. "Love you."

"Love you too," he grinned.

"See you later," she smiled at him, leaving his office.

Last night had been hard without him being at home and she had needed that. She had needed the five minutes alone with him to return to sanity and just breathe or something. Because last night had been all about adjusting and Hannah wasn't doing it so well. Or she was, considering her age. But it had been a long night without Derek and she had needed to see him. Really see him.

And now she felt entirely better. Horny, but entirely better. She had known this wasn't going to be easy. Mark had even told her it wasn't going to be easy. Everyone had told her it wasn't going to be easy. But it was entirely worth it. She knew that. And seeing him...it made it all bearable. She and Derek were amazing, and she couldn't wait until they could get to their home and spend the night together.


You kissed me and every piece went back in place, every pain got erased
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oncetherewasaway Dec 27 2007, 01:34 PM Post #3
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McEditor

 Disclaimer: If we owned Grey's, Katie would wake up every morning going, "Yay! I get to go to work!" And days off would suck terribly. But we definitely don't own Grey's.

He didn't want to move. He opened his eyes and knew that sooner or later he'd have to move but he didn't want to. After amazingly silent sex the night before they had collapsed and now Meredith was curled tightly in his arms, a soft smile on her sleeping face and he didn't actually want to even think of moving from this spot ever again. It wasn't possible but it sounded nice.

The alarm had gone off at some point, he knew that much. He knew the alarm had gone off and Meredith had rolled over on top of him to turn it off before settling back down next to him, both of them falling back asleep immediately. He wasn't entirely sure how long ago that had been, but it couldn't have been longer than fifteen minutes. Which meant he could sleep for another fifteen. He held her tighter and let his eyes fall shut again as he kissed the top of her head.

She moaned softly in his arms and hugged him tighter. They had a very strange habit of clinging to each other in the morning and he could only assume it had something to do with them knowing the day ahead would be crazy. Not that he was complaining, he loved the clinging to each other. It was definitely his favourite way to sleep, even if it was just for a stolen fifteen minutes.

He sighed as he heard the door creak open slowly. Hannah was up early, entirely too early. It was probably a good thing though. He could get her ready for school and then Meredith could drive her. Definitely a good thing. He held Meredith a little closer as he felt the bed jostle slightly from both Hannah and Eskimo jumping up. Eskimo turned three times and laid down at the foot of the bed, while Hannah crawled towards them and effectively separated them, cuddling between them. "Morning, Daddy," she whispered. "Morning Meredith."

"Morning Han," Derek murmured, ducking his head down to kiss her cheek lightly.

She turned slightly more towards Meredith, who had become her favorite cuddle buddy in the past couple of months. He wasn't entirely sure why, but his little girl always seemed to cuddle with Meredith a little bit more in the mornings. It was entiredly adorable and he couldn't help but smile as he turned slightly, watching as she kissed Meredith's cheek. "Are you sleeping, Meredith?"

"Was," Meredith sighed, opening her eyes slightly. "Morning Han."

"Morning," Hannah giggled. "Guess what."

"What?" Meredith grinned.

"Uncle Monkey's here," Hannah smiled widely, wrapping her arms around Meredith's neck. "With donuts and chocolate milk."

"Unlce...crap," Derek exclaimed sitting up quickly. "What time is it?"

"Seven twenty-five," Hannah chirped proudly.

"Sh...crap," Derek shook his head, jumping out of bed.

"What?" Meredith frowned as Hannah cuddled against her side.

"I'm supposed to be out of here in five minutes," Derek groaned, heading toward the closet.

"Didn't you set the alarm?" Meredith asked, climbing out of bed, Hannah quickly following her.

"Yeah and you turned it off."

"Sorry," Meredith sighed. "Come on, Han, let's go get breakfast and then Daddy will get you ready for school before he leaves."

"Mer...you're going to have to do that," Derek sighed. "I don't have time."

"But you always get me ready for school," Hannah mirrored Meredith's frown.

"I know," Derek nodded. "But Daddy's running really really late so Meredith's going to help you this morning."

"It's okay, Han, we'll figure it out," Meredith sighed, taking her hand. "Let's eat first and then we'll find something for you to wear."

"Thanks Mer," Derek sighed gratefully as he pulled his shirt over his head.

"No problem," she sighed, kissing his cheek quickly. "Morning, by the way."

"Morning," he smiled.

"Han," Mark's voice called, "I told you to get their lazy butts out of bed. I guess I'm going to have to eat all your donuts."

"Come on, Han," Meredith giggled, leading her out of the bedroom.

"You better not eat my donuts, Uncle Monkey!" Hannah exclaimed.

"I'm sure he won't," Meredith sighed as she led Hannah the rest of the way downstairs.

"Morning," Mark smirked as Hannah ran up to him, climbing ontop of the chair to look into the box of donuts. "You're lucky, Hannah Banana, I was thinking about giving some to Eskimo too."

"Eskimo can't eat donuts," Hannah sighed. "Daddy said so."

"And when has your dad ever been right?" Mark laughed, kissing her curls.

"Meredith says it too."

"Meredith's wrong too," Mark shrugged.

"And Uncle Monkey is crazy," Meredith rolled her eyes.

"That's not nice, Grey," Mark shook his head. "And to think I brought you donuts and saved you from Shep's muesli crap."

"I'm just happy you woke us up when you did," Meredith sighed.

"Daddy's really, really late," Hannah reported, taking a bite of a chocolate donut.

"Wonder whose fault that is?" Mark smirked.

"You're disgusting, Mark," Meredith rolled her eyes.

"Just stating the facts, Grey."

"What's the facts?" Hannah asked, reaching for another donut.

"Nothing, Hannah," Meredith shook her head. "Eat up so we can get you ready."

"I'm not getting ready," Hannah shook her head.

"And why not?"

"I'm sick," Hannah sighed, finishing off the donut and reaching for another. "My tummy hurts."

"You know Daddy only lets you have two," Meredith reminded her. "And you're obviously not sick."

"I am," Hannah insisted, looking at the donut in her hands and then taking a big bite. "Don't tell Daddy, Meredith. It's a secret."

"Hannah...put the donut down and go get ready."

"I'm sick," Hannah stated firmly.

"You're clearly not sick."

"I am," Hannah faked a cough. "Right, Uncle Monkey? I'm very, very sick."

"Well...if you're sick you should definitely put down the donut, sick kids don't get to eat donuts."

"Sick kids get ice cream," Hannah nodded. "Jenny got her 'sils cut out and she got lots and lots of ice cream. I gotta get my 'sils cut out."

"Hannah, yuo don't just get your tonsils cut out," Meredith sighed. "And being sick is no fun, even if you get ice cream."

"And she got to stay home from school and everything," Hannah continued. "So I'm real sick and I gotta get my 'sils cut out."

"You seemed fine this morning," Meredith pointed out.

"It was fast sick."

"Tonselitis isn't fast sick."

"Yeah it is," Hannah nodded. "I'm real sick and I can't go to school. Cause I gotta get my 'sils cut out. But don't tell Daddy."

"Daddy would have to sign for you to get your tonsils out," Mark pointed out.

"You can sign for him," Hannah giggled. "Like when I got in trouble at school and you signed the letter, 'member, Uncle Monkey?"

"I did," Mark nodded. "But this is different."
"But I'm sick."

"No you're not," Meredith groaned. "We have to get you ready for school."

"Nope," Hannah shook her head. "Meredith, we can stay home sick together and watch movies and stuff."

"As fun as that sounds neither of us are actually sick."

"Hannah Rose Shepherd," Mark sighed, "if you don't get upstairs right now and start getting ready, I'll tell your dad. And he'll get mad and you'll get grounded."

"But I am sick," Hannah tried again.

"Hannah," Meredith groaned as Derek came into the kitchen, pulling a sweater over his button down.

"What's going on?" Derek asked, noticing the frowns surrounding him.

"Nothing," Hannah shook her head, reaching for her chocolate milk.

"Okay...don't have a lot of time here. What?"

"Hannah's apparently sick," Meredith groaned. "And refuses to get ready for school."

"You were fine this morning," Derek frowned at his daughter.

"Meredith!" Hannah exclaimed. "It was a secret, 'member!"

"Hannah..." Derek's frown deepened. "If you're sick you have to go back to bed and stay in bed all day."

"I'm not bed sick," Hannah shook her head. "I'm couch sick."

"If you're not bed sick you can go to school. Now take Meredith upstairs so she can help you get ready."

"But, Daddy..."

"No but daddy," Derek shook his head, kissing her quickly. "I have to go but if you keep giving Meredith a hard time she'll tell me."

"Derek, I've got this, and you're late," Meredith sighed as Hannah pouted.

"I know," he nodded, kissing Meredith quickly. "Thanks. Love you."

"Love you too," she smiled.

"Love you, Hannah," Derek smiled as he headed toward the door.

"Love you, Daddy," Hannah sighed, crossing her arms over her chest and staring at Meredith.

"Hannah, you heard him," Meredith nodded firmly. "Upstairs now."

"I'm sick."

"No, you're not," Meredith shook her head.

"And you weren't apposed to tell," Hannah frowned. "Friends don't tell secrets."

"Hannah, if you were sick Daddy would need to know. And that's beside the point...as you're not sick. Go upstairs."

"You know what?" Mark sighed, backing away from the counter and scooping Hannah up in his arms, "you're going upstairs. And you're going to get ready for school and then I'm going to take you. And then I'm talking to your dad at work."

"Mark...I can do it," Meredith sighed.

"Yeah, good luck with that," Mark rolled his eyes, holding a struggling Hannah in his arms.

"Fine," Meredith nodded.

"Fine," Mark agreed. "Come on, Han."

"I hate you," Hannah whined.

"Yeah, I know you do," Mark shrugged, walking out of the kitchen.

Meredith grabbed a donut and tried to hold the tears back. She wasn't going to cry. She wasn't. She would get on top of this. Hannah was happy having her here, Hannah was happy with the three of them living together. She just wasn't used to Meredith doing the adult thing but she'd adjust. She had to adjust. This had to get better. And in mean time, Meredith wasn't going to cry.

It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry


Disclaimer: We figure it's only a matter of time before this has to happen on the show, it's only natural. And we'd hope it would happen like this as that would be too funny for words. If we owned the show it would happen like this.

"Okay, Han," Meredith sighed as she looked at the entirely destroyed living room. Which was partially her fault. Or maybe entirely her fault. She had been the one who had come up with the idea for a secret fort in the living room. Except now Derek would would be home any minute after a long day at work and he definitely wouldn't be amused. "Your dad's going to kill us."

"Nu-uh," Hannah shook her head. "We can clean it."

"In the next," Meredith looked down at her watch, "twenty minutes?"

"Yep," Hannah smiled confidently. "I'm good at cleaning."

"You're also good at making messes," Meredith giggled and then nodded. "Cleaning. We can clean it up and he'll never know."

"It will be our secret," Hannah giggled.

"Exactly," Meredith grinned. "Our secret. So you grab the blankets and I'll start putting the books away."

"Okay," Hannah nodded, grabbing a blanket off the floor.

"Because I'm pretty sure your dad would kill me if he saw this," Meredith sighed, putting the pillows back on the couch before grabbing the books and walking towards the bookshelf.

"Daddy says killing is bad," Hannah sighed. "He'll just yell. And he never yells so you know you're in really big bad trouble if he yells."

"Very, very true," Meredith nodded. "And we can't get in really big bad trouble right before Christmas."

"No," Hannah shook her head quickly. "Santa doesn't come if I'm bad. And I asked Santa for a new tutu so he has to come."

"He definitely does," Meredith grinned, picking up the remnants of their paper war with Eskimo. "Hopefully your daddy will get caught in traffic and he'll be late."

"So we have more time," Hannah giggled.

"Exactly," Meredith nodded, freezing when she heard a car pull up to the house. "Oh crap."

"Oh oh," Hannah breathed. "We could tell him Uncle Monkey came over and did it."

"I think Uncle Monkey was working today," Meredith groaned, chewing on her lower lip. "Could we tell him Eskimo did it?"

"Maybe," Hannah frowned.

"Or that a bomb went off and we were lucky to be alive," Meredith sighed, her frown deepening as the doorbell rang. "Okay...that's...maybe it isn't Daddy."

"Daddy doesn't ring the door," Hannah nodded.

"He doesn't," Meredith agreed, putting a book down and moving to the front door, opening it to reveal an older woman. "Um...hi."

"Oh...hello," the older woman frowned slightly. "Is Derek home?"

"Nana!" Hannah exclaimed, running past Meredith and hugging the older woman tightly.

"There's my Hannah bug," the woman smiled, hugging Hannah tightly.

Nana. Nana. Hannah called Derek's mom Nana. Which meant...crap. This was defintiely not good. Definitely and entirely not good. "Daddy's at the store," Hannah informed her grandmother.

"Oh is he?" Derek's mom asked. "I guess that means he'll be home soon enough."

"In twenty minutes," Hannah nodded.

"Well, in that case how about I come inside and wait for him."

"Okay," Hannah grinned, grabbing her hand and leading her inside. "You missed my top secret fort, Nana. It was...it was really cool and me and Eskimo had paper wars and you can't tell Daddy cause I gotta clean it 'fore he gets home or I'll get in really big bad trouble and I can't get in really big bad trouble or Santa won't bring me my new tutu."

"Won't say a word."

"Good," Hannah nodded. "I gotta clean so I'll be right back, okay?"

"Of course," the older woman nodded.

"Okay," Hannah grinned, running back towards the living room, leaving Meredith rocking slowly back and forth on her heels. This was incredibly bad. Worse than bad. Really, really bad and she definitely didn't like how Mrs. Shepherd was looking at her. She was screwed. Completely screwed.

"I'm Katherine Shepherd...Hannah's grandmother," the woman nodded slightly. "I don't believe we've met."

"Oh," Meredith breathed. "We...no we haven't and um...Derek's...he'll be home any minute. Like...any minute and then you can talk to him and I'll...Meredith. I'm Meredith."

"Nice to meet you, Meredith," Mrs. Shepherd nodded.

"You too," Meredith sighed, staring at her watch. Derek needed to be home now. Right now. Because this was...this was bad. Really, really bad.

"I hope Hannah hasn't given you any problems today," Mrs. Shepherd said kindly.

"What?" Meredith frowned.

"She can be a handful. I love her dearly but she's not always the easiest to deal with. Derek's too soft with her."

"Oh," Meredith's frown deepened. "No she's...I mean she's great. She's really great and...handful yeah but she's great and...sometimes she's a handful and tough but I...usually she's great."

"Are you okay, dear?" Mrs. Shepherd frowned.

"I'm...I have...something in the...kitchen or..." Meredith took a deep breath. "I'll be right back. Are you good...no of course you're good here with Hannah. She's your grand daughter so obviously you're good with her. I'll be right back."

"Okay," Mrs. Shepherd nodded slowly.

"Okay," Meredith sighed, grabbing her cell phone from the nearby coffee table and making her way towards the back of the house, quickly dialing Derek's number. He had to be home. Now. Because of all of the ways she had planned on meeting Derek's mom, this hadn't been one of them. She definitely hadn't been planning on rambling. She had thought she'd be cool and collected and entirely together. But instead...his mom thought she was the babysitter.

She hadn't even known how they had avoided something like this happening for so long. She had spent more time at Derek's in the past months than she had at her own home and yet somehow their paths had never crossed. It had been the perfect mix of avoidance and luck and it had been working for them. Until now, which they probably should have seen this coming. "What am I forgetting?" Derek greeted her.

"Where are you?" she demanded into the phone, trying to keep her voice down as she ducked into the pantry.

"At the store, Mer. We need food."

"No. No we definitely don't need food. Food isn't...we have food. Well, we apparently have soup and macaroni and cheese because I'm staring at it right now. You know, we actually have three boxes of macaroni and cheese. Which actually makes sense considering there's a six year old here. But still...a lot of macaroni and cheese. And chicken noodle soup."

"I'm not actually sure if I should ask why you're in the pantry or why you're obviously freaking out."

"I'm in the pantry because I'm hiding from your mother. Which then answers your question about why I'm freaking out. Because your mother is here. Your mom. Your mom who has no idea we're dating. She's here. Right now. Which means you have to come home. Now."

"My mom's there?"

"Yes, your mom's here," Meredith groaned, poking her head out as she opened the door slightly and then closing it again. "She's in the living room. With Hannah. And I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm the babysitter or something."

"Shit," Derek murmured. "Mer...I have a cart full of food."

"That's nice. Your mom's here."

"But...food."

"Derek....your mom. Your mom who has no idea I even exist is here. In the house. And she thinks I'm the babysitter which technically I kind of sort of am except I'm the babysitter who lives here and is screwing her son. Which she doesn't know about. And she's here. And she's...she's your mom. And I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm insane. She's probably going to tell you to fire me or something."

"I'll leave the food and we'll come back for it later," Derek sighed. "On my way home."

"How long?"

"Ten minutes if traffic is good, can you manage?"

"I...what do I do? Do you think she'll notice if I'm in the pantry the entire time? Because Derek...she thinks I'm the babysitter and...what do I do? What do I say? Oh god, she's going to hate me. She's going to completely hate me."

"She won't hate you," Derek sighed. "Just...let her talk to Hannah, they adore talking. Just...stay busy in the kitchen or something."

"You're going to let me do stuff in the kitchen?"

"Not cooking stuff just...wipe the counter down or something."

"Derek, she thinks I'm the babysitter. Not the maid. Babysitters babysit or whatever."

"True...just...tell her you have to make a phone call and call Lexie or someone. She can't talk if you're on the phone."

"Doesn't that make me a terrible babysitter?"

"Which would be an issue if you were actually a baby sitter."

"I don't need to give her a reason to hate me, Derek," Meredith groaned. "Is she nice? I mean, she seems nice but is she nice?"

"She's nice," he laughed softly. "She can be scary but definitely nice."

"Well, you have to say she's nice. She's your mom and she raised you and...so if I went out there she wouldn't like kill me or anything?"

"She definitely won't."

"Okay," Meredith sighed. "Ten minutes. I can do ten minutes."

"You can. Just...don't tell her about us."

"Wasn't planning on it, Derek."

"Just making sure," he sighed. "I love you."

"I love you too," she whispered, opening the door. "And get home fast."

"I will."

"Okay," Meredith sighed. "Bye."

"Bye Mer."

She hung up the phone quickly and sighed as she walked out of the pantry. It was Derek's mom. Who was apparently nice. This actually might not be all that bad. Derek would be home in ten minutes and he'd talk to her and they'd be okay. Unless of course she was dead. Because there was a possibility Mrs. Shepherd had seen the pictures on the mantel and figured it all out and now wanted to kill her.

It had to be okay. She just had to keep breathing or whatever Derek would be telling her to do right now if he was at home instead of off doing stupid things at the grocery store. Breathing was good and she'd just concentrate on that. Then ten minutes would be over and Derek would be here and he'd have a plan on how to handle this. Derek always had a plan.

He was Derek. He had to know how to handle this. He had to have planned for this at some point. He had to know how to explain all of this to his mom. Because she was his mom and he had to know what to say to make sure she didn't kill her. He definitely had to know that. So they'd be okay. They'd figure this out and survive this and everything would be perfectly okay.

"So does Meredith watch you a lot when Daddy works?" she heard Mrs. Shepherd ask as she approached the living room. Crap. They had gotten Hannah into the idea of not saying anything, of keeping their secret but specific questions might mess her up.

"Yep," Hannah chirped. "And when she has to work then Uncle Monkey does. Or you do."

"And what does Meredith do?"

"She's a doctor. Like Daddy."

"She is? Than why does she babysit you?"

"Cause she has to," Hannah giggled. "Or else I'd be home all alone. And she's my bestest friend in the whole world."

"That's great, Hannah," Mrs. Shepherd smiled.

"Yep," Hannah smiled. "Daddy says Meredith loves us both a lot. But in different ways."

"Oh...Meredith loves you both?"

"Yeah."

"How does she love Daddy?"

"I don't know," Hannah shrugged. "She's his girlfriend so she loves him a lot." Crap. She had said it. Mrs. Shepherd was good. Really good. Because Hannah had just said it and...Meredith groaned quietly as she fought the urge to call Derek back.

"She's his girlfriend?"

"Yeah," Hannah nodded and then clapped her hand over her mouth. "Oh oh."

"Oh oh?"

"I wasn't apposed to tell you," Hannah groaned. "Daddy said it was the biggest secret ever."

"I see," Mrs. Shepherd sighed. "Is Meredith nice?"

"Yeah," Hannah nodded. "She's the nicest. Well, most of the time. Sometimes she says I have to go to bed. Or that I have to clean my room. But she's really nice."

"So she comes over a lot to help out when Daddy works?"

"No," Hannah shook her head slowly. "She lives with me and Daddy."

"She...what?"

Crap. Crap. Crap. This was bad. This entirely bad. Completely bad. "So uh....that's taken care of," she said, walking into the living room as Hannah opened her mouth to answer.

"I can just imagine," Mrs. Shepherd sighed, looking her up and down in a way she hadn't before, before her eyes flew around the room, obviously finally taking in some of the pictures that Derek had always managed to hide from her. "So when did you say my son would be home?"

"Um...less than ten minutes," Meredith sighed, wringing her hands.

"Good," Mrs. Shepherd nodded. "It seems I have to talk to him."

"Oh," Meredith breathed. "I...he should be back soon. Or soonish. Ten minutes, less than ten minutes so soon. Really soon and you can talk and...you can talk to him."

"Hannah tells me you're a doctor."

"I...second year resident," she murmured.

"I assume you met Derek when you were an intern."

"I...yes," Meredith nodded. "He was my attending and...yes."

"Interesting."

Interesting. That was probably code for slut or something. Slutty intern who slept with her bosses. This was just...Derek had to be home. He had to be home right now before Mrs. Shepherd killed her with her eyes. Derek's eyes. "I uh...can I get you anything, Mrs. Shepherd? Water or wine or...something?"

"A glass of water would be nice, dear."

"Right. Water," Meredith nodded. "I...water. I can do water. I'll...Derek's home!" she exclaimed as she heard a car pull up just outside the house.

"Good," Mrs. Shepherd nodded.

"Good, that's...definitely good," Meredith started to back out of the room as she heard Derek running quickly up the walkway. She opened the door quickly and pulled him into a tight hug. "She knows."

"But...how?"

"Hannah told her."

"Which is what we get for trusting a chatty six year old with our secret."

"And she knows I live her. And...she keeps looking at me. And she asked...she knows we met when I was an intern and...Derek...she knows."

"It's okay," he murmured, kissing her quickly. "She had to eventually. Did she say anything to you?"

"Interesting. That's all she said. She said interesting. Is that...what does that mean?"

"I have no idea," he groaned. "I'm probably dead."

"Derek Michael Shepherd," Mrs. Shepherd came into the foyer.

"Hi Mom," Derek grinned sheepishly.

"Do not hi mom me," Mrs. Shepherd frowned and then turned to Meredith. "Meredith, please take Hannah upstairs while I speak to my son."

"Of course," Meredith nodded quickly.

"Thank you," Mrs. Shepherd nodded, watching as Meredith went into the living room to get Hannah and then turned to Derek. "What exactly do you to say for yourself?"

"I was going to tell you."

"Of course you were," Mrs. Shepherd sighed. "Tell me now."

"That's Meredith, Mom. My girlfriend. Who I fully plan on marrying one day."


Disclaimer: So we're now starting to think there may be rewrites or something. Yep, maybe they saw fan backlash and there's no more Lauren Stamille. That's called Denial-land. If we owned Grey's, you wouldn't have to live in Denial-land. Just happy Mer/Der land.

He hadn't wanted her to find out this way. He had wanted to her to know, for the last few weeks he had been toying with ideas of how to tell her, but none of them had included Meredith calling him in a complete panic telling him to get home. That hadn't been exactly what he had been hoping for and he knew his mom. He knew he was in all kinds of trouble. It was really really bad.

He wasn't sure he had seen her this angry since he was in college and he and Mark had stumbled home after a night out drinking on his twenty-first birthday. And when his mom got angry, she yelled. And she pulled guilt trips. And even though he had just told her what she had been waiting to hear since the day he had finished med school, that he wanted to get married, he had a feeling he was in for one hell of a guilt trip.

"Mom..." Derek cleared his throat. "You're going to say something eventually...right?"

"Derek, I'm not exactly sure what to say," she frowned. "As from what I understand, she was your intern and she now lives with you. How long have you been seeing this girl?"

"Nearly a year," he replied quietly.

"Nearly...nearly a year, Derek?" Mrs. Shepherd demanded. "You've been with this girl for nearly a year and didn't think to tell me? Didn't think to inform me that you were in a serious relationship?"

"I thought to," Derek said quickly. "It was...we had a lot of issues to work through and I thought...I wanted to wait. Sorry."

"You thought to? Derek, you've been with a girl for nearly a year. A girl who was apparently your intern and who seems to be quite close to Hannah. Given that fact alone, you should have told me."

"I know, I'm sorry. Meredith and I...it was really complicated."

"Complicated? Is it not also complicated that the poor girl was kept a secret? Kept a secret like common street trash? She's the woman you plan on marrying, Derek, not a prostitute."

"Mom, it wasn't like that. Meredith doesn't do families and...she was entirely fine with you not knowing."

"And what about Hannah?" Mrs. Shepherd continued. "You used a six year old to keep a secret from me?"

"I...we...yeah, sorry."

"Besides the fact that you never tell a six year old to keep a secret, as they most certainly can't, you used your daughter, Derek. You told her to lie. What sort of lesson is that?"

"A really bad one," Derek sighed. "I know it was bad, I know lying is bad. Hannah knows that too."

"Does she? She's spent the last year lying to me."

"We kind of played it as secret keeping."

"Secret-keeping," Mrs. Shepherd nodded. "Secret keeping from her grandmother. Lying, Derek. Good Lord, no wonder she's been acting out."

"That had nothing to do with the ly...secret. She's just...there's been a lot of changes, Mom."

"Apparently," Mrs. Shepherd sighed. "Of course, you weren't keeping a secret from me, Derek. How many times have you lied to me in the past year?"

"I don't actually know...sorry."

"Every time you've asked me to watch your daughter, every time you told me you were tired and wanted a night without your daughter, complained about a tough week, you were lying, Derek. Lying about a woman you apparently love, but don't find it important to actually tell me about her."

"I love her more than anything, Mom. I was just trying to do what was best for my family."

"I'm your mother, Derek."

"And Meredith and Hannah are my family. This year has been full of ups and downs."

"How much longer were you planning on lying to me?"

"I don't know. I was trying to figure out a way to tell you."

"You could have told me about her and then asked that I give you time. I would have done so, Derek."

"Sorry," he murmured. "I wasn't sure if you would."

"I just can't believe you've spent the last year lying to me," Mrs. Shepherd sighed. "Have I ever given you a reason to lie to me, Derek? Am I such a horrible mother that you need to be ashamed of me?"

"Of course not," Derek shook his head. "Mer and I...it's been really rocky, Mom. I didn't...I took the easy way out."

"Rocky?"

"She's my intern. And she grew up in...her life hasn't been easy and this is...I have a six year old daughter. There was a lot of adjustments for me and Hannah and for her. She's still adjusting to being a parent figure, I didn't want to bring anything else in."

"Anything else? Such as your mother?"

"Such as my very large family."

"I'm not asking you to send out an e-mail announcing your relationship with her, Derek," Mrs. Shepherd sighed. "I'm simply asking to be apart of your life on some level. I feel I've deserved that much."

"You do, Mom. But with Mer...she's amazingly complicated, I was just trying to do anything to make this work with her."

"Of course she's complicated. Having an affair with an intern is complicated."

"It's not an affair, it was never an affair. She's always been more than that. And it's not what I meant."

"She was your intern, Derek. How old does that make her? In her twenties?"

"No, Mom, she took time off. She's 33."

"And yet you hid her. As if you're ashamed of her. Don't you think she deserves better?"

"She deserves everything," Derek groaned. "It wasn't hiding...she was good with this, she loved the hiding."

"I can only imagine what you told her about me to make her think she needed to hide."

"I didn't tell her anything," Derek sighed. "Her family life has been a mess, especially in the past year or so. She wasn't jumping up and down to meet any more family."

"I wasn't asking to meet her, Derek. I was simply asking to be made aware of what's going on in your life. And my grand daughter's life. She's been acting out, and, as usual, you're much too soft with her. If I'm going to watch her, I need to know what is going on in her life."

"Mom, I know and I'm sorry. But can you honestly say that if I came home and said I was dating the girl I wanted to marry you wouldn't have found a way to meet her?"

"If you had asked me to wait, I would have."

"I find that hard to believe."

"Derek, this is not the time to develop an attitude."

"Sorry, Mom."

"I just can't believe you've spent the last year lying to me. And probably would have spent another if I hadn't come today."

"No, I was planning on telling you soon."

"I should hope so."

"I was," Derek nodded firmly. "My going plan was after Christmas dinner."

"Was she going to come with you to Christmas dinner?"

"No."

"Well now she is."

"What?"

"She's coming to Christmas dinner," Mrs. Shepherd nodded.

"Oh..." Derek sighed. "I don't know if she can, Mom. She has...a stepmom and some half sisters that probably are having dinner."

"And when the two of you are married, will she still be avoiding the Shepherd family dinners?"

"It's not avoiding, Mom. She has her own family."

"And she'll still have her own family when you're married."

"I know that," Derek nodded. "And we'll make plans around both of you...but...it's two days before Christmas. I don't know if she'll want to call Susan and cancel."

"Have you met her family?"

"Just her youngest sister. She's an intern at the hospital."

"I'm assuming her step mother at least knows about the two of you."

"Lexie is worse at keeping secrets than Hannah is."

"So I was the only person kept entirely in the dark about this?"

"Well...umm...the sisters too."

"Your sisters don't need to know, Derek. They don't watch Hannah on an almost weekly basis."

"I'm sorry, Mom. I don't know what else to say."

"You're not engaged yet, are you?"

"No, we're not. Meredith isn't ready for that yet."

"Well thank God for that at least."

"I would have told you before it got to that point."

"I just find it incredibly hard to believe you've hid it from me for this long. Your brother has settled down, your brother is engaged, and I've been wondering if it was ever going to happen for you and here you are living with your girlfriend."

"I know, I'm sorry, Mom."

"I hope you are. I thought the girl was the babysitter."

"I know, she told me."

"I'm sure she called you to panic."

"She did," he nodded.

"That poor girl," Mrs. Shepherd shook her head.

"I didn't want you to find out this way," Derek sighed. "I love her...a lot. I wanted to do it right."

"Best intentions, I understand," Mrs. Shepherd nodded. "Of course, you might have thought about introducing me to her before asking her to move in."

"Mom, asking her to move in was terrifying enough."

"How long has she lived here?"

"Just a few weeks."

"Derek, I can't believe you asked a girl to live with you. Last time we spoke about something like this, you were avoiding serious relationships until Hannah was older."

"I was. And then I met Meredith."

"She seems nice. A little nervous, but nice."

"She's amazing, Mom," Derek smiled widely. "You'll love her."

"I'm sure I will."

"Did she ramble?"

"She did. She sounded a little like Hannah."

"She does that," Derek grinned. "I really am sorry I kept her from you. It's not anything to do with who she is. She's amazing."

"I'm sure she is," Mrs. Shepherd nodded. "Can I meet her properly now?"

"Of course," Derek nodded. "She's probably in Hannah's room...so upstairs or down here?"

"Down here, I think. And I also think Hannah should stay upstairs for this."

"Probably," Derek sighed, opening his cellphone and sending Meredith a quick text message.

She came down a few seconds later, her hair down from the ponytail it had been up in earlier, a little bit of lip gloss on. "You, uh...Hannah's upstairs. Reading," she nodded carefully.

"Thanks," Derek nodded, kissing her cheek quickly as he wrapped an arm around her back. "Apparently we now have to do this the right way. So Meredith...this is my mom, Katherine Shepherd. Mom, this is my girlfriend, Meredith."

"It's um...it's nice to meet you, Mrs. Shepherd," Meredith murmured, leaning into Derek.

"It's nice to meet you too, Meredith," Mrs. Shepherd grinned. "I'm sorry for our awkward first meeting...of course that's neither of our faults."

"Mom," Derek groaned.

"It's the truth, Derek," Mrs. Shepherd sighed.

"It's...well, it's kind of my fault too," Meredith whispered.

"Yes, but it was mainly Derek's. I understand not being ready to meet me, I was terrified meeting Derek's grandparents. But that doesn't excuse Derek not telling me"

"You were terrified meeting Nan and Pop?" Derek raised an eyebrow.

"Of course I was," Mrs. Shepherd shrugged. "Meeting an entire new family, one you want to be part of, is never easy. Especially when they're Shepherds."

"That's true," Meredith nodded. "I...apparently it's a big family and I don't...I don't do families. I have a family but they're new and I'm still...but I don't do families."

"That's what Derek said," Mrs. Shepherd nodded. "I also told him you are welcome to come over to our house for Christmas dinner but he said something about plans with that...new family."

"Oh," Meredith bit her lip. "I...yeah. Christmas dinner and...but if you want me there then I can cancel or something. I just...new family and stuff."

"It's up to you, dear. I understand your own family has to come first at the moment."

"Maybe...maybe next year," Meredith nodded as Derek rubbed her back.

"Next year sounds perfect," Derek nodded. "Maybe we can go to Susan's for Thanksgiving and Mom's for Christmas."

"That...that works," she nodded. "And Susan...she'd be okay with that."

"Good," Derek smiled slightly, kissing Meredith's cheek lightly. "That work for you, Mom?"

"That works perfectly," Mrs. Shepherd smiled widely.

"Great," Derek grinned.

"Yeah," Meredith nodded. "That's...that's great."

"I'd invite you to stay for supper, Mom, but our meal is sitting in a cart at the grocery store," Derek laughed softly.

"And what exactly are you planning on feeding my grandchild?"

"Not quite sure yet"

"We have a lot of macaroni and cheese," Meredith murmured and then looked up. "Not that...I mean, she's a kid. She needs more than macaroni and cheese, so we'll find something. But there is macaroni and cheese but that obviously isn't the only thing we're going to feed her. Because she needs more and..."

"It's kind of adorable, isn't it?" Derek smiled to his mom.

"What is?" Meredith frowned.

"The rambling," Derek grinned.

"I...I'm sorry," Meredith sighed, turning back to Mrs. Shepherd. "I ramble when I'm nervous. Not that I'm nervous. I mean, you seem really nice and you're Derek's mom and I'm living with him so...we had to meet at some point. I just didn't think some point would be today after secret forts and paper wars and two days before Christmas. But I'm not nervous."

"It's perfectly okay to be nervous," Mrs. Shepherd laughed softly.

"Oh," Meredith sighed. "Okay. Well...I'm...there's macaroni and cheese. Hannah likes mac and cheese."

"She does," Derek nodded. "We've got to have something in the freezer too."

"Probably," Meredith nodded, still leaning into Derek.

"So Mom...want to stay for mac and cheese and whatever is hiding in our freezer?" Derek asked.

"That sounds wonderful, dear. And it will give me a chance to get to know Meredith a little better," Mrs. Shepherd smiled.

"Yep," Meredith murmured. "That's...good. Really good."

"And of course to see my granddaughter to make sure she's being good before Christmas."

"Of course," Derek laughed. "She's been being an angel."

"You always think she's been an angel, Derek," Mrs. Shepherd frowned. "It's rarely the case."

"She's a good kid, Mom," Derek sighed.

"She is," Mrs. Shepherd nodded. "Just incredibly spoiled and you're much too soft on her. And with what she's been going through lately. Of course, it all makes sense now."

"Mom, we're not discussing this right now," Derek groaned.

"No, of course we're not," Mrs. Shepherd nodded, taking Meredith's hand. "Come on, Meredith, we'll let my terrible liar of a son cook us dinner while we talk."

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oncetherewasaway Dec 27 2007, 01:36 PM Post #4
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 Disclaimer: If we owned the show we probably wouldn't give Derek a new love interest...no matter how casual of love interest it is. Even if it's just flirting we wouldn't do it, at all. And if we did do it...she'd have a better name than Rose.


Derek sighed as he walked into their bedroom that night, running his hand over his face. For whatever reason, Hannah had been entirely against going to bed tonight, something about Christmas Eve being tomorrow and then Christmas. She was always like this around Christmas, but tonight was the first time since she was three that he just wanted her to fall asleep.

Tonight had been long. It had been good, at least better than he had expected it to go but still it had been completely long. He wanted to collapse into Meredith's arms and all but forget that it had finally happened. He knew it had to happen eventually, he knew they'd have to meet. But regardless of how well it had gone, he hadn't wanted it to happen quite like that, or anything like that.

After Meredith had come in to join after her talk with his mom, she had been entirely silent. She had answered his mom's questions, she had joked once or twice with Hannah, but she had mostly been entirely silent, grasping his hand tightly underneath the table. She hadn't been ready for this at all. He imagined she was freaking out in her head, entirely freaking out.

As exhausted as he was he needed to give her a chance to freak out out loud. It wasn't going to be fun and he wasn't sure how he was going to handle it today but he figured it would be fine. She'd ramble for a bit and he'd tell her he loved her and that it was going to be fine. And then they could go to sleep because the next forty-eight hours included Christmas and there'd be no rest.

She came out of their bathroom, pulling a t-shirt down and moving towards the bed, her entire body drooping with exhaustion. He watched as she moved underneath the blankets, not saying a word as she pulled them over her head and turned onto her side. She was definitely freaking out. She was freaking out about his mom, about the talk they had had, about Christmas, about everything.

"Mer...do you want to talk?" he asked gently.

"I'm fine," she murmured, burrowing underneath the blankets.

"Of course you are," he sighed, as he closed the door and climbed into bed, slipping down to pull the blankets over his own head. "Talk."

"Der," she groaned.

"I know that was big and scary, I know you're freaking out...but talk."

"I'm not freaking out."

"Yeah, you are," Derek murmured, rubbing a hand along her back.

"I met your mom. I met your mom when the living room looked like there had been an explosion and I was in sweats and my hair was back and...I met your mom. But I'm fine. I'm not freaking out."

"That is definitely freaking out...which is entirely understandable," he whispered, continuing to rub her back. "But I'm under the covers with you...you have to talk."

"I don't know what to say," she sighed after a second, turning over to face him.

"I know you don't," he nodded, smiling gently at her. "It went better than it might have."

"It could have gone worse?"

"She likes you, Mer," he shrugged.

"Yeah," Meredith sighed.

"Mer...talk," he frowned.

"I know she likes me," she nodded. "I know. She told me I seemed very nice."

"Which is actually a huge compliment from that woman."

"Really?"

"Definitely," Derek nodded. "Last time I introduced a girlfriend to her I was told that she wasn't bad."

"I'm guessing that was Hannah's mom?"

"Actually...before Hannah's mom."

"You never introduced her to Hannah's mom?" Meredith frowned.

"We never really got to that point. I liked her a lot. She was...fun to be around but not...I never considered bringing her home to Mom."

"But she had to meet her when she was pregnant with Hannah."

"She did but that wasn't as my girlfriend, that was the womb holding my little girl."

"Oh," Meredith nodded slowly. "She said we were well suited to each other."

"Also a huge compliment," Derek smiled. "My mom has never said anything like that to any of my girlfriends. Actually...I think she's said the opposite."

"So that's...that's good."

"That's amazing."

"She asked questions. A lot of questions and I rambled...I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm incapable of actually forming sentences."

"Which wouldn't be entirely inaccurate," Derek laughed and then sighed. "Mer...she's not going to hold rambling against you, she apparently gets the nervous thing."

"Yeah, but...questions. About Hannah and you and my job and...and she's amazing, Derek. She's amazing and strong and...and I'm me."

"Me kind of translates to amazing and strong."

"I don't...it was crazy, Derek. I don't do families and she was there and asking questions and I couldn't even think because I was sure she was judging me and hating me and...I don't know."

"Meredith, my mom doesn't mince words with her children. If she hated you before she left she would have made it very clear to me. And she didn't. Instead she repeated that I was an idiotic liar and that you seemed really nice and she can't wait to get to know you better."

"Yeah, she said you were an idiot a few times," Meredith giggled.

"She does that," Derek rolled his eyes. "Although I'm pretty sure she may have a point this time."

"Der...I told her it was...I told her it was fine because I didn't want to meet her yet and...which may have been a really stupid thing to say to her. But I told her it was fine and that you were just helping me and she shouldn't be mad at you, she should be mad at me."

"Why should she be mad at you?" Derek frowned. "I'm her son and even if you weren't ready to meet her, I probably should have said something."

"Why didn't you?"

"I don't know," he sighed. "It's just...what we have has been so fragile and precious...I just wanted it to stay the same. And telling Mom seemed...huge."

"It kinda is," she murmured.

"It really is," he nodded. "But I should have told you. I love you and she should have known."

"Yeah," she sighed. "She seemed pissed she didn't know."

"She was," he murmured. "Which was entirely my fault. I wasn't trying to hide you."

"I know you weren't."

"Good...Mom she thought...I just needed to make sure that wasn't what you thought."

"It wasn't," Meredith shook her head quickly. "I was terrified you had told her and she was begging to see me."

"Which is basically why I didn't tell her."

"And now she knows."

"Now she knows."

"Which is...big and scary."

"I know," he sighed. "It feels...different now."

"It does," she nodded. "Really, really different."

"Good different."

"Yeah," she whispered. "Just...different."

"Are you okay? Besides the freaking out and everything...are you okay?"

"I think...I think so," she sighed. "She didn't kill me or hate me or anything. I'm okay."

"She accepted you, Mer."

"I know she did. Which is apparently really, really good."

"It is good, Mer," he laughed softly. "Did you not want to be accepted?"

"No, I did," she nodded. "I just...she doesn't know about us before...us, right? She doesn't know about the dirty on call room sex and the sex only and everything?"

"Definitely not," Derek shook his head. "She never will."

"What if she asks about how we met or how long we dated or...I mean, doesn't she ask things?"

"We don't have to lie about how we met," he sighed. "We met at the intern mixer, you freaked and there was flirting. It was a good first meeting. And the rest...we started dating last...February, I think."

"February...ish," she nodded.

"Should we pick a random date?"

"For...?"

"Anniversary or something," he shrugged. "And so we can have an answer."

"But mostly for anniversary," she rolled her eyes. "You want an anniversary date."

"Maybe."

"So you can be cheesy."

"Maybe."

"Fine," she sighed. "Random date..."

"Way to be enthusiastic."

"I'm sorry," she giggled. "I just...are we talking casual or when we actually...because I think you're talking casual stuff."

"I have no idea when anything happened," he sighed. "It was all a happy blur."

"You're so cheesy," she giggled again.

"You love me."

"I do," she smiled, leaning forward to kiss him lightly.

"Hmmm....so we need a date."

"We do," she nodded, kissing him again.

"It was a week after Hannah's birthday that we were in the closet."

"It was?"

"About that, I think."

"And then we had a casual lunch the next day."

"We did," he grinned.

"So..."

"I have no idea."

"Me neither," she sighed, wrapping her arms around his neck, her legs moving to tangle with his.

"Hmm...the tenth?"

"Why the tenth?" she murmured.

"Random."

"Very," she smiled. "So February tenth?"

"Works for me," he nodded.

"Okay," she nodded.

"So now we have a more firm story."

"We do," she sighed. "Which is...that's good. That we have a story."

"It is," he grinned. "Even if it's made up."

"Probably better than the real story," she nodded.

"I imagine so," he laughed.

"So now what?"

"Now...do I get to meet Susan finally?"

"You...you want to meet Susan?"

"Yeah, I do," he nodded.

"I um...you want to meet Susan. My step mom. You want to meet her."

"Yeah, Mer," he sighed.

"So you want to do the whole family thing now? The family dinners and the meeting family and all that? You want...you want to do all of that?"

"No," he shook his head. "Just...Susan, since you met my mom."

"Okay," she nodded slowly. "You want to meet Susan. My step mom. You want to meet her. Which makes sense. And she's been asking...so yeah, meeting her."

"Mer...breathe."

"I'm breathing."

"Of course you are. Mer...it's been a year nearly. We can start doing these things."

"I know we can," Meredith sighed. "I mean, we're living together. Meeting parents and step parents makes sense."

"It does," he nodded. "It's not fast."

"No it's not fast," she shook her head. "I know it's not fast. It's just...I just met Susan and Molly and Lexie. I just met them and they're...I love them and they're amazing and they're my family. I just…it's weird and now you're going to meet them."

"I already know Lexie."

"Lexie's different."

"Still...maybe we can have Susan over for supper...keep it casual."

"You know casual doesn't change it."

"I know, Meredith. But we have to do this."

"Okay," she sighed.

"Mer...say more than okay."

"You can meet Susan."

"Okay," he grinned.

"Okay."

"You did good today."

"I did," she smiled softly.

"I love you so much," he whispered.

"I love you too," she murmured, kissing him gently, running her fingers through his curls. "Sleep?"

"Definitely a good idea," he sighed. "Today was exhausting."

"It was," she murmured. "And I'm guessing it's only going to be worse the next couple of days?"

"Are you going to go into hiding if I say yes?"

"No," she sighed. "I work tomorrow though."

"Get as much sleep as humanly possible at work."

"That sounds promising," she murmured, resting her head on his chest.

"Hannah really likes Christmas," he sighed.

"Hmm," she nodded, cuddling closer to him.

"And we have the Santa thing to do. And she doesn't actually sleep on Christmas Eve which means someone has to distract her while the others put the gifts under the tree."

"Santa," she nodded again.

"Love you, Mer," he murmured.

"Love you," she sighed, her eyes sliding shut.

"Night Mer."

"Hmm hmm."

Derek sighed and hugged her tightly. Today had been some odd combination of good and bad. Or just bad with an okay ending, or a good ending or something. He was probably too tired to be thinking of this in any rational matter. But it hadn't been right out bad. It could have been worse. His mom liked her, his mom actually really liked her and that was all that seemed to matter.

Cos I'm counting on a new beginning.
A reason for living.
A deeper meaning.



Disclaimer: If we owned Grey's Anatomy we wouldn't be going on strike. Because these people get paid over 70,000 a year to see Paddy on a daily basis. And if we were being paid that well...and seeing Paddy every day...we'd have nothing to bitch about.

"Meredith....Meredith..." she heard a soft voice whispering near her ear. It could be Derek. Of course it could be Hannah. The voice was quiet and she was sleeping. Or at least trying to sleep. She woke up enough before the sun was up to know that it wasn't up yet. She could tell. And if the sun wasn't up she wasn't quite sure why she would want to be up. Not on a day off.

She never had days off. Ever. She had had to work on Christmas Eve and hadn't gotten home until late, and then had had to deal with Hannah and Derek both bouncing all over the place in excitement. And then there was the Santa thing. There was no way she was getting up. Not yet. She hadn't even fallen asleep until four and it definitely wasn't time to get up yet.

"Meredith, you gots to get up," Hannah's voice murmured, a little louder than the previous voice.

"No," she shook her head, turning over and burying her head under the pillow.

"Mer...wake up," Derek whined.

"Hmmm," she shook her head, pulling the blanket up higher. He was whining. Forty-one years old and he was whining.

"Meredith...Santa came," Hannah informed her. "If you get up you get gifts."

"Later," she groaned. Gifts sounded appealing. They did. But they would still be there when the sun was up.

"Not later. Breakfast is later. Gifts now," Derek sighed, shaking her lightly.

She shifted away from him, groaning as she seriously considered killing him. It probably wouldn't be a good idea. Killing him in front of Hannah would be bad. And killing him would probably be bad period. "Go 'way."

"Meredith...it's Christmas!" Hannah groaned. "We can't go way."

"Christmas later."

"Christmas now."

"Guys..." Meredith groaned, frowning as she felt something, she could only assume Eskimo, crawling on her back.

"Mer...it's Christmas morning, you have to get up," Derek sighed, running a hand lightly over her hair. "Please?"

"What time is it?" she sighed, poking her head out slightly from the pillow.

"It's six," Hannah said proudly. "I wanted to get up at 5:30 but Daddy said I had to wait."

"Six?" Meredith frowned, ducking her head back under her pillow. "Another hour. Or three."

"Nuh uh, Daddy said six," Hannah sighed, her head suddenly making a move to get under the pillow. "I made you something really really pretty, Meredith. Doncha want to see it?"

"Can't I see it at eight?"

"But it's really really nice."

"It will be really really nice at eight."

"But we always wake up early on Christmas."

"Eight is early."

"But Uncle Monkey and Addison are coming over at eight for breakfast."

"What...seriously?"

"Yeah," Derek sighed. "We thought it would be good since he ususally does Christmas morning with us."

"Oh," Meredith murmured, burrowing back into the bed. "Seven then."

"Meredith! Santa came!" Hannah exclaimed. "Santa!"

"I know," she groaned. "Santa's presents will still be there at seven."

"But we gotta open them now."

"Hannah..." Meredith sighed.

"Mer, she's not going to give up," Derek sighed.

"Fine," she groaned. "I'll be down in five minutes."

"Okay," Derek nodded. "But if you're not we will come looking for you."

"Hmmm hmmm," she nodded, burrowing her head underneath the pillow again.

"Meredith..." Derek groaned. "Up."

"Five minutes."

"Don't you want to see what I got you?" he asked.

"In five minutes."

"Up."

"Five minutes."

"Don't make me carry you downstairs."

"Five minutes."

"Fine. We will wait for five minutes."

"Go downstairs and sing carols or sort presents or whatever you happy Christmas people do."

"If we go downstairs we'll just have to come back up here to get you."

"Okay."

"So we'll wait here."

"Fine," Meredith groaned. "Five minutes."

"Okay," Derek nodded, not moving.

She sighed as she pulled the pillow back over her head. Christmas. She had never liked Christmas, ever. She couldn't remember actually ever getting up early and opening presents with her mom. She woke up when she woke up and then opened the few presents she got by herself. Christmas sucked. While everyone else had Santa to believe in, she had just a normal day without Santa.

She hadn't complained. She didn't even tell anyone else, everyone assumed she had had a normal Christmas. And it hadn't even bugged her that much, it was her life. And now, somehow, she had ended up with a boyfriend, a daughter that was pratically hers and a dog bouncing up and down on her bed to go open the mountains of gifts she knew awaited them under the tree.

She wasn't used to this. She definitely wasn't used ot it. Any of it. When she had moved in, the house had looked like Santa's Village at the mall, now it actually looked like the North Pole. She had never thought this would be her life, and she wasn't ready for it. She wasn't ready to be apart of the family that woke up at five thirty to open presents.

"Has it been five minutes, Daddy?" Hannah whispered.

"No," Meredith groaned.

"Nearly Han," Derek laughed softly.

She hated this. She hated that they were happy and excited and she was...she was her. Which probably wasn't necessarily bad since Derek seemed to be in love with her. But she couldn't get excited for this. She couldn't get excited for running downstairs and sitting in front of the tree at six in the morning, opening presents while Hannah sang Jingle Bells for the fiftieth time.

She had no idea how she was even supposed to act about all of this. Derek's face lit up at the word Christmas like he was still six years old. But he was Derek and she was...she had never actually done Christmas before. She hadn't told him that. She had no idea how to tell him that. She wanted to be excited. She really did, she wanted to be part of this. But it was too much.

But she didn't want to tell him and he did that whole thing he did where he looked sad and angry all at once, which is what he did when he was pissed at her mom. And she didn't want to bring any of them down. But she just wasn't sure how to get excited for this. She wasn't ready for Christmas. She wasn't ready to be the person who woke up to open presents and who liked the entire thing.

"Now, Daddy?"

"No," Meredith sighed, even though she was 99.9% sure it was time for her to get up and do this.

"Actually...yes," Derek sighed. "Come on, Mer."

"I'm sick." Taking a page out of Hannah's book might work. Or just make her entirely insane.

"No getting away with that," Derek shook his head, as she felt him climb back onto the bed. "You okay?" he whispered.

"I'm..." she trailed off, biting her lower lip. "I need sleep."

"I know you do but that's a rare commodity in this house at Christmas," he sighed. "You're sure that's it?"

She could tell him. She could tell him she didn't do Christmas. She could tell him she had never done Christmas. But Hannah was bouncing eagerly on the bed and Eskimo was starting to whine and...she pulled the pillow off her head. "Yeah. Downstairs. Presents. Let's go."

"Okay," he nodded, still frowning slightly as he took her hand. "Let's do this."

"Presents time!" Hannah exclaimed, jumping off the bed, Eskimo following after her as they ran ahead of them.

"Going to tell me now?" he whispered to her.

"Derek," she groaned.

"Mer...not probing, don't have time. Just...give me a clue as to why you're looking like someone just killed your best friend."

"I don't look like someone killed my best friend," she frowned.

"You do."

She sighed as they walked down the stairs slowly, her hand brushing against the garland on the banister. "I don't do Christmas."

"You don't do Christmas?"

"I've never done Christmas."

"Oh," he nodded. "Well...you have to now, Mer."

"Derek, I just...I've never...okay. You're right. I have to do it now."

"Mer, it's okay," he murmured. "I get it and you're mom...I can almost guarantee you won't hate this."

"Okay," she nodded, not fully believing him.

"It's opening gifts and eating a lot of food."

"I know."

"You'll be fine," he murmured, kissing her cheek quickly. "And it's just us...and Mark and Addison, nothing big."

"And then I go to Susan's and you go to your mom's," she nodded, squeezing his hand.

"Exactly," he nodded. "Nothing to be afraid of."

"Daddy! Meredith!" Hannah insisted from the living room.

"We're coming, Hannah," Derek yelled back. "You'll love this, Mer."

"Okay," she sighed.

"Love you," he smiled as they reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Love you too," she smiled softly.

"Good," he smiled, squeezing her hand. "Let's go introduce you to Christmas."

"That's more than slightly cheesy, Der," she rolled her eyes, following him into the living room.

"And this year is going to take forever," Derek sighed as he looked at the tree.

"You did spoil her slightly," Meredith sighed.

"She's not the only spoiled one," Derek smirked.

"Derek..." she sighed. "You didn't go crazy on my presents, did you?"

"No, I didn't go crazy," he sighed. "We had our budgets for each other. I followed mine."

"Good," she nodded firmly. "I followed mine too."

"Good," he nodded as he got on the floor beside the presents. "Ready, Han?"

"Yep," Hannah nodded excitedly, bouncing slightly as Meredith sat on the couch, wrapping a throw around her.

"Okay," Derek nodded, picking up a gift. "To Hannah, from Santa."

"Santa's presents are the bestest," Hannah grinned, taking the present and tearing it open eagerly. "Wow! A new tutu just like I asked!"

"Go figure," Derek laughed. "Mer...one for you."

"From who?" Meredith sighed, leaning forward to grab the present, suddenly dying for a cup of coffee.

"Santa."

"Oh really?" Meredith raised an eyebrow, unwrapping the present to reveal a jewelry box. "Oh...D---Santa. Wow." She pulled the delicate white god chain with three diamonds out of the box, holding it in her fingers. "Wow."

"You like it?" Derek asked.

"It's amazing," Meredith breathed.

"Santa figured he had some stuff to make up for so he asked me what to give you."

"It's...thank you," she nodded, getting on the ground to kiss him. "For telling Santa."

"Just helping out," he grinned. "Want help putting it on?"

"Please," she nodded, handing him the necklace and holding up her hair.

"There you go," he whispered as he clasped it together.

"Thank you," she murmured, trailing her fingers along the diamonds. "I love you."

"I love you too," he breathed, kissing her quickly.

"Kisses later!" Hannah rolled her eyes in a very weird Meredith-like way. "Presents."

"Presents," Derek nodded, laughing softly. "Another one for Hannah."

"From Santa?" Hannah asked, reaching for the gift.

"From Santa," Derek nodded.

"Cool!" Hannah grinned, tearing open the wrapping paper. "Oh wow! Look, it's a new tutu for Nanners too!"

"Oh very cool," Derek nodded.

"That's great, Han," Meredith nodded, leaning into Derek's side.

"It's perfect," Hannah grinned widely.

"Definitely," Meredith yawned. "Go ahead, Der. Next present."

"One for me from Hannah and one for you from Hannah," Derek smiled.

"I made them all by myself at school," Hannah grinned widely, bouncing slightly.

Derek smiled at his daughter as he unwrapped his gift, finding a picture frame painted bright colour with a picture of the three of them in. "It's perfect, Hannah."

"Very pretty," Meredith smiled, holding up an almost identical frame with the same picture. "Thank you, Han."

"Welcome," Hannah smiled proudly.

"It's the best present ever," Meredith grinned, leaning forward and kissing the little girl's cheek.

"Thank you," Hannah smiled.

"What's next, Der?" Meredith murmured.

"One for Hannah from us," Derek smiled, handing his daughter a gift.

"What is it?" Hannah grinned widely, tearing into the present eagerly.

"You'll find out when you open it," Derek laughed.

"Oh wow!" Hannah gasped, looking down at the pictures of ballerinas.

"Like it?" Meredith asked.

"Yeah," Hannah nodded. "Can I put them in my room please?"

"Yep," Derek nodded.

"Thank you, Daddy!" Hannah grinned, hugging Derek tightly and then moving to hug Meredith. "Thanks, Meredith!"

"You're welcome, Hannah," Meredith smiled, hugging her back quickly.

"Next present, Daddy!" Hannah exclaimed.

"Next present is for me from Meredith," Derek grinned at the package in his hand.

"I wasn't sure...if you don't like it then...I mean...I definitely wasn't sure," Meredith bit her lip.

"Relax," he laughed softly as he tore at the wrapping paper, before looking down at the box in his hands and opening it to reveal a watch. "Oh Mer, it's perfect."

"It is?"

"Entirely," he grinned, slipping out of the box. "I love it."

"I figured...I mean, you lost your old one and your doctor and watches are kind of a big deal so...and I couldn't figure out what else to get you because it's completley impossible to shop for guys. Completely and totally impossible so I just thought...but you like it?"

"Mer, I love it," he smiled, leaning over and kissing her lightly. "Thank you."

"Welcome," she smiled against his lips.

"I love you," he murmured.

"I love you too," she whispered.

"Okay, more gifts," Derek smiled as he pulled away with a soft smile.

"More gifts," Meredith nodded, leaning against the couch as Derek reached for more presents under the tree. Her fingers lightly traced the necklace resting against the hollow of her throat as she watched Hannah tear into another package. This was...it was nice. It was actually really nice, which she hadn't been expecting. She hadn't been expecting something this quiet. Something this exciting. It was nice.

Derek was still smiling like a little kid as he watched his daughter open her gifts, pure joy across her face as she squealed her thanks to both of them. This actually felt kind of perfect. Sometimes when she had been younger, less jaded, she had wondered what it would be like to have this kind of Christmas. And now she was here, sitting amongst her family. Today they felt like her family.

It felt like Christmas now. It felt like something she saw on the cheesy Hallmark commercials or something. She half expected egg nog and Christmas carols blaring from the stereo. But this was perfect. She was sitting with her kind of family, with her boyfriend and his amazing daughter and feeling entirely happy. She grinned widely as Hannah opened a present for Eskimo. Definitely perfect.

"Mer, you still with us?" Derek murmured.

"Hmm?" she looked up quickly. "Oh yeah."

"You okay?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah," she nodded. "I'm...I'm great."

"Good," he smiled softly.

"Coffee would be nice though," she giggled, reaching for his hand.

"I'll put on a pot as soon as we're done here."

"That's why I keep you around," she murmured, giggling as Hannah tried to get Eskimo to tear at some wrapping paper. "You got Eskimo presents?"

"Hannah made me do it," he whispered.

"Of course she did," she rolled her eyes.

"Apparently he's part of the family," Derek shrugged.

"Apparently," she giggled, cuddling closer to him.

"It's her holiday," he sighed, hugging her tight.

"Yours too."

"I know," he nodded. "And yours."

"I...I mean, it's nice but...."

"Mer, you're smiling and your eyes are sparkling."

"They are not."

"They are."

"Well, fine. Maybe but...it's really nice. It's actually not that bad."

"You love it."

"Maybe."

"You're a Shepherd after all," he grinned.

"I'm...what?" she turned to him.

"A Shepherd," he shrugged.

"You're not...Derek..." she frowned.

"Sorry," he sighed. "Taking it back. You're a Grey...with Shepherd like tendencies."

"I don't know if you can take it back. It's on the table."

"Sorry," he murmured. "Bad habit, I know."

"We just...a year. Not even a year."

"I know, I know," he sighed.

"So...yeah, not even a year. And you're...I mean, you're not...right?"

"What?" he frowned.

"You're not trying to do the thing. With the ring and the knee and the big speeches? You're not trying to do that thing, right?"

"No," he shook his head quickly. "Christmas engagement is a little cheesy, Mer."

"Okay," she sighed, leaning back against him. "Good."

"Eventually...I'm asking. But relax, it's not happening anytime soon."

"Okay," she murmured.

"The necklace is it for today," he whispered, playing with the chain between his fingers.

"It's really beautiful, Derek," she murmured.

"Glad you like it."

"I love it."

"Good."

"And your watch?" she murmured, picking up his wrist and examining the watch he had put on.

"I love it," he grinned.

"Good."

"I won't lose this one," he promised.

"You better not," she giggled.

"I definitely won't," he nodded. "I'll keep it somewhere safe while I'm cutting."

"Good," she whispered, leaning forward to kiss him. "Merry Christmas, Der."

"Merry Christmas, Mer," he echoed.

Till I had you I didn't know
That I was missing out
Had to grow up and see the world
Through different shades of doubt
Give me one more chance to dream again
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oncetherewasaway Dec 27 2007, 01:37 PM Post #5
Member Avatar
McEditor

 Disclaimer: It is nearly Grey's Day. Yay! We don't own the show though so we could only wish to get an episode that would have the same rating as this update has. Definitely not good for virgin eyes.


She was supposed to be cold. She had the distinct feeling they were supposed to be really cold. The champagne was cold, and it was cold out. It had actually snowed a little and it was cold. And she was naked. They were both naked. Completely naked. So they should probably be cold. Or freezing. Or some other word for cold. The point was, she was supposed to be really cold.

She didn't actually feel all that cold though. She felt rather warm and toasty. She assumed it probably had something to do with the fact that Derek had grabbed every blanket from inside the house to cover them with. And it probably had something to do with being cuddled up in his arms. He tended to work well as a personal heater. And there was all that champagne she had already drank.

So there was no cold. No cold at all. Just warm and nice and toasty. Whatever toasty meant. As when she thought about toast she thought about burnt crispyness coming from the toaster. Which was probably the point of saying toasty. When bread became toast it was warm. And she was now rambling in her head. Completely rambling in her head and she couldn't help but giggle.

"What's funny?" Derek murmured, his warm breath swirling around her bare neck.

"Toast," she giggled, cuddling closer to him, her arms wrapped around his naked torso.

"Toast is funny?" he asked, laughing softly around the confusion in his voice.

"I'm warm and toasty and toast is warm so I'm warm and warm," she giggled again.

"Toast is warm," he chuckled, running a hand along her bare back.

"Yep," she nodded, shivering slightly at his touch.

"Sure you're not cold?" he asked.

"I'm toast," she giggled, turning to kiss him.

"You don't taste like toast," he laughed against her lips.

"You taste like champagne," she grinned, licking his lips.

"So do you," he smiled. "Which probably has something to do with the empty bottle we left inside."

"Where's the other bottle?" she grinned widely.

"At our feet," he laughed.

"Oh," she laughed, bending down to look at the bottle. "I hope it's not toast."

"It's not in the cocoon. It's snow."

"Snow?" she giggled, trying to grab the bottle.

"It's cold," he shrugged. "And you're going to hurt yourself."

"It's ice cream," she nodded eagerly as his hands went down to her hips to steady her.

"Are you hungry or something?"

"Nope. Why?"

"Toast...ice cream...all food."

"Toast was because of warm and toasty," she giggled, finally reaching the bottle. "Toast is food so...keeping with the theme or whatever. Got it!"

"Good job," he laughed. "Now get back here."

"Can't."

"Why?"

"I'm stuck," she giggled again.

"How did you get stuck?"

"I think I'm drunk," she laughed.

"I think I agree," he laughed, grabbing at her waist. "Come back."

"Thank you, Derek," she smiled as he pulled her up, the champagne bottle in her hand. "What time is it?"

"Don't know," he shrugged. "Look at the watch."

"You look at the watch."

"You're closer to it."

"Fine," she sighed, pulling up his wrist and staring at it. "Um..."

"Um?"

"It's...um...." she frowned. "Hmmm..."

"Mer..." he groaned, leaning over to look at it with her. "Fifteen minutes. I think."

"I think so too," she nodded quickly. "Good. We didn't miss New Year's."

"Meredith..." Derek rolled his eyes. "There's going to be fireworks over thereish."

"Thereish?" she giggled.

"Yes. Thereish. I'm a genius, I get to make up words."

"Who said you were a genius?"

"Everyone but you."

"Everyone but you is stupid."

"Mer, you're you," he laughed. "And Mark. Markie's never called me a genius."

"You called him Markie," she giggled reaching out of their cocoon of blankets for their champagne glasses, trying to balance the bottle in her hands.

"You have it?" he asked.

"Have what?" she asked, chewing on her lip.

"The bottle."

"I don't know," she sighed. "You take it."

"Okay," he nodded, grabbing it from her.

"We need champagne for New Years," she nodded eagerly. "Lots of champagne. Everyone drinks champagne."

"Mer...we have fifteen minutes," he laughed. "This bottle will last fifteen minutes."

"You shoulda bought another bottle," she sighed, holding both of their glasses. "Okay...pour."

"Pouring," he nodded, tipping the bottle slowly.

"This was the best idea ever," she smiled widely. "Better than...better than a lot of things."

"See...I'm a genius," he smiled proudly.

"You just got lucky this time."

"Yeah yeah," he laughed. "And me getting lucky is the plan for after the fireworks."

"Definitely getting lucky," she giggled, leaning forward to kiss him.

"Hmm..." he groaned softly. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"Good," he smiled widely.

"Definitely good," she giggled.

"This is the best New Years...ever."

"What'd you do last year?"

"Well...nothing."

"Nothing?" Meredith frowned. "Hannah was at your mom's and you did nothing? Even I did something. Not this good something but something."

"I had no one to do anything with," he sighed. "Yes, I know that sounds pathetic."

"Very, very pathetic," she sighed sadly. "My pathetic boyfriend."

"Hey...I'm doing something tonight," he protested.

"That's because I'm here now."

"And I thank God every day. Well...not really but in theory I do."

"In theory?" she giggled.

"Yes. In theory I thank God every day for you. In practice I just do it when you're being overly amazing."

"When am I overly amazing?" she asked, resting back against him.

"Lots and lots of times."

"You sound like Hannah."

"She is my kid."

"She is," she nodded.

"She's you...no, not tonight," he shook his head.

"What?" Meredith giggled, reaching for the bottle to put it back on the ground.

"Nothing," he sighed. "You don't want to hear it."

"Don't be sad, Der," she sighed, bending over.

"I'm not. Especially now that you're doing that."

"I'm just bending over," she giggled.

"Exactly," he smirked.

"Oh," she giggled, feeling his growing erection under her. "You're porny."

"Mer...we're sitting on our porch completely naked and slightly drunk, what do you expect?"

"I'm porny too," she sighed. "And stuck again, I think."

"Of course," he laughed, pulling her back as he looked quickly at his watch. "Eight minutes."

"Eight minutes," she nodded, moving slightly over his erection, a small smile on her lips.

"None of that for eight minutes," he groaned.

"Why not?"

"If we're doing that we'll miss it."

"Fireworks are kinda hard to miss."

"I could make you miss them."

"Oh really?"

"I could do it."

"But I like fireworks."

"In that case...no doing it. You can wait seven minutes."

"Seven minutes," she nodded, resting back against him as he wrapped her back up in the cocoon.

"2007 was a pretty amazing year," he sighed.

"It really was," she murmured, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Next year will be better," he murmured.

"It will?"

"Definitely."

"I'll take your word on that," she giggled, curling up under the cocoon, his arms moving to wrap tightly around her. She definitely wasn't cold. She was completely toasty. And drunk. A little drunk. Which was okay. They were daughterless. Hannah was at Mrs. Shepherd's house, at the annual grandkids sleepover, so they were daughterless. And naked. And she was warm.

She hadn't thought to ask Derek what was planned for New Years. She had assumed it would be a night of movies with Hannah, and then trying to keep her awake long enough to see the fireworks on tv. Or maybe going live or something. She hadn't expected to be daughterless and naked outside, curled in his arms as the minutes ticked by, feeling entirely warm.

So it had been weird when he had left for an hour with Hannah and come back without his daughter and two bottles of champagne. Very weird. And even weirder when he had undressed her and carried her outside, the blankets already set up. Well, not weird. Nice. Really, really nice. And amazing. She was pretty sure she liked it. Actually...loved it. She loved it.

And now she was entirely engulfed in his arms as they were about five minutes away from ringing in the new year. Together. She had never run in the New Year with someone other than some drunken friends before. Most of which she wouldn't even remember their names come morning. Last year had been with her old roommates. But this was entirely different and perfect.

"How long?" she whispered, her fingers lightly playing with the white gold chain around her neck.

"Four minutes," he murmured.

"Hmm," she sighed, curling closer to him, sipping at her champagne.

"Nearly there," he breathed.

"Almost," she nodded against his chest as his fingers played in her hair.

"This is amazing," he sighed.

"Really amazing."

"This should be a tradition."

"Every year from now on?"

"Usually what a tradition means."

"Ass," she giggled, turning to kiss him. "How long?"

"Two minutes," he sighed. "You're worse than Hannah."

"How do you know how Hannah is?" she laughed. "She's at your mom's."

"I can only assume as I know how she is every other time."

"Isn't she always at your mom's?"

"Yes, but other times...like Christmas morning."

"Don't remind me," Meredith groaned.

"Exactly," he laughed. "One minute."

"One minute," she echoed, sitting up a little straighter, the blankets slipping off one of her shoulders.

"They should be over there," he whispered, pointing toward the water as he pulled her tighter to him, pulling the blanket back up.

"You've watched them before," she stated rather than asked.

"Yeah," he nodded.

"Here?" she breathed, holding his hand tightly.

"Yep," he breathed. "The year right before Hannah was born."

"Oh," she nodded, watching the water intently. "Soon?"

"Very," he nodded.

"Good," she murmured, jumping slightly as the first firework lit up the sky. He tightened his hold on her, pulling him closer to her as she watched the fireworks through the trees, the reflection bouncing off the water.

"Happy New Year, Mer," he whispered.

"Happy New Year, Der," she murmured back, her grasp on his hand tightening as he kissed her shoulder lightly.

"I love you."

"I love you too," she breathed, watching the fireworks intently, her eyes filling with tears for absolutely no good reason. She couldn't figure out why she felt like crying, because she definitely wasn't sad. She was stupid happy. Completely and entirely happy. Which was...she didn't think there had actually ever been a time she had been more happy.

"Mer...you okay?"

"I'm great," she nodded, wiping her eyes quickly.

"You're crying," he frowned.

"No I'm not," she shook her head. "I'm not...I'm just...toasty."

"Mer...what?"

"I really am good, Der," she sighed, kissing him. "Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year," he echoed. "But why the tears?"

"I blame the champagne," she giggled slightly.

"You're not going to tell me, are you?"

"I really honestly don't know, Der."

"Okay," he nodded slowly.

"I'm okay," she promised, resting her head against his shoulder as they watched the fireworks display.

"Good," he whispered, his hand gently running through her hair.

"Definitely a tradition," she whispered.

"Definitely."

"Good," she murmured, turning again to kiss him, gently at first and then slowly deepening it.

"Hmmmm...." he groaned softly against her lips. "Fireworks are done."

"They are," she nodded, shifting slightly as she ran her fingers over his bare chest.

"Inside or stay out here?" he asked.

"Stay out here," she breathed, taking the champagne glass from his hand and putting them down on the small table by the loveseat he had put on the porch.

"Okay," he murmured, pulling her back to him and kissing her hard.

"Der," she breathed against his lips as his hands moved up and down her sides, her breathing already quickening as he kissed her harder.

"Meredith," he moaned, moving to kiss her neck.

She moaned slightly as he sucked lightly on her neck, turning her so that she lay underneath him, his hands gently smoothing over her body. There was the smallest burst of cold air as the blankets slipped off of her, but his body heat worked to warm her, his lips moving down to her chest, his fingers tracing the chain around her neck as he kissed the skin between her breasts.

"Mer..." he groaned, slipping his tongue underneath her breast before following the slope upward toward her nipple. He flicked it gently with his tongue, smiling to himself as she moaned loudly, before he took it into his mouth.

"Oh god," she breathed, her breath coming out in a small puff of air as he swirled his tongue around the erect nipple. Her hips were already starting to move against him, the wet folds begging for him as he moved his hand down, rubbing her swollen clit gently.

"Mer...my Mer," he murmured, bringing his mouth to hers again, kissing her gently as his body heat covered her, his hand staying to rub against her clit.

"Der...god, Der," she moaned, her hips bucking against his fingers.

"Fuck," he groaned softly as she bit softly at his lower lip.

"Please," she murmured against his lips, her hand moving down to his erection, trying to guide him into her.

"Mer...." he gasped, as he let her lead his body and he slipped inside her.

"Derek," she moaned, her body arching to meet him as he moved slowly out of her before slipping into her again, his lips finding hers again.

"Mer..." he whispered, pulling out of her again before slipping back in. "Oh..."

"Oh god," she breathed, her fingers finding his curls as she pulled him down to kiss him, moving against him. His pace quickened as their hips met, both of them forgetting any pretense of a rhythm as she kissed him deeply.

"Mer...Mer...." he gasped, his body trembling hard.

"Derek!" she screamed softly against his lips as she shook, her body tightening beneath him. "Derek...Der..."

"Mer..." he groaned loudly, his body pitching into hers.

"Oh..." she breathed, trembling beneath him. "Derek...oh..."

"Mer..." he murmured, his body tightening hard.

"Come...Derek," she murmured, nibbling on his ear lobe as he thrust harder and faster into her.

"Meredith," he gasped, pushing into her one last time as he released.

He collapsed on top of her, still inside her as they panted together. Her fingers played with the curls at the nape of his neck as he tried to breathe, as they both tried to come down. "Derek," she murmured.

"Mer..." he whispered.

"You okay?" she whispered, brushing a sweaty curl off his forehead.

"Perfect...you?"

"Same."

"Happy New Year, Mer," he breathed.

"Happy New Year," she echoed.

"Stay like this for a bit?'

"Definitely," she breathed.

"Love you."

"Love you too."

Derek shifted, pulling Meredith into his arms again, letting her settle her head against his still slightly heaving chest. She smiled to herself as he ran his fingers through her hair, enjoying the warmth that surrounded her.

And right here in this moment is right where I'm meant to be
Here with you here with me



Disclaimer: If we owned Grey's Anatomy we would probably be now hunting down Ausilleo to kill him for giving us two opposite spoilers for the same episode. As apparently Mer and Der are going strong with the sex...and Derek is dating someone else. Very confuckling.

Meredith sighed and looked at the paper in front of her, trying to ignore how uncomfortable her ass was on the chair that was far too small. Concentrating on the paper and lists were a better option. Lists were probably important for party planning. Not that she knew that for certain, she had never even considered planning a party for a nearly seven year old, but they seemed like a good idea.

Hannah had been rambling for the past hour, her own piece of paper in front of her as she wrote random things down, wrote down all the words she apparently knew how to write. Meredith had the sneaking feeling this was going to be a huge party, a really huge party. Bigger than last year's, which definitely seemed insane. And she was planning it.

She didn't even know how she had ended up being main party planner. She had figured Derek would do it. When they had first talked about it had seemed like a pretty safe assumption. And the next thing she knew the two of them were giving her the Shepherd eyes that she still wasn't quite sure how to say no to and now she was trying to plan the kind of party she had never had.

"I don't know if I want Amanda at my party," Hannah sighed, picking up a purple crayon.

"Why not?" Meredith asked.

"Cause she didn't 'vite me to her party."

"Oh," Meredith nodded. "But...you're inviting everyone. How will she feel?"

"I don't know," Hannah shrugged.

"Well you should invite her. Even if she didn't invite you...step up and be the bigger person, Han."

"But she's bigger than me," Hannah frowned, drawing a heart on her paper.

"It means you...don't do something mean just because she did," Meredith giggled.

"Oh," Hannah nodded. "But she's mean. And I don't like her. She doesn't like me either."

"Well...is there anyone else you don't want to invite? Or just her?"

"Just her," Hannah nodded.

"You should invite her than, even if she is mean...you're not. If you leave her out she'll have her feelings hurt and probably be more mean."

"But she's really really mean," she groaned, starting to rock back and forth against the two back legs of the chair.

"How is she mean?" Meredith asked.

"She just is," Hannah shrugged, trying to balance on the chair, letting it fall forward before doing it again.

"That's not a reason," Meredith sighed. "And be careful."

"I'm careful," Hannah giggled, trying to balance her chair as she grabbed a blue crayon. "And I want a big cake. A really, really big cake. Jenny had a cake with her picture on it but I don't know...I think I want a cake with Barbie. Or ballet. But I want the biggest cake ever."

"We'll have to see what we can do," Meredith giggled. "But I don't think we need the biggest cake ever."

"Why not?" Hannah asked, letting the chair fall forward again. "I'm 'viting my whole class. And everyone likes cake a lot. And ice cream. We gots to have lots and lots and lots of ice cream."

"We will," Meredith nodded. "And we'll get a big cake but the biggest cake ever is probably pretty big."

"Bigger than me?"

"Probably."

"Wow," Hannah breathed, putting her crayon down and grabbing the edge of the table as she rocked back in her chair again. "Can we have pizza at my party?"

"We can," Meredith sighed. "Hannah, can you stop doing that?"

"Why?"

"It's not safe. You could fall and really hurt yourself."

"Okay," Hannah shrugged, letting the chair fall forward. "And we gots to have games. Lots and lots of games. Sam had a bouncing moon. I want a bouncing moon but I don't know cause it's gonna be cold and it might snow. But I really, really want a bouncing moon."

"I think it will be too cold for that," Meredith agreed. "Maybe when it's warm again we can have a big summer party for your friends and you can have one then."

"Really?" Hannah grinned as Derek walked in with a couple plates of sandwiches. "Daddy, Meredith says I can have a bouncing moon in the summer."

"She does?" Derek raised his eye brows at Meredith.

"Yeah," Hannah grinned, grabbing a sandwich in one hand as she grabbed the table with the other, rocking back and forth again. "Cause it's too cold to have a bouncing moon at my party and it might snow."

"Well that's true," Derek nodded, slipping into one of the small chairs and handed Meredith a sandwhich.

"Sam had a bouncing moon at his party and it was the coolest ever," Hannah sighed. "I gots to have something really cool at my party or everyone's gonna like Sam's party more."

"Don't worry, Han, your party will be very cool," Derek grinned.
(dude...if we're scabs the writers have to report us to the WGA...we'd be fucked for life)

"What if it's not?" she groaned, balancing her chair.

"It will be," Meredith nodded. "And I told you to stop doing that."

"I did stop," Hannah shrugged, rocking harder.

"That doesn't look like stopping," Meredith sighed.

"I did stop, now I'm not."

"Well stop again."

"Fine," Hannah pouted, letting the chair fall down to the floor again as she grabbed an apple. "So we gots to have games. Lots and lots of games and a really big cake and...what else do we gots to have, Daddy?"

"You have to invite all your friends," Derek nodded. "And we need food besides this very big cake."

"We're gonna have pizza," Hannah nodded, rocking the chair back on its back legs again.

"Hannah," Meredith groaned. "I told you to stop."

"I did stop," Hannah smirked slightly, rocking back and forth in the chair, never letting the front legs hit the floor.

"Fine...stop again and stay stopped."

"But I like it," Hannah shrugged, taking another apple slice, still balancing the chair on its back legs. "And, Daddy, tell Meredith I don't have to 'vite Amanda cause she's a poopyhead."

"If you're inviting everyone you should invite Amanda too," Derek shrugged.

"But she's mean," Hannah insisted, grabbing the table quickly when the chair almost fell.

"Unless you give us a good reason, you should invite her," Meredith sighed. "And this is why I told you to stop."

"She didn't vite me to her party," Hannah groaned, trying to balance the chair again. "And she didn't give me a candy bag at Hallween. She's mean and stupid and I don't like her."

"Fine. Stop rocking on the chair and we'll discuss this."

"She's not coming," the little girl said firmly, smirking as she rocked the chair harder, sneaking a glance at Meredith.

"Hannah, stop rocking that chair now," Meredith said firmly.

"And all the boys gots to go home but the girls are gonna sleep over," Hannah ignored Meredith, the chair almost slippping again as she grabbed the table.

"Hannah Rose Shepherd, we are not discussing this party any further until you stop the rocking," Meredith groaned, feeling Derek's eyes on her.

"And then we gotta have lots and lots of snacks," Hannah grinned widely. "And cookies. Lots of cookies and brownies and ice cream and candy."

"Hannah, stop right now and you're going to your bed room," Meredith snapped.

"I don't want to stop."

"That's nice," Meredith shrugged. "Stop."

"No."

"No is not an option. Stop and bedroom are your options."

"Make me."

"That's it," Derek groaned. "Hannah, bedroom now until supper. And if you even think about saying no the party's off."

"But...”

"We'll discuss this later," Derek shook his head. "Go."

"You're mean," Hannah pouted, letting the chair fall to the floor as she stood up. "You and Meredith are mean and you can't come to my party."

"Yeah, we're mean," Derek sighed. "And you hate us, I get it."

"I do," Hannah nodded firmly.

"That's fine. Go and hate us in your bedroom."

"Stupid and mean," Hannah mumbled under her breath as she stomped out of the room and up the stairs, slamming the door hard.

"You okay?" Derek asked Meredith.

"I...yeah," Meredith shook her head, wiping her hand across her eyes quickly as she looked down at the list in front of her. "I'm fine."

"Oh Mer..." Derek sighed, jumping out of his chair to kneel in front of her. "It gets easier."

"I’m complete crap at it," she whispered.

"No you're not," he shook his head as he rubbed her arms. "That was good."

"No...definitely crap. She doesn't even...you saw her."

"She...isn't used to having to listen to anyone but me. She just needs time to learn that you're just as powerful now."

"Totally crap," she murmured. "I'm not meant...and she hates me. She hates me and...I'm crap at the whole parenty thing."

"She doesn't hate you. She says that when she's mad and she never actually means it. By tomorrow she'll be cuddled in bed with you again. And you're defintely not crap at the parenty thing."

"Really? Because she wasn't stopping and she wasn't listening and if you weren't here she would have kept doing it and then probably would have fallen and cracked her head or something which then would have led to her needing brain surgery or something. Yeah, Der, I see what you mean. I'm great at the parenty thing."

"Mer...that stuff..it's the hard stuff. The incredibly hard stuff. No, you're not a pro at it. But if I hadn't been here you would have figured it out. And you will figure it out, trust me."

"What if I don't? What if I'm just destined to be crap at it because you know...it's not like my mom was around a lot and...what if I'm just naturally crap at it? What if I'm like her mom and I'm just not cut out to be a...parenty person?"

"Meredith..." Derek sighed, cupping her cheek gently. "Did your mom ever sit in a minature chair and act like the color of the balloons was the most important decision one could ever make?"

"Well...no," she sighed.

"And you telling her to stop...it wasn't you being mean, it was you worrying about her safety," Derek shrugged. "What would your mom have cared more about...you getting hurt or the hassle involved in taking you in to get checked out?"

"I'm sorry," she sighed. "I just...I'm pretty sure I'm crap at this and I know you're saying I'm not but I have no idea how to do this stuff. I don't know how to plan parties or get her to stop doing stuff or the stories she likes to read or doing voices when I'm reading them or...I don't know how to do any of this. And you keep talking about big things and I...I don't know how."

"Mer...I know you don't," he murmured. "But you're learning. That's all that matters."

"I guess," she sighed, looking down at the list. "This party is going to be huge."

"It really is," he sighed. "Apparently she's only turning seven once."

"Which is true," she giggled slightly.

"It is," he sighed. "I'mm contemplating calling the world record people."

"I'm sure it's not that big," she laughed. "Though...you know, if they keep getting bigger, by the time she turns sixteen..."

"Don't remind me," Derek groaned.

"It's probably a good thing you're a wealthy neurosurgeon," Meredith laughed.

"Probably," he laughed. "And by the time she's sixteen you will be too."

"We could only hope."

"We'll manage it," he laughed softly. "We have a few years to get through first."

"Good point," she nodded. "Der?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I get out of the chair now?"

"Of course," he laughed, pulling away. "Sorry."

"It's fine," she giggled, letting him help her up. "I just...they're small."

"I know," he sighed. "Hannah loves them."

"Well she is small," she nodded. "Doesn't work so much when you're not almost seven."

"Very true," he laughed. "You were a good sport about it though."

"She wanted me to step into her office," she rolled her eyes. "She hangs around you and the office too much."

"You have to admit it's kind of cute."

"It is," Meredith giggled, grabbing the list and then taking his hand. "Very cute."

"Sorry it ended badly," he sighed.

"It's...it's fine, Der," she sighed. "It's...anyway, here's the list."

"You made a list?"

"I...wasn't I supposed to?"

"Definitely," he nodded. "I meant to tell you to and I forgot. I'm glad you thought to do it."

"Okay, good," she grinned. "So yeah...list."

"Thank you," he smiled, as he took it from her.

"Welcome," she sighed, leaning into him.

"So you're okay, now?"

"I'm good, Der."

"Good," he grinned.

"Good," she sighed, turning to kiss him. "I love you."

"I love you too," he murmured.

"So Hannah's in her room for the next two hours..." she whispered against his lips.

"I like the way you think," he whispered.

"I know you do," she giggled, grabbing his hand and leading him towards their bedroom, kissing him the entire way as she tried to chase the terrible feeling in her chest away.

I was flying so high in your perfect sky
But I needed to fall cannot have it all
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oncetherewasaway Dec 27 2007, 01:38 PM Post #6
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McEditor

 Disclaimer: It's Halloween! If we owned Grey's Anatomy we'd be going trick or treating for McDreamies. Of course there's only one McDreamy so it would be short treating...but oh we could show him tricks.


There were kids everywhere. Meredith wasn't even sure how many kids were actually around, but they were everywhere. Screaming and running and being...kid-like. She figured stress would be the right reaction to this situation. She figured she should be freaking out and running around and trying to save their furniture. Except she couldn't stop giggling.

Which probably had something to do with all the women surrounding her boyfriend. Most girls would get jealous in this situation and probably want to kick ass and take names later. She should probably feeling something like jealousy. Except for she didn't, which probably should have been an entire other level of freaking out, being that confident about him. And it was just damn amusing.

Somehow, the moms of all these screaming kids had figured out that Hannah Shepherd had a very attractive, very wealthy, and presumably single daddy. Somehow, they had figured out there wasn't a wife in the picture. Somehow, they had all figured out a way to come today armed with brownies and cookies and offers to help out with the sleepover tonight.

And Derek looked like he wanted to sit down and cry before even considering taking any of them up on the offer. She had heard about this Derek, the one that every single woman wanted to get with and yet he had always been less than interested. She had heard plenty of stories but had never actually seen him in action as he had been different with her. So this was new and fun to watch.

"Derek," one woman, a short, squat brunette purred, "it is okay if I call you Derek, right?"

"Oh umm...sure," Derek nodded slowly.

"Well, Derek," she put a chubby hand on his arm, "I know how hard it is to take care of all these kids. And by yourself too...if you need anything, any help at all...feel free to ask."

"Thank...no, but thanks," he shook his head quickly.

"Of course he doesn't need help, Karen," another woman sighed. "He's been doing so well by himself. Of course, it must be so difficult to be raising a little girl entirely on your own, Derek. I find it...admirable." She brushed her hand against his as he reached for a cup of sprite.

"I'm not alone," Derek frowned. "Never have been."

"But without a mom for poor Hannah," the woman continued. "She's such a good little girl. You've done such a good job with her." Meredith bit her cheek, trying not to giggle.

"Oh...umm...thank you," Derek nodded, glaring in Meredith's general direction.

"You probably never get a moment to yourself," the woman smiled coyly. "I have the name of a wonderful babysitter. And my Jamie just loves your Hannah. We could go out for drinks."

"I don't think my girlfriend would like that very much."

Meredith giggled at the way the women paused for a second, obviously trying to find their way around that. This was hilarious. This was quite possibly the funniest thing she'd ever seen in her entire life. And she should probably help out her boyfriend. "Hi, baby," she giggled, coming up next to him and kissing him lightly on the lips.

"Hey hun," he greeted her far too happily as he snaked an arm around her waist.

"Hi, I'm Meredith," she held out her hand to the woman. "I'm Derek's girlfriend. Welcome to our house."

"Our?" the woman asked with a frown.

"Oh yeah," Meredith nodded, turning to Derek. "Didn't you tell them, sweetie?"

"Just getting around to it, babe," he smiled. "As I was about to say...Hannah is pretty good on the mom front right now."

Meredith forced the smile to stay on her face. Mom. He hadn't actually ever said that about her. Parenty-person. Boss. But definitely not mom. But now was not the time to freak out. Definitely not. "You're so sweet," she giggled, kissing him quickly. "But I live here. Yow know, our house. Kind of serious. Helping him out with the girl talk."

"Helping me out?" he laughed. "When you two get going I feel like the third wheel."

"That's just because you're such a guy," she laughed, turning back to the women. "But he really is the best daddy. And he's just the sweetest."

"We...we never heard anything about a girlfriend," one of the woman murmured, her face bright red.

"The name sounds familiar though," the short brunette whispered, backing away slightly.

"Yes," Derek nodded. "Hannah probably talks about Meredith a lot."

"Something about a friend named Meredith," the short woman nodded.

"That would be this one," Derek grinned. "Mer just moved in a couple of months ago so Hannah still thinks of her as a friend more than anything else."

"But I'm definitely more than just her friend," Meredith grinned widely, leaning into Derek.

"Definitely," Derek echoed, kissing her again.

"Love you, sweetie," she murmured, watching as the women all backed away a little more.

"Love you too," he whispered.

"I, uh, it's great to meet you, Meredith," a blonde said. "I just wanted to let you know that I brought brownies for tonight. And we're sure both you and Derek will do just fine."

"Thank you," Meredith smiled. "That's so....sweet."

"And I brought cookies," the brunette spoke up. "Kayla and I made them this morning, just for Hannah."

"Thanks," Derek nodded. "She'll like them, I'm sure."

"Of course she will," Meredith grinned. "Baby, do you want to help me with the cake?"

"Of course, sweetheart," Derek smiled. "It was nice talking to you all, ladies."

Meredith took his hand and led him into the kitchen, leaning over the counter as giggles overcame her. "That was...oh my god..."

"That was great," he laughed.

"You looked like you wanted to cry," she giggled, trying to catch her breath.

"I did want to cry," he sighed. "Thanks for saving me."

"No problem," she laughed, "baby."

"Please never call me that again."

"As long as you never, ever call me sweetheart."

"I can guarantee that," he laughed softly.

"Good," she sighed, turning to the fridge for the cake.

"I've never actually had that many women after me at once before."

"I'm pretty sure that's Mark's dream, right there. Well, maybe not exactly. But you looked entirely uncomfortable and it was...I should have just watched for a while longer."

"No, no," he shook his head. "I was contemplating killing you."

"But it was hilarious," she giggled. "How did it take them over a year to realize who Hannah's daddy was?"

"I have no idea."

"You know, if you want to break up with me so you can hook up with the dirty single mommys, or maybe even one of the married housewives, I'll understand."

"I'm glad you won't hold it against me."

"So just let me know if you want me to go stay with Lexie."

"I think I'll keep you."

"Aw, thanks, honey," she giggled, getting the candles out.

"Unless you keep calling me honey."

"I promise to stop."

"Then I promise to keep you."

"Good," she smiled, sticking candles into the cake.

"Make sure you put seven," Derek sighed. "Hannah reminded me about ten times already."

"Lexie called and said one for good luck," Meredith smiled softly. "Apparently you have to do one for good luck. Which I didn't know."

"You're learning," he shrugged, leaning over to kiss her cheek quickly.

"I'm learning," she sighed.

"You're doing amazing," he grinned, swiping at the icing with his finger. "Try?"

"Derek, you just ruined your daughter's cake," she giggled.

"She'll be too excited to notice," he laughed. "Besides, it gives you an excuse to suck on my finger."

"You're dirty, Derek Shepherd," she murmured, taking his finger into her mouth and sucking gently.

"Hmm..." he moaned softly. "That was probably a bad idea with this many kids in the house."

"Probably," she breathed, swirling her tongue over his finger.

"Okay...evil," he groaned, shifting on his feet.

"It was your idea," she smirked, pulling away from him.

"Didn't really think it through," he sighed. "And I can't actually go outside quite yet."

"All the dirty housewives would get an eyeful," she giggled, her eyes moving over his tightened jeans.

"Just a bit of one," he sighed.

"Then they really would steal you from me."

"And they'd be sadly disappointed."

"Well that's good," she smiled gently. "Drink some cold water, Der. It's time to sing to ou...Hannah."

"You think cold water helps with this?" he laughed.

"Well something has to," she giggled. "I can't actually do anything about it with a million kids running through the house."

"One second," he sighed, closing his eyes and taking a few deep breaths. "Okay, I'm good."

"What'd you imagine?" she giggled, grabbing the lighter.

"My mom playing with Hannah."

"Very nice," she smiled. "So...I'll turn off the lights...you take the cake."

"Can do," he nodded.

"Good," she nodded, quickly kissing his cheek and walking ahead of him.

Derek smiled to himself as he followed close behind her, the two large cake held firmly in his hands. That had been weird, that had been entirely weird having all of those women hit on him at once, with Meredith watching from a distance giggling at him, But she had rescued him. And then she had nearly called Hannah their daughter, he hadn't missed the slip. It was a good birthday for Hannah.

It was a good birthday for Hannah and it was a great day for him. He hadn't actually been entirely sure she was ready to handle this role. Hadn't been sure she'd be able to be around kids and be a hostess and be the parent who sang happy birthday. But she was doing great. She was amazing. And already those thoughts about rings and wedding dresses were in his head again.

She wasn't ready yet. He knew that. He hadn't missed the slight shock in her face when he had said the mom word. Everything was probably still feeling big on her end but it was getting better. She was freaking out less. And today she seemed like Hannah's mom. Someone who didn't know the story would think she was Hannah's mom. He figured she'd be ready soon.

Which meant things. Because he was ready. He was entirely ready to buy the ring and ask her to be his wife. Really, the entire thing seemed like a formality now, except he really did want that piece of paper, declaring her his wife. He wanted her to have a ring, he wanted to wear a ring. Even if it was just to make sure a huge group of housewives and single moms never hit on him again.

"Mer...we have to sing," he murmured to his girlfriend as they stood at the entrance of the main party room.

"Right," she nodded. "I knew that. Singing. We have to sing."

"You know the song...right?"

"Of course I know the song, Derek," she rolled her eyes.

"Just checking," he shrugged. "Just walk in...I have cake, they'll shut up. I think."

"Do I walk in singing?"

"Yeah, probably best," he nodded.

"Okay," she nodded, taking a deep breath as the sound of the millions kid screaming reached them. He pushed her forward gently with his elbow, smiling when he heard sing entirely off key, "Happy birthday to you..."

"Happy birthday to you," he joined in, watching as his little girl jumped up from where she had been sitting, her eyes wide as she smiled at them.

"Happy birthday dear Hannah, happy birthday to you!" the rest of the people in the house sang along, Hannah climbing up on a chair, her crown falling to the side of her head as he placed the cake down in front of her, wrapping an arm around Meredith's waist.

"Happy Birthday, Hannah Banana," Derek murmured. "Blow out the candles."

Hannah closed her eyes and scrunched up her nose, her brow creasing as she sat there, thinking. "Han," Meredith giggled, "people probably want to eat cake."

"Thinking, Meredith," Hannah sighed dramatically.

"Does she does this every year?" Meredith giggled to Derek.

"Sadly," he laughed softly.

"Got it!" Hannah exclaimed, bending forward and blowing out the candles.

"Was it a good one?" Derek asked.

"Yep, best one ever," Hannah nodded seriously.

"Really? What was it?"

"Can't tell, Daddy," Hannah rolled her eyes.

"Oh you can tell me," Derek grinned.

"No I can't, Daddy."

"Fine," Derek rolled his eyes.

"I get the first piece!" Hannah exclaimed.

"You do," Derek nodded. "Mer...there's a lot of them...get them to line up or something."

"Oh, um...okay," Meredith sighed, turning to look at all the kids, her eyes drifting only slightly over the mothers who were smirking slightly. "Okay, guys, if you want ice cream, we're going to have a line. I'll give you ice cream and um...Dr. Shepherd will give you cake."

"Dr. Shepherd? I sound so official," Derek laughed softly as she shephered the kids into a line.

"Well...I mean, what do they call you?" she whispered.

"I'm good with Derek but I get a lot of Hannah's Daddy," he shrugged.

"Oh," she giggled.

"But Dr. Shepherd makes me feel important," he smiled, handing another child a plate of cake.

"You do realize you are called Dr. Shepherd at least fifty times a day, almost every day?" she rolled her eyes, smiling as she handed one of the kid's an individual cup of vanilla ice cream.

"Yes, I know," he nodded. "Still like it...especially coming from you."

"Derek...kids," she lowered her voice.

"Dirty mind," he murmured.

"Not having this conversation."

"Definitely not," he shook his head.

"Good," she smiled, handing another kid some ice cream.

"Make sure you sit down to eat, guys," Derek reminded the kids.

"Is there chocolate ice cream, Hannah's mommy?" a little girl asked Meredith.

"Oh ummm..." Meredith cleared her throat. "Yes, we have chocolate."

"That's my favorite," the little girl grinned. "Thanks, Hannah's mommy!"

"You...you're welcome," Meredith nodded.

Derek watched her as she went on autopilot, shaking his head slightly as he finished handing out cake, sliding a piece towards her. She nodded her thanks but didn't say anything. He had figured something like that was going to happen. He had. And she had handled it beautifully. No freaking out in front of the kids. But still, the panic was there. The panic was entirely there.

She'd be okay. She was pretty good at bouncing back from her freak outs and he had a feeling that every freak out got her to a step closer to where he already was, entirely ready to marry her and grow old with her. Which would definitely make her panic but they'd get there. Eventually kids would be able to call her Hannah's mom and she'd be happy to hear it.

After cake came the presents, which allowed Derek to stand next to his daughter, his arms around Meredith's waist, watching as his seven year old opened the mountains of gifts from her friends. He and Meredith had already given Hannah her presents that morning. He had had fun telling Meredith about his tradition of waking Hannah up on her birthday at two minutes past six, the exact time she was born. And even Meredith had woken up to take part in waking the seven year old up for her presents.

And then they had spent the entire day getting ready for the party, the three of them like a strange family that was entirely unofficial and entirely perfect. He had loved it even if it had included a lot of running around. It had been perfect. And this part was insane, having this many children in their house was definitely insane but still kind of perfect. His family was happy.


Disclaimer: Very very soon they might announce that the writers are on strike. We think this is silly. If we owned the show we would not be striking. As striking would lead to not seeing Paddy every day.

Derek pulled his car into his mom's driveway and killed the ignition, letting his Clash CD turn off before he hopped out of the car. He was tired. He wanted to get Hannah and get home. Him and Hannah would have a few hours to kill before Meredith got home and he figured it would be nice. Not that he didn't love having Meredith around, but he wanted some alone time with his daughter.

She was doing incredibly well with all of this. He was trying his hardest to make sure both Meredith and Hannah got the attention they deserved, and he was trying even harder to bring Meredith into their family without making Hannah feel as if her life was spiraling out of control. And while he was the one who tucked her in every night, he was looking forward to a few hours of go fish.

"Mom...Hannah..." he called as he let himself into the house.

"Daddy!" Hannah exclaimed as she came running towards him, the pig tails Meredith had done that morning flying out behind her as she launched herself into his arms. "Hi, Daddy!"

"Hey Hannah!" he smiled, hugging her tightly.

"Nana made cookies!" Hannah grinned widely, kissing his cheek.

"Did she?" he asked.

"Yep," she nodded. "Chocolate chocolate chip."

"And you at a lot, didn't you?"

"Five!" Hannah nodded excitedly. "They're the bestest, Daddy."

"That's great, Han," he laughed. "And now I get to take you home."

"Hello, dear," his mom came from the kitchen, wiping her hands on a dish towel. "How was work?"

"Long but not bad," Derek sighed. "Thanks for watching her."

"We had a lot of fun," Mrs. Shepherd smiled widely. " She's a wonderful baker."

"Because of you," Derek smiled.

"Next week we're doing brownies," Mrs. Shepherd kissed her granddaughter's dark curls. "Hannah, why don't you go upstairs and finish your homework while I talk to Daddy?"

Hannah nodded quickly and dissapeared up the stairs as Derek stretched back up to standing. "What's up Mom?"

"I just wanted to talk, Derek," she nodded, heading towards the kitchen. "I have cookies and a pot of coffee."

"You're just want to talk is an entire countries Spanish Inquisition," Derek sighed, following behind her.

"Don't be silly, Derek," she shook her head, pouring him a cup of coffee and putting the plate of cookies down on the table. "I'm your mother. I'm allowed to talk to you."

"Of course," Derek sighed, sitting down. "Just don't make it too long...Mer's off in a few hours and I want some alone time with Hannah before she gets home."

"I'll do what I can," Mrs. Shepherd sat down. "How is everything, Derek?"

"Things are great, Mom," Derek smiled.

"Really? You and Meredith are all right?"

"We're great," he sighed. "Amazing."

"She seems like a very sweet girl."

"Mom...she is," Derk sighed. "She's amazing."

"A bit of a nervous girl, but very sweet."

"She gets nervous," Derek agreed. "She has her reasons, Mom. This is all new to her."

"New to her?" Mrs. Shepherd asked, handing him a cookie.

"Yeah...family, being in love, being a mom...new to her."

"I understand being a mom," Mrs. Shepherd nodded. "It must be very difficult for her. Becoming a parent to a rambunctious little girl is never easy."

"She freaks out occasionally and thinkks she's doing a crap job but honestly...she'd doing amazing."

"I'm sure she is," Mrs. Shepherd smiled. "Hannah seems very fond of her."

"She is," Derek grinned.

"Which is very good," she nodded. "Derek, what do you know about Meredith? According to Mark, it started in a very interesting way. And you've been dating nearly a year."

"What did Mark actually tell you?" Derek frowned.

"Only that it was a story you should tell me, but it certainly didn't involve dating in the normal sense," she frowned.

"Oh..." Derek sighed. "Mom...I'm not telling you details, and trust me you don't want to know. It wasn't taditional but it was what worked for us and it got us to where I wanted to be."

"All right," Mrs. Shepherd nodded slowly. "I just want to make sure you are in a good place, Derek. I don't know anything about this girl. For the past year, you've been insisting it's not time yet. And now you're living with her and talking about marrying her."

"I am going to marry her," he sighed. "And I wasn't ready. I met her at the intern mixer last year and we flirted. Things kind of spiraled from there."
"But what do you know about her, Derek? Do you know if she wants any of the same things? I wasn't entirely sure when I asked her. She rambled when I asked her about marriage. And children...she entirely froze."

"She wants forever with me," Derek nodded. "She's terrified but when it comes down it, it's exactly what she wants. Her life has been complicated in ways it shouldn't have been. Her life didn't set her up to have this or anything like this. But she does want it."

"Our pasts don't always dictate who we are, Derek. We choose to move past them."

"I know that, Mom. And she's working on doing just that. She just never had a reason to do that before."

"What about her past has made her so nervous?"

"You know enough doctors...recognize the name Ellis Grey?"

"Dr. Ellis Grey," Mrs. Shepherd said slowly. "The name sounds familiar."

"She was one of the first major female surgeons in the country. And Meredith's mom."

"Which means what exactly?"

"It means she always put the job before her family. Which meant going through a divorce when Meredith was five. And then being a crap mom for the rest of Meredith's life...when his dad was no where."

"She had a hard childhood," Mrs. Shepherd sighed.

"Extremely hard," Derek nodded. "And a few years ago her mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She's now in a home."

"Oh dear," Mrs. Shepherd shook her head. "That poor girl."

"She's been sworn to secrecy," Derek sighed. "And when she decided to go find her dad she instead found him dead and a step mother and two half sisters she had never heard about."

"My god," Mrs. Shepherd sighed. "And then you met her."

"And then I met her. She's damaged, Mom."

"She is. But so are you. On some level, so are you. Does she know that? Does she know what you've been through, Derek?"

"Not everything," he shook his head. "She knows it hasn't been easy."

"But she has no idea how difficult it's been?"

"No, not really," he sighed. "She's...skittish. I don't want to freak her out anymore than she's freaked already."

"Derek, this has always been your problem," Mrs. Shepherd sighed, reaching for his hand, "you worry too much about other people and don't take care of yourself. You've done it since your father died."

"Mom...she'll find out everything in time," Derek sighed.

"Really? You're going to sit down and tell her everything?"

"Well...no. But she didn't either. We kind of talk in round about ways."

"Then what exactly do you know about her, Derek?" she repeated her earlier question. "Is she career-oriented? Does she want children? Does she want to get married? Do you even know what you want?"

"I want to marry her. I want to grow old with her," he shrugged. "I don't know about kids but that's...the future. And she...I don't know, Mom. She's not her Mom but...I know she didn't want children. Getting involved with Hannah and I was a big leap for her."

"But you don't know if she's willing to give what you've given?"

"I know, Mom. I know her."

"Derek, I'm happy for you," she smiled gently. "I'm very happy for you. I just want to make sure you and Hannah don't get hurt. You've been through enough."

"I know, Mom. But Meredith...I love her."

"She loves you too. I don't know much about her, but I got that from our conversation. She is very well-suited to you."

"She is. She fits me perfectly."

"And she loves Hannah," Mrs. Shepherd grinned. "Which is more than enough for me. For now at least."

"She adores Hannah," Derek grinned. "For someone who was unsure about kids she's a natural."

"When I came over that day, they had built a fort," Mrs. Shepherd laughed.

"They do that a lot," Derek laughed softly. "Mer didn't have a childhood so I think she's living through a lot of things with Hannah."

"And how is Hannah?" Mrs. Shepherd sighed. "She still seems to be having some behavior issues."

"She is," Derek nodded. "When Mer and I were first dating she was good with things because Mer was her bestest friend. All of a sudden Mer is basically her mom. It's brought up some problems."

"Have you talked to Hannah about any of this?"

"I have," he sighed. "She listens, she says things that makes me think she gets it...but it goes right back to being an issue."

"And of course you're being too soft on her," she nodded.

"Mom..." Derek groaned. "My daughter. I'm raising her my way."

"I understand that, Derek. And I've been very good about letting you raise her your own way."

"You have," he nodded. "And I know a lot has gone on in her life in the last year but please don't let it change that. Hannah has a mom now...a relunctant one that freaks at the word Mom but still...a Mom."

"The question is...is she ready to have a mom?"

"We're working on that," Derek sighed. "Because anything else isn't an option."

"All right," Mrs. Shepherd sighed. "In the meantime, I'll try to pretend my granddaughter isn't turning into quite a handful."

"She's always been a handful."

"Derek..."

"Mom, I know things have been rouch recently. Meredith and I are dealing with it. And things will get better."

"And if you need any help, you know I'm here."

"We know."

"Good."

"And we really are great."

"And I'm very happy for you."

"Thanks."

"Daddy!" Hannah came running into the kitchen. "Is it time to go yet?"

"It is," Derek nodded.

"Yay!" Hannah grinned widely, reaching for another cookie.

"Hannah, that's a lot of cookies today," Derek reminded her gently.

"But I made them, Daddy," she giggled, taking a bite. "They're good, right?"

"They're great, Han," he grinned.

"Nana, can I take some cookies to Meredith?" Hannah asked her grandmother.

"Of course you can," Mrs. Shepherd nodded.

"Good," Hannah grinned. "Meredith likes cookies."

"She does," Derek agreed. "And she'll love that you made these cookies."

"Cause they're the bestest," Hannah nodded, watching as Mrs. Shepherd put some cookies in a tupperware dish. "Thank you, Nana."

"You're welcome, Hannah," Mrs. Shepherd smiled.

"I'm ready to go, Daddy," Hannah smiled widely. "And I did all my homework."

"Good girl," Derek grinned. "Meredith works for a bit longer so it's just the two of us."

"Can we play Candyland?"

"Of course we can," Derek nodded.

"Good," Hannah grinned and then hugged Mrs. Shepherd tightly. "Bye, Nana."

"Bye Hannah bug," Mrs. Shepherd smiled. "I'll see you later."

"Love you," Hannah giggled.

"Love you too, Hannah," Mrs. Shepherd laughed softly. "Bye Derek."

"Bye, Mom," he grinned, kissing her cheek quickly.

"And remember we can talk whenever you need to," Mrs. Shepherd sighed.

"I know, Mom," he sighed. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Tell Meredith I say hello."

"We will," Hannah giggled as Derek swung her up into his arms. "Bye, Nana!"

"Bye Han," Mrs. Shepherd smiled.

"Come on, Daddy!" Hannah exclaimed. "Let's go home."

"Home," Derek nodded, hugging his daughter quickly, leading her out of the house.

My weary mind is rested
And I feel as if my home is in your arms
Fears are all gone, I like the sound of your song
And I think I want to sing it forever


Disclaimer: Alicia and Katie hate being females as we are in a lot of pain because of it. If we owned Grey's Anatomy we'd still be in a lot of pain. Except for we could get Paddy to give us a back massage or something and life would be the best. (don't ask how we're in synch and live miles away...we're not quite sure)


She was giggly. She was completely and totally giggly. And Meredith Grey was not the type of person to walk around the hospital with a big huge grin on her face while giggling for no reason. She had a feeling people thought she was crazy. She knew Cristina was threatening to disown her. But it was okay. Because she had a dress, a really nice dress, waiting for her. Waiting for the end of her shift.

A very tiny voice in her head was trying to remind her that today was literally just a day, a random day that Derek had pulled out of no where so he'd be able to have something to celebrate since their getting together had been strange. Very strange. But today it had been a year since that strange, or kind of year. And she was giggling as she waited for her shift to end.

She had another hour. Another hour and then she'd change into a really nice dress and celebrate being with Derek for a year, or a kind of year. It felt big. Not scary big, amazing big. She had been with Derek for a year. She had been his girlfriend or his whatever for a year. And that was big. It was big and huge and she was giggly. She was completely giggly.

"You look happy," his voice cut into her thought as he walked up beside her.

"Cristina thinks I'm high," she giggled.

"Are you?" he raised an eyebrow at her.

"No!" she gasped, hitting his arm.

"Just checking," he laughed softly.

"You're an ass," she rolled her eyes, though still grinning.

"I am?"

"Yes," she nodded firmly. "You're an ass. You're an ass who makes me all giggly and than accuses me of being high. Ass."

"Oh," he grinned. "So I'm the one making you all giggly?"

"No, it's my other boyfriend."

"You're kind of snarky for a happy person."

"Sorry," she giggled. "You're the one making me all giggly. Or our anniversary or whatever."

"Good," he smiled, kissing her quickly. "I'm kind of giggly too...in a manly way of course."

"Oh of course," she giggled against his lips, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"We're nearly done," he murmured.

"An hour," she sighed.

"Too long."

"Stupid patients and sick people," she giggled. "So...any clues for tonight?"

"Do I ever give you clues?" he smirked.

"No," she rolled her eyes. "You and your surprises."

"You love them."

"I do," she sighed. "And Hannah's at your mom's?"

"She is," Derek nodded. "I promised we'd call to say good night but she's very excited for her sleepover."

"Good," Meredith murmured, looking around quickly as she ran her hands up his sides. "So your secret plans and then...empty house."

"Very empty house."

"Which means lots of good things for us."

"It does," he grinned, kissing her lightly. "Lots of good things."

"One hour," she whispered.

"One hour," he echoed.

"Hmmm," she sighed, kissing him quickly. "Meet you in the lobby?"

"I'll be there," he nodded.

"Good," she smiled, pulling away from him.

"It will go by quickly," he sighed,

"I hope so."

"Just keep giggling," he smiled as he checked his phone quickly. "I think you're making patients smile."

"That's lame, Der," she giggled.

"It's true," he sighed.

"Lame," she giggled. "I'll see you in the lobby at six."

"Definitely," he nodded.

"Love you," she smiled widely.

"Love you too."

Meredith giggled as she turned and started walking away from him and then turned again. "Der?"

"Yeah?"

"Happy anniversary," she grinned widely.

"Happy anniversary, Mer," he nodded, his smile reflecting hers.

She giggled as she walked away from him, getting odd looks for people in the hallway. It had been an amazing day, a really great day filled with lots of giggling. And it would be an amazing night. An amazing night filled with lots of sex and food and champagne. It was going to be incredibly great and amazing and she was pretty sure she couldn't be any happier.

She only had an hour left to kill. She'd round on her patients, do some paperwork and be able to leave. Hand in hand with an equally giggly Derek. Not that Derek giggled. Well he sometimes did, like when they had gotten him drunk on his birthday and there had been some giggling New Years Eve but he usually didn't giggle. Today he was. Today was a day for giggling.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He had made it. He had managed to make it for the last hour of his shift without entirely losing his mind. He had been grinning all day, grinning and whistling. It was his and Meredith's anniversary. He knew it was a day he had made up. He knew he had picked an entirely random day, but it was their day. It was their anniversary. It was the day everything had changed.

They had to have a day. They couldn't just celebrate some vague two week period around this time so today was it. And he had plans. Plans that involved a fancy dinner, and drinking too much wine and a cab ride home to a very empty house. He had been planning it in his head for weeks. He had worked months to even convince her to give him a chance and now it had been a year.

He couldn't believe it had been a year. It didn't seem possible, at all. He had worked months to be with her, he had known they could be good together. And now it was a year. It was a year and they were entirely in love, entirely happy. Beyond great together. "Hey," she greeted him, dressed in a black dress.

"Wow," he breathed.

"Wow?" she asked, kissing him deeply.

"You look amazing."

"Thank you," she blushed, running her hands over his chest.

"Ready to celebrate?" he asked as he circled his arms around her waist.

"Definitely," she grinned, kissing him again. "Still no clues?"

"What do you think?"

"You suck sometimes," she sighed as she reached for her jacket.

"Oh I know," he laughed.

"You're lucky I love you," she sighed, slipping her coat on.

"I know," he murmured, kissing her gently. "Let's get out of here."

"Definitely," she nodded, deepening the kiss slightly, groaning when her pager went off. "Seriously?"

"I'm sure it's....crap," Derek groaned as his started beeping as well.

"We're off," she sighed, looking down at hers. "It's the pit."

"Damn it."

"I...maybe it's fast?"

"Maybe," he shrugged. "We'll probably miss our reservations."

"Probably," she groaned, moving towards the ER quickly, Derek following quickly behind her. "What's going on?" she asked loudly as the ER moved busily around them, both of them rushing to get gowns over their dressier clothes.

"Major car accident," a nurse barked out to them.

"Fuck," Meredith swore under her breath.

"This is not the night for this," Derek groaned.

"Dr. Shepherd!" a nurse called him. "I have a massive brain injury here."

"Crap," he sighed, frowning slightly at Meredith. "I'll make this up to you."

"It's fine, Der," she shook her head, grabbing some gloves. "We'll...it sucks but it's fine."

"I still owe you one," he frowned, kissing her quickly. "I'll text you when I know how long I'll be."

"Dr. Grey!" someone called Meredith. "We need you over here!"

"See you," Derek sighed.

"Bye, Der," she groaned, running off quickly.

Derek groaned as he watched her run off, her high heels clacking against the floor before he turned toward his patient, trying not to curse too much under his breath. He hated this part of the job. Surgeons made plans and God laughed and he hated it. He was supposed to be headed to a nice restaurant with his girlfriend to celebrate the best year of his life, not cutting.

This wasn't how the night he had chosen to celebrate the past year, an absolutely amazing year, was supposed to work out. She was dressed up. She was wearing high heels and a beautiful dress that he had already tearing off of her. This was not how this night was supposed to end up. It was one the truly rare occasions when he wished he could have chosen to be something more predictable.

Of course he'd be bored to death in something more predictable and he probably would have never met Meredith but at least if he had met her he'd be able to take her out like a normal person. He had to do something. It had been a year of perfection in far too many ways and he couldn't just let the day pass by with nothing but a crowded ER. It was wrong.

"Brain's bleeding," he said quickly. "Get him prepped for the OR now. I'll meet you up there." He walked away from the patient quickly, watching as Meredith instructed one of her interns on trauma protocol before pulling his cell phone off his belt. If he was lucky, he would be able to get something small. He would be able to find some way to make this day special.
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oncetherewasaway Dec 27 2007, 01:39 PM Post #7
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 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He was officially ready to go home. He had been cutting for the last five hours and hadn't even seen Meredith. At this point he was supposed to be in bed, completely naked, and with her. Instead he was here and no where near her. He didn't even know where she was. Last message she had sent had said still in the pit but that had been hours ago. This was wrong.

He probably wasn't supposed to be pissed at the people in a car accident, but he was. He still wasn't entirely sure what the final count was, he only knew it had been a seven car pile up, involving a semi and a tipped RV that had ended up catching fire. And he was pissed. Because this was supposed to be his night with his beautiful girlfriend, not his night in the OR.

He wondered if by some miracle there was no more brain injuries looking for his attention and no more...well anything for Meredith. He'd have to check on his patient but at least he'd have a few hours to steal with her instead of nothing. This nothing sucked. He hadn't actually remembered another time he had actively hated his job in the way he was right now.

"Hey," he suddenly heard her voice as she came up behind her, changed out of the amazing black dress and heels into scrubs and her tennis shoes.

"Hey," he sighed happily.

"You ordered me flowers," she smiled.

"You got them?" he grinned.

"I did," she nodded, hugging him quickly. "When did you do that?"

"Right after we got pulled apart," he shrugged.

"Thank you," she sighed, resting her head on his shoulder.

"You're welcome," he murmured, squeezing her tightly for a second. "Are they nice?"

"They're...flowers," she giggled.

"That's my girl," he laughed.

"But yeah," she shrugged. "I guess they're nice. For flowers. So um...thank you."

"I had to do something."

"I didn't...your present is at home," she sighed dramatically.

"I have a present?" he grinned.

"Yeah," Meredith nodded. "According to Lexie, you have to get people presents for anniversaries."

"Yours is at home too."

"Good," she nodded and then frowned. "This is crazy. Completely crazy. Seven cars, a semi, and an RV."

"It's insane," he agreed. "And it had to happen tonight. I'm angry at them. That has got to be the wrong emotion."

"You can't be mad at six dead people and a lot of injured people."

'I know," he sighed. "I'm a horrible person."

"It is stupid that it had to happen tonight."

"Thank you for making me feel a little better," he grinned.

"You're welcome," she giggled. "Now we can go to hell together."

"Perfect," he laughed, kissing her quickly. "It would have been so lonely without you."

"That's probably the point of hell," she shook her head, leaning into him.

"But it wouldn't be if I had you there," he breathed.

"You're a little lame, Derek," she whispered, putting her head on his chest.

"I'm allowed to be. We're supposed to be naked and celebrating right now...lame works."

"We are definitely supposed to be naked," she groaned. "Lots of naked and lots of dirty loud sex."

"I know," he sighed. "I even got rid of the kid."

"You love the kid," she giggled and then sighed. "Why did we want to be doctors?"

"We like torture and sexless nights?"

"I think it was more about the whole saving lives thing," Meredith groaned as her pager went off. "I should have been a kindergarten teacher."

"You'd be a cute kindergarten teacher."

"You really are on a cheesiness roll," she giggled as she wrapped her arms around him. "I don't want to go."

"I don't want you to go either," he murmured, holding her tightly.

"You're my boss, tell them to go away," she whispered just as his pager went off. "Or maybe not."

"I hate my job," he groaned.

"I hate our jobs too," she shook her head, standing on her tiptoes to kiss him quickly. "I'll see you later, Der."

"See you, Mer," he whispered.

She turned and ran off as her pager went off again, leaving him turning to go in the opposite direction. He really and truly hated his job. Because today was supposed to be perfect, today was supposed to end with sex and nakedness and champagne. Instead, he was at the hospital, getting only small glimpses of his amazing girlfriend and being forced to send her flowers.

This had to end eventually. The accident had been big but it hadn't been that big and he would manage to get her alone for more than a five minute meet and greet. He had to find a way to manage that because not seeing his girlfriend on their one year anniversary seemed wrong. They should have booked the weekend off and gone far away where something like this couldn't happen.

Next year, that's what he would do. He would book a weekend in wine country or something and take her as far away as humanly possible from the hospital. There would be a moratorium on their pagers and they would just be naked in wine country. The idea was entirely too appealing right now and he seriously considered calling a travel agent now to book it, to somehow make up for this terrible anniversary.

He had to do something to make this up to her. He was supposed to be the one teaching her how this relationship thing worked, showing her the ins and outs, really romancing her. And after everything the woman had been through, she deserved the best. This was not the best. This wasn't the worst, it was some strange mix in between being entirely happy it was a year, and entirely pissed off that they were stuck here.

He'd find someway to make this up to her. But for now, flowers would have to do. Hurried glimpses would have to do. It wasn't at all what he wanted, and it wasn't what she deserved, but for now, it would have to work. At least until he had time to do something other than be pissed about the accident and crave her body against his.

She was exhausted. She was exhausted and all too soon she had to do this again. She was supposed to be sleeping right now, she had three hours before her shift started and she was supposed to be at home, entirely curled up in Derek's arms and fast asleep. And naked because they were supposed to spend the night having sex. Well whatever was left of the night after his plans. She wasn't supposed to be here.

She loved being a doctor. There wasn't much in the world that was better than being a doctor. Except sex. Sex and lying naked in bed with Derek. And a night with Derek, just them. Those things were definitely better than being a doctor. Especially since right now, she hated being a doctor. And she actually was getting the feeling she wasn't forming coherent thoughts at this point.

It was down now. The emergency was done. Technically they could go home. Except for home was about half an hour away. Which made for about an hour of driving. And then getting upstairs and getting to sleep and then having to wake up earlier to make sure they go there on time. Home was a stupid idea and it meant actually less sleep. So she'd have to find some kind of on call room and collapse.

Collapsing would feel good right now. She could barely move, and she was pretty sure she never wanted to move again. She had been working non stop for almost thirty hours at this point. Collapsing was the only thing that really worked at this point. Seeing Derek would be nice too, but she wasn't pressing her luck. She sighed as she made her way into a nearby on call room, slipping off her shoes and falling onto the bed.

"Mer?" a voice caused her to open her eyes again. She had no idea how long they had even been closed. It could have been an hour but it felt more like minutes. She hoped it was minutes, minutes would give her more time to sleep.

"Hmmm?" she groaned, pulling the blanket up over her shoulders.

"It's me," the voice murmured, closing the door to make the room dark again. She heard shuffling as the voice took off shoes and then weight shifted on the bed.

She took a deep breath, smiling slightly when she felt his arms go around her. "Der," she breathed.

"Yeah," he whispered, pressing his lips to her neck. "I found you."

"You found me," she nodded, rolling over to rest on top of him, her cheek resting against his beating heart.

"Finally," he sighed, holding her tight to him.

"Finally," she echoed as she let out a breath, her arms moving under him to massage his lower back.

"This sucked," he groaned. "It completely sucked."

"It really, really did," she murmured.

"Sorry."

"For?"

"Our destroyed night."

"Not your fault," she shook her head lazily.

"Still sorry," he sighed. "I now owe you an amazing night."

"It's fine, Derek," she whispered. "Amazing nights are fun but...sleep. That's all I want right now."

"Can do," he murmured. "Happy anniversary, Mer."

"Happy anniversary, Derek," she breathed, her eyes falling shut again as his grasp tightened around her.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

He squeezed her tightly one more time before his body relaxed against hers. She didn't have to move to know that his eyes had fallen shut. Tonight had sucked, it had been a very sucky night. But this was good. It wasn't their bed, it wasn't their home but it was something. She was curled up against his chest, exhausted and finally able to fall asleep how she wanted.


And if all the world was smiling
I would only ever want to see your frown
You know they can sail away in sunsets
We'll be right here stranded on the ground
Just happy to be found


Disclaimer: We've been planning this update for a while now. And we love this update, we're excited for this update. We really are. And if we owned the show we'd make things like this happen, because they'd be steady enough to have things like this happen. Of course, we don't own the show.

"Meredith! Meredith!" Derek's voice called down the hallyway behind her as she walked toward the elevators. She didn't want to turn around to look at him. Not that she didn't love looking at her boyfriend. But she knew what time it was. Derek was done for the day so he'd be wearing normal clothes. And it would just be a nice annoying reminder that she was still stuck here.

"Hey," she sighed, stopping and turning to look at him, biting back a groan. Apparently not only was a it an annoying reminder that she was stuck here, seeing Derek was an annoying reminder that she wanted to have sex with him.

"Well you look happy to see me," he smirked, before ducking his head down and kissing her quickly.

"Sorry," she sighed against his lips. "Long day."

"Sorry you're still stuck here," he sighed, running a hand through her hair.

"For another two hours," she groaned. "Which wouldn't be bad if I hadn't been working since five yesterday."

"You'll make it," he smiled encouragingly. "And when we get Hannah to bed tonight I'll give you a back rub."

"And that's why I keep you around," she giggled, leaning into him.

"Of course it is," he laughed. "Don't forget we have Hannah's thing tonight."

"Oh yeah," she nodded. "Parent watch day."

"You're meeting us there, right?"

"Yeah," she nodded again. "I may be a couple minutes late but...I'll meet you there."

"Late happens," he sighed, kissing her again quickly. "I hate going home without you."

"I know," she whispered. "I hate it too."

"I'd steal you if I could get away with it."

"That would be interesting," she giggled.

"Bailey would have my head," he laughed.

"Which would be very, very bad."

"It would be," he sighed.

"Two more hours," Meredith sighed. "And then I can go. With a huge cup of coffee."

"That tired?"

"I'd kill for a bed."

"Two hours, Mer. And then an hour at Hannah's dance class and we'll get you home to all the bed you want."

"Good," she breathed. "And then I'm sleeping for as long as humanly possible."

"So till six tomorrow morning?"

"Longer would be better," she groaned.

"You picked the wrong proffesion, Mer."

"Which we've discussed a million times."

"We have," he nodded. "Don't have too much fun without me."

"I'll try," she rolled her eyes. "Just interns today."

"Fun," he rolled his eyes, before kissing her again. "I'll see you in a bit."

"Bye, Der," she murmured against his lips, squeezing him tightly.

"Love you," he whispered.

"Love you too," she replied, kissing him again. "See you in a couple of hours."

"See you," he nodded, before walking away.

Meredith sighed as she watched her boyfriend walk away, suddenly dying to run after him and leave with him. He looked well-rested, he looked amazing, he looked like he would be able to pull her into his arms and let her just...sleep. She was entirely exhausted. But two hours. She could do two hours. Well, three hours. But she could do this.

***********************************************************************************************************

She had somehow done it. It had been two hours and she was finally going home. Her body ached and her eyes were fighting to close but she just had to ignore that feeling as she wasn't going home quite yet. She could ignore the exhaustion for two more hours and then get home with Derek and fall asleep in his arms. Which right now sounded like the most tempting thing in the world.

She would just grab a cup of coffee to try to keep her awake for the drive and then she'd be able to survive the next hour or so watching Hannah at ballet. She was exhausted, but she was going to make it. Even if all she wanted to do was go home and just sleep, she would find a way to enjoy watching the little girl in her leotard jumping around. And she'd even find a way to enjoy the inevitable rambling that would come afterwards.

She just would concentrate on the getting home afterward bit, and curling up to Derek and letting the rest of the world dissapear from around her. She'd just think about that and the next hour or so would zoom by. Zooming was good. Zooming actually seemed like the last possible thing to do. She was so tired she kind of felt like anything near zooming was impossible.

"Dr. Grey," Dr. Hahn called her just in front of the locker room.

"Oh...Dr. Hahn," Meredith greeted her, trying to smile.

"I have a humpty dumpty procedure," Dr. Hahn stated. "Dr. Stevens was supposed to scrub in, but has apparently found better things to do around this hospital. I thought you might be interested."

"Oh umm...I," Meredith murmured. She was exhausted. And she had a ballet practice to get to.

"I understand you have more of an interest in neuro," Dr. Hahn smiled slightly. "But this is a very cool surgery, Dr. Grey. And not one you're likely to see again anytime soon."

"Yes, I know...it's just..." Meredith sighed. A humpty dumpty was kind of a big deal, a huge deal. She had been at this hospital for nearly two years and this was the first one that had even come in. It was kind of entirely rare. And Derek would understand that.

"Dr. Grey? I'm not going to stand here all day waiting for you to think about this."

"Sorry," Meredith nodded. "I...plans but I can...definitely. Humpty dumpty...definitely."

"I'm going to assume that was a yes," Dr. Hahn sighed. "Get one of your interns to prep him for surgery and then scrub in." She handed Meredith the chart and then walked away quickly.

Meredith smiled at the chart, suddenly feeling a lot less tired. A humpty dumpty wasn't anything she'd thought she would ever see, it was pretty amazing. And Derek would get it. He'd get the once in a lifetime surgery. Hannah would get it too. It was just a practice, she could go next week. And this would be amazing. This would probably be one of the coolest surgeries she'd see.

She paged one of her interns to the patient's room and then flipped open her phone, quickly dialing Derek's number. It went straight to voicemail and she sighed as she clipped it back to the waistband of her pants. He would get it. He would entirely get it. He'd probably even be jealous and want to hear all about it. She defintiely wasn't tired anymore. Surgery was enough of to keep her awake

*************************************************************************************************************

Now she was exhausted. Exhausted and on one of the biggest surgery highs of her life. That had been amazing, entirely amazing and feeling a little breathless. She didn't even like cardio stuff, she hated cardio usually but that had been something else. She was ready to collapse and she couldn't help but smile. She couldn't wait till she got home to tell Derek all about it.

It had just been an amazing surgery. A seriously cool surgery that was just...she couldn't actually believe she had scrubbed into that surgery. Couldn't believe she had actually been in that OR for that seriously amazing surgery. It made everything worth it. The exhaustion, the serious need for coffee...entirely worth it. And now she would have bragging rights for a few days at least.

She groaned silently as she glanced at her phone and noticed a lot of missed calls. That was probably a bad thing and he was probably less than happy. But that was okay. She'd get home and tell him about it, she'd tell him about the amazing surgery and he'd forget about all the missed calls and everything. He'd be thrilled for her. She just had to get home first.

She grabbed the biggest cup of coffee possible at the coffee cart before heading out to her car, the exhaustion suddenly hitting her hard. She had voicemails. Voicemails of him probably wondering what the hell was going on. But those would have to wait. Those would definitely have to wait until she was home safe. Because there was no way she could operate a car and listen to voicemails right now.

The drive home was fast, or at least it felt fast. Or maybe just basically a blur. It had kind of just zipped by and it probably had a lot to do with her head not being able to concentrate. She just wanted to get home and collapse into his arms and then suddenly she was home. And her whole entire body was sagging with relief of the thought of her bed. "Meredith?" Derek's voice greeted her the second she walked in.

"Hey," she sighed, dropping her keys on the table and leaning against the wall, struggling to kick off her shoes.

"Where the hell have you been?"

Okay, that was definitely Derek's pissed voice. He didn't use it often, but that was definitely his pissed voice. "I tried to call," she sighed. "Your phone went to voicemail which was probably because you turned it off at Hannah's thing. Which actually makes a lot of sense, you'd definitely want your phone off while you're watching kids dance, it would probably be rude if you didn't."

"Mer...not answering my question," he groaned. "You...you didn't answer your phone. It's been hours and you weren't answering. I thought...I didn't know what to think, I was terrified. Where have you been?"

"I was at the hospital," she smiled.

"You were...why? Did one of your patients need surgery?"

"No," she shook her head, kissing him quickly on the cheek. "You are looking at the resident who scrubbed in on a humpty dumpty procedure with Dr. Hahn."

"You...” he frowned. "Mer, you hate cardio."

"Usually," she nodded. "Usually I hate cardio. But I'm pretty sure a humpty dumpty procedure is the world's coolest surgery."

"I see," he nodded slowly. "What about Hannah?"

"What?" she frowned.

"You already had a committment."

"I know I did," she sighed. "And I'm sorry. I'll go watch her next weekend. But, Derek, it was a humpty dumpty procedure. It's...it's kind of a big deal."

"And you being there for Hannah was a big deal."

"Der, it was a practice. And I know she wanted me there and honestly...I mean, I can go watch her practice and it was a humpty dumpty surgery and it makes me really really cool that I've scrubbed in on one."

"Well that's wonderful, Mer. I'm glad being really cool is more important than being there for Hannah."

"I didn't say that," Meredith frowned. "I didn't...Der, once in a lifetime surgery. It's not like I missed it for an appy."

"The point is you missed it," he snapped. "Did you even think about her? Or did you just think about the stupid surgery."

"Of course I thought about her," she sighed. "I did. I just...Dr. Hahn needed an answer and it was a once in a lifetime...have you ever even seen a humpty dumpty in person?"

"No, Mer, I haven't. And quite frankly, I don't care."

"Okay, you don't care because you're a neurosurgeon. But it really is...I mean, it's amazing. It's completely amazing and life changing and...it's a really cool surgery, Der."

"I know it's a cool surgery," he groaned. "And me not caring...I don't care because I care more about the fact that my daughter kept running over to ask me where Meredith was. And that I sat there alone, terrified that you were off somewhere bleeding on the side of the road. That's what I care about."

"Oh," Meredith sighed, biting her lower lip. "Der...I'm sorry."

"Mer...I get the cool surgery, I do. I know what it feels like. But you promised Hannah you'd be there."

"I know I did," she nodded. "Where is she? I'll go explain."

"She's upstairs playing," he sighed. "And I don't think she wants to see you right now."

"What? Why?"

"Why? Seriously...you're asking why? Mer, you know how she is. She's pissed off at you, and she's worried that you don't love her anymore."

"That's...that's ridiculous," Meredith shook her head. "I just...there was a surgery. And I can watch her next weekend."

"You didn't promise to watch her next weekend, you promised to watch her today. You don't get to do that to my daughter."

"Derek, I said I'm sorry," Meredith groaned, moving upstairs. "And I'll apologize to her and take her out for ice cream tomorrow after work."

"No, Meredith," Derek shook his head. "You're not done talking to me."

"I’m not?"

"No," he shook his head. "Hannah isn't the only one pissed off."

"Derek, you know how it is."

"No, I don't." he shook his head. "If it had been your patient, yeah, I get that...emergencies happen. This wasn't an emergency, this was you making bad choices."

"Bad choices?" she frowned, pausing on the steps. "Derek, once in a lifetime surgery. It was...I thought about saying no, I really did. But it really was one of those surgeries...and I'm still learning. I still have to watch other surgeries and do other surgeries."

"I know that, Mer. You have shifts for that. You don't get to blow off your family for a surgery."

"I didn't blow anyone off."

"Really? Because I'm pretty sure I sat there for an hour wondering where you were, terrified you were dead."

"Okay, I'm sorry about that," she sighed. "If it happens again, I'll leave a message."

"If it happens again? You're planning on putting a surgery in front of your family again?"

"Not for anything big," she shook her head. "But it was a practice. I go to her practices all the time."

"It wasn't just practice, Mer. It was family day, she wanted her family there. Did you not even think how big that was to her?"

"I..." Meredith bit her lip. "Okay, I didn't realize...and...okay, it won't happen again."

"It better not," he shook his head. "I've spent the last six years making sure that she comes first. You're part of this now, you don't get to put her second."

"I'm not putting her second."

"Really? You don't think this made it feel like she was second?"

"I...that wasn't what I was trying to do. It was just...it was a surgery. A really cool surgery and I figured I could go watch next weekend and she's not second."

"A really cool surgery," Derek shook his head. "Exactly how did it feel when your mom didn't show up because of a really cool surgery?"

"What?" her head snapped up.

"This is the kind of shit your mom pulled. How did it make you feel?"

"No," she shook her head. "No. You don't get to bring my mom to me. You have no idea...no."

"I have no idea? What don't have an idea about? How hard it is to be a single parent and a surgeon? How hard it is to sacrifice some things? To know how badly she fucked up?"

"Don't you..." Meredith sighed, gripping the banister. "You don't get it, Derek. You don't...my mom...no. You don't get to bring her up to me. And you don't get to compare her to me."

"Right now...I do. You're not like her, Mer. You're...but this...why?"

"No, you don't," she shook her head, stepping off the steps. "You don't get to compare me to my mom. You don't get to act like I missed school plays or recitals or...you don't get to act like I'm depriving Hannah of being a kid. You don't get to do that. And you don't get to even talk about my mom. She did the best she could."

"No, Meredith, she didn't. Doing what she did...that wasn't the best she could do."

"She did the best she could," Meredith repeated. "I'm sorry she wasn't perfect like you. I'm so sorry she couldn't be the perfect parent and the perfect surgeon like you."

"Perfect? You have no idea what you're talking about, you have no idea what I went through."

"Well...I..." she paused, taking a deep breath and then shook her head. "I'm going to bed."

"Probably a good idea," he sighed. "We...cool off."

"Right," she nodded slowly. "Cool off."

"I'll be up in a bit."

"Okay," she nodded, turning to head up the stairs.

"Are you going to say goodnight to Hannah?" he called after her.

"Does she want me to?" Meredith murmured, turning to look at him.

"I don't know," he shrugged.

"Okay," she sighed. "I'm going to say good night to her then. And apologize."

"Okay," he nodded.

She turned and started up the stairs again, gripping the banister. That definitely hadn't gone the way she thought it would. She hadn't expected him to be that mad. She hadn't expected him to...she had thought he'd be proud. She knew he had a point. She knew she shouldn't have missed out on Hannah's night for a surgery, but she really hadn't wanted to hurt either of them.

She wasn't doing what her mom had done, she'd never do that to Hannah. Hannah deserved more than that and it hadn't been her intention at all. It had just been a really cool surgery and she had probably not actually thought as much as she should have. She definitely should have thought more. She should have considered how big family night was supposed to be.

She had just been entirely exhausted. Entirely exhausted and she hadn't been thinking properly. And then she had been offered a very cool surgery and...she probably hadn't thought things through. But it wasn't like her mom. Her mom had been at the hospital all the time, her mom had skipped out on stuff for appys, for anything. And she had done it all the time. She wasn't doing what her mom had done.

"Hannah?" Meredith asked softly, as she knocked at Hannah's door.

"What?" the little girl frowned from her spot on her bed, a book opened in front of her.

"I'm uhh...going to bed," Meredith murmured. "And I thought...I'm sorry I missed tonight."

"It was family night," Hannah groaned. "It was family night and that means family comes and you didn't come."

"I know," Meredith sighed, walking into the room. "A pretty cool surgery came up and I...I made a mistake. I'm really sorry."

"Nana came. Daddy came. Uncle Monkey came. Even Addie came."

"I know. I should have been there."

"But you didn't."

"I didn't," Meredith nodded. "You're pretty mad, aren't you?"

"Yeah," Hannah nodded, turning from her. "Really, really, really mad."

"You should be. My mom used to do it to me sometimes...it wasn't fun."

"You didn't come, Meredith. Daddy says you're apart of the family and I gotta listen to you cause you're my family now and you didn't come."

"I am your family," Meredith nodded. "I should have been there, I know."

"You're the meanest Meredith in the world," Hannah sighed, pulling her blankets over her head.

"Oh..." Meredith breathed. "I...I really am sorry. I'll make it up to you somehow."

"I'm ready to go to sleep," Hannah said, sounding muffled underneath the blanket. "Go get Daddy."

"I will," Meredith nodded. "Goodnight, Hannah. I love you."

"Go get Daddy," Hannah repeated as Eskimo jumped onto the bed.

"Okay," Meredith whispered, backing out of the bedroom, trying to blink back tears. She probably had deserved that. She definitely had. But it didn't actually make it hurt any less. And now she had to go talk to Derek again and he would probably want to know how it went. Or he wouldn't. She wasn't sure how much of a rush he was in to talk to her either. He might actually echo Hannah's sentiment of her being the meanest Meredith in the world.

She hadn't meant to do this. She really hadn't meant to be the meanest Meredith in the world. It had been a once in a lifetime surgery. Derek had to get that. He was one of the best surgeons in the country. He hadn't gotten to that by skipping out on amazing surgeries. But she definitely hadn't meant to hurt Hannah. She had been tired and it was a cool surgery. "Hannah's ready for bed," she called to Derek who was walking up the stairs.

"Okay, thanks," Derek nodded, not meeting her eyes.

"Okay," she murmured, moving towards the bedroom. This was bad. She hated being mad at Derek. She hated when he was mad at her. And he was really, really mad. She actually hadn't seen him this mad, ever. And it was entirely her fault. But even if she had screwed up, and she definitely had, he didn't have the right to bring up her mom to her. He didn't get it. He didn't get what her mom had done. It had been relatively easy for him. He had figured it out.

She wasn't like her mom. She had made a bad decision and she definitely hadn't meant to hurt either of them. It had been a once in a lifetime thing and it wasn't something that she wanted to miss. She wanted to see it. And the family day, it probably hadn't been the best to miss. But this was bad. He was really mad and he didn't look like he wanted to stop being mad anytime soon.

She changed into her pajamas quickly, pulling on one of Derek's shirts and falling into bed, curling into herself. She was exhausted. She was completely exhausted and she didn't want to think about this. She definitely didn't want to think about how badly she had screwed this up. She didn't want to think about how pissed he was at her. She just wanted to sleep.

She squeezed her eyes shut and hoped she would fall asleep before the tears came. Or before Derek climbed into bed. Because usually Derek crawled in behind her and hugged her tightly. Tonight he probably wouldn't and she didn't want to be awake for that. She didn't want to be in this situation. She didn't want Derek to be this mad at her, she didn't want to fight with him.

She heard the door open and then shut and she pulled the blankets over her, biting her lip as a tear slid down her cheek. She didn't want this. She didn't want to fight. She didn't even want to be mad at him. Except he had compared her to her mom. He had accused her of being like her mom. And she wasn't. She wasn't Ellis. She could never be Ellis.

He didn't say anything. She bit her lip and tried to keep her shoulders from shaking. She wasn't going to cry. She was mad and she didn't want to talk to him right now, she didn't need him yelling at her or her sympathy or whatever else he was going to offer. The drawer closed and in seconds she felt the weight shift in the bed as he slipped in behind her, not actually moving to touch her.

She took a deep breath in, hoping it didn't sound shaky as he turned off the lamp on his side, settling back down, still not touching her. Which was...it was fine. He wasn't going to touch her. He was angry. It made sense. She didn't really want to touch him either. Except already she was missing his arms tight around her, already she was missing that warm comfort. She let her breath out slowly as another tear slid down her cheek.

He sighed loudly to himself and she swore his breath sounded shaky but it had to be only in her head. He was mad. He had a right to be mad and she had a right to be mad. They didn't need to cuddle and say I love you. They were in a fight. The bed shifted again as he turned and threw and arm around her. Not as tight as usual, not cuddling close, just casually resting there. "I love you," he murmured.

She took a deep breath, moving only slightly closer to him as another tear made it's way down to her chin. "I love you too," she whispered and then fell silent as she let herself cry.

Derek moved behind her again, shifting closer on the bed as he moved to hug her tighter, giving her a tight squeeze as tears felt down her cheeks. He wasn't talking but he was there, holding her close. And that was okay. It was okay that he was there and not taking and just being Derek. His body relaxed behind hers as he stayed silent, holding her close to him.

She buried her head in the pillow until the tears had finally subsided, until finally, she could feel the exhaustion completely taking over her. His grasp on her relaxed and she moved her hand to grip the pillow tightly, slowing down her breathing until finally, she was asleep.

Driving away from the wreck of the day
And the light's always red in the rear-view
Desperately close to a coffin of hope
I'd cheat destiny just to be near you


Disclaimer: We don't own the show. But if we did we would happily share it with Stacey McKee. Because she wrote tonight's episode. And well...we have mad love for it so we have mad love for her. So we'd so share it.

The house was quiet. Entirely too quiet. She had been dating Derek for a year and she had never actually heard his house be this quiet. It didn't help that Hannah was at his mom's or that he wasn't actually talking to her, so it made sense that the house was too quiet. He had said maybe four words to her all day, or maybe five, and it didn't look like he was letting up anytime soon.

She hadn't actually expected much different. Even if they had fallen asleep in each other's arms, a whispered I love you exchanged between them, she knew today was going to be bad. But this was awkward. They hadn't done awkward in over a year and this sucked. But she didn't know what to say to him. She didn't know how she was supposed to apologize for what happened.

She knew she was supposed to apologize. She had screwed up. She had missed a big family day and that had been...it had been bad. She had screwed up. But she couldn't actually figure out what to say. Because he was supposed to understand this. He was supposed to understand residency and trying to be the best. And he was supposed to understand that she wasn't Ellis.

And he definitely didn't seem like he was about to apologize. He kept looking at her. Not in a bad way but in a very non-Dereky way. She was used to him looking at her, he did it all the time. And usually it was something to do with how much he loved her or how much he wanted to get her naked. Today the looks were some strange place between anger and sadness. And expecting something.

He was expecting her to apologize. Or expecting her to do something. Apologize was a safe bet. She just couldn't. She had no idea how. And he needed to apologize too. He had said things. Things he knew would hurt her. But instead, they were sitting in the living room, the TV on as he sat in the arm chair and she sat on the couch, neither of them saying a word.

"Hungry?" he suddenly asked, his voice quiet.

"Oh," she breathed. "Um....yeah."

"Okay," he nodded. "I'll make something, I guess."

"You don't...I can find something," she sighed.

"No, Mer," he shook his head. "I can take care of it."

"Okay," she murmured.

"Mom is bringing Hannah home soon," he sighed, not moving from his seat.

"I...I know," she nodded slowly. She hated this. Completely hated it.

"Yeah," he nodded, sighing loudly. "Mer...I..."

"What?" she breathed, turning to look at him.

"Nothing," he shook his head. "Just...anything you want?"

Besides the awkwardness to end and for him to somehow figure out a way to fix this...she shook her head. "No. Nothing...anything is good."

"Okay," he nodded, finally moving from his spot. "I'll see what we have."

"Okay," she whispered as the front door opened.

"I'm home!" Hannah shouted.

Meredith sighed at the exclamation. Hannah wasn't talking to her either so now the house was just going to get even more awkward. Great. "Derek? Meredith?" Mrs. Shepherd called as she came towards the living room, Hannah already running ahead of her.

"Hey Mom," Derek sighed, attempting a smile. "Thanks for watching her."

"Daddy!" Hannah grinned widely, holding up tupperware. "Me and Nana made brownies!"

"That's great, Han," he nodded, his smiling becoming a little more successful.

"And I got all my homework done, Nana helped me."

"Good," Derek nodded.

"Hannah dear," Mrs. Shepherd spoke up, looking at Meredith, "isn't there someone you forgot to say hi to?"

"Oh," Hannah frowned, not looking at Meredith. "Hi Meredith."

"Hi, Hannah," Meredith murmured, wiping her hand quickly against her eyes as she felt tears build up.

"What's for supper, Daddy?" Hannah asked.

"I was just about to go look," Derek sighed, running his hand through his hair. "Want to come and help me?"

"Sure," Hannah grinned, grabbing for his hand. "Nana, are you staying?"

"If Daddy and Meredith invite me," Mrs. Shepherd nodded, frowning slightly.

"You can stay if you want," Derek shrugged.

"Meredith, dear, is it all right if I stay?" Mrs. Shepherd asked.

"Oh umm...sure," Meredith murmured. Maybe at least she would talk to her. Or Derek would try to pretend everything was okay.

"Okay then," Mrs. Shepherd smiled at Hannah. "Then I'll stay for supper."

"Cool," Hannah nodded. "Come on, Daddy."

"Okay," Derek nodded, leading Hannah out of the room.

"Well I guess we have some time to kill," Mrs. Shepherd sighed, smiling warmly at Meredith.

"Yeah," Meredith whispered, pulling the throw around her shoulders a little tighter.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong? Or are you going to act like my son and make me drag it out of you?"

"What?" Meredith's head snapped up. "What makes you...nothing's...we just..."

"Sweetheart, I raised four girls. I know when there is a problem," Mrs. Shepherd sighed.

"Oh," Meredith chewed on her lip. "We...we just had a fight. It's nothing. We're fine. Well we will be if ever looks at me. Or talks to me. Or looks at me but doesn't look like he's really pissed."

"I assume it had something to do with ballet last night?"

"Yes," Meredith sighed. "Are you angry with me too? Because I get it if you are."

"No, Meredith, it's not my place to be mad at you," Mrs. Shepherd sighed. "I understand why my son and Hannah are, but I have no reason to be."

"Oh," she breathed, wrapping the throw even tighter. "I just...it was this surgery. This amazing surgery and it was something...you don't turn it down. When the head of cardio offers you this surgery you don't...and I didn't mean to hurt anyone. I just thought...I don't know what I thought. I was tired and Dr. Hahn was offering me a huge surgery and I just...I screwed it up."

"Everyone screws up sometimes," Mrs. Shepherd shrugged. "Derek will get over it, don't worry."

"I don't know," she sighed. "I really don't because...and then he compared me to my mother. My mother. Like he has any idea...he has no idea what it was like with my mom. And he doesn't...she did the best she could. She wasn't always around but she...he doesn't get it. He's this perfect parent. He's figured it out and my mom tried...but she...she did the best he could."

"Meredith...it will be a while before supper is ready. Derek won't let me in there and from what I understand you're the last person who should be in there. How about we take a walk?"

"A...okay," Meredith nodded slowly, standing up from the couch and slipping on her shoes and jacket.

"Derek, dear, Meredith and I are going for a walk, we won't be long," Mrs. Shepherd called toward the kitchen.

"He probably doesn't care," Meredith sighed at the sound of Hannah's giggle.

"Meredith, he cares. He's angry and hurting but the man is clearly in love with you. Don't be so dramatic," Mrs. Shepherd sighed, opening the door and leading Meredith out.

"Sorry," Meredith murmured, suddenly feeling entirely like a little kid in trouble.

"Derek hasn't told you about a lot of his past, has he?" Mrs. Shepherd asked.

"You mean about Hannah's mom?" Meredith frowned.

"About after Hannah's mom."

"Oh um..." Meredith bit her lip. "With Mark moving in and all that?"

"Yes," Mrs. Shepherd nodded. "That and a few other things. Don't make the mistake of thinking that Derek was born a natural father."

"Mrs. Shepherd, if this is about what he said, I..."

"Meredith, it's about the fact that you have made some mistakes since you stepped into a mother like role and you've had a hard time of things. And more importantly it's about the fact that Derek has made mistakes and certainly didn't have an easy time becoming a father."

"Derek's a great dad. He...I mean, he's perfect."

"He's far from perfect, Meredith."

"But he loves Hannah. And he acts like, I mean..."

"Of course he loves Hannah. And he's doing a fine job at raising her. But he has made mistakes. And he went through some of what you're going through."

"He did?"

"Meredith, Derek always wanted children. He was one of those rare teenage guys who weren't afraid to admit that one day they wanted to be a father. He wanted to be a father and a surgeon and he could never find the right woman. And suddenly the wrong woman got pregnant with his child."

"Which he was ecstatic about," Meredith nodded. "I know, he told me."

"He was ecstatic," Mrs. Shepherd grinned. "Until he had a crying baby at home and had no idea what he was supposed to do."

"Derek had no idea what to do with Hannah?"

"Of course not," Mrs. Shepherd shook her head. "The idea of a baby is one thing...and actual crying baby is a completely different thing."

"Mrs. Shepherd," Meredith sighed, "I don't...I mean, I don't see what this has to do with anything."

"Meredith, am I mistaken or did you make a tiny parenting mistake last night?"

"I’m not...I mean...I'm not Hannah's mom but...if you listen to Derek, I made a huge mistake."

"You're the closest thing to a mom that child has ever had and will ever have. And you did make a mistake...this is me telling you that Derek isn't innocent of mistakes."

"Okay," Meredith sighed.

"Meredith, a few days after Hannah was born I came to check on Derek and Hannah."

"Okay," Meredith repeated.

"I found my son curled in the corner, wearing pajamas he hadn't changed in days, the perfect waves entirely disheveled and entirely in tears about the fact his tiny baby girl wouldn't stop crying."

"Oh," Meredith breathed, a sharp pain shooting through her chest at the thought of Derek crying in a corner.

"He wasn't born a father," Mrs. Shepherd sighed. "In that first year I don't know how many times I worried my son was going to have a nervous break down."

"But he's...he's so good with her. He's amazing and perfect."

"He's an excellent father," Mrs. Shepherd nodded. "But no one is handed a child, at any age, and knows immediately what to do with it."

"But he learned. He learned and now...I mean, he's a great father. And he has no idea what...he doesn't know what my mom. She made bad choices but not everyone can make the best choices and be this great amazing parent."

"Do you fully believe that he's the perfect father?"

"I...I don't know," Meredith sighed. "He seems...he seems like he is."

"He's a good father, Meredith. You don't have to tell him that I think he's a crap dad, he's not. I'm proud of how well he's done. But no parent is perfect, Derek has made his mistakes."

"He was overwhelmed," Meredith sighed. "That's...it's normal. I guess. But that doesn't mean he's made mistakes."

"Derek's told me about your past so I know you don't know too much about parents, but I can promise you that there's not one that hasn't made a mistake."

"Apparently he hasn't made mistakes like I did last night," Meredith mumbled.

"No, Meredith, the man has never chosen anything before Hannah. That's actually one of his biggest mistakes."

"It is?"

"It is," Mrs. Shepherd nodded. "Hannah has to come first, there's no question about that. But Derek has put her...only. He's put her basically only."

"But isn't that...I mean, he's a parent. He has to do that."
"No he doesn't," Mrs. Shepherd shook her head. "He had to make sacrifices but the man gave up on living for his daughter."

"Living?" Meredith sighed. "He...he lived. He's lived."

"Meredith, for the last six years he refused to get serious with anyone because of her."

"But that makes sense, Mrs. Shepherd. He didn't want to date. He had Hannah."

"No, it doesn't make sense, Meredith. It makes sense that he would take time before getting serious, that he would not jump into anything big that large right away. That is obviously a good decision. But before he met you I could count the times he had me babysit so he could go on a date. Or go out period."

"He said he went on dates. And...it's good. It's good that he gives Hannah attention. That's good. My dad didn't and...well, my dad left so I'm pretty sure any dad is better than my dad but he...Derek was doing what was best for Hannah."

"Meredith, you don't know this yet and it took me time to learn it myself, but making your child your entire life is not the best for your child."

"So that's Derek's biggest mistake? Being overwhelmed and...and making Hannah his world?"

"That's his biggest ones, yes. But he's made plenty of small ones along the way."

"Okay," Meredith sighed. "Then...okay."

"This hasn't been easy on him, even getting involved with you hasn't been easy on him. You have to remember that."

"He wanted it, Mrs. Shepherd. He didn't tell...he wanted it. He chased me and he wanted it. Even when I didn't want it, even when I knew I wasn't ready for it, he wanted it."

"Oh I know that. I see the way he looks at you, there's no question you're everything he wants. But he had been used to nothing but Hannah. You're the first one that he ever took that chance with. He hasn't said it, but I know choosing to chase you was not easy."

"He makes it seem easy," Meredith sighed. "He makes everything seem easy. He makes...he makes raising Hannah look easy. He makes all of this seem easy."

"Derek is good at making everything seem easy. But it's not."

"So now you want me to go in there and apologize," Meredith sighed. "You want me to say sorry and forgive him and...because he's made mistakes."

"Of course not," Mrs. Shepherd shook her head. "He's not ready to hear it and you're not ready to say it. And he's certainly not ready to apologize for being a man."

"He compared me to my mother," Meredith whispered.

"Oh," Mrs. Shepherd nodded. "From what I understand she made her fair number of mistakes."

"She was never around. Ever. She made sacrifices. And she did the best she could. Even if Derek was overwhelmed, he doesn't...he doesn't get it."

"No he doesn't. Because to him the job will never come first. It's always going to be Hannah and you."

"I know," she sighed. "I know. It's just...I wasn't trying...it was a once in a lifetime thing and I wasn't even...I don't know."

"And you didn't think everything through. Meredith...if it had just been Derek, I'm sure he would have understood. He would have even been proud. But you let Hannah down, Hannah who is starting to consider you family. That's a big no no in Derek's eyes."

"So I fuc---screwed up majorly?”

"No, you didn't. You made a mistake. It happens. Derek will pout for a bit longer and come around. He always does."

"I hope so," Meredith whispered.

"Where did you sleep last night?"

"What?" Meredith frowned. "I...in our bed."

"And where did he sleep?"

"In our bed," Meredith nodded.

"Were you on your backs not touching?"

"No," Meredith sighed, shifting slightly.

"How did you sleep, Meredith? Did he say goodnight?"

"We um...we didn't cuddle or...but he had his arm around me and...yeah, we said I love you. Not good night. Just...just I love you."

"You'll be fine," Mrs. Shepherd smiled.

"He's barely talking to me, Mrs. Shepherd."

"And yet he held you and told you he loved you," Mrs. Shepherd sighed. "Those are the important things, Meredith. Finding the strength to do that after a fight is the important part."

"Oh."

"Just take a bit to cool off, maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow...get your heads level again and talk it out."

"Okay," Meredith nodded as they turned back towards the house. "Mrs. Shepherd?"

"Yes?"

"Derek...he...I mean, he figured it out right? The parenting and the...he was okay after the first year?"

"He got better. Having Mark there helped and he stopped worrying me. But he's still had his bumps."

"Okay," Meredith sighed. "Because I...I mean, she's seven and I've been doing this for a year. Well, kind of doing it not really and I'm just as...I want to cry in a corner."

"Well then, cry in a corner. Derek will understand."

"Nana!" Hannah exclaimed, running out of the house. "Supper's ready!"

"Oh well that's excellent news," Mrs. Shepherd grinned.

"Daddy made hot dogs and corn," Hannah grinned widely. "And he says we can have brownies for dessert if we're really, really, really good."

"Very yummy," Mrs. Shepherd smiled.

"C'mon!" Hannah grabbed her hand, dragging her towards the house.

"Hannah, how about you grab Meredith's hand too?" Mrs. Shepherd asked.

"Why?" Hannah frowned.

"Because she's your friend and it's not nice to leave her out."

"She's not my friend no more."

"Hannah Rose Shepherd, I don't know what your father puts up with, but I am not putting up with that," Mrs. Shepherd shook her head as she stopped walking and held Hannah in place. "Meredith made a mistake yesterday and she hurt your feelings. It's okay to be mad at her. But I know you love her very much so it's not okay to be rude to her."

"But she was rude first."

"Did she apologize?"

"Yes," Hannah pouted.

"And is there a reason you haven't forgiven her?"

"Cause she's the meanest Meredith in the whole world."

"Hannah, you're as dramatic as your father was when he was your age," Mrs. Shepherd groaned. "She made a mistake. She feels bad. And if you don't forgive her I'm pretty sure she can call you the meanest Hannah in the whole world."

"Nuh uh."

"Oh she can. You think she's the meanest because she was rude to you. And now you're being rude to her."

"She was rude first," Hannah insisted. "And she missed ballet. And she was mean."

"And she's very very sorry," Mrs. Shepherd murmured.

"Mrs. Shepherd, it's fine," Meredith whispered. "It's...it's fine."

"No, it's not," Mrs. Shepherd shook her head. "Hannah, you don't have to forgive Meredith right now. That's something for you two to figure out. But I do insist you apologize for being rude and treat her better."

"I don't want to."

"Well then I guess you don't want brownies for desert."

"Yes I do," Hannah frowned. "Daddy said if I was really, really, really good I can have brownies."

"He did say that. Do you think he consider being mean to Meredith being really really good?"

"He's not talking to Meredith neither."

"But is he being mean to her?"

"I don't know."

"I don't think he is," Mrs. Shepherd shook her head.

"Fine," Hannah said firmly. "I'm sorry for being rude, Meredith."

"Thank you, Hannah," Meredith nodded. "Apology accepted."

"But you're still not my friend no more," Hannah said, turning on her heel and stomping into the house.

"Don't take it personally," Mrs. Shepherd sighed.

"I...why not? She hates me. She clearly and completely hates me."

"She doesn't hate you. She's hurting and is the second most dramatic child in the history of the world."

"Who's the first?"

"That would be your boyfriend. I lost track of how many times he told me I wasn't his mommy anymore. I think he still fights the urge to do it now."

"Really?" Meredith giggled slightly.

"Really," Mrs. Shepherd rolled her eyes. "When Derek was a child it was either hate or love, there was no in between."

"That's how Hannah is."


"I know," Mrs. Shepherd nodded. "When she says it just ignore it or completely agree. She'll get over it quickly enough."

"Okay," Meredith sighed as Derek came into view, wiping his hands on a dish towel.

"Give him some time, Meredith," Mrs. Shepherd murmured.

"I know," Meredith sighed, biting her lip.

"Fights happen."

"Fights happen," Meredith murmured under her breath.

"My son is crazy about you," Mrs. Shepherd smiled. "You two will be fine."

"Supper's ready," Derek sighed.

"So Hannah has told us," Mrs. Shepherd smiled as she walked into the house.

"Hot dogs and corn," Derek nodded. "Just something quick."

"That's fine, dear," Mrs. Shepherd nodded.

"Sounds good," Meredith whispered, rocking back and forth on her heels.

"Yeah," Derek murmured, looking at Meredith closely. "Have a nice walk?"

"It was very pleasant," Mrs. Shepherd nodded. "I'll go make sure my granddaughter isn't feeding her hotdog to Eskimo." She moved towards the kitchen, leaving Meredith and Derek alone.

"So...." Derek breathed.

"Derek," she said quickly and then paused.

"Mer..."

"I..." she bit her lip. She had made a mistake. She had made a mistake and mistakes were normal. They were normal. Derek made mistakes. Derek had crawled into corners and nearly had a nervous breakdown. She had made a mistake and she had apologized and he...it had been a mistake.

"Yeah?" he asked quietly, tilting his head to the side slightly, some of the anger draining from his eyes.

"I...nothing," she sighed, shaking her head. "Food. We have to...even though...nothing."

"Oh," he nodded slowly. "Okay."

"Okay," she murmured.

"Mer...you..." he sighed and suddenly ducked forward, kissing her lips quickly and gently before pulling back again.

"Oh," she sighed, looking up at him, tears building in her eyes. "Oh."

"Food," he whispered, wiping
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oncetherewasaway Dec 27 2007, 01:42 PM Post #8
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 Disclaimer: If we owned the show we'd be on strike. Well strike really soonish. And that means we wouldn't be writing. Thank god we don't own the show.

Derek had to fight the urge to grab the hand hanging beside his. This was wrong. This was entirely wrong and he hated it. This was their first fight, it was their first really big fight and he could already say with quite a bit of certainty that he hated fighting with her. He wanted to grab her hand and be normal again. He liked nomral. Actually when it came to Meredith he loved normal.

But there wasn't anything normal about this. They hadn't said more than a few words to each other since the fight and she had cried herself to sleep for the past two nights. He hated it. He hated that she was crying. He hated that he could barely say anything to her. And he hated that he was working with her today and she was entirely silent next to him, not saying more than she had to.

They had to fix this. They couldn't just keep living in this wierd situation that was somewhere between a fight and making up and included them saying each other's names a lot but not much else than that. He didn't want to apologize. He knew he was wrong. He knew bringing up her mother had been stupid. But he had been mad and he had a reason to be mad.

She had put a surgery before Hannah. She had put a surgery that wasn't necessary before his daughter, and she hadn't even seemed all that worried about it. It entirely blew his mind. He had a damn good reason to be mad. And he didn't want to apologize when he had a damn good reason to be mad. Except, he had a feeling she was thinking the same kind of thoughts.

And eventually someone had to give in because if not this would all fall apart. And he was mad but he didn't want that. He couldn't even thinking about it falling apart without a very tight knot tying somewhere in his lower stomach, leading to a very nauseous feeling. So eventually someone had to say sorry and they had to talk about all of this. This had to be fixed soonish.

He just wasn't entirely sure how fix it right now. He snuck a glance at her, taking in her red puffy eyes, the frown on her face. She looked exhausted, she looked almost as bad as he felt and his chest tightened. He hated seeing her sad, he hated that she was hurting. But he had no idea how to fix this right now. He was still too damn mad to really think of a solution.

"I'm going to need you to run tests on the patient in 4573 later," he sighed. Work, he could at least talk to her about work.

"Okay," she murmured, writing the room number down on a pad of paper as she nodded.

"And check on Mr. Wilkins to see how he's feeling after his surgery yesterday."

"He spiked a fever last night, but we were able to bring it down," Meredith sighed.

"Good," Derek nodded.

"Good," she echoed quietly. "Anything else, Dr. Shepherd?"

"That's good for now, Dr. Grey," he nodded, hating the titles. They usually used them at work but today they hurt just a little. He sighed as he watched the chief walk up. "Dr. Webber," he greeted.

"Dr. Shepherd," the Chief nodded, "Dr. Grey."

"Chief," Meredith nodded.

"Have you seen the board, Shep?" Webber sighed.

"No," Derek smiled lightly. "Why?"

"It's a mess," Webber groaned. "This hospital is going to hell."

"Wish I could help you, Chief," Derek laughed harshly as he shook his head.

"Of course, I can only imagine it will get worse once I retire," Webber eyed Derek. "With the idiots who want the job, I can't imagine it staying afloat."

"Yeah, so I hear," Derek nodded.

"Of course, if the best candidate would step forward and accept the job, I could retire in peace."

"Yeah, I know," Derek rolled his eyes. "And now I have to go. See you later, Dr. Webber...Dr...Meredith."

"Dr. Shep---Derek," Meredith whispered, watching as Derek walked away.

"Why won't he just take the job already?" Webber asked her.

"What?" she frowned, turning to look at him.

"I've been offering it to him for ages," Webber shrugged. "He's the best man in the hospital for it, no question. And yet everytime I ask, hint or beg he turns me down flat. I don't think he's even given it serious consideration."

"You...you offered Derek Chief?" Meredith stammered. "Derek. You offered Derek Chief of Surgery?"

"Of course," Chief nodded. "Could you think of someone better for the job?"

"I...no," Meredith shook her head. "No. I just...he's never said anything and...he said no?"

"He did," Chief sighed. "Hannah."

"Hannah?" Meredith sighed.

"The man has turned down so many amazing opportunities for that little girl and chief is just going to be another one."

"What do you mean?" she frowned. "He's...what do you mean he's turned down opportunities? He's one of the best."

"He is. But he could be a legend. There's a difference between legend and one of the best. He had the ability to be like your mother, Meredith. And before Hannah he had the drive too."

"Wait...but he's...he's published. He's one of the best. People know him. I studied him in school. Which is...I don't understand."

"He's an amazing surgeon, Meredith. He was born with an amazing natural skill and the brain to match. He publishes only enough to keep going...he does only enough to have his career established. The greatness comes by accident."

"I really hope you don't tell him that," Meredith giggled slightly.

"He already knows it. If he hadn't had Hannah, he'd be...one of the greats, no question."

"But he's...how did Hannah change that?" she asked. "He does surgeries no one does. He's...he's Derek Shepherd."

"He is," Webber nodded. "And he turned down some opportunities at other hospitals because Hannah's family is here. He won't go on conferences if they last too long or if they fall on the wrong days. He makes his schedule based on hers, and will pass up surgeries if they don't fit."

"Derek...Derek had offers at other hospitals?" Meredith shook her head slowly. "I mean, it makes sense. He's Derek Shepherd. Which is basically...he's passed up surgeries?"

"He passed up surgeries," Webber nodded. "He's passed up a lot. His career is a shadow of what it could have been."

"But he's..." Meredith bit her lip. "I always thought...I mean, he's one of the best. I thought he had given it his best. I thought he was one of the best because he tried to be."

"He's worked hard, don't get me wrong," Webber said quickly. "It's not some fluke and the man deserves the praise he gets. He's just made a lot more sacrifices than the average surgeon."

"So he...let's say a surgery came up when he was suposed to be leaving," Meredith sighed. "Would he stay?"

"Unless it was an emergency and no one else could do it...no, he'd go home."

"Even when he was a resident?"

"The second Hannah was born."

"Oh," she breathed. "Does he...I mean, do you think he knows? Do you think he knows he could have been...do you think he knows?"

"You've been in a relationship with him for a year...do you think he knows how good he is?"

"Well...yeah," she giggled. "He knows that, but does he know he could have been really great? Does he know he could have been...like my mom?"

"I honestly don't know. He doesn't care."

"But he did once?"

"He did once," Webber nodded. "When I first met him...he planned on being just like your mom."

"And then Hannah..."

"And then Hannah came along and all of his priorities flipped," Webber sighed. "I was hoping with you in the picture he'd be willing to sink more into his career again but I guess I was wrong."

"Yeah," she sighed, "I guess...he's still turning down Chief?"

"He won't even talk about it."

"Oh," she bit her lip. "I should...patients."

"Of course," Webber nodded.

"Bye, Dr. Webber," she nodded, walking away from him. She hadn't...she had always assumed Derek was the best. He was. He was the best. He was one of the best neurosurgeons in the country. He was published, she studied him in med school. But she had always assumed that was his best. She had always thought he had found a way to balance having the perfect career with having a kid.

He didn't talk about sacrifices, he didn't talk about those big life changing things he had obviously done. He acted like his life was exactly the way he had planned it and that he was the best at everything. She figured in his head he was the best at everything. Except for he wasn't. He wasn't the best at his job. He was...for his level of skill he was apparently a no one. He was a blip when he could have been her mom.

Which meant things. It meant big huge things. Because he wasn't trying his best, he wasn't working at his highest level. He wasn't even giving the job his all. He was one of the best neurosurgeons in the country and he wasn't giving the job his all. She wasn't even sure how he lived with himself just giving the bare minimum. He was the best, he liked being the best, but he wasn't trying to be the best.

Except for at home. He tried to be the best dad. He let everything else in his life slip away so he could be there for Hannah, so Hannah never felt like she was alone or that she wasn't wanted or any of the feelings that had been all to familiar to Meredith when she had been growing up. He had given up being the best at everything else because of Hannah.

Hannah had completely and totally changed his life. He hadn't been planning on her, he hadn't even expected her. But apparently, the second she was born, his life changed. He stopped caring about being a legend and started caring about his daughter. He almost had nervous break downs, but it was all about Hannah. She wasn't even sure how a surgeon did that, give up the glory of the job for a kid.

And now she had to talk to him, she had to apologize. It made sense why he had been mad, why he had yelled at her. He didn't get it. His mom had mentioned it and she probably knew him well enough to assume but he didn't get it. He didn't get how anyone would chose a really cool surgery instead of a night watching Hannah practice ballet. Derek didn't get it at all.



Disclaimer: Communication. It's beautiful. It's amazing. And we think that maybe just maybe Meredith and Derek are headed toward it on the show. Maybe. If we owned the show they would definitely be.

Meredith Grey had a speech. A huge big speech in her head. There was a speech and it was big and she had been planning it all day. All day while she had worked with him, she had been planning a big huge speech. It was a great speech, it was an amazing speech. And she had even practiced it in the car on the way home. Except now that she was home, she couldn't actually remember the amazing speech.

It would come to her, it had to come to her. She'd find him and she'd look at him and all of the words she had planned would come spilling out. It would be fine. And then he'd give her that look, that amazing look and they could go back to being them instead of this weird pseudo couple who apparently had forgotten how to talk. She just had to remember how the amazing speech went.

She knew there was an apology in there. She knew that. She knew she was going to find him and say sorry. But beyond that...she couldn't remember it. She really and completely couldn't remember the amazing speech because she had no idea if an amazing speech would even work at this point. Mrs. Shepherd said they'd be fine, but Derek still was barely talking to her. So an amazing speech might be too late.

The house was quiet, the house was strangely quiet and she felt her heart beat a little faster. His car was here, he had to be somewhere. He just didn't pick up with Hannah and leave his dream home and his dream land because of a fight. He was just...being quiet. And somehow so was Hannah. Which was fine, quiet was good. She could live with quiet. She just had to find him.

She sighed as she slipped on one of his big sweaters and then went and stood on the balcony overlooking the water, trying to remember the speech. Because the speech was kind of a big deal. The speech could fix all of this. Well, it could fix all of this if she ever found him. And then she saw him, sitting on the edge of the dock, a beer in his hands.

He was thinking, he always went there to think. And she figured she should probably get down there and apologize to him before he had too much time to think. Big things happened when he took time to really think and it wasn't always good. She should probably go join him and say she was sorry. And the speech. Whatever it had been, he'd like the speech.

She ran downstairs and out the back door, slowing to a gentle walk as she came up behind him. The words of the speech were all kind of jumbled up in her head and she had a feeling she was screwed when it came to the speech. Really really screwed because she definitely couldn't remember it. She sat down next to him, feeling him look over at her and then look back out at the water. He looked like him. Like a really moody, filled with thought him. "I’m sorry," she blurted out.

"You're sorry?" he asked quietly.

"I'm sorry," she nodded. "But you can't talk. You can't talk yet. I mean, you can if you want. I'm not telling you not to talk...it's just, I think I remember the speech and if you talk and say things, they might be really, really bad things and I won't be able to remember the speech so you just...you can't talk. Right now. After I'm done, you can talk. And you can say things if you want."

"You have a speech?" he asked, a small smile tugging at his lips.

"I have a speech. Or I had a speech. I kind of still have a speech. It's a mess and my head is...but you can't talk. No talking. Okay?"

"Okay," he nodded slowly.

"Okay," she took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. Which I already said. Twice. But I am sorry. I'm really, really sorry that I did what I did. It was wrong and I wasn't thinking because I was tired and I was being...I was being a resident. I was being a resident instead of a parenty like person and maybe that was a mistake. It was probably a mistake. Or definitely a mistake."

"Okay," he nodded.

"But I wasn't...you don't get to compare me to my mom just because I made a mistake. I know you don't get it. I know you made sacrifices and choices and they worked for you. I know that. They worked for you which is really, really great. But, Derek, my mom...if I were my mom, I wouldn't be here. Ever. I wouldn't do hair or girl's nights or stick around for a seven year old's birthday party. So you don't get to compare me to my mom."

"I know," he sighed. "I was mad and...I didn't mean it. I'm sorry."

"Because I'm new to this. I'm really, really new to this. I don't know how to be a parenty like person. I don't know how to do that and I don't...I don't know how to give up things like you did. And if that makes me a bad person, fine. But I'm learning. I'm learning which is kind of a big deal because a year ago I didn't want to learn. But now I'm learning. And I'm going to make mistakes."

"I know you are," he nodded, smiling slightly.

"So I know. You have a right to be mad at me. I know that. I fucked up and it was big and stupid and I...but it was a surgery. And I know you don't get that because you're great without even really trying. But I'm not. I have to work. I have things to prove and I know that's not an excuse. I know my shifts are to figure out things and decide what I want to do. But you can't hate me."

"Mer...I was mad. I could never hate you."

"But my point is...I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry and I'll try not to do it again. I really will. I'll try not to miss things because I know it sucks. I know it sucks when someone doesn't show up to things. I know that. So I'll try not to do it again. But you can't hate me or break up with me or...or whatever it is you're thinking about doing because I made a mistake. Because I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry."

"You think I was thinking of breaking up with you?" he frowned.

"Worst case scenario," she bit her lip.

"I was sitting out here trying to figure how to suck it up and apologize first as the fighting with you thing sucks."

"Oh." The word came out as a half-giggle, half-sob. "Oh. Okay."

"I'm sorry I brought up your mom," he sighed. "You're right that I wasn't there and I have no idea what it was like. And you're not her, I know that. I was...angry but that's not an excuse. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," she whispered.

"No, it's not. It was a low blow. I'm sorry."

"It was a low blow," she nodded. "I know you don't get it. I know you did things but she really did...she didn't know how to do this. And she was alone. And she...she did the best she could. And maybe the best wasn't good enough but it was...it was the best she could. And I'm doing the best I can."

"I know you are," he nodded. "And we're not talking about what Ellis could or could not have done, that will just lead to more fighting. I blame my over protective Meredith streak."

"Okay," she nodded, smiling slightly. “Okay.”

"I hate what she did to you, Mer," he murmured.

“I know you do.”

"When I had Hannah...I knew I could have gone that route. People kept telling me to. I could have hired a nanny and poured myself into my job. I knew that was an option. But Hannah was mine...that's all that mattered."

“I know,” she whispered, reaching for his beer and taking a sip.

"I promised myself Hannah would never come second in my life. And she can't come second in yours, Mer."

“She doesn’t, Derek,” she said quickly. “I...she doesn’t. I know it seems like she does because I scrubbed in on an amazing surgery instead of going to a ballet practice but...I mean, I...she doesn’t.”

"I know that," he nodded quickly. "You're amazing with her and...I know you hate the word but you're a great mom."

“I’m trying to be,” she murmured.

"I know you are. And you're doing...an amazing job. I expected this to be harder on you."

“It’s not easy, Derek. There are days...I mean, sometimes I want to curl up in a ball and cry. It’s not easy. And it’s not fair for you to think I can give up everything you gave up in just a year. Especially when...I mean, if things went bed and...you can’t think it’s easy.”

"It's not," he nodded. "If you need to curl up in a ball and cry sometimes...I get it. And I get mistakes...even though I got mad, I get that sometimes you're going to make mistakes. You're allowed to."

“Okay,” she nodded slowly.

"I overreacted," he sighed. "I had a right to be mad, Mer. But I should have...tried to listen to you."

“I should have called. Or just not accepted the surgery or...I don’t know.”

"Mer..." Derek sighed before clearing his throat. "I sacrificed a lot to become the kind of dad I am. I know that. And you...I can't expect you to do the same. My sacrifices were my choice...you have to make your own."

“But I should make the right ones.”

"You should...but the right ones are up to you, Mer," he shrugged. "Not me."

“Okay,” she sighed.

"I don't want you to give things up that you don't want to give up. That will just...you'd end up resenting Hannah and I."

“I wouldn’t...I don’t want to do that.”

"I know you don't," he sighed.

“But I also...I don’t want to be my mom. I don’t want to be emotionally stunted and alone and...I love surgery, Derek. I do. It’s amazing and...but I don’t want to be my mom.”

"Mer...I won't let you be your mom. If you want to stay late for an amazing surgery...I'll get it. If you want to stay late for an appy...you'll be out on your ass."

“Good to know,” she smiled slightly.

"And no missed birthdays. And you have to take Christmas off."

“I took this year off,” she nodded. “And I know. No missed birthdays. Or Halloweens. Or...I know.”

"And call. If some amazing once in a lifetime surgery comes up and you have to stay late...call."

“I know,” she murmured. “That...that was stupid.”

"I thought you were dead."

“I’m sorry.”

"I know you are," he nodded. "Just...think about us. I know you're used to being alone but you're not anymore. Any decision you make...we need to be part of it."

“Okay,” she nodded. “Call. I can call. And I can...okay.”

"It's not easy, is it?" he asked, as he shifted to wrap an arm around her.

“What?” she sighed, leaning her head against his shoulder.

"Being a parent isn't easy."

“No,” she shook her head. “It’s not.”

"It comes," he whispered. "You'll get better at it. It comes to you."

“It came to you,” she murmured.

"After nights crying in a corner and yelling at a baby to stop crying, yes, it came to me."

“Your mom told me,” she whispered, squeezing his knee. “She said she thought you were going to have a nervous break down.”

"I think I nearly did," he nodded. "There were nights...once I'd finally get Hannah to bed, I'd just go lay in my mom's bed with her and cry."

“Oh, Der,” she breathed.

"There's still nights I want to crawl into bed and cry."

“Really?”

"Really," he nodded.

“I just...I have no idea how to do this, Der. You...you get it. And you make it look easy and I just...I’m trying and you’re good at it and she hates me. I’m pretty sure she hates me. And you’re perfect with her.”

"Hannah definitely doesn't hate you," he shook his head. "And I'm far from perfect at it. If I make it look easy...you're seeing what you want to see. But...it's not like that."

“It’s not?”

"When you're raising a kid...everytime you say anything, do anything...it's immediately followed by a big booming voice asking if you fucked up the kid forever."

“You haven’t fucked her up, Derek.”

"No, I don't think I have. But there's always a voice of self doubt in your brain. It doesn't go away, Mer."

“But it doesn’t make you a bad dad,” she said quickly. “You’re...you stick by her and you...you’ve sacrificed things. You’re a good dad. You’re a great dad, even. Even if your mom says you’ve made mistakes you’re still a really, really good dad and I’m...I’m the person who chooses surgeries over a ballet practice.”

"Thanks," he nodded. "And once, you chose surgeries over ballet practice once. It doesn't qualify you for mother of the year but no one is voting you off the island quite yet."

“Voting me off the island?” she raised an eyebrow.

"Yes," he laughed softly. "We could do it if we wanted to."

“You’ve watched too much TV, Der,” she shook her head, smiling slightly.

"That's what happens when you sacrifice a social life," he shrugged.

“Yeah, I guess it is,” she sighed, leaning against him, squeezing his knee.

"I know this is new to you," he murmured, pressing a light kiss on the top of her head. "And I know you're not sure when to sacrifice, when to not. It's hard. I never knew. Well to you...I knew I couldn't sacrifice you."

“I...I don’t want to sacrifice you either,” she whispered. “But, Der, you...I talked to Webber today...”

"About what?" Derek frowned slightly.

“He’s offered you chief.”

"Oh," Derek nodded. "Yeah, he did. Sorry I didn't tell you."

“He’s offered it to you more than once, Derek.”

"He has. He's a stubborn ass."

“You could be chief,” she whispered. “You could be...Derek, he told me about the career and the...he said things. Really, really big things.”

"What things?"

“That...that you could be like my mom. Not just one of the best but the best and a legend and...and that you basically, not gave up but just stopped...stopped trying as hard.”

"I had to," Derek shrugged.

“You...Der, you could be big. You could be...you sacrificed your career.”

"I did," he nodded slowly. "Some things are just more important."

“But...you...you’re one of the best, Derek. You could be the best. You could be a legend and...isn’t that what all doctors want?”

"Usually. And it is what I want. I do want it. I love that I'm in text books, I love being invited to talk...I didn't give that dream up. I don't want to be mediocre or forgotten," he sighed. "But...I can't do it all."

“So you gave up everything?” she sighed.

"No, of course not," Derek shook his head. "I've just had to be pickier than most. I go to conferences...just not all of them, and none that are too long. I have to work harder at balancing things than most surgeons. I just have...more limited choices, not everything."

“And you passed on being chief.”

"I passed on being chief."

“Okay,” Meredith whispered.

"Chief is too hard to balance," he shrugged.

“I know.”

"Does it bug you that I turned it down?" Derek frowned slightly.

“No,” she shook her head. “Just...you could have been...you’re one of the best, Derek.”

"I am. And I like to think I'm a good dad, and a good uncle, a good son and brother. A good friend. And a good boyfriend. Those things are more important to me. I love my job...but it's not my life."

“You are.”

"I'm happy with my life, Mer. I don't feel like I gave anything up."

“That’s good,” Meredith murmured.

"What are you not saying?" he asked quietly as he nuzzled her hair.

“I...I don’t know,” she sighed. “You gave up things and you want me...what if I can’t?”

"Mer...you already have."

“No, I haven’t,” she shook her head. “I stayed late for a Humpty Dumpty. I...I don’t know if I can give up...I haven’t, Der.”

"You booked off Hannah's birthday. You booked off Christmas. You've left early when I couldn't. You've done so much."

“But you still...you want me to give up more.”

"No I don't," he shook his head quickly. "I just don't want you to hurt Hannah. If it has been another night...just a normal night at home I would have been pissed if you passed on that."

“It was...it was really amazing, Der,” she whispered.

"Good," he nodded. "You did rock it, right?"

“Of course I did,” she giggled.

"That's my girl," he laughed. "I am proud."

“You are?”

"Of course," he nodded. "That's a tough surgery...and Hahn asking you, she wouldn't ask just anyone."

“I know,” she smiled widely. “And it was completely...she’s probably trying to get me to go cardio.”

"It's not going to work, is it?"

“Of course not.”

"Good," he smiled. "I'm not asking you to be me, Mer."

“But you’d be happier if I was.”

"Meredith..no, of course not. I don't want you to be me. I don't want to be in love with myself. I want you to be you."

“You’re already in love with yourself,” she tried to joke.

"I had a feeling you were going to say that," he laughed softly. "But Mer...I want you to be you. I want you to make the sacrifices that work for you."

“Okay,” she sighed.

"Okay?"

“Okay,” she whispered. “I don’t...I don’t know what...I don’t know how yet.”

"You'll figure it out," he murmured. "You have a step up on me if it helps."

“How?”

"You have me," he grinned.

“Cheesy,” she rolled her eyes.

"True," he laughed, kissing her head again. "You can cry in my arms instead of in a corner.'

“Again, cheesy,” she sighed. “But...thank you.”

"Just doing to my job."

“I really am sorry, Derek,” she turned to him. “I won’t do it again.”

"You might but we'll fight it out," he shrugged. "I'm sorry too. I definitely won't do that again."

“Okay,” she smiled, leaning forward and kissing him. “I love you.”

"I love you too," he grinned against her lips.

“Hmm,” she sighed, resting her head against his shoulder.

"I hate fighting with you," he whispered.

“I hate fighting with you too.”

"Let's try not to do this again," he sighed.

“Definitely,” she nodded.

"And if we do...I'm not breaking up with you. There is no worst case scenario to think about."

“Good,” she sighed.

"So we're okay?" he asked quietly.

“We’re okay,” Meredith nodded.

"Good," he nodded. "Because Hannah is at a friend's."

“I was about to ask,” she smiled.

"She won't be home for a few hours," he grinned.

“You’re thinking make up sex,” she giggled.

"Maybe," he smirked.

“Make up sex is good,” she nodded, kissing him deeply.

"It's the best part of fighting," he whispered against her lips.

“It is,” she breathed, pushing his sweater up over his head.

"Here?"

“Here,” she nodded, his undershirt quickly following his sweater as she bit at the exposed skin of his shoulders.

"It's cold," he groaned softly as his hands traveled to pull the sweater she had pulled on over her head.

“Right now it is,” she giggled breathlessly against his skin, her fingers fumbling with the button of his pants.

"Hmmm..." he murmured as he pulled her other shirt over her head. She succeeded with the buttons and pushed her hand inside his pants, letting her fingers graze over his rapidly growing erection.

She pushed him onto his back, pulling his jeans over his hips, his boxers following. He gasped as the cold air hit him and she smiled as she shimmied down his body, lightly trailing her tongue over him. “Derek,” she murmured.

"Mer..." he gasped, unhooking her bra with shaky hands.

“Oh...” she gasped at the cold. His fingers tweaked over her erect nipples, rubbing them gently as she moaned, her back arching with pleasure.

"God," he groaned as she rubbed her jean covered legs over his erection.

“It’s been...we haven’t,” she murmured against his lips as his shaky hands moved to her jeans, pushing them down quickly. “Long time. Really...Derek.”

"Days...it's been...days," he groaned, rubbing his arms over her body.

“Lots of days,” she breathed as she centered herself over him, not allowing him to enter her as she kissed him hard.

"Mer...please..." he groaned loudly, his hips rocking hard up to her.

“Hmmm,” she smiled, her eyes darkening as she rubbed against him, her hands moving around to his ass. His hips rocked hard in her hands as she pushed him up into her, forcing him to thrust hard. “Fuck, Derek.”

"God," he gasped as she held him in place, clenching her muscles around him before releasing him as he pushed into her again, pushing to fill her deeply.

She moved her hips against his thrusts, taking him in fully as she moaned loudly. “Derek...Der...shit,” she gasped, moving faster against him as he thrust harder.

"Oh fuck," he murmured, rocking hard into her, pulling her tighter to him as hs body began to tremble.

“Derek...Derek,” she bit her lip, her own body starting to shake as her hips moved faster against him. “God...oh...”

“Derek...I’m...oh god,” she screamed as her body tightened, her hips stilling as he thrusted hard up into her, his hands tightening on her hips to stabilize her. “Oh god...oh...Derek...”

"Mer...Mer..." he gasped, pulling on her hair as he thrusted harder into her, gasping for breath as his body tightened.

He pulled her down to his lips and she kissed him hard, biting down on his lip as another orgasm washed over her. He grunted, pushing harder and faster into her, tasting blood on his lips and then emptied into her with one last painful thrust. “Derek,” she murmured, her body shaking.

"Oh..." he murmured, holding her tightly to him. 'Oh."

“Yeah,” she panted as she collapsed onto his chest, her arms wrapping tightly around him.

"I....make up sex...amazing," he gasped for breath.

“Def...yes,” she nodded against his chest, still trying to breathe.

"Wow," he breathed.

“Very...very wow.”

"That was..."

“Wow?”

"Wow works."

“Your lip is bleeding,” she murmured.

"That's what happens when someone bites it," he laughed breathlessly.

“Sorry,” she giggled, rubbing her thumb over his lips.

"Was basically worth it."

“It was,” she nodded, cuddling back onto his chest.

"We've never had sex on the dock before."

“Hmm...” she sighed, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. “We haven’t.”

"It's hot," he grinned.

“Definitely,” she giggled.

"And a little cold."

“A little,” she sighed, reaching for the sweater she had been wearing.

"Good idea," he nodded, shifting to grab for his pants. "We have to talk to Hannah when she gets here."

“About?”

"What do you think?"

“This,” Meredith nodded, pulling her jeans back on. “Right.”

"We can put it off if it's too much for tonight," Derek offered.

“Yeah,” Meredith sighed. “What’s one more night of her hating me?”

"She doesn't hate you," Derek sighed. "She just hasn't figured out that you can be mad at someone without hating them."

“There’s only love or hate, no in between,” Meredith giggled slightly.

"Exactly."

“Tomorrow,” she sighed. “We’ll talk to her tomorrow.” She reached for his hand, squeezing it tightly.

"Tomorrow works," he nodded. "As long as we're good."

“We’re good, Der,” she smiled.

"All that matters," he grinned, kissing her quickly.

“Definitely,” she nodded, leading him back towards the house, wrapping the sweater closer around her. “Der?”

"Yeah?"

“You and Hannah...” she bit her lip, her brow furrowed and then sighed. “You and Hannah are first.”

"We are?"

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I’m...you’re...you’re it for me. And Hannah...she’s...I’m...I’m her mom or whatever. And you guys...first.”

"Meredith Grey...did you just use the dreaded m word?"

“Maybe,” she smiled slightly. “I mean...that’s what I am, right? Her fake mommy or whatever?”

"That's what you are," he grinned.

“Then yeah...I’m her mom or...something.”

"And I'm it?"

“You’re it,” she nodded, squeezing his hand.

"Wow."

“Don’t get all cheesy on me,” she giggled.

"Oh I kind of think you're the cheesy one right now," he laughed.

“I’m...fine, you’re not it. You’re just...you and kind of annoying,” she rolled her eyes.

"One second...you say I'm it and then you call me annoying?"

“I was trying to pour my heart out and you called me cheesy,” she frowned. “Pouring my heart out. Telling you things. Really big things. Things I’ve never told anyone before and you...you called me cheesy. So yes, I just called you annoying. Because I told you things and you...you called me cheesy.”

"Mer...you told me amazing things. I love the things you said."

“You better.”

"Completely love it."

“Good,” she sighed, pulling her hand out of his. “Because this is it. I’m...I’m done.”

Derek moaned softly and grabbed for her, crashing his still sore lips hard against hers. "I'm done too."

Say you need me with you, here beside you,
anywhere you go, let me go too,
that's all I ask of you.


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oncetherewasaway Dec 27 2007, 01:43 PM Post #9
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McEditor

 Disclaimer: The writers are going on strike because they want to see the money from DVD and internet sales. We get that and respect it. We're all for a strike. We even contemplated striking ourselves. Of course that was just for more Paddy.

Derek whistled as he headed up the stairs. He had been feeling like whistling since the night before. The night had been completely perfect. He had been desperate to make up with her, desperate to fix the mess they had beenb becoming and then she had sat down beside him and blurted out her own apology. And after that everything had gone entirely perfectly.

Their night hadn’t been awkward at all. They had cuddled on the couch while watching some crappy movie, or at least pretending to watch it as they giggled with each other, kissing and touching. It had been incredible. Even when Hannah had come home entirely exhausted and immediately ready for bed, they’re night had just been amazing. And it had ended in two rounds of amazing sex.

He had wanted them to make up and get back to being them, but it was ever so much better than what he had expected. The cuddling, the giggling, the kissing, the sex. Most importantly the things she had said. He hadn't been pushing, he had been terrified to ask her for any more. And then she had been telling him that he was it, that she was done, that she was Hannah's mom. It had been amazing.

He hadn’t expected her to say any of those things. He thought it would take time, he thought she’d admit to those things months down the line, possibly years. But instead, she had said everything he had been waiting to hear after a fight. He wasn’t sure what had prompted it, he wasn’t even sure why she had felt she needed to say it. He was just incredibly happy she had said any of it.

And then they had woken up this morning and still been entirely giggly, even though it had been 5:30 in the morning and he didn't even need to be up. He had woken up anyway when Meredith had pulled out of his arms and he had just wanted to keep her there. So there had been giggling and kissing and he had actually gotten up and made her breakfast. He couldn't believe how good this felt.

Now she was at work and he had the day off. He missed her, which sounded incredibly ridiculous. He missed her already, he wanted her home so he could cuddle with her again. Of course, he had the rest of their lives to cuddle with her. They were done. They were it for each other. He had every day of the rest of their lives. Or at least they would. Soon.

Which meant he had a tiny little girl to wake up and try to get her to give an inch when it came to Meredith. He got that Hannah was mad, he got that Meredith had hurt her. Except Meredith had tried to apologize and Hannah wasn't will to talk to her. Something had to change. Because he had something much bigger to talk to his daughter about. "Hannah?" he asked quietly, as he opened her door.

“Hmmm?” Hannah groaned, burrowing further underneath her blankets. He couldn’t help but grin at the very Meredith-like behavior.

"Han...it's time to get up," Derek sighed.

“School time?” Hannah mumbled.

"Actually...not today," Derek smiled.

“No school?”

"Not today," Derek grinned. "I have the day off so I was thinking we could take a Daddy and Hannah day."

“Really?” Hannah popped out from underneath the blanket, suddenly wide awake.

"Really," he laughed.

“Are we gonna go fishing?”

"Well...we can," he nodded. "If that's what you want."

“And ice cream?”

"Whatever you want, Hannah Banana."

“Can we go ride ponies?”

"Well...we can go fishing or we can go to ride the ponies but we won't have time for both."

“Why not?” Hannah asked, scrambling out of bed.

"Days only have so many hours," he laughed. "And I have some stuff we need to do this afternoon."

“What kinda stuff?”

"How about you get up and I tell you about it after we get going?"

“Okay,” Hannah grinned widely, hugging him tightly.

"Someone's happy," he sighed.

“We haven’t had a Daddy and Hannah day in ages,” she stressed.

"I know we haven't," he nodded. "Sorry."

“In ages and ages and ages.”

"I know. But we have one today."

“And I don’t have to go to school?” she asked, looking up at him.

"No school today," he shook his head. "But this isn't a normal thing, it's a special treat because we have some big things to do."

“Okay,” she grinned, pulling away and running to her dresser to grab clothes.

"I'll be downstairs when you're ready," he smiled.

“Okay, Daddy,” she nodded excitedly.

"Be quick," Derek laughed softly as he left the room.

“Really, really quick!” he heard her call as he made his way downstairs, chuckling to himself.

He was hoping that her mood stayed that way. Today was going to be big. It was actually going to be entirely huge and he wasn't sure how she was going to deal with it. Hannah still hadn't forgiven Meredith for missing the ballet practice so he was already a few steps behind where he should be. But Hannah loved Meredith. Hannah adored her and he just needed her to remember that.

He would talk to her first. He had planned on Meredith being here for this talk, but it would be easier for her if it was just him and Hannah. Things were going perfectly right now, and he knew this talk with Hannah wasn’t going to be the easiest. And Mer would come home tonight entirely exhausted, so the talk being done would be the easiest for everyone right now.

And before Meredith got home, before the last part of their day was an entirely different talk. One that was a lot bigger than he wanted to think of. He hadn't thought they'd be here quite yet, he had been trying to put it off. But since last night and everything that had happened he had felt the urge to do this. It was time. It was right and it was the next logical step.

“Ready!” Hannah exclaimed as she ran down the stairs in jeans and a pink sweater.

"That was fast," Derek grinned.

“I’m really ‘cited,” she grinned widely. “Daddy?”

"Yep, Han?"

“Can we go get pancakes?”

"Pancakes sound like a good idea," he nodded.

“But at a restaurant, Daddy,” she nodded. “Not here.”

"We can do that," Derek nodded. "The place near the hospital?"

“Yeah!” Hannah exclaimed. “That’s my favorite! They have the bestest pancakes!”

"I thought I made the bestest pancakes," Derek frowned.

“You make the second bestest.”

"Well then," he rolled his eyes. "All ready to go?"

“Yep,” she nodded, biting her lip as she finished tying her shoes. “Got it, Daddy.”

"Good job," Derek grinned.

“So we’re gonna get pancakes and sausage, right?” she asked as he helped her with her coat.

"We can," he nodded. "And orange juice."

“And orange juice,” she nodded seriously.

"Good," he nodded. "Come on."

“Okay,” she grinned, running out to the car and climbing in as he followed closely behind her, shaking his head in amusement. He wasn’t entirely sure how she managed to have that much energy this early in the morning, but he figured it would be helpful for later. If she kept up the energy. If she stayed in the good mood. If she didn’t, he wasn’t sure how he would handle this.

Part of him, a very tiny part, wanted to skip the second part of this talk. He didn't need her permission, he didn't need her to tell him it was okay to do what he was planning. He was the parent and whatever she said didn't have to have any affect on what he was about to do. But she was his daughter. For so long it had been just the two of them and things were changing again. He needed to talk to her.

She needed to feel like she had some sort of control over this. She needed to be involved in every step of what was going to happen next. The temper tantrums were just starting to slow down, and he didn’t think he could bear it if they picked back up again. And he was one hundred percent sure Meredith would freak out. So he needed to talk to her. He needed to included her in this.

She had to be okay about this before he took any further steps. She would be. His daughter adored Meredith. She was mad right now and maybe a little confused about what had been happened the other night but Hannah loved Meredith. Hannah adored Meredith being around and she was even starting to adapt to Meredith being more than just a friend. It would be fine.

“Daddy, I’m not in trouble, right?” Hannah sighed from the back.

"Why do you think you're in trouble?"

“Cause you’re real quiet and I don’t have to go to school and we haven’t had a Daddy and Hannah day in ages and ages.”

"No, Hannah, you're not in trouble," he shook his head. "There is something I need to talk to you about but it's good things we'll talk about over pancakes. But definitely not in trouble."

“Okay,” she sighed. “Cause I’ve been really, really good.”

"You have been," Derek nodded.

“Super good,” she nodded from the backseat. “I didn’t sneaked out of daycare or nothing.”

"Hannah, did you sneak out of daycare?"

“Nope.”

"Are you sure?"

“Maybe.”

"Hannah..."

“Okay,” she sighed dramatically. “But it was a real good reason. I had to go see Uncle Monkey. I had to. Cause he didn’t have a snack or nothing.”

"Uncle Monkey didn't have a snack?"

“Nope.”

"And you need to go see him because...."

“To give him a snack.”

"Okay," Derek nodded slowly. "Well...you followed all the rules, right?"

“Yep,” Hannah nodded. “No going to the busy ER place, no going to see surgeries, no going in sick people’s rooms.”

"Good," he nodded. "Than you're not in trouble."

“Good,” she grinned. “And it wasn’t for very long. I gave Uncle Monkey a pudding and we talked and then he took me back to daycare.”

"That's okay," Derek smiled.

“Daddy?”

"Yeah?"

“What’s vows?”

"Vows? Where did you hear that word?"

“Uncle Monkey said he’s gotta write vows and he doesn’t know how.”

"Oh," Derek grinned. "It's kind of a speech you say at your wedding, to promise the person you're marrying that you'll love them forever."

“Oh,” Hannah nodded. “So Uncle Monkey’s gotta tell Addie he’s gonna love her forever and ever?”

"Basically," Derek nodded.

“Then how’s come he doesn’t know how?”

"Because he wants to make sure that he says it the best way. It's words that stay with you forever and ever. They're very big words."

“Oh, okay,” Hannah sighed. “Daddy, can I have Mickey Mouse pancakes?”

"Of course you can," Derek nodded as they pulled up to the restaurant.

“With extra whip cream?”

"With extra whip cream."

“Cool!” she exclaimed as he helped her out of the car, holding her hand tightly.

"But only because it's a special Daddy and Hannah day."

“Very special Daddy and Hannah day,” Hannah nodded solemnly, her eyes sparkling.

"We should do this more," Derek sighed.

“What?” she asked as the waitress led them to their seats.

"We should have more Derek and Hannah days."

“Lots more,” she nodded seriously. “Cause we haven’t had Daddy and Hannah days in years.”

"Years? Really?"

“Years.”

"That's a really long time."

“I know,” she nodded. “Years and years.”

"Hannah, you do know you're seven."

“Yep,” she grinned as she colored the kid’s menu.

"You haven't been alive for years and years."

“Yeah I have. Seven years and years.”

"Oh okay," Derek laughed. "But we can have more."

“Good,” she grinned. “Lots more. We gotta go fishing and take Eskimo for walks and go ride ponies and everything.”

"Definitely," Derek nodded.

“Just us,” she sighed, picking up a red crayon.

"Yep," Derek nodded slowly, fighting the urge to hide under the table. "Sometimes it can be just us. And sometimes we can have Daddy, Hannah and Meredith days."

“I don’t wanna have Daddy and Hannah and Meredith days,” she frowned.

"You're still pretty mad at Meredith, aren't you?"

“Yeah,” Hannah nodded. “I’m real mad. Nana says I can’t be no more. She said I gotta be nice. But Meredith was mean first.”

"She was," Derek nodded. "Meredith made a mistake. Did she apologize?"

“I guess so,” Hannah sighed.

"You have to forgive her, Han."

“Why? She didn’t come to my family night and she promised.”

"I know she did. And she really feels bad about it. She made a really big mistake and she's sorry."

“But she promised. She promised she’d go and she didn’t.”

"I know, Han. What she did was wrong and she knows that."

“You’re mad too.”

"Nope, I'm not. Meredith and I made up last night."

“Oh,” Hannah frowned, biting her lip. He assumed this was another habit of Meredith’s his daughter had managed to pick up over the past year or so. “But she’s apposed to be my bestest friend and she didn’t go.”

"She made a mistake. Sometimes grown ups make mistakes."

“Uncle Monkey came. And Nana came. And Addie even came and she’s not my bestest friend.”

"I know. And Meredith feels really really bad. She thinks you hate her now."

“She’s the meanest Meredith in the whole world,” Hannah sighed dramatically.

"Really? Was she the meanest Meredith last week when she took you out for pizza before dance class?"

“Well....no. But now she’s the meanest Meredith in the whole world.”

"What about that morning when you cuddled in bed with her?"

“No. But now, Daddy.”

"She's not. And you know that."

“Huh uh.”

"Hannah, do you love Meredith?"

“Not now cause she’s the meanest Meredith in the whole world.’

"Hannah, she made a mistake. People make mistakes. You can't stop loving them because they make mistakes."

“But she promised. You said when I make a promise I gotta keep it.”

"You do," he nodded. "And what Meredith did was wrong and you're allowed to be mad. But when someone apologizes and feels really bad you have to forgive them."

“But she was mean.”

"She was. And she's sorry."

“Fine,” Hannah pouted, grabbing her crayon to color again.

"Hannah...that didn't sound like a real fine."

“Did too.”

"It didn't," Derek shook his head. "You have to forgive her, Hannah. You need to let this go."

“But she was...”

"Mean. I know. She said sorry...you have to accept that."

Hannah looked down at her paper for a few seconds, drawing stars across the bottom of the kid’s menu, her tongue sticking out the side of her mouth. He wasn’t sure what else to say to her. She had to learn forgiveness. She had to forgive Mer. Forgiving Mer would make the next part much easier. “Okay,” she whispered.

"Okay? Really okay?" he asked gently.

“Yeah,” she nodded. “But she can’t be mean ever again. And she’s gotta play with me lots and lots.”

"I'm sure she'll be good with that," Derek grinned.

“Okay,” she sighed.

"Are you going to talk to her when she gets home?"

“I guess so.”

"She loves you lots, Hannah."

“I know, she told me,” Hannah nodded.

"She didn't mean to make you mad or hurt your feelings. I can promise you that."

“But she did. She made me real sad cause she promised and she missed my big dance all by myself.”

"I know," he sighed. "You should talk to her about this."

“Maybe,” Hannah shrugged.

"It would help you both feel better."

“I’ll think about it,” she said, a small smile on her lips.

"Good," he nodded. "I like when you two get along."

“Me too,” Hannah grinned. “When she’s my bestest friend and not mean Meredith.”

"That's good, Han," Derek nodded, taking a deep breath. "She's not going anywhere."

“Cause she lives with us,” the seven year old nodded.

"Yes but....I love Meredith a lot. You know that."

“Yep. You love her lots and lots.”

"I do. And I am going to love her forever."

“Forever and ever?”

"Forever and ever."

“Like Uncle Monkey and Addie?”

"Exactly like Uncle Monkey and Addie," Derek nodded quickly.

“Are you gonna get married?”

"Actually...that's what I want to talk to you about."

“Bout getting married?”

"Yep," Derek nodded. "It's a big decision for our family and I wanted to make sure you're included."

“Maybe,” Hannah shrugged.

"It would help you both feel better."

“I’ll think about it,” she said, a small smile on her lips.

"Good," he nodded. "I like when you two get along."

“Me too,” Hannah grinned. “When she’s my bestest friend and not mean Meredith.”

"That's good, Han," Derek nodded, taking a deep breath. "She's not going anywhere."

“Cause she lives with us,” the seven year old nodded.

"Yes but....I love Meredith a lot. You know that."

“Yep. You love her lots and lots.”

"I do. And I am going to love her forever."

“Forever and ever?”

"Forever and ever."

“Like Uncle Monkey and Addie?”

"Exactly like Uncle Monkey and Addie," Derek nodded quickly.

“Are you gonna get married?”

"Actually...that's what I want to talk to you about."

“Bout getting married?”

"Yep," Derek nodded. "It's a big decision for our family and I wanted to make sure you're included."

“You’re gonna get married?” Hannah looked up from her coloring.

"I want to. I want to marry Meredith."

“Oh,” Hannah sighed, biting her lip.

"What do you think of that?"

“I...am I gonna be the flower girl like with Uncle Monkey and Addie?”

"Well...that's something we'll have to figure out with Meredith."

“Okay,” Hannah nodded slowly.

"Are you okay with Meredith and me getting married?"

“I...when Jenny’s daddy got married, she got a new mommy and her daddy moved away.”

"Oh," Derek nodded. "Meredith and I wouldn't go anywhere. It will still be the three of us in the house."

“Will...will Meredith be my mommy?”

"Well...that's...we have to talk to Meredith about that."

“But what if my real mommy ‘cides to come back?”

"Oh...that's...if it happens we'll deal with it then. But I don't think she is, Han."

“You sure?” Hannah sighed.

"I'm sure," he nodded slowly.

“So Meredith will be my new mommy?”

"Do you want her to be?"

“I don’t know,” Hannah whispered. "Maybe."

"That is something we can figure out with Meredith."

"Okay," Hannah nodded.

"But...this is okay?"

"Will she still be my bestest friend?"

"She'll always be your bestest friend, Han.”

"Okay," Hannah nodded. "It's okay."

"Really?" He had expected a temper tantrum. Or a fight. Or something other than this.

"I think so," she whispered.

"It's okay if you're not okay."

"You're still gonna love me, right? You're gonna love me the mostest? Cause Jenny's daddy doesn't even see her no more."

"Of course I'm still going to love you. You're my Hannah Banana. Nothing is going to change except for Meredith will be my wife instead of my girlfriend," Derek sighed, trying to ignore the way his heart had decided to skip a beat on the word wife.

"Okay," Hannah nodded.

"Okay?"

"Okay."

"So...there's something else I need to ask you. I need you to help me do something."

"What?" Hannah looked up as the waitress set her plate of Mickey Mouse pancakes in front of her.

"You know the really pretty ring Addison has?"

"Yeah," Hannah smiled. "She lets me wear it sometimes when I'm real good."

"Meredith needs one."

"She needs a ring?"

"She does. When a guy wants to marry someone he has to give her a ring when he asks."

"Why?"

"It's...just what people do. It's part of promising forever."

"So you gotta find Meredith a really pretty ring?"

"We've got to find Meredith a pretty ring."

"Me too?" Hannah grinned.

"Definitely," Derek smiled. "Me and you are a packaged deal. The ring has to be from both of us."

"It's gotta be a really, really, really pretty ring, Daddy."

"It does," he agreed.

"But not like Addie's. Addie's ring is pretty but Meredith's ring has gotta be lots prettier."

"Of course," Derek laughed softly, feeling himself beginning to relax. Hannah really was okay.

These are the moments I'll remember all my life
I found all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more



Disclaimer: According to Paddy they only have enough episodes to get us through Christmas. Paddy would know. And we trust Paddy. Which actually means the people that own Grey's Anatomy are really really slow. If we owned it we would be a lot faster.

"Is this it? Are we here?" Hannah chirped excitedly from the backseat as Derek parked the car in front of the jewelry store. She had been talking about the ring non stop since breakfast and had absolutely turned down all pony ride offers so that they could go find Meredith the "bestest ring in the whole wide universe". He couldn't help but grin at her excitement. It was the exact opposite of what he had expected.

"We're here," he laughed softly as he jumped out of the car to go open her door. He had expected shouts and protests and a lot more of a fight. He was going to ask Meredith to marry him. He was going to ask Meredith to love him forever and be only with him. And Hannah hadn't taken it so well when Mark had asked Addison that. But apparently she was more than okay with Meredith being his wife.

He wasn't entirely sure she understood what that meant, how big it actually was. But she was entirely happy with Meredith living with them forever and apparently she maybe wanted Meredith to be her new mommy. He wasn't even sure where the happiness had come from. But apparently, when Hannah forgave a person, she really forgave them. "Remember, Daddy, it's gotta be the prettiest ring ever!"

"I know," he nodded, smiling widely at her. "Meredith definitely gets the prettiest ring ever."

"Prettier than Addie's," Hannah nodded, taking his hand tightly and pulling him towards the door. "Lots prettier than Addie's."

"We'll see what we can find. Meredith's has to be perfect," Derek sighed.

"Yep," she grinned as he opened the door for her and she ran in. "Wow."

"Slow down, Han," Derek laughed, following close behind her. "You have to stay with me."

"Daddy, look at that," she exclaimed, standing on her tip toes to look into a display case, staring at a diamond necklace. "Wow."

"Very wow," he nodded. "But we need a ring."

"And look at that bracelet!" she shouted, running to a diamond and emerald bracelet.

"It's gorgeous. But ring, Han. And you really have to stay with me if you want to help."

"Can I get that one, Daddy?" Hannah asked, pointing to a gold locket.

"Hannah, that's pretty big for you," Derek sighed.

"But it's really pretty," she grinned, staring at it through the glass.

"It's really pretty," Derek agreed, looking at it carefully. "Maybe for Christmas this year Meredith and I can get you a locket."

"Really?"

"Really," he nodded. "If Meredith agrees."

"Okay," she grinned widely, staring at the locket a little longer. "But we gotta find Meredith the bestest ring in the universe, Daddy."

"We do," he laughed, grabbing her hand. "Come on."

She grabbed his hand and led him to a woman behind the counter. "'Scuse me," she smiled.

"Well hello," the woman smiled at Hannah.

"Me and my daddy gotta find the bestest ring in the universe for Meredith," Hannah stated seriously.

"You do?" the woman's smile widened.

"Yep," Hannah nodded. "Prettier than Addie's."

"Hannah," Derek laughed before smiling at the woman. "We're looking for an engagement ring for my girlfriend."

"Cause they're gonna get married," Hannah smiled.

"Well that is very exciting," the woman smiled at Hannah before turning to Derek. "I'm sure we can find you that prettiest ring in the universe."

"Thanks," Derek grinned as he watched Hannah stand on her tip toes to stare at the rings in the display case.

"Do you have any ideas in mind?" the woman asked.

"Oh...well, simple," Derek nodded. "Definitely simple."

"But really really pretty," Hannah grinned.

"But really really pretty," Derek laughed, leaning down to kiss the top of Hannah's head.

"We should be able to do that. Is there a price range you're looking in?"

"Not especially," Derek shook his head. "Nothing too lavish."

"Okay," the woman nodded slowly. "Have you had any discussions with her about what she wants?"

"Oh," he winced slightly. This was definitely not a conversation he had ever had with Meredith. She would probably kill him if he even brought it up. Which might be a sign. "Not really, no."

"Okay. Well we'll see what we have," the woman nodded, looking down at the display case. "How many stones are you thinking?"

"Probably just a solitaire," he nodded. "Like I said, simple."

"But pretty. The prettiest," Hannah cut in.

"The absolute prettiest," he laughed, pulling Hannah close to him.

"Simple and pretty," the woman grinned, pulling out a tray of rings. "We have quite a few solitaires shapes and styles."

"Ooo, look at that one, Daddy!" Hannah exclaimed, jumping to try to reach a ring.

"Oh that's very pretty," Derek grinned, picking her up and placing her on the counter.

"Let me see," Hannah said, taking the ring and putting on her thumb. "I don't know..."

"The stone is kind of big for Meredith," Derek nodded.

"Yeah, it's not the prettiest," Hannah shook her head, reaching for another ring. "Maybe this one."

"I don't think Meredith would like the heart shaped stone," Derek frowned.

"Oh it is like a heart!" Hannah giggled, staring at the ring. "Can I have it, Daddy?"

"Are you planning on getting married?"

"Nope," Hannah shook her head. "Boys have cooties, Daddy."

"Well you need a boy to give it to you," Derek pointed out.

"How come you can't give it to me?"

"Because I'm not marrying you, I'm marrying Meredith."

"I know that, Daddy," she rolled her eyes.

"And it's an engagement ring. Which means you have to marry the person who gives it to you."

"Oh," Hannah nodded. "It's too big anyway."

"It is," Derek smiled, taking it back from her and handing it to the sales lady.

"That one's kinda pretty," Hannah nodded, taking another ring and slipping it on.

"Is it Meredith-y?" Derek asked.

"What's that?" Hannah asked, reaching for another ring to put on her ring finger.

"I don't really know but Mer calls things Derek-y," Derek shrugged. "I think it means that it's like her."

"Oh," Hannah nodded. "I don't like this one, Daddy."

"So not that one," Derek grinned to the sales woman.

"Not that one," Hannah shook her head. "These aren't the prettiest rings in the universe."

"Are there some other ones we can see?" Derek asked the woman.

"Oh, yes," the woman nodded, eyeing Hannah carefully.

"Sounds hopeful," Derek grinned.

"We have these solitaire rings as well," the woman nodded, pulling out another tray. "And then these as well. They have side stones, but they are small and simple."

"Solitaire will probably be best," Derek nodded. "She's a surgeon so the ring will be coming off a lot."

"Are you sure, they are very pretty and simple?" the woman asked, looking at Hannah as the seven year old put another ring on.

"I'll look at them but I think my heart is set on the solitaire," Derek sighed. "She's simple. The only jewelry she wears is a necklace I gave her for Christmas."

"Not those, Daddy," Hannah shook her head, looking at the other rings. "Those are like Addie's ring and Meredith's ring has gotta be prettier than Addie's."

"So you keep saying," Derek laughed.

"We don't like those," Hannah sighed to the saleswoman, reaching for another solitaire ring and slipping it on with the three others she was now wearing.

"Okay," the woman nodded. "Please be careful with those, they're very expensive."

"I'm always careful," Hannah giggled.

"Don't worry," Derek smiled to the woman. "I'm watching her and she's good."

"All right," the woman sighed, holding up a ring. "This one is one of our best sellers. A diamond encrusted band, as well as the solitaire diamond setting."

"Hmmm..." Derek frowned. "What do you think, Han? Too fancy for Mer?"

"Yeah," Hannah nodded, scrunching her nose. "That's a lot of stuff, Daddy."

"It is," Derek nodded. "Meredith doesn't like a lot of stuff."

"What about this one, Daddy?" Hannah reached for another ring, slipping it onto her right hand, her left hand already filled with diamond rings.

"Let me see."

"I don't know if I like it," she sighed, holding out her hand. "It's real small."

"It is small," Derek nodded. "And we both have to like it."

"Do you like it, Daddy?"

"I do. But I don't think it's perfect."

"And we gotta get Meredith a perfect ring."

"Definitely," Derek nodded.

"Hmmm," Hannah chewed on her lip, looking over the rings. "Daddy! Look at this one!"

"Oh, that one looks amazing," Derek nodded.

She reached forward and slipped it on her hand, grinning widely. "It's real pretty, Daddy."

"It is," Derek nodded slowly.

"And a lot prettier than Addie's."

"Let me see it," Derek sighed.

"See," Hannah held out her ring-covered hand, the diamonds sparkling in the light.

"It's..." Derek breathed, slipping it off her finger and looking at it carefully. "Wow."

"One karat princess cut," the woman informed Derek. "Nearly flawless diamond."

"It's perfect," Derek nodded, blinking quickly, surprised to feel some tears prick his eyes.

"It's the prettiest ring in the whole universe," Hannah grinned widely, scooting closer to Derek to look at the ring.

"It's it," Derek whispered. "It's Mer's ring."

"Not too small?" the woman asked. "We do have some very similar that are closer to two karats."

"No," Derek shook his head. "It's the perfect size. She wouldn't want anything bigger."

"Can I hold it again, please?" Hannah asked, holding out her hand for the ring.

"Yep, but be really careful," Derek nodded.

"Okay," Hannah nodded, taking the ring and looking at it. "Wow."

"Wow is right," Derek sighed. "It's it."

"It's Meredith's ring," Hannah told the saleswoman.

"It seems like it is," the woman nodded.

"We'll buy it," Hannah nodded firmly, still looking at the ring.

"We will," Derek agreed.

"Cause it's the prettiest ring ever, right, Daddy?"

"It's the prettiest ring ever," Derek whispered his agreement.

"Yep," Hannah nodded, taking off the other rings. "We don't like these rings."

"Be careful giving them back," Derek sighed.

"I'm careful, Daddy," she nodded, handing them back to the lady as Derek took the ring back from her, staring at it. It really was the perfect ring. He had never fully expected he'd be buying an engagement ring for someone, not since Hannah had been born. But here he was, buying his Meredith a ring. A perfect ring. He cleared his throat as he felt tears prick the corner of his eyes.

He wasn't going to cry in the store. He'd look like some kind of wimp that he didn't want to even dream of being, and Hannah definitely wouldn't understand why holding a tiny ring would make him cry. He had to hold it in and try to think of something else. Something that wasn't as big as a ring that was going to change his life. It was too big and too perfect to actually contemplate.

He paid for it as quickly as possible and dragged his seven year old out of the store after she begged for almost every piece of jewelry in the place, his mind still racing. He had a ring. He had an engagement ring for his entirely perfect girlfriend, for the woman he wanted to grow old with. It was big. It was huge. And he couldn't believe it was actually happening.

Or eventually happening. He didn't actually have a plan as to when he was going to do this, or how. It had just kind of occurred to him when she had been giggling earlier, giggling and saying over and over again how much she loves him. And that bit about being done. She wanted this, she was finally willing to admit to herself she wanted this. And he had needed to buy a ring.

But he didn't actually have a plan. He knew tonight would be too soon. She would freak out. Completely and entirely freak out and quite possibly say no. He had no idea how or when to do this, only that one day he would. Only that one day, she would be his fiancée, and then his wife. "Daddy?" Hannah asked from the backseat.

"Yeah?"

"Is Meredith at work?"

"She is," he nodded.

"Can we go give her her ring right now?"

"Oh...." Derek laughed. "No, we can't do it right now."

"Why not?"

"Well, asking someone to marry you is a really big deal and you can't just walk in while they're working and ask. It has to be special."

"Oh," Hannah nodded slowly. "Are you gonna give her her ring when she gets home?"

"Nope, I have to think of something really special."

"I'll think too," Hannah nodded.

"Okay," Derek nodded slowly. "But I want to ask her by myself, okay?"

"Okay," Hannah sighed after a second. "But you gotta tell her I helped, okay?"

"Of course I will," Derek grinned. "And we will all go out to celebrate if she says yes."

"For ice cream?"

"Ice cream works," he nodded.

"Cool," Hannah grinned.

"Very cool," Derek smiled. When he finally figured out how to propose he'd celebrate with his daughter and ice cream. It would be weird, it would be non-traditional and for them it would be entirely perfect. He just needed to come up with the plan to actually ask her. It couldn't be too fancy, it couldn't be too elaborate but it had to be perfect.

He wasn't entirely sure he wanted it to be a moment alone at the house, with Hannah at his mom's or something. She would probably like it. It was simple. But he wasn't sure it was how he wanted to do it. Of course, he was half expecting her to say no so doing it in private might actually be much less humiliating. But he had time to figure this out. He had a few weeks, at least.

And while he was waiting he needed to figure out where to keep the ring. Because Meredith liked wearing his clothes a little too much and had a bad habit of going through his drawers. Well adorable habit except for that he needed to hide something. He needed to keep it somewhere safe. He could leave it at his mom's, or Mark's, or somewhere else. But he wanted it at home.

The kitchen was an option. She was too terrified to actually cook, or he had banned her from it. But there would probably be some night she was watching Han and needed to cook macaroni and cheese or something. And she would find it. So the kitchen was out. His office was another option, though she had taken to studying in there when she needed quiet time. He needed somewhere she definitely wouldn't be poking around.

He needed something so she wouldn't know. He had weeks to kill, maybe months before he actually decided to ask her the big life changing question. So he needed somewhere good, that he could leave it for ages and she'd never find it. "Hannah...I need your help again."

"Yeah?" Hannah grinned.

"I need to hide Meredith's ring somewhere."

"How come?" she frowned.

"Because I'm not asking her right away and she can't know I have it. It has to be adorable."

"When are you gonna ask her?"

"I don't know," he sighed.

"But it's her ring, Daddy," Hannah sighed. "You gotta give it to her."

"I do," Derek laughed. "And I will. But it's like a gift...you have to give it at the right time and it has to be a surprise till then."

"Oh," Hannah nodded slowly. "I know where you can hide it, Daddy!"

"You do?"

"Yep."

"Where?"

"I can't tell you."

"Hannah, you have to tell me," he laughed. "If you don't tell me, how am I supposed to hide it?"

"I'll hide it," she giggled.

"But I need to know where it is," he sighed.

"But it's my secret hiding spot."

"You have a secret hiding spot?"

"Yep."

"But what if I need it and you're at school?"

"Then you gotta wait til I get home."

"But it's...I need to know where it is."

"Okay," she groaned. "But you can't get mad when you go get it and you find other stuff, okay?"

"Okay," he nodded seriously.

"In my seat by my window," Hannah grinned widely. "Under my stuffed animals."

"Hannah, that is an excellent hiding spot."

"I know," she giggled.

"So we can hide the ring there," he nodded. That was good. He had a hiding spot now, that was really good. Meredith would never look there. She wasn't big on the cleaning thing and when she did do it she did it fast. Which meant she would just throw more toys on top and not take any out. She would have no idea it was there and he could leave it there for however long he had to.

He supposed he should be worrying about what exactly his daughter was hiding in this ultra secret hiding spot, but right now, he was more happy with the fact that he had a ring for his girlfriend. And a hiding spot for the ring until he felt she was more ready for this. It was going to be amazing, once he figured it out. Once he figured out how to propose to her, weeks from now. Or months.

There would be no way that Meredith would find out about his plan, or however long it took to actually work up the courage. Because she would say yes, he knew she would say yes, he just wasn't sure if she would say it quite yet. So he needed time to figure this out. And he needed to make sure she had no idea what was going on in the mean time. Hiding was key.

He would just act entirely normal around her. He wasn't going to drop any hints, not any obvious ones anyway. He was going to carry on like normal until the time was right. Until he could get the ring and get down on one knee and ask her to marry him. If he even got down on one knee. He wasn't sure she was the type of girl to appreciate that. Which is why he had to keep this from her until he figured it out.

It would be easy. Completely totally easy. He just needed to make sure that he didn't say anything that might lead to the kind of conversation where something might slip. And make sure Hannah didn't say anything. Hannah, his very chatty seven year old who had the best intentions of keeping things secret and usually failed miserably. Crap. "Hannah?"

"Yeah, Daddy?"

"I need another favour."

"Another one?" she giggled.

"Another one," he laughed. "And this is a really big one."

"Okay."

"You can't tell Meredith."

"About what?"

"About the ring. Or me asking her to marry me."

"What if she asks?"

"She won't. And if she does...you just...you have to keep it a secret."

"But that's lying, Daddy."

"It's a surprise, Hannah. A good one."

"But what if she asks?"

"You can't tell her."

"So I gotta lie?" Hannah frowned.

"It's not lying, Han. It's...a secret. It's...stretching the truth."

"Nana says that's lying."

"It is...technically. But…this is a good lie. It's so Meredith will be surprised."

"Like at Christmas?"

"Exactly."

"Oh," Hannah said slowly. "Okay. I won't tell."

"Good," Derek nodded. "And really...you really really can't tell."

"I won't."

"We need to pinky swear when we get home. And you need to cross your heart and hope to die."

"Okay," Hannah nodded. "Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye."

"Thank you," he nodded. "This has to be really really secret."

"I know, Daddy," she nodded. "Biggest secret ever. I won't tell. That's why I crossed my heart and hoped to die."

"Okay," he smiled. "It's our secret for life or longer, right?"

"For life or longer," she giggled.

"Good," he nodded.

"I won't tell no one," she promised. "It's a Daddy and Hannah secret."

"It is," he grinned. "A really...amazing secret."

Made my decision that it's you all right
And when I take your hand
I'll watch my heart set sail

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oncetherewasaway Dec 27 2007, 01:45 PM Post #10
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 Disclaimer: Paddy is the most amazing person alive. Being all concerned about the people who live paycheck to paycheck and how this strike is going to hurt them. Obviously best person ever. If we owned the show we would be trying to help these people...so Paddy wouldn't have to worry.

She was home, finally. She hadn't even wanted to go to bed today. She didn't know making up after a fight was as fun as it actually was. She knew the sex would be good, make up sex was legendary. She had known that was coming but the giggling and the sense of rightness had taken her by surprise. She wanted to cuddle with Derek all day and she had been stuck working. It sucked.

To make matters even weirder, she had spent the entire day wanting to be in bed next to him, cuddling and giggling. She wasn't that kind of person. She wasn't the kind of person who spent her entire day wanting to be in bed with her boyfriend. But it had been all she wanted all day, and it had definitely made the day go by a little bit faster. But now she was home and definitely ready to go to bed.

She knew that wasn't actually going to happen. She had a kind of daughter that still hadn't forgiven her and that would probably have to be dealt with. That had been the plan at least last night. But that had been before the cuddling and the kissing and now she just wanted to go back to that. She was entirely ready to get back to that. So hopefully the talking and any eating would go quickly.

She opened the door slowly, kicking off her shoes as she leaned against the wall. She really needed to do the cuddling thing. And a massage thing. Definitely a massage thing. "Meredith's home!" she suddenly heard Hannah yell. "Meredith's home!"

That was unexpected. Hannah sounded happy that she was home. Hannah that hadn't said a word to her besides the necessary ones since she hadn't gone to the ballet practice. She had a feeling Derek might talk to her today but she hadn't expected it to go this way. "Hey Mer," Derek greeted her, smiling widely as he came to greet her.

"Hey," she breathed, wrapping her arms tightly around him.

"Miss me?" he smirked.

"Not really," she giggled.

"You're right," he laughed. "It doesn't seem like you missed me at all."

"Meredith's home!" Hannah yelled, running down the stairs and barreling towards her, wrapping her arms tightly around her waist.

"Hey Hannah," Meredith grinned, running her fingers through her hair, shooting Derek a confused look.

"Hi, Meredith," Hannah grinned widely.

"Umm...have a good day?" Meredith asked.

"Yep!" Hannah nodded. "Me and Daddy had a Daddy and Hannah day and I didn't have to go to school!"

"You did?"

"Yeah!"

"Very cool," Meredith nodded.

"It was the coolest," Hannah grinned. "We went out for pancakes and I had Mickey Mouse pancakes."

"Yummy," Meredith smiled.

"Daddy even let me get extra whip cream cause it was a special treat," Hannah giggled.

"Which apparently was a mistake as she's now on a sugar high," Derek laughed.

"That was hours ago, Der," Meredith giggled, leaning into him.

"It had long term affects," he sighed, pressing a kiss on her forehead. "How was work?"

"Long," she sighed. "Definitely didn't want to be there."

"Do you ever want to?" he asked.

"Of course I do," she rolled her eyes. "I love my job."

"Okay...you never want to be there when I'm not," he grinned.

"You're so incredibly cocky," she shook her head, kissing him quickly.

"Hmmm...you missed me," he murmured.

"I did."

"I missed you too."

"I'm thinking you were too busy to miss me," she giggled, gesturing to Hannah who was playing with Eskimo.

"Never too busy," he shook his head. "But yes today has been...intense."

"She's talking to me," Meredith lowered her voice.

"She is," he nodded. "We talked."

"Okay," she nodded slowly.

"You still have to talk to her but...I think she's finally willing to listen," he sighed.

"Apparently," she smiled slightly, wrapping her arms around him, resting her head against his chest.

"Is it okay that I talked to her?"

"It's good, Der," she nodded. "I thought we...but it's good. Now she doesnt' hate me and I can talk and...it's good."

"Sorry," he murmured, kissing the top of her head. "I would have waited but I had something else to talk to her about and...I had to clear that up first."

"Something else?" Meredith frowned, pulling away slightly.

"Don't worry about it," he shook his head, kissing her quickly. "Just stuff."

"Okay..." she nodded slowly.

"Hmm..." he grinned, before kissing her again, stretching it out a minute longer. "I love you."

"I love you too," she murmured.

"Hannah wants spaghetti for supper...is that okay with you?"

"Spaghetti sounds good," she grinned.

"Good," he nodded, kissing her again. "God, I missed you."

"I missed you too," she giggled against his lips, wrapping her arms tighter around him. "Which may make us really pathetic."

"It really does," he sighed.

"Do you think she'll crash soon?" Meredith whispered against his lips, discreetly moving her hips against him.

"I hope so," he groaned, running his hand along her ass.

"Der," she breathed, catching his lips again.

"Hmmm...later, I promise," he murmured, rubbing his erection against her.

"Daddy!" Hannah came running in, Eskimo's leash in her hands. "Can I take Eskimo for a walk?"

"Umm...sure," Derek nodded. "I have to make supper but how about you and Mer take him out?"

"Yeah, Meredith!" Hannah grinned.

"Okay," Meredith nodded, kissing Derek quickly. "I guess I get to miss you again."

"You do," he laughed, kissing her quickly again. "Might be a chance to talk to her, Mer."

"I know," Meredith sighed. "It's good."

"Come on, Meredith," Hannah grabbed her hand.

"I'm coming," Meredith giggled.

"Have fun," Derek called after them as Hannah dragged her out of the house.

"Are you good with the leash?" Meredith asked.

"Yep," Hannah nodded, grasping the leash tightly as Eskimo moved quickly ahead of them, almost dragging the little girl forward.

"Okay," Meredith laughed softly. "So you and Daddy had a good day?"

"Yeah," Hannah grinned. "A really, really good day."

"That's good...that's...really good."

"Huh uh."

"What did you do?"

"We went out for breakfast and I ate Mickey Mouse pancakes and talked and colored and then Daddy and me went..." Hannah paused, her eyes going wide as she bit her lip. "Nothing."

"You went nothing?" Meredith frowned.

"Nowhere. And we didn't do anything," Hannah said quickly.

"Oh," Meredith's frown deepened. "So after pancakes you did nothing?"

"Um....yeah."

"Okay," Meredith nodded slowly. "Well...as long as you had fun."

"Lots of fun."

"Good."

"Yep," Hannah breathed, sounding entirely relieved.

"So we should talk..."

"That's what Daddy said," Hannah sighed.

"He's usually smart about this stuff."

"Daddy's really smart."

"He is."

"The smartest."

"Definitely," Meredith nodded, biting the inside of her cheek not to laugh. "I'm sorry, Hannah."

"I know. 'Pology accepted."

"Wh...just like that?"

"Daddy says grown ups make mistakes and I gotta forgive."

"Okay," Meredith nodded. "But you can be mad if you want. We can talk about it."

"You promised you were gonna come," Hannah said after a couple minutes. "You promised and you didn't."

"I know. And that was really mean of me. I made a big bad mistake."

"It was super mean."

"I know it was," Meredith nodded. "I know what it feels like."

"And you missed my big dance all by myself," Hannah sighed. "I was the only one in my whole class who got a big dance all by myself and you missed it."

"I hate that I missed it," Meredith sighed. "I really do."

"How come you missed it if you didn't want to?"

"A really cool surgery came up at work."

"But...I had a big dance all by myself," Hannah frowned.

"I know you did," Meredith nodded. "I was really tired and my boss asked me to do the surgery, I didn't think enough."

"You shoulda said no."

"I know I should have."

"But you didn't. And you're my bestest friend and bestest friends gotta go see big dances."

"I know they do," Meredith nodded firmly. "I won't miss it ever again unless it's a big surgery I can't say no to because it's my patient."

"Promise?"

"Promise," Meredith grinned. "I love you, Han. I didn't mean to make you feel like that. I know it sucks."

"You promised last time," Hannah sighed. "Now you gotta pinky swear. Cause if you break a pinky swear really bad things happen."

"I can do that," Meredith smiled, offering Hannah her tiny finger.

"Good," Hannah linked her finger around Meredith's and squeezed tightly. "Say you pinky swear to never ever ever miss my big dances or anything else."

"I pinky swear to never ever miss your big dances or anything else."

"Okay," Hannah smiled. "Cause bestest friends can't miss stuff."

"I know," Meredith grinned. "And I won't, not anymore."

"Or else I can be really mad at you and you can't tell Daddy that I'm being mad," Hannah said firmly.

"Okay," Meredith nodded.

"Good," Hannah grinned.

"Do you still remember the dance?" Meredith asked.

"Course I do!" Hannah giggled. "I gotta do it at my recital too!"

"You can show it to me when we get home."

"Really?"

"Definitely."

"You'll like it lots, Meredith!" Hannah exclaimed. "Addie said I was the bestest and Uncle Monkey said I was gonna be famous!"

"Wow," Meredith grinned. "That sounds pretty exciting."

"I'm gonna be a famous ballerina and a famous doctor," Hannah grinned widely. "I'm gonna do both."

"You are?"

"Yeah," Hannah nodded. "Daddy said that would be really really hard but I'm gonna do it."

"You can do it," Meredith grinned. "You can do anything you want."

"Not anything," Hannah giggled. "There's lots I can't do. Like...fly. Though flying would be really, really cool."

"It would be," Meredith giggled. "And you can do anything that you can actually really do. If that made any sense."

"It kinda did."

"Good," Meredith smiled. "If you want to be a doctor and a ballerina, you can be."

"You gotta tell Daddy that."

"I will," Meredith nodded.

"Good," Hannah grinned and then sighed. "I'm real sorry if I was mean to you, Meredith."

"You were mad, it's okay," Meredith sighed. "But apology accepted. I'm really sorry I missed it."

"'Pology accepted," Hannah smiled, taking Meredith's hand again.

"So we're good?"

"We're good," Hannah nodded.

"Good."

"Yep," Hannah smiled, walking a little bit and then suddenly stopping and throwing her arms around Meredith's waist. "I love you lots, Meredith."

"I love you lots too, Han," Meredith breathed.

Hannah tightened her hold on her waist while Meredith ran her fingers through the seven year old's curls. This definitely hadn't been what she had expected. It had been...easy. No temper tantrums. Just talking. Just the two of them talking and...and this. This which felt incredibly good and right and not weird at all. She was pretty sure Hannah had never hugged her like this and it felt...right.



Disclaimer: Alicia and Katie officially have no idea what's going to happen on Grey's Anatomy. Which completely totally sucks. If we owned the show this would not be an issue. We would know. Which would be nice.


Rain fell softly against the windows as she rolled closer to him, wrapping her naked legs around his, her body still shining with sweat. The blankets and sheets were in a tangled mess at the foot of the bed, and he didn't even want to think about having to untangle them before bed. He didn't want to think period. He just wanted to stay like this, with his girlfriend, for the rest of the night.

Hannah was sleeping over at a friend's house and he could just stay like this all night. He didn't have to move, he didn't have to get dressed. He could just lay here and listen to the rain hit the roof and enjoy the feeling of Meredith beside him. It felt perfect. And he was quite certain if never moved again he'd be okay with that. He could die just like this and be happy.

Meredith let out a breathy, satisfied sigh as she rested her head against his chest, giggling slightly. It was her post-orgasm giggle, and he loved it. He loved her little sighs and giggles, he loved the way she felt cuddling against him, he just entirely loved everything about this second. He pressed his lips to her neck, moving her hair to the side with one hand while trailing his fingers down her back with the other.

She sighed again, nestling deeper against his chest as he let his fingers play along her smooth back. This was nice, this was perfect. He definitely never had to move from this spot. Even the never ending Seattle rain bothered him as much right now. It actually added to this, the feeling of warmth and safety that filled their room. Everything about this felt entirely perfect.

He considered briefly running to Hannah's room. Because he couldn't actually imagine any moment more perfect than this one to ask her to marry him. To ask her to give him a lifetime instead of the uninterrupted twenty-four hours they would have. But he didn't want to move. He didn't want to move out of his bed, he didn't want to let go of her.

That could wait. The ring hadn't moved, he kept checking on it, asking Hannah about it. So the asking could wait. Right now he just wanted to hold her close and smell the lavender coming from her hair and the smell that was so purely Meredith after sex. And feel her skin under his fingers. They didn't get to do this enough, they never actually got to do this. He needed to savor it.

He traced a figure eight over her spine, smiling when she giggled at the sensation, her back arching slightly. "Tickles," she breathed.

"Good tickle?" he murmured

"Hmmm," she nodded, moving her foot up and down his shin as her back relaxed, letting him trail his fingers over each vertebrae.

"This is amazing," he whispered/

"Amazing," she echoed quietly.

"Hmm..." he nodded, trailing his hand back up her back.

Her back arched ever so slightly against his hand as the rain came down a little harder outside and he pressed slow and gentle kisses to her neck and shoulders. His hand moved around to her side, lightly brushing over her curves and arms. "Safe," she murmured so quietly he wasn't entirely sure he had heard her correctly.

"Hmm?" he asked.

"Safe," she whispered a little louder. "I feel...this is safe."

"Oh," he nodded slowly. "Yeah...it is."

"Hmm," she nodded against his chest, her hair tickling him as his hand moved back down over arms and stomach, moving to rest on her hips.

"Never want to move," he murmured.

"That would be nice," she breathed.

"It would be."

"Probably not possible though," she giggled slightly turning so that she was facing him, her hand moving down to grasp his.

"Sadly," he sighed.

"But not now," she breathed, nuzzling his chest, lightly trailing her fingernails over his chest hair.

"Now now," he agreed, relaxing into her touch. He moved his arm so that it was wrapped around her, supporting her as she squeezed his hand tightly. He never wanted to move again. Never wanted to work again. Work seemed entirely ridiculous compared to this moment. This second when she was in his arms and the rain was falling outside. And she felt safe. She was relaxed in his arms. He wasn't sure he had ever seen her this relaxed.

He fought the urge to go and get the ring again. Getting up would ruin the moment. He'd come back and everything would be different and the timing wouldn't be right anymore. He could ask without the ring, he could just let the words slip out but that didn't feel right. He wanted the ring in his hands. He wanted to be able to slip it on her finger the second she said yes.

It was the first time he regretted hiding it in Hannah's room, the first time he regretted not keeping it in his bedside drawer. He could just move his arm and grab it if he had done that, but even moving his arms from her would ruin the moment. This was...this was perfect. Moving even slightly would ruin the perfection. So he would just be content with this, knowing that this wouldn't go away.

"I love you," he whispered instead of a proposal.

"I love you too," she whispered back, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.

"Hmmm..." he groaned slightly.

"No sex," she shook her head, pulling her hips away from the erection that was forming. "Not now."

"Sorry," he murmured. "Chemical reaction...I don't want it right now."

"Chemical reaction," she giggled. "So technical."

"Doctor," he laughed softly.

"Hmmm," she nodded, cuddling closer to his chest.

"Hmmm..." he echoed. "Sleep?"

"Not yet," she shook her head. "Not...no."

"Good. Don't want to either."

"Good," she breathed.

"Perfect."

"Der?" she breathed after a second, squeezing his hand tighter.

"Yeah?"

"We...I mean, this is it, right?"

"This is it," he breathed.

"Hmmm," she nodded, curling even closer to him, her breath tickling his chest as she went quiet again. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, burying his nose in her hair, his fingers lightly playing with the waves. "Der?"

"Yeah," he breathed.

"Hannah's real mom...she can't...I mean, she really can't come back right?"

"Oh," Derek frowned slightly at the unexpected topic. "She can technically come back...but not into Hannah's life, she has no claim on her."

"So Hannah's not hers...at all?"

"Hannah's not hers at all. She's mine...well ours."

"Ours," Meredith breathed, nodding slightly. "Okay."

"Why?

"No reason," she shook her head. "Just wondering."

"Okay," he murmured.

"Okay," she echoed, pressing a kiss to his collarbone.

"Hmmm..." he breathed.

"Love you."

"Love you too."

He imagined if she could move any closer to him, she would. But the gap between them was already closed, their skin already touching as she relaxed in his arms. Her breathing evened as she dozed lightly in his arms, still sighing softly as he ran his fingers through her hair, squeezing her hand tightly. This was it. This was entirely it.

He felt the words coming to his lips, words of asking her for forever but he couldn't, not now. Not without the ring and not like this. It was perfect, this moment was perfect in so many ways and yet it wasn't it. There'd be more moments like this, more entirely perfect moments in which asking forever felt like the most natural thing in the world. He'd wait. He was good with waiting.

"Hmm," she sighed, stretching slightly and turning again, her back now cuddled against his chest as she released his hand, moving it underneath her head. He moved his hand back to her hips, moving it up and down slowly as he relearned her curves. He knew them. He entirely knew them. But as he ran his hands over her, he couldn't help but think he was relearning every inch of her.

"Hmmm..." he smiled widely, pressing a light kiss on the back of her neck.

"We keep making funny hmmm noises," she mumbled, the start of a giggle building in her throat.

"We do," he laughed softly. "Too happy to talk."

"Talking is over rated," she nodded.

"Definitely," he murmured. "Although..."

"No although," she groaned.

"I hate to destroy the perfect moment, Mer, you know I do," he sighed. "But with Hannah not around, this is probably a good time to talk about this."

"So it's a bad although."

"Not a bad although," he shook his head as he ran his fingers through her hair. "Just...you kind of confuse Hannah when you freak out."

"If I'm going to freak out that makes it a bad although."

"My mom is having the family over for supper next week and wants you to come."

"Oh," Meredith breathed, stiffening in his arms. "Well, I...I mean, I haven't been coming to anything else. So...she gets it, Der."

"She does," he nodded. "But...it's time, Mer."

"It doesn't have to be time. It can be time...later. Much later. Time is over rated. Just like talking. You know what isn't over rated? Sex. Or sleeping. But mostly sex."

"Mer..." he sighed. "We've been together for a while and you're raising their niece. They have a right to meet you."

"I know they do," she nodded. "But it's only been a little over a year and...they can meet me later. At Christmas or Hannah's birthday."

"That's a lot later, Mer. And it wouldn't be that long. Mark's wedding comes first."

"So I meet them at Mark's wedding. Works for me."

"Meredith, I don't want you to meet them at Mark's wedding. I want to take you home with me."

"Derek," she groaned, pulling out of his arms and sitting up. "I just...that's big and huge and you have a really big family. Four sisters with husbands and lots of kids. Lots and lots of kids."

"I know, Mer. I know that there's a lot of people...but...you're it for me. I want you to know my family."

"And I can know them later," she nodded. "I can...I mean, it's not like my family, Derek. You were great with Susan. Susan loved you. She practically worshipped you and was ready to adopt you and Hannah but I...and your family isn't Susan. Your family is big and really really close and they'll probably...I can know them later."

"Meredith...they're not going to hate you," Derek frowned slightly. "Hannah and I love you, it's enough for them. And Mom adores you."

"It's...it's big. It's really big and your mom likes me but she's...and you have four sisters. Four sisters and it's big and huge and really really scary and I really think I can meet them later. Much later. Mark's wedding or...or later."

"There is no later. Mark's wedding is the latest I'm letting you go."

"So I can wait until Mark's wedding?"

"Mer..."

"You just said I could go until Mark's wedding."

"Yes, technically...but...I want you to come next week."

"I...I think I'm working."

"You don't even know what day it is."

"Um...what day is it?"

"Saturday. And you're off. I checked."

"I might get called in."

"Fine," Derek groaned. "Whatever."

"What?" Meredith frowned.

"Just...go to work or stay home or whatever. You obviously don't want to meet them."

"Okay, are you mad at me or something?" she frowned. "Because a second ago...are you mad at me?"

"Mer...I don't want to be mad at you," he sighed. "I'm...yeah, I'm kind of mad at you."

"You can't be mad," she shook her head. "You can't...you can't be mad. We're naked. In bed. Being mad isn't...why are you mad at me?"

"Because I love you. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone and I'm planning on spending forever with you. And things...I've spent the last two years trying to make this easier for you, giving what I could because I know you're new at this. I get it. But...I want you to meet my family and you're acting like I'm asking you to walk the plank or something."

"According to Mark, meeting the Shepherds is kind of like walking the plank."

"Maybe it is," he shrugged. "Mer...from the time I had Hannah to when I met you...my sisters would bring every single friend home, they'd try to set me up on blind dates, they found random strangers...they did everything for me to find someone."

"You realize that makes them sound even more scary?"

"Possibly. But Mer...you're it. I want to take you home and show you off, show them what I found without even trying."

"I'm pretty sure you had to try."

"Mer...you're impossible sometimes, you know that, right?"

"I'm not trying to be impossible," she sighed. "And don't be mad at me. This is...I don't do family. Or I didn't do family and now apparently I do because I have you and Hannah and I met your mom who is great but your sisters...you know Mark was following Addison all over the hospital when she met your family? Like, all over the hospital giving tips and she's...she's Addison."

"And she was fine," Derek sighed. "She said yes and she was perfectly fine."

"But she's Addison. She's fabulous and gorgeous and looks like...her and I'm me."

"You're fabulous and gorgeous and the love of my life."

"I am not fabulous and gorgeous. I am definitely not either of those things. I'm me. I ramble and I...and I don't do family. Or didn't do family. And she did great and she lived but I...Mark was nervous about Addie meeting your sisters. Which says nothing good about me."

"Meredith, they're going to love you. I don't actually know anyone who knows you and doesn't love you."

"I'm sure there are people."

"Crazy insane people that I don't want to know."

"Derek.." she sighed.

"Mer...I'm not nervous about you meeting my family. I have no tips, no pointers. I know they will love you. And I want you to meet them. It's important to me."

"It's important to you," she sighed, biting her lower lip as she pulled her knees up to her chest.

"I get that you don't do family, Mer. I do. I knew you'd freak out. But this...it's important to me. Taking you to a family dinner...letting my family know that you're it, that I love you. It's important to me."

"And it's really big," she murmured. "It says things."

"Mer...there's not much left to say between us."

"I know," she whispered. "We...but it says things to other people."

"Is that so bad?"

"I...no," she shook her head. "I just...no."

"You can stick by my side the whole time. We can super glue our hands together if it helps."

"That might be awkward," she smiled slightly.

"It might be but I'm willing to do it."

"I..." she chewed on her lip, her arms pulling her knees closer to her. "Saturday?"

"Saturday," he nodded slowly.

"Okay," she sighed.

"Okay?"

"Okay," she repeated, nodding slowly. "But...you can't leave me alone with them. Ever."

"I won't. I promise. I'll stay by your side the entire time."

"Okay."

"Thank you."

"You're lucky I love you," she rolled her eyes.

"I am," he grinned, kissing her lightly. "You'll be okay."

"Until I'm dead," she sighed.

"It will be fine, Mer," he sighed. "And if it's not...let me know and I'll fake a headache so we can escape."

"Blaming Hannah would probably work better."

"True," he laughed softly. "But we'll have an escape route regardless."

"Okay," she sighed, laying back down.

"Sorry for ruining the moment," he sighed, laying back down beside her.

"Anymore stupid althoughs?"

"None at all."

"Good," she sighed, pulling his arm forward to drape over her, her hand entwining with his.

"Very good," he murmured.

"You can make your funny hmmm noise now," she whispered.

"Hmmm," he breathed before laughing and pulling her closer.

"Love you, Der," she giggled.

"Love you too, Mer," he whispered.

Sunday morning rain is falling
Steal some covers share some skin
Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable



Disclaimer: Strikes suck. Strikes that put Grey's Anatomy in a wierd hiatus that may last months really really suck. We don't like strikes. So don't worry. We won't be going on strike anytime soon.

Lexie was talking. They were walking through the hall, headed toward Derek's office as somehow they were both with him today and Lexie was definitely talking. Meredith could definitely hear that she was talking. She just was having a few problems concentrating on the words that were coming out of her sister's mouth. Which probably had something to do with Alex so concentrating would be good.

Except she couldn't concentrate. There was no way she could concentrate on what her sister was saying about Alex. Because she was meeting Derek's family. In two days, she was meeting Derek's family. His very big, very huge family. She was losing sleep over this. Derek had told her and she had agreed because it was important to him. And now she wasn't sleeping. Or concentrating.

He knew she wasn't sleeping and he wasn't pushing it. Which was good. He would just smile and say I love you and try to find some way to distract her from her thoughts. Her very big scary thoughts. Because she knew this was it. She knew Derek was it but knowing that and acutally meeting his family were two very different things and it was terrifying. Very terrifying.

They would ask questions. They would ask things and want to know things and judge and...she had heard Mark. She had heard him when he had spent an entire day following Addison around until she threatened to kill him. The Shepherd sisters were scary. They were scary and they were protective. And there were four of them. Which was a lot of scary and protectiveness.

Derek didn't seem to be worried. He seemed entirely thrilled like maybe the fact she was meeting his sisters was the best idea ever. Except for he was Derek and he had a tendency to be an idiot sometimes. Which meant that his lack of worrying was probably more of a reason for her to worry. It was going to be bad. It was going to be realy bad. Nothing good would come from this.

She had already tried getting out of it. Subtly though. Because if she tried to obviously get out of it he got mad and she hated when he was mad so she tried to subtly get out it. She had even tried telling him his mom had called and supper was canceled. She hadn't even expected that he had just gotten off the phone with his mom, and he had just rolled his eyes at her. She really hated him sometimes.

"Mer...you're doing that silent thing. What did Derek do now?" Lexie suddenly asked.

"What?" Meredith looked up, narrowly avoiding running into a crash cart. "Nothing. I'm good. Not silent."

"Definitely silent. What did he do?"

"He didn't do anything," she shook her head. "Nothing. I'm good. Fine. Great. Who the hell leaves a crash cart in the middle of the hallway?"

"People who expect surgeons to watch where they're going."

"I'm watching where I'm going. I'm completely watching where I'm going."

"Mer...what the hell did he do this time?"

"This time?" Meredith frowned. "You act like he does things a lot."

"He doesn't," Lexie laughed. "He's perfect, I know. But when you're like this it's because he did something. Usually a good something."

"Or that he's being an idiot."

"Well which is it? McDreamy or an idiot?"

"I...idiot," Meredith nodded. "Complete idiot."

"What is it?"

"I'm meeting his family," Meredith sighed.

"Oh," Lexie grinned. "How does that make him an idiot?"

"Lexie...family. Big huge family. Four sisters. Nine nieces. Five nephews. Family."

"That is a big family," Lexie nodded.

"And he's forcing me to meet them. Idiot."

"Well...you two have been together for ages."

"A year."

"Officially, yes. But playing around with things a lot longer," Lexie sighed. "That sounded dirty, I blame Alex."

"Of course you blame Alex," Meredith rolled her eyes. "I blame Alex too. I blame Alex and...and officially, a year. Which is...it's only been a year. And he wants me to meet his family. His huge scary family. I'm thinking I should get sick."

"Mer...that's not fair to him."

"Why not? It's his fault for having a huge family. A huge scary family with protective sisters."

"Actually that would be his parents fault. But Mer...he's been nothing but perfect to you."

"I know he has," Meredith sighed.

"He's been really great about giving you time. Most guys wouldn't wait over a year to take you home."

"I know and I get that. I just...I don't know if...this is big, Lexie. This says things."

"Because living with him and raising his daughter doesn't?"

"Okay, that's different. Because that's...I know where this is going, Lexie. But meeting his family...that says it's going there really fast."

"A year isn't fast."

"It feels fast. It feels really really fast and I really...it's his family, Lex. They'll ask questions. Big questions and they'll want to know things."

"Mer, you'll do fine," Lexie sighed. "He's not going to just drop you off and abandon you."

"I know he's not. But it's still meeting his family. And Lexie, it says things to them."

"It says that you love him."

"It says he wants things."

"Which I'm sure they know. And you know."

"Lexie...it says he wants things. Big things. Big things that...it says he wants them soonish."

"No, it doesn't," Lexie shook her head. "I've met plenty of boyfriend's families and none of them have proposed the next week."

"I guess," Meredith chewed on her lip. "I just...it's big, Lexie. It's big and he has a big family and they could entirely hate me."

"His mom loves you, doesn't she?" Lexie asked,

"Well...yeah. But that doesn't mean his sisters will."

"I'm sure they will. They're not evil."

"Do you know that for sure? Because Mark made them sound evil."

"Addison seemed to come out alive," Lexie pointed out.

"Addison’s Addison."

"And Derek adores you. I'm pretty sure he'd kill someone who didn't treat you well."

"He wouldn't kill his own sisters, Lex," Merediht rolled her eyes.

"And his sisters won't hate you. You make Hannah and him happy."

"I know I do," Meredith sighed. "I just...this is huge."

"Huge in a good way."

"I guess."

"Mer, meeting the family is good."

"Yeah, it's great," Meredith sighed. "It's great and I'll be fine and I definitely should talk to Cristina instead of you about this. You're too...you."

"Oh don't talk to Cristina," Lexie groaned. "She's kind of toxic to normal relationships, Mer."

"Yeah but she gets the whole family is insanely crazy thing."

"And she'd convince you not to go. Which wouldn't be good."

"I know it wouldn't be good. Derek would be pissed at me. And Derek being pissed...not good."

"And you have to meet them eventually," Lexie shrugged.

"I know I do. I just...Mark's wedding would work."

"That would be hard," Lexie pointed out. "There'll be lots of family around, extended family and stuff."

"Ex...there's more family?" Meredith's head snapped up, her eyes wide.

"Usually, yes," Lexie laughed.

"Oh god," Meredith groaned.

"Meredith, most people have aunts and uncles and cousins."

"Most people. Not all people. Why did I have to fall in love with the guy whose family is half the earth's population?"

"Because God knew you needed more of one?"

"More of what? A family?"

"Yeah," Lexie nodded.

"That's...that's lame, Lexie. Entirely lame and cheesy and...his wedding is in a month. A month and I have to meet more family?"

"Yes, you have to meet more," Lexie nodded. "Has Derek mentioned any uncle or aunts or cousins?"

"I...I don't know. Probably. He probably has hundreds."

"Well I doubt there'll be hundreds at the wedding."

"Great," Meredith rolled her eyes. "I should have dated someone like Alex who has no family. You're lucky. No family to worry about."

"Alex can barely be considered lucky, Mer," Lexie murmured.

"What do you mean?" Meredith frowned as they walked out of the elevator towards Derek's office.

"His lack of a family was a lot worse than yours, that's all," Lexie shrugged.
:
"So you and Alex..." Meredith sighed. She was disturbed by Alex and Lexie together. It was weird. It was strange. And he was...Alex. But she figured she was supposed to ask at this point. "Are you guys...I mean..."

"Kind of. Unofficially," Lexie nodded.

"Unofficially meaning..."

"We're....sleeping together," Lexie mumbled.

"Like...me and Derek sleeping together casually or...dating sleeping together?"

"Because you and Derek were so casual," Lexie rolled her eyes. "And umm...dating, I think. Maybe."

"Derek and I were casual. That's how we started. Casually," Meredith sighed. "And that's...dating. That's great, Lex."

"It is," Lexie grinned. "And it wasn't casual with you two, never was."

"Yes it was," Meredith insisted. "Entirely casual."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Okay, if that's what you want to believe."

"It was," Meredith nodded firmly. "Entirely casual and...and now we're us and I'm meeting his family. And you're dating Evil Spawn."

"He's not Evil Spawn," Lexie giggled.

"He gave George the syph."

"Indirectly."

"The syph, Lex."

"Meredith, STDs don't make people evil."

"Yes, you're saying that now," Meredith giggled as they reached Derek's office.

"He's clean, Mer," Lexie laughed.

"You got him tested, right?" Meredith smiled, knocking on the door, her hand already on the knob.

"Did you get Derek tested?"

"Derek was a single dad. I didn't need to get him tested. He's not going around starting syph epidemics."

"It was last year, Mer," Lexie sighed. "He's careful."

"I mean, not even Mark started syph epidemics," Meredith giggled as she walked into Derek's office, smiling at her boyfriend who was checking his e-mail.

"Why are we talking about Mark and syph?" Derek asked, not looking up from his computer screen.

"We aren't talking about anything," Meredith giggled. "Lexie and I are talking about her boyfriend and his syph epidemics."

"Boyfriend?" Derek frowned.

"Yes, Lexie is kind of sort of maybe unofficially dating Alex. Casually."

"Oh," Derek's frown deepened.

"See, even Derek's concerned about the syph," Meredith giggled to her sister.

"Derek's just siding with you," Lexie rolled her eyes.

"No, he's worried about the syph."

"Alex doesn't have the syph," Lexie groaned.

"Fine, he doesn't have the syph," Meredith sighed, running her fingers through Derek's hair.

"Hmm..." Derek smiled at her. "Why exactly do I have the two Grey women in my office?"

"We're both assigned to your service."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously," Meredith giggled.

"How did that even happen?" he asked.

"Cristina probably thought it would be funny," Meredith sighed.

"She's your friend," Derek laughed as he got out of his chair and kissed Meredith quickly.

"Doesn't mean she's not insane," Meredith murmured.

"I know," he sighed.

"So yeah, the Grey sisters. At your service."

"Vaguely dirty," Derek smirked.

"That's...that's gross, Derek."

"Sorry," Derek sighed. "Planning a bachelor party can do that to a man."

"I don't even want to know," Meredith shook her head, leaning into his chest.

"You really don't," he sighed, hugging her tightly for a second. "So...patient?"

"Dr. Grey, tell Dr. Shepherd about our patient," Meredith said.

"Ben Porter, 18 year old male. Had a seizure while driving to school today causing a minor car accident. No injuries but no known cause of the seizure," Lexie nodded.

"Get him an MRI," Meredith nodded. "And a CBC. Page me when you have the results."

"Okay, Dr. Grey," Lexie nodded.

"And a tox screen," Meredith added.

"Tox screen?" Lexie frowned.

"See if he's on any drugs," Derek nodded. "Doesn't hurt to check."

"Oh..okay," Lexie nodded. "Can do."

"Thanks, Dr. Grey," Meredith nodded as Lexie left the room.

"I like when you sound professional," Derek grinned.

"You are incredibly dirty," Meredith shook her head, leaning into his chest again.

"Mer, I've been thinking of strippers for most of the morning."

"Strippers? All morning?"

"Mark's never talking to me again if there's no strippers at his bachelor party."

"That could actually benefit you," she giggled and then kissed him. "So in a couple weeks, you'll be spending your night with Mark and strippers?"

"I will be," he nodded. "Jealous?"

"Oh I'm entirely jealous of Candy and Cookie and Cherry."

"Thought so," he smiled. "If you have Hannah asleep by the time I get home you could greatly benefit from my night at a strip club."

"I'll see what I can do," she grinned.

"Good," he smiled, kissing her quickly.

"You know, Der...your mom called this morning while you were in the shower..."

"Did she?"

"She did. And um...one of your sisters had...something and they can't do the big supper until, um...later."

"You're cute," he smirked.

"Cute?"

"Lying to try to get out of it."

"I'm not lying. So much as...pretending."

"Still...cute," he grinned.

"Fine," she sighed. "Your mom didn't call and it's still on and I'm meeting your family. Unless something hugely tragic happens."

"You need to stop being so dramatic."

"I'm not being dramatic."

"Of course not," he rolled his eyes.

"I'm not."

"Mer, we're going. You'll be fine. You might even have fun."

"Fun. Okay," she sighed, kissing him quickly. "I think I'm running a fever. Might be...the plague or something."

"Okay," he nodded. "I guess I have to get you for tests. Tests that involve painful needles."

"I'm a doctor. I'm self-diagnosing. It's the plague."

"You're not allowed to self-diagnose," he sighed. "And if you have it Hannah and I have it. And Hannah went to my Mom yesterday so my mom has it. You already infected my family."

"I hate you," she sighed, looking down at her beeping pager.

"Sure you do," he nodded.

"I do," she nodded. "And I have to go. I'll see you in a bit when Lexie has the results."

"Page me," he nodded, kissing her quickly. "Love you."

"Love you too," she said as she turned and walked out of his office. Family. She was meeting his family. And Lexie was probably right. She'd be okay. It wouldn't be that bad. This was a good thing. She just wished it felt like a good thing.
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oncetherewasaway Dec 27 2007, 01:47 PM Post #11
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McEditor

 Disclaimer: Apparently the reason Mer and Der suck on communication on the show because writers in general have bad communication skills. And so do the production companies. Because if they didn't they'd have fixed this by now. Stupid people. We don't own the show as we're not stupid.

Meredith cuddled underneath the seven extra blankets she had just thrown on the bed, pulling Derek's sweater on over her three long-sleeved t-shirts. She had to be warm. All of her last efforts had failed entirely and now it was time to actually feel sick. She had tried a headache but Derek had put two Advil down on the bedside table, along with a bottle of water. So now it was last ditch effort time.

This one had to work. She'd have a temperature or appear to have one and he would give her that concerned caring look and let her stay home and do nothing but sleep. Not that she really needed sleep but it beat the alternative. So this was it. This had to work because the idea of actually going with him made her feel sick. Which was bad. And she couldn't back out, he'd be mad. This way he would just be worried.

She had turned the heat up a little, not enough for him to actually notice, but just enough to make the fact that she was under seven blankets and wearing three long sleeved t-shirts and a sweater entirely unbearable. This was going to work. It had to work. Of course, he'd make her take her temperature, and that was easy enough. She grabbed the thermometer and held it against the lamp.

She hadn't done this since she was little. But it had always worked on her nannies so it had to work on Derek. He was a smart doctor person but if she acted sick enough she could only hope that he'd be too concerned. And they could stay home. She'd have to act sick for the rest of the night but that was okay. He'd probably put Hannah to bed and then come cuddle with her. That would be good.

She practiced her cough a couple times, it sounded real enough. She was going with a severe cold, or upper respiratory infection. Or maybe she'd just let him diagnose her, as all of her other attempts to act like she had something had failed. So she would have a temp. She would give the thermometer a couple seconds to heat up and then she'd call his name miserably.

"Mer..." his voice interrupted her thoughts as the door suddenly opened. And then his laughter filled the room.

"Der," she gasped and then tried to tuck the thermometer into her mouth. "I'm...ow...shit…"

"What...Mer....you...." he gasped, as he bent over, laughing hard.

"Shut up," she groaned, holding her burning tongue. "I'm sick."

"You're not sick," he laughed.

"I am," she nodded quickly. "Really...hear my cough..."

"I should be mad, you know that?" he sighed, walking toward the bed.

"No you shouldn't," she shook her head. "You can't be mad at sick people. And I have a temp. See?" She held up the thermometer.

"I think that's the lamp that has a temp," he laughed softly.

"Shut up," she groaned.

"Mer, it's not going to be that bad," he sighed, running a hand over her hair.

"Der..." she sighed. "I really am running a fever and...I mean, I'm sweating."

"Which happens when someone hides under seven blankets."

"This used to work when I was little," she groaned, throwing the blankets off her body.

"I think you're adorable, if that helps," he shrugged.

"I wasn't going for adorable."

"Well you are," he smiled, sitting on the bed. "Come here.'

"I'm sorry," she sighed, moving into his arms. "I just...I can't do this. And I don't want you to get angry or pissed or...I just can't."

"Oh Mer..." he whispered, squeezing her tightly. "I'm not angry but you can do this."

"I know you think I can...but I really can't. You have a huge family. And all of them are going to be there and they're going to ask things and want to know things and...I really can't."

"Shhh..." he murmured. "You know how many things I've seen you do that you swore you couldn't?"

"No."

"Lots," he whispered. "You're amazing and you can do this. I swear you can."

"So I really have to go?" she breathed, leaning into him.

"You really have to go," he nodded. "And you can stay glued to my side."

"What if they try to kill me?"

"I'll protect you," he laughed softly. "Promise."

"Okay," she sighed. "What...I mean, do I dress up?"

"Definitely not," he shook his head. "Jeans and a sweater are fine. Wear the purple one."

"Why the purple one?"

"You look good in it."

"Okay," she nodded, getting up and pulling off Derek's sweater and the t-shirts.

"Seriously?" he laughed.

"What?" she smiled slightly, pulling her purple sweater on.

"Nothing," he shook his head. "Just...never ever let Hannah in on your secrets."

"My nannies bought it," she shrugged.

"I'm glad they did. I didn't and my daughter doesn't need to try it."

"You would have bought it if you hadn't walked in."

"I highly doubt I would have."

"You definitely would have," she nodded firmly, running her brush through her hair.

"Yeah yeah," he sighed. "You will be okay, Mer."

"You keep saying that," she sighed.

"Because it's true."

"You know Mark followed me around yesterday giving me tips?"

"Oh god," Derek groaned. "What kind of tips?"

"Just...stuff about your sisters. Avoiding Nancy at all costs?"

"Oh yeah...Nancy. She can be tricky but...she's not evil."

"Are you sure? Mark...Mark made her sound like the anti-Christ or something."

"Mark is Mark."

"And apparently I shouldn't even talk when Kathleen is around. She's the therapist, right?"

"She is and Kathleen is great, Mer. She won't go all therapist on you right away."

"Right away? Later? Later she'll on therapist on me?"

"She might," he sighed. "But she does it because she cares."

"So she'll tell me about my severe abandonment issues and commitment phobia and everything else?"

"I don't think you have commitment phobia, Mer."

"Okay, well...I did. Once."

"Yes, and not anymore. Relax."

"I'm relaxed," she nodded. "I'm completely relaxed. I'm fine. Nauseous. But fine."

"It will be fine," he sighed, walking up behind her and rubbing her arms.

"I know," she murmured, leaning back against him.

"I'll be right there. And we can leave whenever you need to."

"Okay."

"They're not that bad, Mer."

"Daddy?" Hannah came into the room. "You said it was time to go."

"It is," he nodded. "Meredith's just finishing getting ready."

"I'm ready," Meredith sighed. "Or...yeah, I'm ready."

"You're ready," Derek nodded, grabbing her hand. "Come on, let's go."

"Nana's house is lots of fun, Meredith," Hannah said as she ran ahead of them.

"I'm sure it is," Meredith sighed.

"Lots and lots of fun," Hannah nodded. "And I get to see my cousins!"

"You'll have a good time, Mer," Derek sighed as he locked the door behind them.

"I guess," she sighed, turning to Hannah. "Hey, Han, are you feeling okay?"

"Meredith, she's fine. We're going," Derek groaned.

"I'm just checking," Meredith said quickly. "Because, Han, I'm sure for five dollars, you're feeling a little, sick?"

"Meredith Grey, you are not bribing my daughter to fake illness."

"I'm not bribing her. I'm...I'm concerned for her health."

"For five dollars?"

"Is that too low?"

"Meredith...car...now," Derek groaned, pointing to the car.

"Fine," Meredith sighed, stomping to the car and getting in.

"Sorry, Han...Mer's a little nervous," Derek sighed.

"Why?" Hannah asked, walking to the car.

"Because it's a lot of people."

"But it's fun," Hannah grinned. "Daddy! You know what you should do to make her feel better!"

"What?" Derek asked as he led her toward the car.

"Give her her ring," Hannah whispered loudly.

"Hannah...shhh..." Derek sighed. "And no, I'm pretty sure that would just...not right now. But good idea."

"Okay," Hannah sighed, getting into the car and buckling her seatbelt as Derek got in beside Meredith.

"Still breathing?" Derek asked Meredith.

"I'm fine," she snapped slightly.

"Mer...relax," Derek murmured as he started the car.

"I know, I'm sorry," she sighed. "I am. Just...who is everyone again?"

"Okay...I have four sisters," Derek sighed. "Kathleen is the oldest. And then Nancy. Colleen and Sophie are younger than me."

"And Kathleen is a shrink, Nancy is OB, Colleen is general and Sophie is...?"

"Pediatrician. And my favourite."

"Okay," Meredith sighed. "And Kathleen's married to Ethan. Nancy's married to Peter, Sophie's married to Brian and then Colleen..."

"Uncle Marty," Hannah cut in.

"Uncle Marty," Meredith repeated.

"And then there's the nieces and nephews," Derek sighed.

"Nine nieces, five nephews," Meredith murmured, reaching for his hand and squeezing it tightly.

"Exactly," he nodded.

"Lindsey's seven like me!" Hannah announced.

"And she belongs to..." Meredith trailed off.

"Colleen," Derek smiled. "She has Thomas, Kendra, Lindsey, and Amber."

"Thomas is really mean. You don't have to talk to him, Meredith," Hannah sighed.

"Hannah," Derek shook his head. "That's not nice."

"But it's true. He hid that frog in my bag last time I saw him."

"That is pretty mean, Der," Meredith nodded.

"He's a thirteen year old boy," Derek laughed. "You don't want to know the things that Mark and I did at that age."

"Probably not," Meredith sighed. "Okay. Kathleen's the one with the twins right?"

"Yes," Derek nodded. "Michael and Kevin are the twins. And she has Audrey and Morgan too."

"Audrey's in college," Hannah reported.

"Yes, she is," Derek agreed.

"And Aunt Sophie has a baby named Cameron."

"Along with Jared and Chelsea," Derek nodded.

"So that leaves Nancy and Peter,” Meredith stated.

"With Charlotte, Megan and Becky."

"Okay," Meredith murmured.

"You won't be expected to remember that all," Derek smiled. "No tests."

"Well, that's good," she nodded. "But they'll like me more if I remember. Do you think Addison remembered?"

"I doubt it. Mark doesn't half the time."

"Seriously?" Meredith giggled.

"Seriously," Derek laughed. "Actually...we all have our moments of looking at someone and trying to remember who they belong to."

"It's a lot of kids," she murmured.

"It is," he nodded. "My family is big on kids."

"Right," Meredith took a shaky breath.

"I'm not. Family is...me...I'm good with Han."

"Oh...really?" Meredith turned to look at him.

"Yeah," he nodded. "If...I mean, it's something we need to talk about...but I don't think I want four."

"Okay," she nodded. "Good."

"Good," he grinned.

"Okay, so...this will be okay," Meredith sighed. "It's family and it's big and it's scary and kind of huge but...I'll be okay. Unless you're feeling sick, Han?"

"Hannah isn't feeling sick," Derek sighed.

"She could be," Meredith whispered, turning to look at Hannah. "Ten dollars, Han."

"Daddy, she's doing it again," Hannah sighed.

"Tattle tale," Meredith groaned.

"Meredith, I'm right here. She's not a tattle tale."

"Yeah, I'm not a tattle tale," Hannah insisted.

"You're just being silly," Derek laughed.

"Derek, not the time to make fun of me."

"Sorry," he murmured. "Mer...you'll be fine, I swear."

"Okay," she murmured.

"You'll love them," he nodded. "Especially Sophie and Kath. And the kids are great...they're all over the place in ages and just...great."

"Great," she nodded as they pulled up to the house. "They're great. And this is great. I'll be...great. Or fine or...we're here. This is it, isn't it?"

"It is," he nodded. "You need to breathe."

"I'm breathing," she whispered.

"No, you're not," he sighed, leaning over closer to her. "Look at me."

"Hmmm?" she turned to him, her eyes wide.

"I love you. I love you more than anything and I will always love you. No matter what happens today. It will be good, I know but no matter what. I'm here with you. I love you."

"I love you too," she whispered, grasping his hand and squeezing it tightly.

"And that's all that matters."

"I love you too, Meredith!" Hannah grinned from the backseat, unbuckling her seatbelt and climbing to the front to hug Meredith tightly.

"I love you too, Han," Meredith laughed gently as she hugged her tightly.

"It's going to be okay," Derek whispered, running his hand over her hair. "Are you ready to go?"

"I...yeah, I think so," Meredith murmured. "I guess...maybe."

"I'm here, Mer," he promised. "I'm not leaving your side."

"I know," Meredith breathed. "I know."

"Come on, Meredith," Hannah grinned as she clambered out of the car.

"We can do this," Derek smiled, climbing out of his side and running over to Meredith's.

"We can do this," Meredith whispered as he opened the car door.

"Take my hand," he murmured.

"What?" she breathed, turning to look at him.

"Take my hand."

"Okay," she whispered, grabbing his hand tightly.

"Not letting go unless you want me too," he smiled.

"Thank you," she smiled, kissing him lightly.

"Thank you for doing this," he whispered. "I know you wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't for me, so thank you."

"I can do this," she nodded, leaning into him as he led her up to the front door. "I can do this."

"You can," he nodded.

"Okay," she took a deep breath. "Ready."

"Good," he smiled, squeezing her hand again as Hannah rang the doorbell.

Meredith took a deep breath and squeezed his hand tighter, fighting off the urge to run back to the car and hyperventilate. Or vomit. Whichever one came first. She could do this. They would be okay. She would be okay. She winced slightly as she heard running on the other side of the door and then took another deep breath as the door swung open. She could do this.

I am a good person
I'm an attractive person
I am a talented person
Grant me Grace!



Disclaimer: Alicia and Katie are not members of the WGA. We dream to be one day....but at the moment we're not. And we're taking this time to say we are not striking. Nor do we plan on striking. And yes...it's official... http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21570821/

Derek watched as the door opened and hoped that Meredith hadn't been able to hear his heart pounding in his chest. She hadn't noticed it in the car. Her nerves were apparently overriding her ability to notice his own fear which was good. Not that she was nervous, not that she was actually terrified but at least she didn't know that he was nearly as terrified as she was. She didn't need to know that.

"Uncle Derek! Hannah!" nineteen year old Audrey exclaimed.

"Audrey, hi," Derek smiled at his oldest neice.

"You're late," she said, hugging him tightly before hugging Hannah and then standing up, looking at Meredith. "Hi, I'm Audrey."

"I'm...uhh...Meredith," Meredith said quietly.

"Audrey, who's at the door?" Kathleen came forward. "Derek! Hannah!"

"Kath," Derek smiled widely.

"Come on in," Kathleen stepped aside. "Mom's in the kitchen threatening to kill you for being late."

"Sorry," Derek shrugged. "Had....Kathleen, this is my girlfriend Meredith. Meredith, this is my big sister Kathleen."

"Hey," Kathleen smiled, holding out her hand. "Whatever Derek or Mark has told you about me is entirely untrue. Unless they said good things."

"Oh...umm...he didn't," Meredith shook her head. "But good things...he said good things."

"Good," Kathleen grinned. "And how are you, Hannah Banana?"

"I'm great, Aunt Kath," Hannah grinned.

"Lindsey, Jared, and Kendra are in the back," Kathleen said. "Why don't you go out there and see what they're doing?"

"Cool," Hannah smiled before looking at Meredith. "You okay, Meredith?"

"Yeah...I...I'm good, Han," Meredith nodded quickly, squeezing Derek's hand.

"Good," Hannah nodded before running outside.

"Woah, slow down, Han," Sophie laughed as she came into the foyer, a chubby baby boy on her hip. "Hey, Der."

"Hey Sophie," Derek smiled, hugging her tightly with his free arm. "Sophie...this is Meredith. Meredith...Sophie."

"You brought a girl to the insanity, Der?" Sophie grinned widely. "It's great to meet you, Meredith."

"You too," Meredith nodded quickly.

"And this is Cameron," Sophie grinned, bouncing the baby slightly.

"Hi Cameron," Meredith grinned.

"Cam, say hi to Auntie Meredith," Sophie smiled to the baby and then looked up. "Sorry, you're probably freaking out enough as it is. But I figure if Der's bringing you home, and you're actually here, you're in it for the long run."

"I'm not...I'm not freaking out," Meredith shook her head quickly.

"You are," Sophie grinned. "Totally normal. I thought Brian was going to have a seizure when I brought him home."

"Mark and I had him shaking," Derek laughed.

"But I was good by the end of it," Brian chuckled as he walked up to them, throwing his arm around Sophie. "Hi, I'm Brian. Sophie's other half."

"Meredith," Meredith sighed. "Derek's...umm...other half."

"And probably better," Sophie giggled.

"I let her think that," Derek laughed.

"It's probably true," Brian winked at Meredith. "Come on, Shep, ready for a beer before dealing with Mom?"

"Definitely," Derek nodded. "Want anything, Mer?"

"I...um...beer is....yeah, beer," she murmured, squeezing his hand tightly.

"Okay," Derek smiled. "Come to the kitchen with me. I can guarantee Mom is there, and Mark is there eating."

"And everyone else," Sophie warned. "Apparently, in this family when you reach the age of thirteen, you're too cool to go out back and play or watch Disney movies with Amber and Chelsea."

"You ready for it?" Derek asked Meredith gently.

"I...yeah," she nodded. "Yeah. I'm...I mean, everybody is Nancy and Colleen and then...um...kids. Teenagers. Kids."

"It'll be okay," Derek murmured, kissing her quickly.

"I know," she nodded. "I...okay."

"Love you," he whispered.

"Love you too," she murmured as he led her back towards the kitchen, where there was a lot of loud talking and laughing.

"Hey guys," Derek smiled as he walked in.

"You're late, Derek Shepherd," Mrs. Shepherd shook her head as she put a plate of chips and dip on the counter where his older nieces and nephews all stood.

"Sorry, Mom," Derek sighed. "I had a phone call to deal with."

"Of course you did," she smiled, kissing his cheek quickly and then hugging Meredith. "Breathe, dear, they're not that scary."

"Oh umm...I'm breathing," Meredith murmured.

"Barely," Mrs. Shepherd shook her head. "Derek, why don't you introduce her at once now so we're not doing a thousand introductions before supper."

"Good idea," Derek nodded. "Everyone...this is Meredith. Meredith, this is everyone."

"Derek's lusty intern," Mark smirked and then wincing as Addison hit his arm. "Hey! What was that for?"

"For being an idiot," Derek answered for Addison. "You can keep your mouth shut."

"Lusty intern?" Nancy raised an eyebrow.

"Ignore him," Derek sighed. "She's not even an intern."

"She was when they met though," Mark laughed ducking from another blow from Addison.

"Mark...you're not helping," Derek sighed.

"Don't worry, Der, we've all learned by now to ignore Mark," Colleen grinned, stepping forward to shake Meredith's hand. "It's great to meet you. I'm Colleen."

"Oh...you too, great," Meredith nodded.

"And the one with the sour look on her face is Nancy," Sophie laughed. "And then two teenage guys, the ones who look like they have something up their sleeves, they're about to tell you they're someone other than who they are. So the one on the left is Kevin, on the right is Michael."

"Okay," Meredith sighed. "Thanks, Sophie."

"Man, Aunt Soph, you ruin all our fun," Michael groaned.

"Yeah, I know," Sophie rolled her eyes. "She doesn't need you two giving her headaches today."

"Yes, that's the last thing anyone needs right now," Mrs. Shepherd said. "I need some table setters."

"I'll do it, Grandma," Charlotte offered.

"Thank you, Charlotte," Mrs. Shepherd smiled. "Michael, Kevin, go get the kids. Megan, why don't you set up the kids table?"

"Okay Grandma," Megan nodded.

"Don't worry," Kathleen leaned over to Meredith. "You don't actually have to remember all the names right now. Or even who they belong to. Mark's known them their entire life and he has no idea."

"That's what Derek said," Meredith giggled slightly.

"I know who they are," Mark frowned, handing Derek a beer. "There's Kathleen's midget brigade, Nancy's midget brigade, Colleen's midget brigade, and then Sophie's midget brigade."

"Exactly," Sophie rolled her eyes.

"It's not my fault the Shepherds have made baby making into a sport," Mark rolled his eyes.

"You'll be the next one with a brigade," Colleen pointed out.

"Says who?" Mark shot back.

"You're a Shepherd and you're getting married," Colleen shrugged.

"That doesn't mean we're going to add another fifty kids to the planet," Mark shrugged. "I can't even keep track of the nieces and nephews. How the hell am I supposed to remember a whole army of kids?"

"Oh you are definitely not getting an army of kids," Addison shook her head.

"Thank you," Mark grinned, kissing her quickly.

"So Meredith...you were an intern when you and Derek met?" Kathleen asked.

"Oh...um...yeah," Meredith nodded quickly, squeezing Derek's hand. "I uh...an intern. Now I'm a resident. Second year resident. So...but yeah, I was an intern. His intern kind of and...but now I'm a resident."

"Do you know what you want to specialize in?" Nancy asked.

"Probably neuro," Meredith smiled slightly. "It's...it's what I'm best at and I got a lot of training and I really really like neuro. A lot. It's...it's tough and there are brains and spines and...it's tough. It's a tough field and...probably neuro."

"She's amazing at it," Derek smiled proudly.

"He always says that," Meredith rolled her eyes.

"Because it's true," Derek sighed, ducking his head down to kiss her quickly.

"I had a good teacher," she murmured against his lips. "But don't tell him that."

"I'll keep it a secret," he whispered.

"Thank you," she giggled, kissing him quickly again.

"You're welcome," he sighed, slipping his hand out of hers as he pulled away, but immediately snaking the arm around her waist.

"So how did you two meet?" Nancy asked. "I mean, isn't it a little inappropriate for an attending an intern to have a relationship?"

"We met at the intern mixer," Derek sighed. "And we took our time, we've been careful about things. And Webber has known about it the whole time."

"And he's been supportive of it?" Nancy raised an eyebrow. "Couldn't that be a conflict of interest at work when you're her boss and her boyfriend?"

"We keep them seperate," Derek shrugged. "At work I'm just her boss."

Nancy opened her mouth to say something and Peter put his arm around her. "Nance, babe, I think that's enough, okay?"

"Hannah seems to really like you, Meredith," Kathleen smiled.

"Oh," Meredith smiled widely. "Yeah and um...she's great. I really...she's...I'm apparently her bestest friend in the whole world or something, which is great. Because she's amazing and really smart and...I'm her friend."

"Hannah adores her," Derek smiled.

"I love her too," Meredith said softly, watching as Michael and Kevin came in with some more screaming Shepherd kids, Hannah slung over Michael's shoulder.

"Speaking of the devil," Derek laughed.

"Put me down, Mikey!" Hannah giggled. "Put me down!"

"You said the only way you were coming inside is if I made you, so I made you," Michael laughed.

"Put me down," she insisted, giggling as he reached up and tickled her sides. "Please, please!"

"Fine," Michael sighed, placing her on the ground.

"Thank you," she grinned. "Will you sit by me?"

"Of course," Michael nodded.

"Good," she smiled and then ran over to Meredith, throwing her arms around Meredith's waist. "You okay, Meredith?"

"I'm good, Hannah," Meredith murmured, running her fingers through Hannah's hair. "Are you being good with your cousins?"

"Yeah!" Hannah nodded. "Mikey's gonna sit by me at dinner and Lindsey's gonna sit on my other side."

"Very cool," Meredith grinned.

"Okay, everyone, supper time," Mrs. Shepherd said, "Audrey, Charlotte, kids table or adult table this year?"

"Adults, please let me sit with the adults," Audrey groaned.

"Audrey's too cool to sit with the midgets," Kevin smirked at his sister. "College has made her such a hard ass."

"Kevin, watch that mouth," Mrs. Shepherd warned her grandson.

"Sorry, Grandma," Kevin sighed.

"I think someone has been spending too much time with Uncle Mark," Kathleen sighed, looking at her son.

"Hey, don't blame me," Mark frowned. "Shep screwed with Kevin. Or did Shep screw with Michael?"

"I didn't screw with either of them," Derek frowned. "I'm the good uncle."

"Yeah, you're the good uncle," Michael laughed. "Uncle Mark's the cool uncle with the hot chicks."

"Who is getting married so there goes that title," Ethan laughed.

"Which leaves Derek as the lone bachelor," Marty raised his beer in Derek's direction. "You're an inspiration, Shep."

"I know," Derek laughed.

"Unless he gets married," Sophie grinned. "Any plans to get married, Derek? I mean, you brought her home. You haven't brought anyone home since...Candace?"

"Future plans," Derek sighed, feeling Meredith's body tense against his. "We're good with what we have right now. But definitely future plans."

"Me and Daddy bought---" Derek grabbed Hannah's shoulder with his free hand, squeezing gently. "We bought me new ballet shoes," she finished quickly.

"Oh," Sophie smiled, giving Derek a suspicious look. "That's great, Hannah."

"Everyone to their respective tables," Mrs. Shepherd announced. "We can continue this conversation over supper. Charlotte, dear, do you mind sitting with the kids to make sure your cousins don't entirely corrupt the younger ones?"

"Fine," Charlotte sighed. "But Audrey has to do it next time."

"We'll talk about that next time," Mrs. Shepherd nodded. "Everyone. Table. Now."

"Going Mom," Derek sighed as he grabbed Meredith's hand again, dragging her behind him.

"So there are separate tables?" Meredith whispered as she sat down next to Derek.

"Yep," he murmured. "One for the kids and one for the adults."

"What's the age cut off?" she asked, watching as everyone took their seats.

"Still being defined," he sighed. "Audrey is finally battling for adult table rights at 19."

"Oh," she nodded.

"You okay?" he whispered.

"Yeah," she sighed, squeezing his hand. "It's just...a lot of people. And Nancy..."

"She'll grow on you," he murmured. "And I'm right here."

"I know," she breathed, kissing him quickly. "I'm okay, Derek. I really am."

"Good," he smiled softly. "Love you."

"Love you too."

"Do you two usually kiss all the time?" Kathleen asked, lauging softly.

"What?" Meredith blushed slightly.

"Every time I look at you you're kissing and whispering to each other," Kathleen shrugged. "It's cute."

"It is cute," Sophie grinned as she put Cameron in his high chair. "It's actually adorable."

"It's sickening," Mark frowned.

"Shut up, Mark," Sophie shook her head. "It's adorable. They're obviously really in love and happy."

"We are," Derek nodded firmly.

"So...cute," Sophie nodded. "I can't even remember the last time Brian and I were like that."

"Hey...we're like that all the time," Brian frowned.

"Oh we are?" she teased. "When was the last time we were all kissy and whispery to each other?"

"Well before Cameron was born," Brian sighed. "But once he's older we'll get back to that.”

"Such a romantic," Sophie rolled her eyes.

"You love me," Brian laughed.

"I do," she giggled, squeezing his hand.

"You can't live in the honeymoon stage forever," Nancy shrugged.

"They're not in the honeymoon stage," Colleen pointed out. "They're in the first year or two of a relationship stage. When everything's easy and cute and adorable."

"Or maybe they're just easy and cute and adorable," Sophie shrugged. "We always said Derek would be like this if he ever found the right woman."

"And she's the right woman?" Nancy asked Derek.

"Definitely," Derek grinned.

"Then why all the secrets, Der?" Colleen asked. "How long have you two been dating?"

"Over a year," Derek replied quietly.

"Over...you've been dating over a year?" Sophie gasped.

"Yeah," Derek nodded slowly.

"And you've been hiding her because..."

"I haven't been hiding her," Derek sighed. "We had a rocky start and we were taking time to get used to everything, for Hannah to get used to things."

"A rocky start," Mark smirked.

"Shut up," Derek groaned.

"We didn't...I didn't...we had things to get used to," Meredith said softly. "I had things to get used to because he had a kid which he didn't actually tell me at first which was incredibly awkward when I found out so there was that to get used to and the whole dating thing period because I don't usually date or do relationships or familes or anything. So I had to get used to that and...and it was big and scary. So yeah...things to get used to."

"It makes sense," Kathleen nodded. "With everything the three of you had to adjust to, it's no wonder you left this part out."

"Woah wait," Colleen frowned, "Der didn't tell you about Han?"

"No...umm...not right away," Meredith sighed. "He was going to...I just...happened to meet her first."

"After she escaped from daycare?" Sophie laughed.

"Yeah," Meredith giggled. "She found me by accident and I had no idea who she was."

"And then you probably saw them together and it clicked," Sophie grinned. "They look exactly alike. Except her nose. And the shape of her lips."

"They do," Meredith nodded. "And Han...she didn't know that we knew each other. I was her new friend so she...introduced us."

"That's adorable," Kathleen smiled softly.

"It was," Derek nodded.

"Of course this explains all of Hannah's behavior problems the last year or so," Kathleen pointed out. "You could have told me, Der."

"I know," Derek nodded. "I was tempted to a lot...when the temper tantrums were really bad."

"She's doing better now though?"

"She is," Derek smiled. "Things have been a lot smoother recently. We still have tiny problems but she's happy."

"Are you guys planning on moving in together?" Colleen asked.

"Well...umm...we do," Derek mumbled under his breath.

"You live together!" all four of the Shepherd sisters exclaimed.

"Yeah," Derek shrugged.

"Mom, did you know about this?" Nancy turned to their mother.

"I did," Mrs. Shepherd nodded slowly.

"Okay, Mom knew about you guys living together but we didn't?" Sophie groaned. "Thanks, Der. Really. And I'm supposed to be your favorite."

"You are, Soph," Derek sighed. "We didn't actually plan on telling Mom either...she showed up one day while I was out doing groceries."

"I thought she was the babysitter," Mrs. Shepherd laughed.

"Were you ever going to tell anyone if Mom hadn't found out?" Colleen frowned.

"Mom found out before Christmas," Derek sighed. "Even if she hadn't, then this would be the first time she was meeting Mer too."

"Mark knew though," Sophie pointed out.

"I lived at his place, Soph," Mark countered. "And you should have seen him when they first met. A complete chick."

"I wasn't a complete chick," Derek rolled his eyes.

"You were. Probably didn't help she didn't want anything to do with you," Mark shrugged.

"She did," Derek sighed. "She just wasn't admitting it."

"How do you know?" Meredith asked. "You were my boss."

"The way you looked at me. You clearly wanted something to do with me," he smirked.

"Okay. That wasn't me wanting to date you that was..." Meredith trailed off, fumbling with her napkin.

"I know what it was," the smirk deepened.

"Derek!" she gasped.

"Just saying," he shrugged.

"I have a feeling we're missing something," Sophie sighed.

"You definitely are," Mark nodded.

"Mark!" Meredith rolled her eyes.

"Yeah yeah," Mark sighed. "Not saying anything."

"Say something," Colleen ordered.

"He has nothing to say," Derek shook his head. "Mer and I had an interesting start, that's all."

"Okay, I'm dropping it for now," Colleen sighed. "I'm just happy you're happy, Der."

"Thanks, Col," Derek smiled.

"Yeah, you guys are very cute together," Sophie grinned. "I'd even go with perfect."

"I know," Derek's smile deepened as he squeezed Meredith's hand.

"Welcome to the family, Meredith," Kathleen smiled.

"Oh...umm....thanks," Meredith smiled slightly.

"I know it's terrifying," Sophie laughed. "But you'll be okay. Being a Shepherd involves shopping a lot."

"Shopping is good," Meredith nodded.

"Definitely," Kathleen laughed. "Sophie and I were going in a couple of days. You should join us, Meredith."

"Oh...ummm...okay," Meredith smiled.

"Great," Kathleen nodded and then turned to her daughter. "So now that we've harassed Derek and Meredith enough, why don't we harass someone else. Audrey, why don't you tell everyone what you finally decided to major in?"

"Do I have to, Mom?" Audrey frowned.

"Yeah, I think you do," Kathleen nodded.

"Fine," Audrey rolled her eyes. "I'm going pre-med. Just like everyone else in this freakish family."

"And you swore you wouldn't go premed," Nancy laughed.

"Yeah I know," Audrey groaned.

"You're a Shepherd, you can't resist the medicine," Colleen nodded as Meredith leaned into Derek.

"Apparently not," Audrey sighed.

"You okay?" Derek whispered to Meredith.

"Yeah...I am," Meredith nodded.

"You are?" he grinned, finally feeling himself relax.

'Yeah, I am," she murmured. "This is...nice."

"Can I say I told you so?" he smirked slightly.

"No, definitely not," she giggled softly.

"Too bad," he smiled, ducking his head down. "They love you, Mer."

"They seem to," she nodded slowly.

"They completely do," he corrected. "Soph and Kath are taking you shopping. You're practically a Shepherd sister."

"Wow," she murmured softly.

"Wow?"

"Just... I didn't....I thought this would be...bad," she murmured.

"And it's not?"

"No, it's not."

"Good," he whispered. "Still want to be sick?"

"No, I'm good," she breathed.

He smiled at that, moving his hand out of her grasp and moving his arm around her shoulder, pressing a kiss to her temple. "Love you, Meredith."

"Love you too, Derek," she whispered.

You tide me over
With a warmth I'll not forget
But I can only
give you love
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oncetherewasaway Dec 27 2007, 01:48 PM Post #12
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McEditor

 Disclaimer: We are sitting on our bums writing. The people who actually own the show are walking back and forth...or maybe around in circles, carrying signs and yelling and stuff. We sympathize with them, we want them to get what they deserve...we're just happy we're not them.


Meredith sighed as Derek moved out of her grasp, quickly turning off the alarm clock as he got off the bed, leaning over quickly to kiss her forehead. "Der," she breathed, turning over onto her stomach.

"Morning," he murmured against her skin, running his fingers lightly through her hair. "I have to shower, go back to sleep."

"Hmmm," she sighed, stretching slightly as she hugged the pillow close to her. "Okay. Love you."

"Love you too," he whispered before he pulled away and she listened as his footsteps retreated to the bathroom.

She pulled the blankets tighter around her as she heard the shower turn on, her eyes starting to drift shut. She hated days like this. Days when he had to work and she didn't. Usually it was the other way around. But mornings like this were the worst. All she wanted to do was cuddle up next to him and sleep all morning, but he had a cordotomy at six. And it completely sucked.

It was hell falling back to sleep after he had gotten up. If he was on schedule he'd come back and cuddle for a bit before he left but that wasn't the same. He didn't get under the covers and he was always wearing jeans and a sweater. It wasn't the same as good mornings when she could just lose herself in the warmth and comfort of his arms.

And it was rare that he was actually running on time anyway. Usually he tried to get Hannah up and going before he left, which meant she would have to be up soon anyway to make sure Hannah ate breakfast and brushed her hair. And then she'd have to take Hannah to school. Which she usually loved doing, but today, she just wanted to stay cuddled in his arms.

She had no reason to want to cuddle. Things were good, things were actually amazingly great. Dinner the week before had been amazing. And then shopping with his sisters hadn't been as bad as she dreaded. Mark's bachelor party was in a couple of days. Hannah was happy. Life was good, life was great. And it would be better if she could just stay in bed with Derek all day.

She stretched again as she heard the door open slightly, wondering why in the world Hannah was up so early. The seven year was rarely up before six, and never after seven-thirty. But it was only fifteen minutes after five, and the little girl was definitely up. She sighed as she felt the bed shift slightly, and then Hannah's warm body cuddled up next to her, her arms wrapped tightly around her waist.

"Morning Hannah," Meredith murmured, kissing Hannah's forehead lightly, smiling at the familiar smell of lavender that had accompanied Hannah everywhere since she had insisted on using Meredith's conditioner. Meredith frowned lightly as she kissed Hannah's forehead again. The skin felt warm under her lips and the tiny girl was definitely emitting more body heat than she usually did.

Hannah stayed silent as she curled closer to her, wrapping her arms even tighter around her as she sniffled slightly. Meredith sat up a little, turning over to place her hand on Hannah's forehead. Definitely warm, definitely a fever. She looked down into Hannah's blue eyes, frowning when she saw that they were squeezed shut, tears streaking down her cheeks.

"Hannah, you okay?" Meredith asked quietly, running her fingers over Hannah's curls.

"I don't feel good," Hannah murmured, curling into herself.

"Oh...Hannah," Meredith sighed, hugging her tightly. "Where don't you feel good?"

"My tummy hurts," she whimpered.

"It's okay," Meredith murmured.

"I threw up," the little girl cried.

"Oh Han...shhhh...." Meredith whispered. "It's okay. You're sick but that's okay. I'm right here."

"And my head hurts real bad," Hannah buried her head against Meredith's chest, tears streaking down her cheeks.

"It's okay, Han," Meredith murmured, kissing her head gently.

"I'm gonna throw up again," Hannah whimpered, clamoring over Meredith and throwing up into the wastebasket as Derek walked in.

"Hannah? Are you sick?" Derek asked, rushing over to the bed.

"I don't feel good, Daddy," Hannah whimpered as she coughed up the last of her vomit, Meredith holding back her curls and rubbing her back soothingly.

"I can see that," Derek murmured. "It'll be okay."

"She's running a temp," Meredith whispered as Hannah lay back down next to her, throwing her arms around Meredith's neck as she cried.

"Crap," Derek sighed. "I'll call Webber and tell him I won't be in today."

"Derek, it's fine," Meredith sighed. "I've got this."

"No," Derek shook his head. "She's sick, she's going to want me home with her."

"She'll be fine. I can take care of this. You have surgeries and your budget proposal is due today."

"I know...but...I'm always home when she's sick," Derek frowned. "Webber gets it."

"If you really want to stay home, fine," Meredith sighed. "But I have this. I'll give her something for her head and some Sprite for her stomach. She'll be okay."

"I know you do," he nodded, reaching over to pull Hannah toward him.

"No," Hannah whimpered, tightening her grasp on Meredith.

"No?" Derek frowned.

"I want Meredith."

"Oh," Derek nodded slowly. "But...I can stay home if you want, Han. It's okay."

"I've got this, Derek," Meredith whispered, kissing Hannah's warm forehead.

"Okay," Derek murmured. "But if you need me, call. Even if I'm in the middle of surgery."

"Derek. I'm a doctor. She's a sick kid. I think I'll be fine."

"Meredith...call if you need me."

"I'll be fine."

"I'm sure you will...and if you're not you will call me."

"Okay, okay, I'll call," Meredith rolled her eyes. "Though I'm sure I won't need to as you'll be calling all day."

"I will be," he nodded, ducking down to kiss Hannah. "You sure you're okay if I go to work?"

"Yeah," Hannah whimpered, curling closer to Meredith.

"Okay..." Derek sighed. "Mer...the children's tylenol is above the sink...and there should be something for her stomach there too. If her temp won't go down...."

"Derek. Doctor."

"Meredith. Worried father."

"Understood. But you telling me what to do with a sick kid is kind of like me telling you what to do with a subdural hematoma."

"I know, I know," he sighed, kissing Meredith quickly. "Promise you'll call?"

"I promise I'll call," she nodded, fighting the urge to roll her eyes.

"And if she...you got this, I know," he smiled slightly.

"I’ve got this," she nodded. "Just in case though....pediatrician?"

"Dr. Ross...his number is on the phone."

"Okay then," she nodded. "But we won't need Dr. Ross, will we, Han? We'll get you some toast and Sprite and you'll be fine."

"Can you call the school and let them know?" Derek asked as Hannah whimpered lightly.

"Of course," Meredith nodded, running her fingers through Hannah's hair.

"Thank you," Derek nodded, before bending over and kissing Hannah. "I'll come home early, hun."

"Kay, Daddy," Hannah groaned.

"I hope you feel better soon. Love you."

"Love you too, Daddy."

"Love you, Mer."

"Love you too, Der," Meredith smiled, cuddling back down next to Hannah, rubbing slow circles into the girl's back.

"Bye guys," Derek smiled slightly before he left the room.

Meredith sighed as she looked down at the whimpering girl by her side, bringing the blankets up over them. She knew Derek was worried. She got it. He was Hannah's dad, so it made sense that he would be worried when she was sick. But she had this. She could do this. It was the stomach flu, they'd be okay. She entirely had this.

"Want to go back to sleep, Hannah?" Meredith asked quietly.

"Yeah," Hannah whispered, turning over to bury her head under the pillow.

"Okay, we can do that," Meredith nodded, hugging her close. "I'm right here, Han."

"I don't like being sick," Hannah sighed.

"I know you don't," Meredith murmured. "But we'll spend today sleeping and watching movies and you'll feel better soon."

"Promise?"

"Promise," Meredith nodded.

"Good," Hannah sighed. "Cause I don't want surgery."

"It's just the flu, Han, no surgery needed."

"Okay."

"Try to get some sleep."

"Okay, Meredith," Hannah whispered.

"I love you," Meredith whispered.

"Love you too," Hannah whispered.

"Sleep," Meredith murmured, rubbing a hand along Hannah's back.

"Hmm," the little girl sighed as her breathing evened out and her body relaxed against Meredith's.

Meredith frowned and hugged her tightly. She wanted to go back to sleep but she couldn't, she definitely couldn't do that. She had this. She could take care of Hannah with the flu. It was just the flu. And she had had it herself plenty of times. It would suck. Hannah would be miserable all day but they could get through this. And she wasn't going to have to call Derek. She had this.

She didn't even feel the smallest bit of doubt about this. She hated that Hannah was sick, she couldn't help but want to cry for the little girl with tear-stained cheeks. But she knew how to care for sick kids. She knew how to do it. And Hannah was...Hannah was hers. For all intents and purposes, Hannah was hers. Which just made her want to take care of her even more.

Sleep would help. When she had the flu when she was little her nannies always made sure she got a lot of sleep. And then movies and reading and eating toast and bananas and other bland foods that were disgusting but helped. If she was feeling better by supper she figured she could maybe heat up some of Derek's mom homemade soup. That would help. She could do this.

She groaned as her cell phone rang next to her and she wiggled out of Hannah's grasp for just a second, staring at the screen. "Derek, you just left," she sighed as she answered it.

"I know," he responded. "I just wanted to make sure that you know even if she's feeling better this afternoon, she has to stay inside."

"No, Derek," she rolled her eyes. "I was going to send our puking daughter into the cold."

"Meredith, I'm worried. I've never left her when she's been sick. I'm allowed to be worried."

"I know, and I'm sorry," Meredith sighed. "But she's fine. She's sleeping right now."

"Good, sleeping is good," he sighed.

"She's fine, Der."

"I know. And I trust you with her."

"You sure? Because the calling five minutes after you left thing isn't a good sign."

"I'm sure. I've just never left her with anyone before when she's sick. Just you."

"I'm taking good care of her."

"I know you are."

"Good," she smiled.

"I'll try to not call again until after my first surgery," he laughed.

"I"m sure you'll have Mark or your mom call before then," she giggled as Hannah shifted slightly.

"If they call it's entirely not my fault."

"Of course not," she sighed. "She'll be fine, Derek. Have a good day."

"You too. And call me."

"Okay," she sighed dramatically.

"Love you," he murmured.

"Love you too," she breathed.

"I'll see you tonight."

"Bye, Der," she said, ending the call quickly as Hannah suddenly sat up and jumped off the bed, running to the bathroom to throw up. "Oh, Han."

Meredith followed closely behind her to hold her hair as she bent over the toilet. It was fine. Meredith knew how the flu worked. She'd throw up until there was nothing left in her stomach to throw up and then she'd feel like crap the rest of the day. It was part of being a kid. A really crappy icky part but Meredith wasn't worried at all. She knew she should be, but she could handle this.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Derek ran his hand through his hair as he got out of his car that night. He had meant to be home hours earlier. Much, much earlier. He had talked to Webber about it, things had been agreed on. He had even managed to get his budget report turned in. But then there had been a car accident and he had been forced to scrub in. And now it was nearly ten and Meredith had been home alone all day with a sick seven year old.

They'd be fine. Meredith was a doctor, she was good with sick people, especially good with sick kids. And it was Hannah. Hannah who had inexplicably clung to Meredith instead of him when she wasn't feeling well. Everything was probably going fine and he had nothing to worry about. Meredith and Hannah always seemed to manage just fine without him.

He couldn't help but worry though. He had never left Hannah with anyone else when she had been sick. Throughout every cold, every bout of stomach flu, every tummyache, he had been home with his daughter. He hated leaving her alone, even if she was in the completely capable hands of Meredith. Meredith who had taken to calling his daughter their daughter.

He let himself into the house, smiling at the quietness. That had to be a good sign. A quiet house was a sign of no chaos and no chaos was definitely good. She had been fine. Meredith had taken care of their daughter, who was usually a nightmare when she was sick, and the house was still standing. He didn't have to worry. Meredith could handle it.

He looked into the living room, smiling when he saw a couple plates still on the coffee table, several DVD cases littered all over the floor. Usually he would complain about the mess, but it looked like Meredith had done everything in her power to make Hannah comfortable, including several stuffed animals sitting on the couch, wrapped in a Disney Princess blanket.

For someone who had never had a real mom the mother thing had come entirely naturally to her and it was perfect. It was perfect that he had been able to leave his daughter at home sick and not come home to find his girlfriend crying in the corner, or anything to make him think it had gotten to that point. He headed upstairs, they had to be upstairs somewhere.

He checked Hannah's room first, making his way over to Hannah's secret hiding place quickly to make sure Meredith's digging for stuffed animals hadn't made her discover the ring. It was still nestled in its little place, under an old forgotten teddy bear, and he stood. He really shouldn't even be worried about that right now. He had a sick little girl somewhere in the house.

He found her in his bed, cuddled up closely to Meredith, both of their eyes close and their chests raising and falling steadily. The lamp on Meredith's side of the bed was left on, obviously to fight off the dark and Hannah's fear and it cast a soft glow over the both of them. Any worry left in him swooshed out as he looked at them, a small smile tugging at his lips as he studied them, both entirely okay.

Hannah's head rested on Meredith's chest, her dark curls nestled underneath his girlfriend's chin. His beautiful and amazing girlfriend who had somehow managed to handle this had her arm tightly around Hannah as she slept, pulling the little girl closer to her. He blinked back quick tears and fought the urge to run back to Hannah's room and grab the ring.

This would be bad timing and Hannah wouldn't appreciate it if she felt like crap. And he didn't want Hannah there, he wanted it to be just them, some things had to be just them. But this felt perfect. He was looking at his family sleep, the two of them were his family. There was no questions in his mind, no doubt. Laying in bed together, they were entirely his.

He kicked off his shoes and climbed into bed, kissing Hannah's now much cooler forehead as he ran his hand over Meredith's loose and messy ponytail. "Hmmm," she sighed, stretching slightly as her eyes fluttered open.

"Hey," he whispered, smiling gently at her.

"Hey," she breathed.

"How was it?" he murmured.

"Not bad," she yawned, moving slightly to run her hand over Hannah's hair. "Her temp went down in the afternoon and she stopped throwing up. Her stomach still feels a little funny but she's fine."

"Good," he smiled. "You did it."

"Told you I could," she murmured.

"I know," he whispered. "You're amazing."

"Hmmm," she sighed.

"Go back to sleep. You had a long day."

"So did you."

"I know," he nodded. "Sleep is the plan."

"Definitely," she nodded. "Der?"

"Yeah?"

"I...do you...I mean, I'm Hannah's fake mom right?"

"Yeah, of course."

"And her real mom...I mean, she doesn't...legally, she has no right or whatever."

"Legally she has no right," Derek nodded slowly. "Legally Hannah is just mine."

"Just yours," Meredith murmured. "And one day...I mean, really far away but one day, you and me...we'll...I mean, this is forever?"

"This is forever. One day we will get married."

"Married," Meredith breathed the word, tensing only slightly before shaking her head. "Then...I mean, I could...I don't know how but I could be Hannah's real mom, maybe? Unless...I mean, she's yours so I can be her fake mommy but I could...she's yours. And...today I..."

"Mer...what...what are you saying?"

"Maybe she could be mine."

"As in...Mer, I'm going to need you to spell this one out to me."

"I haven't....I mean, I haven't thought it through all the way but I...I mean, I looked it up and I've been thinking about it for a while and...I mean, there are ways...like, adoption or...adoption."

"You...want to adopt Hannah?" Derek breathed, quickly blinking away tears.

"I...maybe," Meredith bit her lip. "Maybe. Unless...maybe."

"Unless what?"

"Unless you don't want me to. Which I would get. She's yours. Not mine. I just thought...I mean, I'm her fake mommy and one day, really, really far away we're going to be...so I just thought, but if you don't want me to, that's fine."

"Mer...I want you to. There's nothing...I want nothing more than that. I want you to adopt her. I...I...kind of speechless right now but yes...yes, I want you to."

"Oh," Meredith breathed. "Okay. You...okay."

"You said...you did research?" he whispered.

"Yeah," she nodded, blushing slightly. "I...I thought of it and I just...I did a little bit. Of research."

"Okay," he nodded. "So you...who do we have to talk to?"

"Probably a lawyer," she whispered and then looked up. "But, Derek...I...not for a while. I mean, it's fast and it's out there and now you want to do it but I'm still...I'm still thinking it through and it's fast. But I...eventually..."

"Eventually," he smiled. "We don't have to rush this."

"Good," she smiled back. "But eventually...I want to adopt her."

"You want to be her mom," he breathed.

"I'm already...I want to be her real mom."

"Wow," he murmured. "I...I wanted this. I knew I wanted this but I wasn't going to ask. I never...I thought this was too big to ask for."

"Me too," she sighed. "I just...she's mine, Derek. Today...I mean, she's yours. But she's...and I love her. So it's big and it's scary but I can do this. Because she's mine."

"She's yours, I know," he nodded.

"So she's mine but...I can do this."

"You can," he smiled. "She'd...would she call you Mom?"

"If she wanted to. If she doesn't want to that's...it's fine. But if she wants to..."

"Do you want her to?"

"I...maybe. Yes. If she wants to."

"We can talk to her about it," he smiled, wiping at his eyes quickly.

"Let's...it's a big deal and with Mark getting married and...let's wait."

"We can wait," Derek agreed. "I can definitely wait."

"Okay," she smiled, yawning.

"You're exhausted," he sighed.

"Hmmm," she nodded.

"Go to sleep," he smiled. "I'm going to...just...go to sleep."

"You okay?" she murmured, her fingers working over Hannah's curls as her eyes started to close.

"I'm perfect."

"Good," she breathed, her body relaxing.

"I love you," he whispered. "I love you so much."

"Love...love you too."

"Night Mer."

"Night, Der."

Derek watched her as her breathing evened out again and her body melted against Hannah's. He hadn't been expecting that. He had been dreaming of it for months, thinking of Meredith signing the papers to make Hannah hers and Hannah calling her Mom. But he had never even thought to ask for it, to contemplate something like this actually happening. It was too much to ask for.

But she had brought it up. She wanted to do it. She had taken the steps. She had done research. He hadn't even thought to look into how it would all work. He had always assumed she was too skittish, that she would always just be Hannah's step mom. But his girlfriend, his delightfully skittish amazing girlfriend had taken the steps. She wanted to be Hannah's mom.

In these ever-changing days,
You're the one thing that remains.
I could stay like this forever.


Disclaimer: Paddy is a very confusing man. We're not 100% sure if what he is saying is really good, or a little good, or mainly bad. It's all very confusing. We think it's good, we really do. If we owned the show it would be.

Derek stared into his scotch and listened as the conversation swirled around him. Or kind of listened. He should be listening. Not staring into a glass of scotch and replaying the last week of his life through out his head. He had spent a good portion of his time online looking at anything he could find about Meredith adopting Hannah and what it would take. The other half was spent thinking of asking Meredith to marry him.

Every day the last week he had considered going to Hannah's room to grab the ring. Every day he considered asking her to be his wife. Because she wanted to be Hannah's mom. She had even showed him some of her research, and then he had stayed up nearly all night doing some of his own. And the only thing he could think was, if she wanted to Hannah's mom, she needed to be his wife.

Which meant he needed to figure out how to ask, and work up the courage to ask. Because she kept saying the future, the far far future and he wanted that future to be sometime really soonish. He wanted to marry her soonish. This was forever, they both knew that it was completely forever and it felt a little ridiculous to keep stretching this out. But he wasn't sure she was ready for this yet.

They hadn't even been together for two years yet. It had been almost two years since he had seen her at the intern mixer, had wanted so badly to be with her. But they hadn't been together very long and she tensed whent he words marriage or wife were even mentioned. She wasn't ready. He was ready, he was entirely ready, but she wasn't ready for this all to become real and final.

He wanted to wait for her to be ready. He was entirely ready for her to actually be ready but he wanted to wait. Except for now she was talking about being Hannah's mom, something she had never even dared to dream of. And now it just seemed like he has to ask. He had to make all of this real and final because he needed forever with her, with Hannah's mom.

"Christ, Shep," Mark groaned, slapping him on the back, "try not to look so mopey, will you? The strippers aren't going to want to be around a mopey bastard."

"I'm not mopey," Derek rolled his eyes.

"Then what the hell is the matter with you?" Brian asked.

"Nothing," Derek shook his head. "Just...had a crazy week and a lot is on my mind. But I'm fine. Strippers, looking forward to strippers."

"Right," Peter laughed. "You look like you're the one who's about to take the leap in two weeks."

"I'm fine," Derek shrugged. "Just...stuff on my mind."

"Stuff means Grey," Mark rolled his eyes. "Shep, my night. My night with strippers. As my best man, you leave the shit with Grey behind for a night."

"There's not shit with Grey," Derek groaned.

"Stuff on your mind always means shit with Grey."

"It's not shit," Derek rolled his eyes. "Stuff...but shit sounds bad and it's not bad. Just a lot of stuff. And crap...I sound like her, don't I?"

"Yeah, you do," Ethan smirked. "She has a tendency to ramble, doesn't she? Kathleen noticed it right away. A lot of nervous habits."

"Yeah," Derek sighed. "Adorable. But definitely nervous. Meredith is...nervous."

"And now you're nervous," Mark sighed. "What the hell is going on, Shep? You might as well tell us before the strippers come along."

"Meredith wants to adopt Hannah."

"What?" Mark choked on his drink.

"Mer wants to be Hannah's mom," Derek sighed. "And I want to marry her."

"And another eternal bachelor falls," Brian sighed.

"I've had a ring hidden at home for ages," Derek shrugged. "I fell a while ago."

"You bought a ring?" Marty asked. "You spent a good chunk of money on a rock and haven't given it to her yet?"

"Yeah," Derek sighed.

"What's the hold up?" Brian asked.

"Meredith is nervous," Derek sighed. "Meredith talks about wanting forever with me and knowing she's done. And then she talks about it like it's entirely far in the future, years and years from now. And I want it now."

"Sophie did the same thing," Brian shrugged. "When I finally got the balls to ask, she sobbed her yes."

"Sophie swore she was never going to get married," Derek sighed.

"My point exactly," Brian grinned. "And I'm the lucky bastard who convinced her. Now look at her. Married, kids. I tamed the untameable Shepherd sister."

"I'm just not sure Meredith is ready for any of this," Derek sighed. "Even with adopting Hannah...she wants to take it slow."

"It's a ring," Peter shrugged. "You're not marrying her tomorrow."

"I know that," Derek nodded. "I don't know if she is."

"Don't listen to Peter," Mark shook his head. "Nancy-pants practically bought the ring and proposed to herself."

"Yeah, well that's Nancy for you," Peter sighed.

"Kathleen had her apartment wall papered with pictures of engagement rings," Ethan groaned.

"See? You guys had it easy. Hannah and I picked out the ring, and I know it's perfect but how the hell am I suppposed to give it to her?" Derek asked.

"Can't help you, Shep," Mark sighed. "Addie was ready before I was."

"I couldn't fall in love with someone easy, could I?" Derek groaned before rolling his eyes. "Mark, no comments."

"Too easy," Mark laughed.

"Thank god," Derek sighed.

"Take her away or something," Brian suggested. "Sex, presents, alcohol. Sophie couldn't resist a ring."

"What do I do with Han?"

"Well, let's see," Mark rolled his eyes, "that is a problem. Because she doesn't have aunts or uncles or a grandmother."

"Do you want to take her?" Derek asked Mark.

"I'm getting married in two weeks, Shep. I'd love to, but Addie would probably jump off a ferryboat or something."

"We'll take her if your mother can't," Marty offered.

"Since when have you ever known Katherine Shepherd to say no to taking a kid?" Peter asked. "Especially if you tell her the reason."

"I am not telling her the reason," Derek groaned. "That the last thing I need her to know."

"Mom would have a seizure if she found out you were proposing two weeks before I tied the knot," Mark groaned. "And of course you have to steal my thunder."

"Sorry, Mark," Derek sighed. "I can't just...I have to ask her."

"Can't help you, Shep," Mark sighed. "Addie was ready before I was."

"I couldn't fall in love with someone easy, could I?" Derek groaned before rolling his eyes. "Mark, no comments."

"Too easy," Mark laughed.

"Thank god," Derek sighed.

"Take her away or something," Brian suggested. "Sex, presents, alcohol. Sophie couldn't resist a ring."

"What do I do with Han?"

"Well, let's see," Mark rolled his eyes, "that is a problem. Because she doesn't have aunts or uncles or a grandmother."

"Do you want to take her?" Derek asked Mark.

"I'm getting married in two weeks, Shep. I'd love to, but Addie would probably jump off a ferryboat or something."

"We'll take her if your mother can't," Marty offered.

"Since when have you ever known Katherine Shepherd to say no to taking a kid?" Peter asked. "Especially if you tell her the reason."

"I am not telling her the reason," Derek groaned. "That the last thing I need her to know."

"Mom would have a seizure if she found out you were proposing two weeks before I tied the knot," Mark groaned. "And of course you have to steal my thunder."

"Sorry, Mark," Derek sighed. "I can't just...I have to ask her."

"Sophie figured you were going to soon," Brian said. "All she could talk about on the way home was you finally getting married."

"I've basically wanted to ask her for months," Derek smiled.

"Then get it over with," Peter grinned. "Take her away for a weekend and ask her there."

"We've been talking about going to wine country but never actually go," Derek nodded.

"Sonoma," Mark nodded. "Less tourists, nice hotels."

"Sonoma," Derek nodded slowly.

"What's the worst that can happen?" Marty asked. "If she wants to adopt Hannah, she'll say not now. Not no."

"I know," Derek nodded. "You're right. She wants this."

"So you're going to do it, Shep?" Mark asked.

"Yeah...I'm going to do it," Derek nodded.

"Good," Mark sighed. "Now you can stop moping around and give me a damn good bachelor party like you're supposed to."

"This is a great bachelor party, ass," Derek frowned.

"Yeah, you moping around is great."

"I'm so sorry my person problems interrupt your drinking," Derek rolled his eyes.

"Strippers, Shep," Mark grinned lewdly. "We drink and then go see strippers."

"I know," Derek sighed. "I planned it, didn't I?"

"And now he can enjoy it as one of his last days as a free man," Marty laughed. "Smart move, Shep."

"Wasn't exactly my move. If I hadn't done strippers apparently Mark wouldn't be talking to me anymore."

"If I can't touch another woman for the rest of my life, I want strippers," Mark nodded firmly.

"We'll make sure you have a good time," Brian laughed.

"Not too good," Mark sighed. "Addie's threatening to cut off the jewels if I have too good of a time. Apparently, I can look not touch. And if I touch, she gets your balls too, Shep."

"What?" Derek frowned.

"Your fault for bringing in the strippers," Mark shrugged.

"Mark, you demanded the strippers," Derek groaned.

"Addie thinks I'm an idiot," Mark laughed. "She thought you'd say no."

"You're the groom, you wanted strippers," Derek shrugged.

"Don't worry, Shep. You marry Grey and I'll pull out the old book for your party."

"Who said I'd want strippers at my bachelor party?"

"It's a bachelor party," Mark shrugged.

"He has a point," Ethan laughed. "And Meredith doesn't seem like the jealous type."

"She's not," Derek sighed. "But that doesn't mean I want strippers at my bachelor party."

"I'm disappointed in you, Shep," Mark shook his head.

"He's got it bad," Peter sighed.

"It's not because of that," Derek rolled his eyes. "I just...don't know if I want strippers. I'm not even engaged yet."

"Give it a week and you will be," Brian grinned. "And then you'll be begging for strippers."

"I'm sure I will be," Derek laughed.

"Speaking of strippers," Mark grinned lewdly, putting his glass down, "my night. I'm ready for the entertainment."

"Of course you are," Derek sighed.

"So let's get the hell out of here," Mark stood, putting on his leather jacket. "And get the mopey ass look off your face, Shep. You're getting engaged to Grey. And strippers tonight."

"I might not actually be getting engaged," Derek pointed out. "And if this blows up in my face I'm coming after all of you."

"Yeah, yeah," Brian shook his head. "You'll be one of us within the next year. Old married men who only have strippers to look forward to."

"You obviously don't know Mer," Derek laughed.

"Trust me, Shep won't need strippers," Mark smirked. "You haven't heard them in on call rooms."

"Speaking of which...exactly how did you two get together?" Brian asked. "Besides a rocky start?"

"Yeah, Shep, how did you and Grey get together," Mark smirked.

"I hate you," Derek groaned to Mark. "It was...complicated. And involved a lot of sex."

"They were fuck buddies."

"We weren't fuck buddies. We were...it was complicated."

"Fucking each other's brains out all over the hospital."

"Well yes...there was that."

"Shep would page her and they'd have sex. Fuck buddies. Booty calls."

"Seriously? You?" Ethan frowned. "That's not your style."

"I wanted to be with her," Derek sighed. "That was all she could give at that point. I was willing to wait."

"Seriously?" Brian asked.

"They were fucking for months," Mark grinned.

"It wasn't fucking," Derek sighed. "It was a lot more complicated than that."

"Fucking," Mark shrugged.

"It's not that simple," Derek shrugged. "It never was."

"Shep's marrying his fuck buddy," Mark laughed.

"Fine, I'm marrying my fuck buddy," Derek rolled his eyes. "We used to fuck anywhere we could...up to five times a day. Happy?"

"Up to..." Brian stared at him. "Up to five times a day? Holy shit, man."

"Told you I didn't need strippers," Derek smirked.

"Five times a day," Ethan shook his head.

"It's been a while since we've had it that much," Derek shrugged.

"Yeah, that's because it stops when you have kids," Marty sighed.

"I said that much...we're still having it," Derek smirked.

"It completely stops when you have an infant," Brian groaned. "If anyone needs strippers, it's me. At least your kids are grown, Ethan."

"Yeah, we're doing okay," Ethan nodded. "Though...I think Derek seems to be getting more."

"And I'm getting more than Shep. As usual," Mark laughed.

"As usual? Five times a day? I'm pretty sure you weren't getting more at that point."

"You keep telling yourself that, Shep."

"No, Mark, you kept telling me that," Derek laughed.

"Well, now, now I'm getting more than you."

"Because you don't have a kid at home."

"Thank god for that."

"You'll have them eventually," Marty laughed.

"People keep expecting that," Mark sighed. "Haven't decided yet."

"Have you and Addie talked about it?" Derek asked.

"Off and on," Mark shrugged. "I'd make a shit dad. And she's into the career."

"You wouldn't be a shit dad," Derek shrugged. "Don't think anyone would give you an award but you wouldn't be that bad."

"You have a point," Mark grinned. "I did a great job with Han. Without me, she'd be the most fucked up kid."

"Of course," Derek rolled his eyes.

"What about you, Shep? More kids in the future?" Brian asked. "Make your mom happy so she's off our ass about it."

"No idea," Derek shrugged. "I'm not sure if I want any more and I have no idea if Meredith wants any. She was worried about Hannah because she never planned on having them."

"So Mom can trust the Shepherd sisters on the grandkids front," Mark laughed.

"Yeah, I'm not making any promises," Derek laughed.

"The Shepherd sisters are done," Marty said firmly. "At least, my Shepherd sister is done."

"I'm kind of hoping Sophie's done," Brian sighed.

"Kath's definitely done," Ethan laughed. "I made sure of that ten years ago."

"Same with Nancy," Peter sighed. "So that leaves you two."

"Yeah, yeah," Mark shook his head. "I think it's time to man up and get the strippers in here."

"Probably a good idea," Derek laughed.

"So let's get the hell out of here," Mark nodded, moving towards the door.

"Of course you can't pay for yourself," Derek rolled his eyes, throwing some bills on the counter. "Thanks Joe."

"See you guys," Joe called. "Good luck, Sloan."

"Thanks Joe," Mark nodded. "God know I'm going to need it."

"I think Addie's going to need the help," Joe laughed.

"You're a smart man, Joe," Derek laughed.

"Hey, Joe, make sure you congratulate Shep. He's popping the question," Mark grinned as the rest of the bar looked up quickly.

"Mark, you're not going to live to your wedding night," Derek groaned.

"Addie would kill you."

"Actually...if Mer finds out about the proposal I'm pretty sure Addie would be on my side."

"Then you better ask her quick," Mark laughed as he walked out of the bar.

"Seriously going to kill him," Derek groaned. "See you, Joe."

"Bye, Shep," Joe nodded.

Derek headed toward the door where his brother and brother-in-laws had disappeared to. He should probably listen to them. He wanted to ask her and they were right, the worst she could do was say not now. She wouldn't say no. He had to ask. And a weekend in wine country would be perfect. Alone, just them, it would be perfect timing. It was a good idea, a great idea.

It's been a long time coming
Down this road
And now I know what I've been searching for
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oncetherewasaway Dec 27 2007, 01:49 PM Post #13
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McEditor

 Disclaimer: We are confused. We have no idea what is actually going to happen on Grey's Anatomy. Good things...Paddy said so and Paddy is Paddy so we know good things but we don't know what things. If we did own the show we would know...and we don't.

He was nervous. He was incredibly nervous. He had no reason to be nervous. Well, not yet anyway. He hadn't even gotten a chance to ask her yet. He hadn't actually seen her in almost twenty-four hours, so he actually hadn't gotten the chance to ask if she even wanted to go to wine country. Which meant Derek wasn't actually sure she was going to say yes. He had to find her and ask.

He had to play this casually, which felt a little insane but he definitely couldn't let her know that this was going to be a big deal. It was just a weekend off, only the two of them, away from Hannah, before the insanity of a Shepherd family really started up. That's all it was. A lot of sex, a lot of non stop sex. She would go for that. There was no way she could say no to that kind of offer.

He had already booked a hotel in Sonoma. His mom was taking Hannah for the weekend. And he had their bags packed, the ring tucked gently in between his clothes. So he had just to ask her now. Make it sound casual. Mention the sex. And not freak out. Even if his hands were shaking, he couldn't freak out. "Hey," he heard her voice coming up behind him.

"Oh...hey," he turned around quickly, a smile on his face.

"I hate long shifts," she sighed, leaning against the wall. "I hate not going home."

"I hate it too," he sighed. "I missed you."

"I missed you too," she smiled widely. "So...people are staring at me."

"Staring at you?" he frowned.

"Staring at me," she nodded. "I walk around and they stare at me and they smile. And then they look down and then they smile again. It's weird. Just...weird and bizarre."

"Oh...umm...it's probably just in your head, Mer," Derek smiled gently.

"I don't think so," Meredith sighed. "I really think they're staring at me. It's freaking out a little. Even Cristina noticed."

"Odd," he nodded slowly. "Want to go away this weekend?"

"What?" she frowned. "Go away...we've never...what about Hannah?"

"My mom said she could watch her," Derek smiled, kissing her quickly.

"Where would we go?"

"Wine country."

"Wine country?" she raised an eyebrow. "We've never gone away. And now we're going to wine country?"

"Yes," he nodded. "For the weekend."

"For the weekend," she nodded. "Why?"

"Because..." Derek sighed. "Mark's wedding is coming and it's going to be crazy and I just thought...you and me...alone, no Hannah."

"Alone?" Meredith breathed.

"Alone," he nodded. "Forty-eight uninterrupted hours."

"Oh," she smiled. "Wine country. For forty-eight uninterrupted hours."

"Exactly," he grinned.

"Wine country sounds a little cheesy. And really really stupidly romantic."

"Meredith, you're not paying attention," he sighed, kissing her quickly. "There'll be wine, there'll be country and we won't see any of it."

"Oh," she giggled against his lips. "A weekend of sex."

"You are paying attention."

"Shut up," she giggled. "I'll have to get someone to cover my shift."

"So you're in?"

"Definitely in," she smiled. "So where in wine country are we going?"

"Sonoma."

"You have this all planned out don't you?"

"Maybe," he smirked.

"Have we really not been having enough sex or something?" she laughed.

"We have been," he laughed. "I was just...the guys wantd to know how we got started so I...might have let it slip about five times a day. And it's been a long time since we had it five times in one day."

"It has been," she sighed. "And now you want sex all weekend."

"And so do you."

"I definitely do," she giggled. "Forty eight uninterrupted hours of sex sounds perfect."

"Good," he smiled, kissing her firmly.

"I love you," she breathed, kissing him back.

"I love you too," he murmured.

"When do we leave?"

"Tonight."

"Tonight?" Meredith paused. "Seriously?"

"Seriously," he nodded.

"You really did have this all planned."

"Of course I did," he smiled.

"You're insane," Meredith grinned as a nurse walked by. "Okay, did you see that?"

"No," he shook his head, trying to make sure his hands didn't shake too badly. He was going to kill Mark. "There was nothing to see."

"Der, she stared at me. And looked down at my hands or something and then she smiled."

"Well...I have no idea why, Mer."

"You know something."

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Mer."

"Fine," Meredith sighed. "But something is going on."

"Yes, you need sleep," he laughed softly.

"Which I won't be getting this weekend," she giggled.

"Oh you can get a little," he grinned.

"You'll need your rest," she smiled, kissing him quickly again. "So tonight. We're going to Sonoma tonight."

"We are," he breathed. "Alone."

"Completely alone," she murmured. "Forty eight uninterrupted hours of sex."

"Exactly."

"Good," she breathed, leaning forward to kiss him but stopping when two interns walked by. "Derek, they're staring at me. Seriously. What the hell is going on?"

"No idea," he shrugged. "Probably just...some stupid rumor."

"God, what now?" she groaned.

"I'm not sure, but you know how gossip is around here."

"True," she sighed.

"I'm sure it's nothing. And in a few hours you'll be out of here for a weekend."

"Also true," she giggled, kissing him again. "What time is our flight?"

"Seven."

"I have to go home and pack."

"Done."

"What if I had said no?"

"Well there was a plan that involved dragging you against your will."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously," he laughed softly. "I knew you'd say yes."

"Next time I'll say no," she giggled.

"Of course you will," he laughed, kissing her quickly.

"I'll see you tonight," she murmured against his lips.

"See you," he echoed. "Love you."

"Love you too," she grinned as she walked away.

That had gone well. Or kind of well. She had at least agreed to go, she had at least not asked too many questions and had been really excited about going. Really excited about a non stop weekend of sex. Everything would be fine. Everything would have been fine had Mark not been an asshole. As people were now looking at her, staring at her, expecting to see a ring on her finger.

Hopefully she didn't hear anything before they left. Hopefully the gossip didn't follow her around. Because the last thing he needed was her even suspecting anything. She'd freak out and the weekend would be completely ruined. Of course, the weekend could be completely ruined anyway if, when he asked, she completely freaked out. Which was a possibility.

He just had to remember it was Meredith, it was the love of his life who wanted forever with him and wanted to adopt his daughter, their daughter. It was Meredith and the worst thing she could say was not now. It would hurt but he could take it, he could take a not now. At least it would be out there, at least she'd have an idea that he wanted it now. He wanted to marry her now.

Cause I'm keeping you
forever and for always
We will be together all of our day
Wanna wake up every
morning to your sweet face--always


Disclaimer: Shonda is possibly a tiny bit evil, and teased us with something like this but than took it away. We are not evil so this is what we could have had on the show and didn't get. And if you're under 18 you might not want to read it.

Now would be good. Now would actually be a great time to ask. She was sleeping but he figured he could wake her up. And then he could ask. The sun was rising over the ocean and they could see it. It was an amazing view, a perfect view. And it would be perfect timing. Last night had been amazing, the second they had arrived it had been like an entirely different world. The timing was great.

He had the ring. The ring in the bedside table. His bedside table. It was right there. He could wake her up and ask her. It would be easy. They had spent the entire night having sex, the fireplace the only lighting in the entire room. They had had an amazing night. And now he could ask. He just had to wake her up and ask. The problem was asking. The problem was waking her up and asking.

They still had two days, two amazing days still ahead of him to ask. And if he asked now and she said no, or not yet, the weekend would be perfect, the amazingly perfect weekend. He couldn't ask now, not if she might not say yes. Or maybe he should. Get it over with, get it out there and deal with the consequences, whatever they happened to be. At least the stress would be gone.

Except if she said no the weekend would be incredibly awkward. So maybe now wasn't the best time to ask. Maybe he should wait. Actually, he should probably wait. And waking her up would just piss her off, which would make her even more likely to say no. So he could wait. He could order breakfast and then maybe propose over breakfast. Or just not ask at all this morning.

There would be plenty of times like this this weekend. This weekend was all about amazing perfect moments to ask. It's why he had brought her here, for moments where Hannah wasn't going to barge in and Mark wasn't going to call and his mom wasn't going to show up. This weekend was full of times where it would feel entirely perfect to ask. He could do it later.

She would say yes. She had to say yes. She wanted to adopt Hannah. She wanted to adopt his daughter and she talked all the time about this being forever. So him being nervous didn't make sense. They would be fine. She would say yes. Or she could say no and freak out and want to leave. This was probably a bad idea. He was never taking his brothers-in-law's advice again.

He would just put it off a bit longer. Which was fine. He had the ring and eventually they would get married. Even if it was years from now, he could wait years. He would have to figure out how to ignore that very annoying voice that was urging him to drag her off to a church to make her marry him. He would ignore that voice and it would be fine. THe ring could wait for a better time.

The thing was, he had the ring. He had the ring and he wanted to marry her. He needed to marry her. She was the love of his life. Waiting years didn't sound as appealing as slipping the ring on her finger and marrying her in a year. He briefly considered just slipping the ring on her finger while she slept and seeing if she noticed. It was only a brief thought though and he went back to thinking to just put it off.

Maybe he should start hinting at it. He could do what apparently all of his sisters had done and completely hint at it. Maybe start saying things about rings and about white dresses and just talk. Maybe he could get his sisters in on it, they could talk about weddings and all the other girly things. She could adapt to it, get used to hearing about it and then he could ask. Or maybe she would.

Except he didn't want her to ask. He wanted to ask. Though, her asking would take a lot of pressure off. He could start hinting. Or maybe do it in an extremely public place where saying no would just be cruel. The point of the amazing hotel room with an ocean view was privacy. It had all been about asking in private, but maybe he was going about this all wrong.

Public would be good. It was little over the top romance for their style but it would make sure he got the yes he needed to hear. And it seemed a little crule and coniving, definitely manipulative. He couldn't trick Meredith into saying yes to him. He needed her to say it and really mean it. He needed her to want to marry him and marry him, not sometime in the very distant future.

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair as he got out of bed, opening the bedside drawer quickly to look at the ring. This was an incredibly bad idea. The hotel was amazing, the ocean was great, the bottle of wine currently chilling in a bucket of ice was great...but the possible proposal was a bad idea. She wasn't ready. She wasn't anywhere near to being ready.

He could wait. He'd take this weekend as what she wanted it to be, a weekend of sex and relaxation and being completely totally in love. That was what she wanted and he was okay with that. He was great with that. He could use a weekend of cuddling and sex and everything else with Meredith. They didn't have enough alone time as it was. That was good. That was fine.

"Der?"

"You're up," he smiled.

"Hmmm," she nodded, stretching her naked body. "What are you doing?"

"Laying here and looking at you," he smiled.

"You were just out of bed," she pointed out. "And pacing. You were pacing a little."

"Oh...you were...awake?" he cleared his throat.

"Yeah," she nodded. "You only pace when you're nervous. Or scared. Or...why are you pacing?"

"No reason," he shook his head. "Just....woke up and didn't feel like staying still."

"You were running your fingers through your hair," she sat up. "Der..."

"It's nothing, Mer," he sighed, kissing her quickly. "Don't worry."

"Are you sure?"

"Completely sure," he nodded.

"You just seem...off and weird and...but you're...we're okay, right?" she frowned. "You didn't bring me to wine country to dump me?"

"Mer..." he frowned. "Never. Ever ever. And who the hell would bring a girl to wine country to dump her?"

"I don't know," she sighed, bringing her knees to her chest. "I just...you're weird and antsy."

"Sorry," he whispered. "It's...I do have something on my mind. But it's not something to worry about. At all."

"Okay...something on your mind..."

"Mer...I love you. I want to have sex with you all weekend. The thing on my mind...not a bad thing about you. At all."

"Okay," she sighed.

"Meredith...."

"Hmmm?" she looked up at him.

"Nothing. Just...I love you."

"I love you too," she smiled.

"Good," he grinned, kissing her lightly. "I love being here with you."

"It's amazing, Der," she sighed, pulling him down next to her.

"Hmmm..." he breathed, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close.

"Kind of stupid romantic," she giggled. "But amazing."

"Well we are a couple," he laughed softly. "We can do romantic things."

"We usually don't though," she pointed out.

"We usually have a seven year old nestled between us by now."

"Very true. And I love her...you know I do. But...this is good."

"This is amazing," he smiled, kissing her softly.

"Hmmm," she breathed, deepening the kiss, running her hands over his chest.

"Hmmm..." he echoed, running his hand along her back.

"Der," she murmured as she rolled on top of him, trailing her fingernails down his chest as she lightly ground her hips against him.

"Knew there was a reason I brought you here," he groaned, moving his hands down to her ass and squeezing it tightly.

"For the hot sex?" she said breathlessly, grinding her hips harder against him as his hands moved up to her hair. He brought her head down to his lips as he kissed her hard and desperately.

"Yes," he murmured against her lips, rocking his hips up against hers.

"And I thought you had some crazy alternative motive," she laughed, moaning slightly as his erection rubbed against her, deepening the kiss even more.

"Nope....just lots and lots of sex," he groaned, tracing his hands up and down her back, as he moved his mouth to kiss along her neck.

"I love lots and lots of sex," she gasped as he nipped at the hollow of her throat. Her hips moved faster against him, her wet folds teasing his throbbing erection.

"Me too," he breathed. "Mer...."

"Hmmm," she breathed as she centered herself over him, her fingernails moving up and down his chest.

"Please...." he gasped. "Please."

"Oh," she giggled, bringing her hips down on his erection, her hands moving to his hips to left them into her, both of them gasping at the sensation. "Derek...god."

"Mer...oh....Mer...." he groaned as she raised up on him, before pushing back down on to him.

She moved up and down onto him, grasping his hips to bring them up as she went down, the friction causing both of them to moan loudly. "Derek...god," she gasped as his own hands moved to hips, rocking against her as he pulled her hips down, hard. "Derek..."

"Mer..." he gasped, letting his own hips rock up into hers as he held her close in place. He shifted again, bringing her crashing down on him so their chest rubbed together and he kissed her hard.

"Oh...oh..." she breathed against his kiss, biting on his lower lip as her lower back moved her hips back and forth as he moved up against her, every inch of their skin touching as her hands grasped at his curls, pulling tightly.

"God..." he groaned, his hands explording the planes of her gently moving back as she rocked over him. He gasped loudly as she took his tongue into her mouth and sucked hard on it.

She slowed her movments slightly, running her hands down his sides before holding his hips in place, her hips moving in a slow, tedious circular motion over him. "I...Derek," she murmured. "Der..."

"Mer...oh fuck...." he gasped. "Mer..."

"I...Derek..." she moaned, picking up her pace again, moving faster and harder against him, losing all pretense of a rhythm as their bodies crashed into each other. "Derek, fuck."

"Oh god," he gasped loudly, his body trembling under her, rocking his hips hard into hers. "Mer..."

"Come...Derek...for me," she ordered breathlessly, her own body going taut against his.

"Mer...Mer..." he gasped, his body immediately responding to her comande as he bucked against her, emptying himself into her.

She came seconds later, the orgasm washing over her as she went rigid before collapsing on top of him, her chest heaving. "Oh god..."

"That was...."

"I love...I love wine country," she breathed.

"Me...me too," he agreed.

"Never...never leaving."

"We...kind of...have to."

"Hmmm," she shook her head, pressing quick kisses to his chest.

"Okay," he murmured. "We can stay."

"Good," she whispered.

"Great."

"Great," she giggled, resting her head against his pounding chest.

"Meredith...I..."

"Hmmm?" she murmured lazily.

"Love you...that's all."

"Love you too," she whispered, her hand moving over his chest hair.

"Good," he murmured.

"Even if you are acting weird."

"No I'm not," he frowned.

"You were up at six. During vacation. Pacing."

"I told you...things are on my mind, that's all."

"You know I might be able to help. Or something. We're a couple. Couples help."

"I know, thanks for the offer," he nodded. "This is just...I can't talk to you about this."

"Okay now you're scaring me," she frowned, looking up at him.

"Oh Mer...nothing, it's nothing," he shook his head, squeezing her tightly. "I swear you have nothing to be scared of."

"Okay," she said slowly. "But, Der, we're on vacation. In wine country. Vacations suggest relaxing. Relaxing and sex and...things. So...you know, pacing is kind of against the rules on vacations."

"Sorry," he laughed softly. "Relaxing. I'm relaxing."
"Good," she smiled widely, kissing him.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"So...breakfast in bed?"

"Definitely," she giggled.

"I forgot how nice it was to not have a kid sometimes," he sighed. "And yes, I'm a terrible Dad."

"It is nice," she sighed. "Which makes me a horrible mom or fake mom or real mom or whatever."

"Real Mom. Or...future real mom."

"Right. I'm a horrible future real mom."

"At least we both are."

"Yes, we're terrible awful parents."

"Hannah is screwed."

"Yes, with parents like us. And an uncle like Mark," Meredith giggled, rolling off of him as he reached for the room service menu.

"Entirely screwed," he sighed. "What do you feel like?"

"Pancakes."

"Of course," Derek laughed.

"You didn't let me finish," she giggled.

"Oh?" he raised an eyebrow at her.

"More sex."

"Mer, we have to eat," he laughed.

"Well it's going to take them a bit to make it, right?"

"Oh you're a thinker."

"And then the whole having to bring it up here."

"We have some time."

"We do," she nodded, spreading small bites and kisses down his chest. "So you should order."

"Definitely," he murmured, reaching for the phone.

"And then we can have really...really hot sex," she breathed as her hand reached between them to gently stroke his penis.

"Mer...if you want me to order you may not want to do that," Derek groaned.

"You can still order," she murmured, moving down his body to gently lick along his hips.

"Evil woman," he groaned, picking up the receiver.

"You love me," she breathed, biting gently on the tender skin of his inner thigh.

"I do," he sighed as he hit the number for the front desk. He had to concentrate on ordering while Meredith did whatever she was doing. Concentrating would be good, concentrating would take his mind off other things, like the box hidden in the drawer and the fact she definitely knew that something was going on. Which was fine. He'd ask her soon. And have sex till then.

Do you know what you do to me
Everything inside of me
Is wanting you
And needing you


Disclaimer: If we owned the show something like this would be happening soonish. And by soonish we mean like...in the next 6 episodes. As at max that is what we have left until who knows when. But definitely something like this.


It was over. The incredibly perfect weekend was over. The incredibly perfect weekend he had planned to propose to her was over. And they weren't engaged. The ring was back in his bag, tucked in between clothes. It was over and he hadn't proposed. He had thought about it. Come close a few times. But he hadn't done it. He had completely lost all courage to ask his girlfriend to marry him.

It was pathetic. He was going to get home and Mark and all of his brothers-in-law were going to kick his ass. He couldn't actually believe he had chickened out. He hadn't meant to. Every single moment he had found to ask he had put it off, promising himself that the next moment would be better, that it could wait another hour, another round of sex. And now they were going home.

They were standing in the security line at the airport, her hand tightly grasping his. She looked entirely happy. Entirely relaxed. The weekend had been great for her. It had been perfect for her. He wasn't sure he had ever seen her this relaxed. Of course, he was entirely sure this weekend had given him an ulcer. But it was fine. It was probably a sign. She wasn't ready.

He didn't want to push her. Even if the worst case scenario was her telling him that she couldn't yet, that she needed more time. But it would have changed anything, it would have switched everything around and life wouldn't be the same. They couldn't just pretend the question wasn't asked, they couldn't pretend it wasn't out there. It would change everything.

He couldn't actually imagine anything worse than the awkwardness her saying not now would actually create. She would feel guilty, he would feel as if he pushed her, the question would always be out there, on the table, waiting for an answer. It had been stupid to even think of asking her. Even if every moment this weekend had been perfect, he never even should have thought of proposing.

It would come later, he knew it would. There was no question in his mind that this was forever, and he knew she felt the exact same way. It would come. He didn't have to push for anything, he didn't have to marry her now. It would come. Which was fine. Just because Mark and Addison were getting married it didn't actually mean he had to. He could wait. He was good with waiting.

"I hate lines," she groaned next to him.

"Because you have the same patience as Hannah," he laughed.

"No, because we just stand here and...it's boring," she sighed, leaning into him.

"We'll be on the plane soon," he murmured, wrapping an arm around her.

"Well, that's a relief," she giggled. "And then we can join the mile high club. Again."

"Definitely," he grinned. "Squeeze in one more time."

"Because we didn't just have sex all weekend," she murmured.

"Hey, we set new records," he laughed.

"Very true," she giggled. "You can tell the guys we are now up to seven times a day."

"I plan to," he nodded. "Sometimes I impress even myself."

"You're so cocky," she giggled.

"I think I have a right to be."

"You definitely do," she stood on her tip toes to kiss him quickly. "We haven't moved. You realize that right? In ten minutes, we haven't moved."

"It's a security line, Mer," Derek sighed. "They don't move a lot."

"I know," Meredith sighed. "It's just...bored."

"I have some medical journals in my bag and a book if you want to read," he shrugged.

"Seriously?"

"It's a suggestion."

"Give me a medical journal," she sighed.

"Okay," he nodded, reaching in his bag to grab one out and hand it to her.

"Thanks," she sighed, leaning against him as she flipped to some random article. He wrapped his arm around her, squeezing her tightly as he tried to keep his mind off the fact that the ring was in the bag. The ring was in the bag. He had touched it. He had touched the small velvet box when he had grabbed the medical journal for her. The ring that she was supposed to be wearing by now.

He should have asked her, it was ridiculous that he hadn't. She loved him. She wanted forever with him. And even if she wasn't ready to marry him they could have a long engagement. It would just be more official, more concrete. They talked about forever, they talked about a future, asking was just another step. It should have been fine. He should have said something, anything.

The weekend had been amazing. It had been forty-eight uninterrupted hours of nothing but sex and wine and food in bed. It had been incredible and there had been perfect moments to ask. Cuddling in front of the fire would have been good. Watching the sun set on the ocean would have quite possibly topped all of the moments. And instead he had chickened out.

And now he had to figure out something else, something entirely different. He couldn't drag her to wine country again, not to propose, it would just feel too pathetic or something. So now he needed a completely different plan. Something that he couldn't chicken out of and screw everything up. Something simple and maybe spontaneous. It had to work. He had to ask her.

He supposed he could ask his mom to keep Hannah for one night and he could do it on their land. On the docks. Or maybe at that spot she liked overlooking the ferryboats. That would work. It would actually probably be incredibly perfect. Just the two of them, a bottle of wine, and the ferryboats. He didn't know why he hadn't thought of it earlier.

And he had to stop thinking about this. She was looking up from the journal again, frowning at him as if she knew he was thinking of things. If he kept thinking she would catch on to it being something bigger than he had played it off as. She had been asking him all weekend and now he had to really act normal. Before she asked more questions. And over thinking this was probably bad.

"You're doing it again," she whispered.

"No, I'm not," he shook his head quickly.

"You are," she nodded. "You look confused and weird and...you look like you want to pace but you can't pace so you're kind of...wiggly or something. And your hair...you're doing it again."

"Oh...well umm...it's nothing," he shook his head again.

"Der," she sighed, closing the medical journal.

"Mer...I told you, nothing to worry about, I swear."

"Can you at least give me a hint as to what's going on?"

"There's something I want to do...and I'm just trying to figure out when to do it."

"Okay...what do you want to do?"

"Nothing, Mer...it's...nothing," he sighed.

"Obviously it's not nothing if you look like...the way you do."

"Okay...it's nothing bad."

"So it's not like skydiving or something?"

"Skydiving?" he laughed.

"You never know," she shrugged. "People think about sky diving all the time."

"Are you thinking of skydiving?"

"No," she shook her head. "Definitely not. I...it's not exactly something I'd want to do. I mean it's high and you jump from a plane which just seems kind of stupid."

"It does," he nodded, laughing softly. "What I'm thinking about can't kill me."

"Well that's good to know," she smiled. "You're really not going to tell me, are you?"

"Not right now," he shook his head. "Eventually you'll know."

"Eventually sucks," she sighed as they moved forward in line.

"Stop worrying so much," he sighed, kissing her cheek quickly.

"I wouldn't have to worry so much if you hadn't been all space-y and Derek-y all weekend."

"I wasn't spacey and Dereky all weekend," he frowned.

"You completely were."

"I was porny all weekend."

"Well, that too," she giggled. "But spacey and Dereky too."

"Sorry," he sighed.

"Well as long as it doesn't kill you," she sighed.

"Definitely not," he shook his head, squeezing her close. "And it doesn't hurt you."

"Good," she smiled, kissing him quickly. "Love you."

"Love you too," he grinned.

"Ooo finally," she breathed as they moved up to the security checkpoint.

"Impatient," he laughed softly.

"You're an ass," she rolled her eyes as he put his bag on the conveyor belt, his jacket thrown haphazardly on top of it.

"You love me," he grinned.

"Sir," the man on the other side of the metal detector said, "could you please step through?"

"Of course," Derek nodded, taking a step through.

"Thank you," the man nodded and then moved over to the conveyor belt, picking up Derek's bag. "Is this your bag, sir?"

"Yes, it is," Derek nodded slowly.

"Okay, we're going to have to do a quick check through it, if that's all right."

"You..." Derek breathed. "Oh...umm....could you...not?"

"Excuse me?" the man frowned.

"It's just..." Derek whispered, looking quickly at Meredith who was frowning at him. "I have an engagement ring in there. One that I was supposed to give my girlfriend this weekend but I chickened out. And it's now in the bag."

"I'm sorry to hear that, sir," the man nodded.

"So could you...not look? I mean...I'm a neurosurgeon, one of the top in the country...there's nothing in the bag."

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to comply with a random bag check."

"But engagement ring," Derek hissed.

"That's not my problem, sir. I'm more concerned with the safety of the passengers of the flight you're taking today."

"You're like a robot or something," Derek groaned. This was bad. This was really bad. He didn't need Meredith to know he had a ring. Or at least not find it out this way, with a security guard pulling it out of his bag. This was the last way this should be happening. Or maybe it was the kick in the pants he needed. "Fine," he sighed, reaching quickly for his bag.

"Sir, what exactly are you doing?"

"Getting the ring out so my girlfriend doesn't find out I'm planning on proposing from you," Derek sighed.

"Derek?" Meredith's voice came from behind him as she stepped through the metal detector.

"Mer..." Derek breathed as he grabbed the ring out of the bag, turning quickly to get down on one knee in front of her.

"Derek..." she breathed, staring at him and then looking around wildly. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Meredith...." Derek smiled widely "I...I want to marry you, Meredith. I want...everything with you. I want to die when I'm 110 years old in your arms. I don't want 48 uninterrupted hours with you...I want a lifetime."

"What...are you...what?"

"Meredith...marry me."

He could swear the entire security area went completely quiet. He could swear people stopped talking, that everything stopped as he knelt in front of her, the ring in his hand. "You...you're proposing," she stammered. "You're proposing marriage which is huge and big and...yes...yes....but we haven't even been dating two years yet. I mean, yes. Yes, I...but you're proposing. You're on one knee and you're proposing and it's...yes. In an airport. Seriously? Seriously. An airport. I can't...yes. But an airport?"

"Yes...that was...you said yes, right?"

"I...yes," she nodded, looking down at the ring. "Yes. I said...we're in an airport. We just spent an entire weekend in Sonoma with a fireplace and an ocean and room service and you...yes.. I said yes but a security line? Seriously? This is...you're supposed to be McDreamy and McDreamy...I mean...yes. I said yes."

"I..you...yes? Really...yes?" he whispered.

"Yes," she nodded. "Yes."

"Oh..." he breathed, taking the ring out of the box with shaky hands and slipping it on her finger. "You....yes."

"Yes," she whispered, a tear slipping down her cheek.

"Wow," he murmured, standing back up and pulling her into his arms, and kissing her gently, vaguely aware of the fact that there was clapping and cheering in the background.

"I hate you," she whispered against his lips.

"What?"

"People are clapping, Derek. People we don't know. Are clapping."

"Sorry," he whispered, wiping his eyes quickly. "I was...it was supposed to be over the weekend."

"Is this...I mean...is that what you've been freaking out about?" she whispered, kissing him again.

"Yeah," he murmured.

"You're an idiot," she giggled.

"What? Why?"

"Because you just proposed in the security line at an airport."

"Well...he was going to take the ring out. I couldn't have you find out that way," he sighed.

"There you go, sir," the man grinned, handing Derek his bag. "And may I be the first to congratulate you both on your engagement?"

"Thank you," Derek smiled.

"Enjoy your flight," the man nodded.

"We will," Derek nodded as Meredith giggled lightly.

They moved out of the security area, walking towards their gate, Derek's arm around Meredith's waist as she looked down at her hand. "Wow," she breathed.

"Do you like it?" he asked quietly.

"It's amazing."

"Hannah and I picked it out."

"When?" she asked, smiling down at the sparkling diamond.

"A few weeks ago."

"A few...a few weeks?"

"Right after the fight."

"Seriously?" she stared at him. " You've had it...I mean, that long?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "I was...terrified of actually asking."

"So you asked in a security line?" she giggled.

"I did," he laughed. "I think I needed some push to do it."

"And probably wanted to make sure I couldn't say no," she laughed.

"It did cross my mind at one point during the weekend," he laughed.

"Of course it did," she giggled.

"I didn't want to do it that way," he sighed. "I didn't want to trick you into saying yes. You can take it back if you want."

"What?" she stopped, turning to look at him.

"I put you in a tight spot...if it's...too soon....you can take it back."

"Seriously? Seriously."

"Well...you said...years, Mer. You wanted years before you were ready for this and it...hasn't been."

"I know that's what I said," she murmured, looking up at him. "But, Der, now that...I mean, it feels...it feels right. Or something. You feel...and I'm being kind of cheesy in my head so...I love you and...yes. I mean it. Yes."

"Cheesy in your head?" he laughed.

"Cheesy thoughts," she giggled.

"You should share," he sighed. "Because I spent the last 48 hours getting no sleep because I was terrified about asking you."

"Derek..." she sighed, standing on her tiptoes to kiss him lightly. "I love you. And I...this is it. This is really it and it's big and it's scary and I'm...I spend half of my time in this relationship completely freaking out but....you feel right. Hannah feels right. And I...I feel safe. This weekend...it wasn't about the sex. It wasn't. It was...it was about the moment afterward. When the world stops and it just...it feels so safe."

"Mer...." he breathed, kissing her back just as lightly. "We're getting married."

"We're getting married," she whispered, a tear trailing down her cheek.

"I love you so much," he murmured, feeling a tear splash against his own cheek.

"I love you too," she half-giggled, half cried as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"You're not allowed to tell anyone that I cried, okay?" he whispered, hugging her tightly.

"Can I tell everyone you completely spazzed and proposed to me in an airport security line?" she giggled, burying her face in his shirt.

"You can tell them that, that's our story," he murmured.

"Good," she whispered, squeezing him tightly.

"Oh Mer...."

"Hmmm?"

"The staring at the hospital...they all knew."

"What? How?"

"Mark."

"How the hell did Mark know? And why was he telling everyone?"

"He...well...all the brother-in-laws know. Not asking was driving me nuts and I wasn't sure if you were ready and after a couple of drinks it all came out and they actually suggested the trip. And then Mark decided to loudly tell Joe that I was popping the question."

"So everyone knew I was engaged before I did?"

"Everyone knew you were being asked...no one knew you were engaged until well...you and the airport."

"I hate Mark," she sighed.

"I told him I was going to kill him if you found out before I asked."

"Then it's probably a good thing I didn't," she whispered, squeezing him tightly. "We're getting married."

"I can't believe you said yes."

"I can't believe you asked in a security line."

"We'll have a good story to tell our grandchildren."

"We will," she giggled.

"And it beats telling Hannah we were naked in bed."

"Very true," she laughed. "And she's...she's okay with it?"

"She is," he grinned widely. "I told her and I expected...something. Instead...she's entirely excited. And she made sure your ring was the prettiest one in the entire store."

"How did you manage to make sure she kept it a secret?"

"I honestly have no idea. Pinky swore and crossed her heart but...I'm not actually sure. And she even managed to hide the ring."

"Wow," Meredith breathed, looking back down at the ring. "Wow."

"When?" he asked quietly.

"When?" she echoed.

"I'll marry you whenever you want me to."

"Oh," she breathed. "Um...I don't...a year?"

"A year is good," he nodded.

"Okay," she whispered. "A year. And...lawyer. We should...I can...I'm not thinking. I can't actually....we're getting married."

"We are," he breathed. "Adoption...should we...get going with it?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "Yeah I...I think so."

"Okay," he nodded. "Okay."

"We're going to miss our flight," she whispered.

"We are," he sighed. "We should...go."

"Yeah."

"Come on," he whispered, taking her hand. "We have to take our daughter out for ice cream."

"Ice cream?" she smiled, taking his hand.

"To celebrate," Derek grinned.

"To celebrate," Meredith echoed, squeezing his hand as they moved towards their terminal.

Derek smiled to himself as he felt the unfamiliar metal and stone of the ring cut into his finger. That had been an odd proposal, that hadn't even been a proposal he would ever want to brag about. But she said yes. She said yes and she didn't even want to wait years, she wanted to wait a year. Just one year and they'd be getting married. It was insane. He wanted to sit down and cry.

But instead he was walking through an airport, holding her hand. Holding his fiancée’s hand. His fiancée. He wanted to say the word out loud. He wanted to introduce her as Meredith, his fiancée. Because if the word sounded half as amazing out loud as it did in his head, he imagined he'd want to say it all the time. His fiancée. Meredith Grey was his fiancée.

I don't know how you do what you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I want to spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
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oncetherewasaway Dec 27 2007, 01:52 PM Post #14
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McEditor

 Disclaimer: This morning on Regis and Kelly Eric Dane was asked if Mark and Derek were going to have a romantic relationship...and he completely avoided the question. We giggled. If we owned the show the answer would be no...but oh it's good for a good giggle.

"Mer, I'm telling you, I had nothing to do with that," Derek laughed as they pulled up to his mother's house. They were arguing, he probably shouldn't be laughing but it was a good argument. One that had been brewing since they crew of the plane had congratulated them right before take off. Apparently word had spread around the airport.

"We got free champagne. We got free champagne because everyone somehow found out that we were engaged," she sighed, a smile on her face. "They announced it over the intercom, Derek. Welcome to flight 275 to Seattle, before we start on the technicalities, let's congratulate Derek Shepherd and Meredith Grey on their engagement. Somehow, they found that out."

"And it wasn't me," he grinned. "How could have even been me? I was sure you were going to say no. I wasn't even going to ask."

"Yeah, that's your story now."

"It's the truth," he groaned before laughing again.

"You probably told everyone. You probably went around telling everyone when I ran to the washroom. And then the entire airplane knew. Everyone. People we don't know...congratulating us."

"They found out from the intercom," he sighed. "Who probably found out from security. Not me."

"Security doesn't call ahead and tell them that kind of thing," Meredith rolled her eyes, giggling slightly. "Cheesy neurosurgeons do that kind of thing."

"I'm telling you, Mer, I had nothing to do with that."

"Unless you told security to call ahead."

"Mer...you were with me the whole time. Except for when you were in the washroom...at which point I kind of stood there with what I can only imagine was a dumb look on my face and the word yes repeating over and over in my head."

"You were whispering to the security guy right before you proposed," she turned to him. "You were probably telling him if I said yes to tell the entire airport."

"Or I was freaking out because he was about to show the entire airport that I had an engagement ring with me that you, my girlfriend, didn't know about."

"Oh," Meredith bit her lip. "Well...maybe."

"And even if I had planned on asking you...I was pretty sure you were going to say not yet. I wouldn't have even thought to tell him to do that."

"Okay, fine," she sighed. "But the intercom thing was...that was probably your idea."

"Mer....you did see my face right? I was just as shocked as you," he laughed.

"You did turn a very pretty color of red," she giggled.

"So did you," he smirked.

"I was contemplating killing you."

"I know you were," he smiled. "But then who would you marry?"

"Which is why you're still alive."

"Good to know," he laughed as they walked toward the door. "Mer, I swear on my mom's life...I had nothing to do with any of that."

"Well then your mom better not drop dead when we open this door."

"One would hope not. Kind of ruin our good mood."

"Just a little," she smiled widely, turning towards him and kissing him. "I love you. Even if you are cheesy and make people announce our engagement to entire airplanes."

"That wasn't me," he rolled his eyes. "But I love you too."

"Of course it wasn't, Der," Meredith giggled as he opened the door.

"Mom! Hannah!" Derek shouted looking around the empty entry way.

"Daddy!" Hannah shouted, running from the kitchen. "Meredith!"

"Hannah!" Derek smiled widely, enveloping his daughter in a tight hug. "We missed you."

"I missed you too!" she giggled as he gathered her up in his arms, resting her on his hip. "I made cookies and brownies and Nana showed me how to make pancakes but I can only make them if you or Meredith is there cause I'm really small and I can't be around the stove yet. But I can make them now. And Addie came and showed me my flower girl dress and guess what, Daddy?"

"What?"

"I get to wear ballerina slippers!" she exclaimed. "Isn't that really, really cool, Meredith?"

"Oh that is very cool," Meredith giggled, reaching forward to hug her tightly.

"Hi, guys," Mrs. Shepherd smiled, wiping her hands on a towel. "How was the trip?"

"It was great," Derek smiled.

"We had a great time," Mrs. Shepherd grinned, looking over at Meredith. "Hannah learned...Meredith Grey, is that a ring on your finger?"

"Oh...this...umm....yes," Meredith giggled.

"And does that ring mean what I think it means?"

"Yes, Mom, it does," Derek's smile widened. "Mer and I are engaged."

"You gave Meredith the ring!" Hannah exclaimed, climbing from Derek's arms to Meredith's. "Did Daddy tell you I helped, Meredith? Cause I did."

"He did tell me that," Meredith grinned. "Thank you, Hannah. It is very pretty."

"It's the prettiest in the whole wide universe!"

"It definitely is," Meredith nodded, blinking back some tears as she hugged Hannah close.

"I'm glad you gave it to her, Daddy," Hannah sighed dramatically. "I was trying really really hard not to tell."

"You did really good, Han," Derek nodded.

"When did this happen?" Mrs. Shepherd grinned as she grasped Meredith's hand gently to look at the ring. "It's absolutely beautiful. Congratulations, dear."

"Thank you," Meredith murmured. "And umm...over the weekend. He asked over the weekend."

"In Sonoma?"

"Well in the airport near Sonoma," Derek laughed.

"The airport?" Mrs. Shepherd frowned.

"In the security line," Meredith giggled.

"In the security line," Mrs. Shepherd shook her head. "Derek Michael Shepherd."

"Mom, it was perfect," Derek laughed softly. "I wanted to ask her all weekend, it was the plan and I kept chickening out. And then...the security guy wanted to look through my bag. It was...it was supposed to happen."

"And then he told the security guy to call the pilot and announce over the intercom we were engaged," Meredith giggled.

"I did not," Derek groaned, rolling his eyes again. "The security guy did that on his own free will. Probably to prove to me he wasn't a robot."

"That's his story," Meredith laughed, leaning over to kiss Derek quickly.

"Also known as the true story," Derek laughed.

"Well as long as you're both happy," Mrs. Shepherd smiled, tears in her eyes.

"Never been this happy before, Mom," Derek smiled, leaning over to kiss Meredith again, and placing a soft kiss on Hannah's forhead.

"Does this mean you're going to get married?" Hannah asked.

"It does," Meredith grinned.

"When?" Hannah grinned. "With Uncle Monkey and Addie?"

"No," Derek laughed. "We're thinking in about a year."

"That's far away," Hannah sighed. "Am I going to be a flower girl again?"

"We will have to talk about that," Meredith smiled. "I think by then you might be getting too old to be a flower girl."

"I'll be eight," Hannah announced proudly.

"You will be," Meredith nodded. "So we'll figure it out and find you a really special job for that day."

"Do you have a specific date in mind?" Mrs. Shepherd asked. "It's never too early to start planning."

"Not yet," Meredith shook her head. "We're still...I...shock, a little bit of...shock."

"We've only been engaged for about three hours, Mom," Derek laughed, rubbing slow circles into Meredith's lower back.

"Of course," Mrs. Shepherd smiled. "When you do start planning...Derek's sisters and I will be happy to help."

"Thanks, Mrs. Shepherd," Meredith smiled widely.

"We'll figure out more details soon," Derek nodded.

"Daddy, we have to go out for ice cream!" Hannah exclaimed.

"We do," Derek agreed.

"Daddy said we'd go out for ice cream when he gave you your ring," Hannah told Meredith.

"He told me," Meredith grinned. "Perfect celebration."

"We'll have a supper this week to tell everyone," Mrs. Shepherd cut in. "Of course, I imagine Mark won't be very happy with you, Derek. Just a week before he gets married."

"He already knows," Derek shrugged. "He didn't really seem to care."

"Mark didn't care that you were stealing his thunder?" Mrs. Shepherd raised an eyebrow.

"Well maybe he did. A little."

"A little?"

"He didn't say much. Just kind of...groaned. About me stealing his thunder."

"Of course he did," Mrs. Shepherd laughed. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised by this engagement at all. Whatever the one of you does, the other follows soon after."

"You have a point," Derek sighed.

"Oh, so you proposed to me because Mark proposed to Addie?"

"I proposed to you because I want to spend the rest of my life with you," Derek smiled.

"Yeah," Meredith smiled lightly. "Which is apparently when you're 110. You have high hopes."

"I do," he grinned. "Got to stretch out my time with you."

"I love you," she whispered, kissing him quickly.

"I love you too," he murmured.

"Daddy, ice cream time!" Hannah insisted.

"Yes, ice cream time," Derek nodded.

"Of course, the three of you want to celebrate," Mrs. Shepherd smiled, stepping forward to hug Meredith. "Welcome to the family, dear."

"Thanks, Mrs. Shepherd," Meredith whispered, returning the hug.

"I think it's time you can start calling me Mom, Meredith," Mrs. Shepherd laughed as she moved to hug Derek. "I'm very happy for you, Derek. She's perfect."

"I know she is," Derek murmured, hugging his mom tightly as he blinked back tears.

She hugged him for a few seconds longer before stepping back, wiping tears away quickly. "Now go. Celebrate."

"Going," Derek nodded, wiping at his own eyes.

"Bye, Nana!" Hannah called as she wrapped her arms tightly around Meredith's neck.

"Bye Hannah," Mrs. Shepherd smiled warmly.

"Bye, Mrs.---Mom," Meredith stammered as she carried Hannah out of the house.

"She just called you Mom," Derek whispered as he watched Meredith walk away.

"I did tell her to, Derek."

"I know...I just didn't think she'd actually do it."

"She's apart of the family now," Mrs. Shepherd smiled warmly.

"She is," Derek nodded. "She's adopting Hannah."

"She is?" Mrs. Shepherd's eyes widened. "When was this discussed?"

"She brought it up a couple of weeks ago," he sighed. "And now that we're engaged...we're putting it into motion."

"Derek, that's wonderful," his mother breathed, a tear slipping down her cheek.

"I know," Derek whispered, blinking back some more tears.

"Hannah adores her," she told him. "I don't think I've heard a name mentioned more than Meredith's. And it will be good for Hannah to have a mother."

"I know," Derek nodded. "I never thought she'd actually have one. Even with Mer...I figured she'd be a step-mom...but she wants this. Meredith wants this."

"You thought she didn't?"

"No," Derek shook his head. "She's..she didn't want any of this when I met her."

"She was young, Derek," Mrs. Shepherd nodded. "She was young, her life was hard. She didn't have the knowledge you did about relationships."

"I know. I understood it, even when it was driving me mad, I always got where she was coming from. She learned fast though."

"She loves you."

"She does."

"I think that's enough for her right now," Mrs. Shepherd sighed. "I can't imagine she's entirely ready, or has learned it all. And I'm sure inwardly she's panicking a little right now...but she loves you. That's enough for now."

"It is," he nodded. "I didn't even think she'd say yes and she did. It's okay if she's panicking. I got my yes."

"And now you're going to marry her," Mrs. Shepherd smiled widely. "And your family is waiting for you, Derek."

"They are," he smiled. "I'll see you later, Mom."

"Good bye, Derek. Congratulations."

"Thanks Mom," Derek nodded as he headed out the door and toward his car.

"Come on, Daddy!" Hannah called. "Ice cream time!"

"Coming!" he called back, wiping his eyes again as he headed toward his family. He had considered them that for months; him, Hannah and Meredith had been a family for a while now, but now it felt official. She was going to be their daughter, legally, not just his. And she was going to be his wife. Somehow she had agreed to marry him. He wasn't even sure it had sunk in yet but it felt good.

You're my peace of mind in this crazy world.
You're everything I've tried to find



Disclaimer: The people that own Grey's Anatomy suck with their striking and their refusing to edit. Okay, maybe they have a point but this whole possibly really short season just isn't jiving with us. So they suck. If we owned the show we wouldn't. Well maybe we would...but we'd at least kick Sandra's butt back to work.


Meredith really didn't want to work. She didn't want to go to work. She didn't want to look over interns and catch up on charts and be a doctor. Because being a doctor might mess with whatever it was she was feeling right now. Or the high she was on. It was quite possible she was high. Which then led to really cheesy thoughts about being high on love which just made her want to kick her own ass.

At least if she was high on love she wasn't alone. Her boyfriend, no her fiancé, was holding her hand as they walked toward the hospital, a grin on his face that made her think of a little kid at Christmas or something. He definitely looked high. Which was probably bad as people were going to have to trust him to cut into their brains today. He didn't look stable enough to do that.

Her fiancé. It was a crazy word. A word that was basically on repeat in her brain, which might actually explain the whole smiling like an idiot thing. Because she really couldn't stop smiling. Neither of them looked stable enough to save lives. Or anything else really. Because they were engaged. And they had spent all day and all night giggling. Because they were engaged.

"I don't want to work," Derek sighed, still smiling.

"Me neither," she giggled.

"I've never not wanted to work before," Derek laughed. "I mean...I've said it before. But right now...I want to actually run off and play hookey all day."

"Hookey?" she giggled again, squeezing his hand tightly.

"Yes," he nodded. "We could go make out in my car or something."

"Seriously?" she laughed. "Are we in high school?"

"I kind of feel like it," he grinned, kissing her quickly.

"Really? You were engaged in high school?"

"No," he laughed. "This is a first. An amazing first."

"Good to know."

"But really...don't want to be here," he shook his head.

"Me neither," she sighed, leaning into him.

"We should have called in sick."

"I took off Saturday."

"I know," Derek sighed. "I'm just not ready to share you."

"Share? Am I a toy?"

"Yes," he smirked.

"You're an ass."

"That you're stuck with forever."

"Forever," she smiled widely.

"I like that word," he grinned. "Even more than fiancée."

"Yesterday you said fiancée was your favorite word."

"I changed my mind," he shrugged.

"And now it's forever," she nodded as they walked into the hospital.

"Yes, forever," he nodded.

"I think I still like engaged," she sighed. Which was weird. She had never really liked the weird. She found it a stupid word. Of course, she had never actually thought she'd be engaged so...still, weird. "Definitely engaged."

"That is a good one," he grinned, kissing her quickly. "I hate the word doctor."

"You love that word," she giggled. "Especially since you are one."

"Today...I hate it."

"It will be done soon."

"Not soon enough," he sighed. "I'm going to need some on call room meetings with my fiancée."

"You're dirty," she giggled, kissing him quickly. "You could always page me like old times."

"I plan to," he smirked. "I got spoiled this weekend."

"You really did," Meredith shook her head. "Seven times a day is not happening again anytime soon."

"We could try," he winked.

"Derek!" she gasped. "Work. Charts. Saving lives. Interns. We can't...I mean...we could but we can't. Because you have to operate. And I have to do charts and...we can't."

"See, this...this is why I didn't want to come to work," he sighed. "I much prefer our happy newly engaged bubble."

"We're still in a bubble."

"We are," he grinned.

"I never thought I'd be in a happy newly engaged bubble," Meredith giggled.

"Neither did I," he shook his head, kissing her quickly.

"I love you," she murmured against his lips.

"I love you too," he breathed.

"You have to go save lives," she whispered, leaning into his chest.

"I do," he whispered.

"Let's go home."

"That's an excellent idea."

"Come on," she sighed, grabbing his arm and leading him towards the door as his pager went off.

"Damn it," he groaned.

"I hate pagers," she frowned.

"So do I," he sighed. "We could pretend we didn't hear it. Would that make us bad people?"

"That would make you a terrible, terrible person," she shook her head, smiling slightly. "Someone could be dying."

"I should care about that," he nodded slowly.

"Derek!"

"Fine," he rolled his eyes. "Going."

"Good," she smiled, kissing him quickly. "I love you."

"I love you too," he grinned. "Have fun showing it off."

"I was thinking I would take it off, keep people guessing," she laughed.

"I'll kill you if you take it off," he frowned.

"You'd kill your fiancée?"

"If you took of my ring."

"Then who would you be with forever?"

"I would be very very lonely."

"What if I have to scrub in?"

"If you have to scrub in you can take it off," he smiled. "Just slip it onto your chain or something."

"I will," she mirrored his smile, kissing him again. "I'll see you later."

"See you," he grinned.

"Bye, Der."

"Bye Mer," he whispered, kissing her quickly before heading down the hall.

She stood in the hallway for a second, that big stupid grin on her face again. They were never like this at work. They were Dr. Grey and Dr. Shepherd. They were never kissy and lovey and giggly. But now they were. Now they were and she was engaged. Which was insane. It was all completely and totally insane. But great. And perfect. Really incredibly perfect.

She was happy, entirely happy. She was pretty sure there wasn't an inch of her body that wasn't happy. Which was insane. And impossible, bodies weren't happy. Brains could be happy but there was no way her baby toe was happy. But it felt happy, her baby toe definitely felt happy. She was actually tempted to skip toward the locker room. Or something. Skipping seemed appropriate.

Except then she would run into Bailey who would probably think she was high or something and she'd be sent home. Which would only be a good thing if Derek was sent home too. Of course, he was like this too. He was happy and bouncy and in a bubble. They were in a bubble. Their happy newly engaged bubble. So if she got sent home for being high, Derek would too.

And then they could really enjoy the bubble. Hannah was at school, where she was probably telling all of her friends about the wedding because she couldn't stop talking about it, so they could go home and be in the bubble together in the same place. It didn't feel as bubblish when he was off saving lives and she was stuck doing charts. It actually felt kind of entirely wrong.

So maybe she should skip. And she could tell Derek to skip. And then they could skip and Bailey would think they were high and send them home. Or tell the chief to send them home. And then they could skip home. Of course, at this point she was pretty sure she had lost her mind. She didn't skip. Meredith Elizabeth Grey didn't skip. Even if it did sound appealing.

She would just continue walking calmly to the locker room and pretend that everything was normal, entirely completely normal and that she hadn't just had the most incredible weekend of her life. The trip and the sex and the food and the entirely awkwardly perfect proposal in the airport. McDreamy had proposed in an airport because he was too scared to do it the right way. It was perfect.

People were looking at her. They were looking and whispering and she was completely expecting they were whispering about the ring. The really incredible ring that her daughter had picked out with Derek. They were talking about it and she was...she was okay with it. Because she was engaged. She was engaged to Derek. "Hi guys," she greeted her friends as she walked into the locker room.

"Hey Meredith," Izzie smiled.

"Hey, Iz," she grinned widely. Too widely. They would know something was up. Or they might think she was high or something. She couldn't grin that widely.

"Oh you look happy," Izzie grinned. "The weekend away was amazing, wasn't it?"

"Completely," Meredith sighed, taking her jacket off.

"Mer...what is that?" Izzie frowned.

"What's what?" Meredith giggled.

"Oh...just the rock on your fingers," Izzie smiled, grabbing Meredith's hand.

"Oh...that," Meredith giggled again.

"You're engaged!" Izzie smiled widely, pulling Meredith into a tight hug.

"Yeah, I am," Meredith nodded, hugging Izzie tightly, the big stupid grin coming back.

"That's amazing, that's so entirely amazing," Izzie breathed. "I told them...I knew a weekend away could lead to this and Cristina swore but I knew it. I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks," Meredith breathed. "And it wasn't the weekend so much as...a security guard."

"It was...what?" Izzie frowned.

"The guy at the airport," Meredith giggled. "It was...Derek chickened out and the guy wanted to check his bag and he had the ring so he grabbed the ring and just kind of asked."

"Oh, that sounds adorable," Izzie sighed. "Odd but adorable."

"It was...it was...I don't know," Meredith grinned. "Perfect.'

"Have you set a date?" Izzie asked, as she studied the ring carefully.

"Um...no...not yet," Meredith shook her head quickly.

"Barbie, stop staring at the rock," Cristina cut in.

"It's...I mean, it's...it's fine," Meredith sighed. "People stare at it. It's fine."

"You've been staring at it, haven't you?" Izzie laughed.

"Yeah," Meredith giggled. "Kind of. I mean, it's big and it's there and it's...I mean it's kind of heavy. Not really heavy just...weird. Good weird."

"Did he have some cheesy speech?" Cristina asked.

"I...honestly, kind of," Meredith sighed. "Something about...dying when he was 110 years old in my arms."

"Seriously?" Cristina frowned.

"Yeah," Meredith nodded. "It was...I mean...cheesy I know but amazing and perfect."

"I expected worse from him," Cristina nodded, grabbing Meredith's hand from Izzie. "Congrats or whatever. I'm not going to hug you."

"I'd be scared if you did," Meredith giggled.

"Good," Cristina nodded. "You didn't cry, did you?"

"I...um...no."

"Oh god, you did," Cristina rolled her eyes.

"Only...not...not a lot."

"Of course you cried," Izzie grinned.

"But only a little," Meredith sighed. "Not like big crying. Just...I mean it was amazing and...I wasn't expecting it.'

"Did he get down on one knee?" Izzie asked.

"Yeah."

"Wow," Izzie breathed.

"Yeah, it was," Meredith smiled slightly.

"I'm happy for you," Izzie smiled.

"Thanks, Iz."

"And I'll help. Anything you need....I would love to help."

"Oh um...Derek's mom and sisters...I mean, they're going to help and...but, thanks, Iz."

"Still...I'll help anyway I can...I can help them. I love weddings."

"You would," Cristina rolled her eyes, turning back to her locker.

"Cristina will help too," Izzie smiled.

"What?" Cristina turned quickly. "I don't do weddings, Barbie."

"Of course not," Izzie rolled her eyes. "But it's Meredith's wedding. She needs our help."

"I...you guys don't have to," Meredith shook her head. "I mean, thanks. But Derek's mom and sisters and you're probably really busy so if you don't want to..."

"We want to," Izzie smiled. "We're your family, Mer."

"Oh," Meredith breathed. "Um...okay."

"Good," Izzie grinned as her pager went off. "Okay, I gotta go. Congrats, Mer."

"Thanks, Izzie," Meredith nodded as she slipped her scrub shirt over her head.

"I'll see you later," Izzie smiled, disappearing from the room.

"So, um..." Meredith sighed as Cristina pulled her hair back in a ponytail.

"You're kind of glowing," Cristina sighed.

"Glowing?" Meredith raised an eyebrow.

"You are," Cristina nodded. "Which...I didn't actually know what that meant but yeah...it's kind of sickening."

"Yeah, I know," Meredith giggled. "But good sickening. I know it's lame but I'm...I mean, I'm happy."

"Good," Cristina smiled. "Just...I'm not helping you pick out some lame ass wedding songs or flowers. And I refuse to wear pink."

"Definitely no pink," Meredith shook her head quickly. "That would be...definitely no pink."
"And I don't need to hear any details about how sweet and romantic Derek is."

"Have I ever given you details about how sweet and romantic Derek is?"

"No, but he's your fiancé now or whatever."

"Fiancé," Meredith breathed. "He's my fiancé."

"Don't tell me you're going to cry."

"I'm not going to cry," Meredith took a deep breath.

"Oh you are."

"I'm not," Meredith shook her head. "I'm fine. I haven't...I'm not goign to cry. I don't cry."

"Of course not," Cristina rolled her eyes.

"I don't."

"Apparently now you do."

"I'm not crying."

"I'm still not going to hug you."

"I would be scared if you did."

"So you said," Cristina nodded. "I am happy for you or whatever. You and McDreamy...you're good together."

"Thanks, Cristina," Meredith smiled widely.

"And I'm going to leave before this gets too mushy," Cristina sighed, heading toward the door.

"Probably a good idea," Meredith giggled.

"Later, Mer," Cristina sighed leaving the room.

Meredith grinned happily as she leaned against the wall. She was engaged. She was getting married. There was stuff to plan and things to do and...she wasn't supposed to be this person. This wasn't what she had ever really wanted. Except now she had it. Now she was getting married. She was getting married to Derek, the love of her life or whatever. And life was good.

Long before I knew
Someone warm like you
Could make my dreams come true
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oncetherewasaway Dec 27 2007, 01:54 PM Post #15
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McEditor

 Disclaimer: Strikes suck ass. We'd hate to own the show right now...walking picket lines does not look fun. At all. Of course Paddy joined them today...and that would be fun. I am sure he looked really cute with this picket sign. We don't own the show but we support the writers.

People were still looking at her. She knew that. She was walking down the hallways and the entire time people were staring at her and then breaking into whispered conversations. She should probably be annoyed with it. That would have made sense. But she was actually too happy to be annoyed with anything. She was engaged. She was engaged to Derek. They could look all they wanted.

And they looked. They looked and they grinned and some of the nurses looked like they might actually pass out from whatever they were so excited about. She had been signing a chart earlier when Nurse Debbie had gasped so loud Meredith had been waiting for someone to ask her if she was okay. But instead Debbie stared. And stared. And that was okay. Because she was staring too.

She couldn't actually stop looking at the ring and figured it was probably a good thing that she wasn't cutting today. She would have had to put it on the chain around her neck and then would have spent the entire surgery wanting to look at it. So definitely good that she was just walking around and doing charts and doing other random things that didn't need concentrating.

She couldn't believe she was one of those girls. She was one of those girls who stared at her ring and loved her ring and wanted to tell everyone about her amazing ring. Not that she liked that people grabbed her hand sometimes and stared at the ring. That was annoying. The flight attendants had done it on the flight down. But still...she was one of those girls. And she wasn't supposed to be.

"Meredith Grey!" Lexie shouted from down the hallway.

"Yes, Dr. Grey?" Meredith grinned, turning towards her sister, already excited to tell someone else. Or have someone else notice.

"Let me see your hand!" Lexie ordered, grabbing for her hand.

"Ow, Lex," Meredith winced slightly, the smile still on her face as Lexie pulled her hand hard.

"It's true. You....you're engaged. It's true."

"Yeah it is," Meredith giggled.

"How did you not tell me?" Lexie asked.

"It just happened, Lex."

"Meredith, the entire hospital knows. The entire hospital has known since Friday. You know how many times I denied the rumors?"

"Well, they were rumors then. Or kind of were. I mean, Derek didn't actually propose until yesterday so...yeah, rumor. Kind of."

"And you didn't tell me? He didn't tell me?"

"I...Lexie, he proposed yesterday. We went out for ice cream with Han and then we went home and then we came here and...I was going to tell you. I was. I mean, I'm engaged. I'm getting married. So I was definitely going to tell you. And...why would he tell you?"

"Meredith, I found out through the hospital grapevine," Lexie groaned.

"I'm sorry, Lex," Meredith frowned. "And the rumors were really that bad?"

"Yes," Lexie nodded. "All weekend all I heard about was how McDreamy was going to propose. And I kept saying it wasn't going to happen, that you weren't ready and that Derek wasn't going to push that."

"Well...he did," Meredith sighed happily. "And I'm...ready. I'm ready."

"You're engaged," Lexie sighed. "Engaged."

"I know," Meredith grinned, lookind down at her ring. "I know."

"Where is he?"

"Derek?" Meredith frowned. "Um...in his office, I think. Or in surgery. Why?"

"Because we need to go see him," Lexie sighed, grabbing Meredith's arm. "So I can yell at both of you."

"Yell...Lexie, I'm new at this whole engagement thing but I thought you get congratulated or hugged or whatever. Not...not yelled at."

"Well that stuff will come...but first, definitely yelling," Lexie nodded, pulling her down the hallway.

"You're going to yell at your bosses?"

"No, I'm going to yell at my sister and her fiance."

"Oh," Meredith breathed, the grin returning. That stupid amazing grin that made her look completely high. She loved that word.

"You're smiling because I said fiance. Who are you and what have you done with my sister?"

"I....I'm not smiling because you said...I'm smiling because...I don't know why I'm smiling. But I'm definitely not smiling because you said what you said."

"You are," Lexie shook her head as they approached Derek's office. "This is...I can't actually believe this."

"Believe what?"

"You and Derek...married...you and...married, Meredith."

"Not yet," Meredith shook her head quickly. "Not...just engaged."

"Engaged leads to married."

"I know," Meredith grinned. "I know. We're getting married. In a year. We're getting married."

"A year?" Lexie asked.

"Well...I mean, yeah. A year. That's...we agreed on a year. Why? Is that too soon? Or too long? Because I thought a year was good but I wasn't sure and I thought...I mean, it's a year. A year is a long time. Three hundred and sixty-five days long time. Fifty two weeks. Twelve months. I thought that was good and he's happy with it and...a year."

"Mer, it's good," Lexie nodded as they reached the office. "Do I have to knock?"

"I never do."

"Good," Lexie nodded opening the door. "Derek...you proposed to her."

"What?" Derek frowned, looking up from his laptop, a grin slowly spreading over his features when he saw Meredith.

"You two are engaged. A nurse told me."

"We are engaged," Derek nodded, standing up to put his arms around Meredith, pulling her close and pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"Why is it I found out from a nurse?" Lexie asked.

"Lex, I already told you, I was going to tell you," Meredith sighed, cuddling closer to Derek.

"Yeah yeah," Lexie rolled her eyes. "Derek, all weekend everyone kept saying that you were asking and I kept saying no."

"Yeah," Derek sighed, running his hand through his hair. "That was Mark's fault."

"Why didn't you tell me you were asking?" Lexie frowned.

"Was I supposed to?"

"I am her sister."

"Yes," Derek nodded slowly.

"And you...do you have any idea how much I helped you two get together?" Lexie frowned.

"And I'm forever grateful for that," Derek grinned, wrapping his arms tighter around Meredith.

"All the more reason you should have told me!"

"Lexie...why would he tell you?" Meredith asked, kissing Derek quickly. "He...I mean, he bought the ring ages ago and..."

"You bought the ring ages ago?" Lexie asked, eyes wide.

"Yes," Derek grinned. "Weeks ago actually. Hannah went with me."

"And no one bothered to tell me. Me."

"Lexie..." Derek shook his head. "I didn't tell anyone. Except for Mark. Which was clearly a mistake, not that I should be surprised."

"But...you...I told everyone it wasn't happening," Lexie sighed. "Everyone here was talking about it all weekend and I kept saying it was impossible, that I would know and that you weren't ready. I told everyone it was a stupid rumor."

"And you would have been right if I hadn't gotten my bag checked," Derek laughed.

"What?" Lexie frowned.

"Derek proposed in the security line at the airport," Meredith giggled.

"What?"

"He proposed while his bag was getting checked."

"Seriously?" Lexie giggled softly.

"Seriously," Meredith echoed her sister's giggle. "He chickened out and then proposed because the guy practically forced him."

"That's adorable," Lexie sighed.

"He didn't force me," Derek frowned. "I made the decision entirely on my own."

"Of course you did," Lexie rolled her eyes.

"You didn't want me to see the ring," Meredith laughed, kissing him quickly.

"I was going to ask anyway," Derek smiled against her lips.

"You were not," she murmured, grinning widely.

"Eventually I was," he laughed softly.

"Of course you were."

"I was," he sighed. "I just needed time."

"And then the security guy forced you."

"It wasn't forced. It was gently pushed."

"Forced."

"Pushed. Gently."

"You keep telling yourself that, Der."

"You two are so...cute," Lexie murmured, smiling widely.

"I know," Derek laughed, kissing Meredith deeply.

"You...Mer...I didn't think you were ready," Lexie shook her head.

"I didn't think I was either," Meredith sighed, resting her head against Derek's chest. "But this feels...it feels good. And right."

"Oh Mer," Lexie breathed, wiping at her eyes quickly.

"You're crying," Meredith giggled.

"Just...you're so happy. When you met him...I had to fight with you to even give him a chance. You...you were so sure you couldn't do this and you....you were so...not happy and you didn't....and now you're getting married.

"You're rambling," Meredith smiled, a tear slipping down her cheek that Derek quickly reached down to wipe away.

"Yeah, I'm rambling," Lexie nodded. "And you...you're getting married, Mer."

"We're getting married," Derek smiled widely.

"That's so...amazing."

"We know," Meredith nodded. "Still yelling?"

"No...no...definitely not," Lexie shook her head. "But Derek, let go of my sister so I can hug her."

"But she's my fiancee," Derek smirked as he let go of Meredith.

"You can hug her for the rest of your life," Lexie laughed softly, reaching forward to hug Meredith tightly. "Wow."

"Wow," Meredith breathed back as she hugged her sister back. Rest of her life. She was going to be with Derek for the rest of her life. Forever. And old Meredith would have freaked out. Old Meredith would be drinking and running for the hills and...but now she was...she wasn't old Meredith. She was new Meredith. Or better Meredith. Better Meredith who wanted forever.

"I am so happy for you," Lexie whispered.

"Thanks, Lex," she murmured.

"I can't believe you two are actually getting married," Lexie sighed as she pulled away.

"I don't think it's sunk in yet," Derek sighed happily.

"It will," Lexie nodded, pulling him into a tight hug. "Thank you."

"For?" he whispered.

"Not giving up," Lexie mumured. "I know it wasn't always easy but you...you stayed. And now she's...thank you."

"She's always been it for me," Derek breathed. "Leaving was always a non-option. She's the love of my life."

"I know," Lexie breathed. "Congrats."

"Thank you," he smiled, pulling back to pull Meredith back into his arms.

"You two are...you're kind of glowing," Lexie giggled.

"That's what Cristina said," Meredith laughed.

"We're happy," Derek sighed, kissing Meredith quickly. "Entirely happy."

"Stupid happy," Meredith murmured, leaning further into him as she wrapped her arms around his waist.

"So plan, what are the plans?"

"Plans?" Meredith asked.

"For the wedding."

"I...we haven't...yet."

"You have to," Lexie nodded. "I'll help."

"Oh," Meredith sighed. "Derek's mom and sisters...and Izzie and Cristina...they're all helping."

"Help is good," Lexie nodded. "It's big, Mer, and it's not easy. You need the help."

"Yeah, but...I mean, how big can it be?" Meredith sighed. "Dress. Church...or not church. A church would be silly. But a dress and Derek has to do a tux and...that's it."

"Oh, you have a lot to learn," Lexie giggled.

"What do you mean?" Meredith frowned.

"Flowers, colours, songs, food, cake, photographer, music...it's a long list, Mer."

"Songs? Why...why would there need to be songs?" Meredith bit her lip. "I mean...what for?"

"First dance, Mer," Derek murmured.

"First...first dance," Meredith nodded slowly.

"They play a song, we dance, everyone watches," Derek shrugged.

"Okay," Meredith sighed. "So songs and...okay. Well, Derek's mom and sisters and Izzie and Cristina are helping and...it won't be that bad. Easy. Really easy."

"Oh Mer," Lexie giggled. "And I'm helping. I'm your sister."

"And um...I mean, there's a maid of honor or something, right?" Meredith bit her lip.

"There are," Lexie nodded. "A maid of honor and bridesmaids."

"And the maid of honor is a big deal?"

"Yes," Lexie nodded. "They take care of everything basically."

"Okay," Meredith nodded slowly. "And...I mean, you're my sister. And Cristina would be really crap at it so...um...you can be the maid of honor or whatever."

"I...you want me to be your maid of honor?" Lexie breathed.

"Yeah I...I mean, you're my sister."

"I...yes, of course," Lexie nodded, wiping at her eyes again.

"Okay," Meredith breathed. "So...maid of honor."

"That's a plan," Lexie grinned.

"Having a maid of honor is a plan?"

"Well it's better than nothing."

"I've only been engaged for twenty four hous, Lex," Meredith giggled.

"Most girls have their weddings planned when they're five," Lexie sighed.

"All of my sisters did," Derek nodded. "Except Sophie."

"Oh...is it...I guess...I'm me and I never thought. I wasn't supposed to get married," Meredith murmured.

"And now you are," Derek whispered to her, his hand moving to rub her lower back.

"Now I am," she breathed, looking up at him.

"I love you," he murmured, dipping his head down to kiss her.

"I love you too," she whispered against his lips.

"We're getting married," he breathed, a huge grin on his face.

"We are," she giggled softly.

Once I thought my innocence was gone
Now I know that happiness goes on
That's where you found me
When you put your arms around me
I haven't been there for the longest time




Disclaimer: So this strike thing is entirely scary. Katie is terrified Supernatural won’t make the cut at the end of the tunnel, Alicia is terrified Pushing Daises won’t be back (Katie’s scared of that too), it’s just big and scary. If we owned the show, we’d still be scared. But at least we’d have someone to comfort us in the meantime. Oh, Paddy.

She hated when she had the day off and Derek didn't. She really and completely hated it. She really hated it because it was the first time in a week she had the day off. She had the next day off as well, but that's only because it was Mark and Addison's wedding. So she wouldn't even get to see Derek until the reception. Which seemed completely stupid and unfair.

They were in their bubble still, at least it still felt like a bubble and it didn't seem fair that for two days in a row their bubbles were in entirely different places. She wanted to see him. She wanted to cuddle up next to him and kiss him and do some more giggling about the fact they were getting married. They had done a lot of that in the last week, insane amounts of it actually.

Hannah joined in too, sometimes. She would crawl into bed and just laugh with them. They were this entirely happy family in a bubble. A totally happy bubble. And it was only going to get better. Because they were meeting with the lawyer next week to file the petition for her to adopt Hannah. And they were engaged. They were engaged and getting married and she was adopting their daughter.

Which they still had to actually talk to Hannah about but that would go fine. Hannah loved this, she loved the happiness and the comfortable family unit they were slipping into. Meredith let a lone giggle escape at the idea of family. She had been living with them for months but this was different. They were actually going to be a family, the Shepherd family and it was perfect.

She was going to be a mom and a wife which was...insane. Insane and hilarious and great. Really really great. And now she was giggling again. She was giggling at nothing in her entirely empty house while her fiancé was at work and their daughter was at school. And she was giggling. It probably meant she was finally losing her mind. Being engaged was making her crazy.

Which she should probably be concerned about but there was a very good chance her fiancé was sitting in his office at work and laughing to himself. Or whistling, Derek had been whistling a lot recently. He might be whistling. Or talking to someone about her. A couple of days ago she had caught him telling a patient all about how he had proposed and how entirely perfect it had been.

She had tried to be annoyed with him. She really had. She had tried to roll her eyes and call him cheesy but instead she had giggled and showed the patient's wife the ring. And then giggled some more. Because they giggled a lot. They giggled and they talked about it. She couldn't count how many times his sisters had begged her to retell the story. Or how many times Sophie made fun of him.

She didn't care though. It had been the perfect proposal. Completely spontaneous with less than perfect timing and less than perfect location, and it had been completely them. She loved hearing the story again even if it sometimes made her wonder what had come over her. She wasn't this girl. She wasn't the girl that giggled over weddings and showed off her ring, and yet she was acting like she was.

She wasn't this girl. She wasn't supposed to this girl. She hadn't play with Barbies like Lexie apparently had and marry her Barbie off to Ken or GI Joe or whatever. Hannah did that all the time. But she hadn't. She didn't even know what went into planning a wedding. Not that she was worried about that right now. She could plan a wedding later. Right now, she just wanted to giggle.

The doorbell rang and she bit back a groan. Someone was here and unless it was someone she could dispatch of very quickly the giggling would have to temporarily stop because if her and Derek had learned anything in the last week it was that people tended to look at you odd if you were giggling over nothing. Not that they were but most people still didn't seem to get it.

She let out the smallest of the giggles as she made her way to the front door, trying to think of who would possibly drive out this far in the middle of the day. She seriously doubted it was Derek's mom. Derek's mom usually came by for Hannah or to see Hannah. And Susan usually called before she randomly showed up. She tried to wipe the stupid grin off her face as she opened the door. "Lex?"

"Mer! Good, you're here," Lexie grinned. "We didn't actually think to call but I knew you had the day off."

"We..." Meredith frowned as another car pulled up and Molly and Susan got out. "What...I don't...what are you guys doing here?"

"We wanted to see you," Lexie shrugged, letting herself into the house.

"You...why?" Meredith sighed, closing the door as Molly and Susan walked in.

"Just because," Lexie shrugged.

"Oh, um...okay," Meredith bit her lip. "Hey, Susan. Hey, Molly."

"Hey Meredith," Molly grinned. "I don't think I've ever even been here."

"Oh," Meredith nodded. "Well...here it is. Mine and Derek's house. And Hannah's."

"It's nice," Molly smiled.

"Thanks," Meredith sighed, frowning when the doorbell rang again. "I'll be right back." She went back towards the door, the frown on her face deepening when she opened the door to reveal Derek's sisters walking up the steps, Mrs. Shepherd already at the door. "Mrs....Mom. What...what are you guys doing here?"

"We came to see you," Mrs. Shepherd shrugged.

"All at once?" Meredith breathed.

"Yes," Mrs. Shepherd nodded. "Were you busy?"

"I...no," Meredith shook her head. "I've just been...I mean, I have the day off and I was just...Lexie's here. My sister. And Molly. And Susan, my step mom."

"Good," Mrs. Shepherd smiled.

"Good?" Meredith breathed and then turned to the Shepherd sisters. "Um...come in. Yeah...they're in the...come in."

"Hey Meredith," Sophie smiled as she walked in. "You have alcohol in this house, right?"

"Um...wine. Why?"

"You're going to need it."

"Why?" Meredith frowned as she followed them in. "What...did you guys plan this? I mean, I don't think you did because you don't even know each other but you're all here and apparently I need alcohol."

"Well actually...Derek gave me their phone numbers," Lexie smiled.

"Derek...why?"

"Because we have some things to discuss, Meredith," Mrs. Shepherd sighed.

"Things?"

"Wedding plans," Kathleen grinned.

"Wedding..." Meredith nodded slowly. "Okay um...wedding plans. But first...I mean, have you guys...no, you haven't. Um, Mrs. Shepherd, this is my step mom, Susan Grey and my sisters Molly and Lexie. Susan, Molly, Lexie, this is Derek's mom and his sisters Kathleen, Nancy, Colleen and Sophie."

"Nice to meet you all," Mrs. Shepherd smiled, hugging Susan quickly.

"It's nice to meet you as well," Susan smiled widely.

"And you're the one I talked to on the phone, right?" Lexie asked Kathleen.

"Yes," Kathleen smiled. "And I'm not even entirely sure how I managed to get everyone here at once."

"Derek's getting married, we make time for that," Colleen laughed.

"Oh definitely," Sophie grinned. "We figured Der would be single forever."

"Der...why?" Meredith frowned.

"Because of Hannah," Nancy shrugged.

"Oh," Meredith nodded slowly. "Just...he's...he had to find someone eventually."

"He did," Mrs. Shepherd smiled. "And he found you, dear."

"Yes," Meredith nodded. "And now you're all here. All of you. In our house."

"We are," Kathleen grinned. "Lexie, you didn't tell her why we're here?"

"I was getting to that," Lexie giggled.

"Okay..." Meredith nodded. "Why...why are you all here? At the same time."

"Meredith, we came to help plan the wedding," Lexie smiled.

"The wedding," Meredith nodded. "It's...I mean, it's a year from now."

"Oh Mer," Kathleen sighed. "That means we have to get on it now. We need at least a year to pull it all together especially since we have to deal with yours and Derek's busy schedules."

"It can't take that long," Meredith shook her head. "I mean...song. Okay. And dresses and...it can't take that long."

"Of course it takes that long," Nancy sighed. "To even get a good hall, caterer or band you have to book at least a year in advance."

"A...a hall?"

"For the reception," Molly nodded.

"Reception."

"Big party part, Mer," Sophie laughed softly. "The actual fun part."

"I know what a reception is," Meredith nodded quickly. "I know. I just...I mean, a year in advance? Seriously?"

"Definitely," Kathleen nodded.

"Oh," Meredith bit her lip. "Okay."

"Have you and Derek discussed a date?" Mrs. Shepherd asked.

"Um...no," Meredith shook her head. "Not really. Just...a year."

"Well we need to set a date first then," Susan nodded.

"Okay," Meredith sighed. "Shouldn't...I mean...Derek. I'm marrying Derek and shouldn't he be here?"

"He doesn't want to be here," Sophie laughed. "Just tell him what day to book off work."

"Seriously?"

"It's your day, dear. Derek understands that," Mrs. Shepherd nodded.

"But...I mean, he's getting married too. I just thought he'd want to be here. To discuss things. Like dates. And halls. And songs."

"Oh you should run it all by him before making anything concrete," Kathleen nodded. "But the actual planning...we can do that. Give him the honeymoon."

"The honeymoon?"

"Yes, Mer, the part that involves going away and having sex on the beach for two weeks. The best part of all this," Sophie laughed.

"Sophie Anne Shepherd-Thompson," Mrs. Shepherd shook her head.

"Mom, it's true," Sophie rolled her eyes. "Wasn't Kath conceived on your honeymoon?"

"Okay, I thought we agreed we'd never discuss that again. Or we get to talk about where you were conceived, Soph," Kathleen grimaced.

"Lets not and say we did," Sophie shook her head. "Derbear is getting married...more important issues to discuss."

"Derbear?" Lexie giggled.

"Old family nickname for him," Sophie laughed. "Suits him, doesn't it?"

"Completely," Lexie grinned. "As his future sister-in-law, can I reserve the right to call him Dr. Derbear at work?"

"Yes but not in front of anyone but me," Meredith giggled. "And well Mark and Addison."

"Oh, I don't know," Sophie grinned widely. "That might earn him some serious points in the OR."

"I like it better than that stupid nickname Cristina gave him," Lexie sighed.

"McDreamy?" Meredith smiled.

"McDreamy?" Sophie giggled. "Seriously?"

"Yeah," Meredith breathed, twisting the ring on her finger. "It...I mean he can be an ass sometimes but it suits him. McDreamy. Even if it is stupid cheesy."

"That went right to his head, didn't it?" Kathleen asked.

"Yeah, it did," Meredith laughed.

"Just what he needed," Colleen rolled her eyes.

"As interesting as this all is to find out that interns gave my cocky brother a whole new reason to think he was the best thing since fire," Nancy sighed, "we have to plan a wedding."

"We do," Lexie nodded. "And we need a date. What month are you thinking, Mer?"

"Um...whatever...I mean, it's April now so...I don't know," Meredith bit her lip. "We said a year."

"You don't want to get married in April," Kathleen frowned. "So...May or June?"

"Oh you don't want May either," Colleen shook her head. "I got married in May. The weather in completely unpredictable."

"So June?" Meredith asked.

"June's a beautiful month to get married," Mrs. Shepherd smiled, turning to Susan. "My husband and I married in June."

"Thatch and myself got married in late May," Susan smiled. "But June is a lovely month, Meredith."

"Okay," Meredith took a deep breath. "June then."

"June," Kathleen nodded as she wrote something down. "We need a date."

"Like an actual concrete date?" Meredith sighed. "And Derek's really not supposed to be here?"

"If you want to wait to talk to him you can," Kathleen sighed. "But I know my brother...if you told him to meet you at the church tomorrow, he'd be there in a tux entirely ready to marry you."

"And, Mer," Sophie sighed, "trust me, they don't care about details. They really really don't. Brian planned the honeymoon. Or he thought he did."

"Thought?" Meredith frowned.

"I hinted very heavily at Aruba," Sophie giggled.

"Oh...I don't...I have no idea where I want to go," Meredith frowned.

"I went to Italy," Colleen grinned. "Of course, you mention food and Marty responds immediately."

"Italy..." Meredith nodded slowly. "I never even thought..."

"Of course, there's always a cruise," Nancy supplied. "Peter and I loved ours."

"Cruise," Meredith nodded slowly. "Derek would like a cruise...all that water and stuff."

"There's always Hawaii too," Kathleen smiled. "Not that Ethan and I spent much time taking in the sites."

"Too much information," Sophie groaned. "Mer, just let Derek take care of it. Make sure he knows camping isn't an option though."

"And he has to be original about it," Lexie said. "He can't take you to wine country again."

"And don't worry about taking two weeks. I would love to steal my granddaughter for that long," Mrs. Shepherd nodded.

"Okay," Meredith sighed. "Honeymoon. I um...I'll tell Derek to plan the honeymoon."

"Good," Kathleen nodded, scribbling in her notebook again. "We still need that date."

"Sometime in June," Meredith shrugged.

"Meredith, you need an actual day," Colleen sighed. "So you can start booking things."

"I um...a Saturday is probably best right? I mean it's a weekend and people aren't working. Well, normal people aren't. Surgeons are but normal people and...a Saturday. So a Saturday in June. Sometime."

"Okay...that leaves us the 7th, the 14th, the 21st or the 28th," Kathleen nodded looking at her palm pilot.

"Um..." Meredith bit her lip. "The...the fourteenth sounds good. I guess. I mean, unless I shouldn't or...no, the 14th. Let's do that."

"Fourteenth it is," Kathleen nodded, scribbling in her book again.

June fourteenth. She was getting married June fourteenth which was kind of a big deal and huge and...she should probably tell Derek that. Or kill him. Kill him because he had a ton of family. Family who was all about the weddings and everything. But telling him would probably work best. She could kill him later. Or kill his sisters. "Okay."

"We need a location," Lexie smiled.

"Oh we do," Susan smiled. "There are some beautiful places to get married in Seattle, Meredith."

"Oh...location," Meredith nodded slowly. "Are you sure...Derek...we should talk to Derek about this."

"Mer, trust me, Derek's going to be good with whatever you want," Sophie smiled. "You can tell him everything tonight and he'll probably just nod."

"But...he's getting married too, he should...opinion or something," Meredith murmured.

"Why don't you call him really quick?" Kathleen suggested. "I talked to him earlier and he's stuck with paperwork all day. Call and ask him his opinion on flowers and place settings and location and linens?"

"Place settings? Linens?" Meredith frowned.

"Don't forget the colors and the band," Colleen sighed. "Or do you guys want a DJ? And the seating arrangements, those are hell."

"Mer...you may want to breathe," Sophie sighed gently.

"I...I'm breathing," Meredith whispered, hands shaking. "I'm breathing. I'm...I'm fine. Really."

"It's not as scary as it sounds," Sophie murmured. "It kind of all falls together."

"But it's...I just thought...dress and tux and married," Meredith stammered. "That's what I thought. I don't even know...but I'm fine. Really, completely totally fine. This is good. I'm getting married and I have to plan things. Big things. I have to plan things so I can get married and I'm fine. I'm breathing."

"It can be that simple if that's what you want," Lexie shrugged.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously," Lexie nodded. "It's how you want it, Mer."

"I...I don't know," Meredith sighed. "I mean, big weddings are kind of big and scary but...I mean, I don't want the whole princess thing. I don't. That's...that's kind of stupid and I don't see the point."

"Okay, no princess thing," Sophie nodded. "Kath, write that down in your book."

"Meredith, you look very pale," Susan frowned, reaching for Meredith's hand. "Is this what you want? You can be honest with us and if it isn't what you want, then we can leave and you and Derek can get married at City Hall."

"No," Meredith shook her head quickly. "I don't...no, not City Hall. I want...something, I don't...something bigger than City Hall."

"Okay," Susan smiled. "Do you want something small and private here on the land? Or would you like a church wedding?"

"Church? Can we...no, I don't think...definitely not a church," Meredith shook her head. "Maybe...here. Here would be nice."

"Here," Sophie nodded. "Kath, we have a location."

"Here," Kathleen nodded. "It will be gorgeous."

"We could always do a tent for the reception," Colleen smiled widely.

"A tent would be good," Mrs. Shepherd nodded. "With the weather here we'll need something."

"We could play with the lighting too," Molly said. "If it's an evening wedding, the lighting could really be something."

"It could be gorgeous," Susan nodded. "And very simple."

"Simple," Meredith said quickly. "Simple is good. Not really simple. Just...simple. Simple is good."

"Derek wouldn't want anything too fancy anyway," Sophie nodded. "It's not him."

"No, it's really not," Meredith sighed. Her head was spinning. She was pretty sure everything in her head was a big jumbled mess. Because there was lighting and flowers and linens and place settings and colors and...she hadn't thought it would be this hard. She had thought she could go buy a dress and that would be it. But there was a ton of stuff. And a lot of people. There were a lot of people helping.

"Who are going to be your bridesmaids?" Lexie asked.

"Bridesmaids?" she sighed. Another thing to worry about. Bridesmaids.

"I'm your maid of honor but you're going to need bridesmaids," Lexie nodded.

"Oh, um..." Meredith bit her lip. "I guess um...Izzie. And Cristina, even though she'll probably kill me but yeah...Cristina. And um...you, Molly. I guess."

"Good," Sophie nodded. "Kath, write that down and I think we're done for today."

"One more thing we probably need to know," Kathleen looked up from her book. "How many guests are you thinking, Meredith?"

"Oh umm...I don't...I don't know," Meredith shook her head.

"Big? Small?" Nancy asked. "I mean, you'll see Mark's wedding tomorrow. He invited most of our family."

"How...how many is that?" Meredith asked.

"Mom, estimate on the Shepherd/Maloney clan?" Sophie sighed after a second.

"Hmm...well...it depends on how far you want to go into it," Mrs. Shepherd sighed. "But...I'm sure we could do it within 100."

"One...one hundred?" Meredith breathed.

"We can go smaller, dear," Mrs. Shepherd nodded. "It's entirely up to you."

"A hundred." She was going to pass out. Completely pass out. Because she was getting married. She was getting married on June 14th here on the land and there would be more than a hundred people here. Which was ridiculous. Completely ridiculous. Really, really ridiculous and maybe...they could cut it down. Because she still had her friends and family and then...they could cut it down.

"Talk to Derek about it," Lexie nodded. "You two figure out who you want there."

"Derek," Meredith nodded. "Derek...I'll...I'll talk to Derek."

"Breathe, Mer," Sophie murmured. "We're done for today."

"We are," Kathleen nodded, closing her notebook and then getting out her palm pilot again. "What day is everyone free for wedding dress shopping?"

"Wedding dress shopping?" Meredith asked.

"Of course," Kathleen smiled. "You're going to find your dress, hopefully. And they can have it altered and all that for you. You need to do it now, Mer."

"Oh okay," Meredith nodded slowly.

"Don't worry, that's the fun part," Sophie grinned. "And we'll all be there."

"Fun," Meredith whispered.

"Definitely," Kathleen smiled. "Meredith, Derek was telling me you're meeting with the lawyer Wednesday. What's your next day off after that?"

"Oh umm...the Monday after that," Meredith sighed.

"Okay," Kathleen nodded slowly. "I have a patient at ten-thirty, but other than that, I am free."

"I have a shift but I'll get someone to take it," Lexie nodded.

"I'm good," Sophie nodded.

"I can be there," Colleen nodded.

"I have a scheduled cesearean that morning, but I can make it," Nancy nodded.

"I'm good," Molly smiled.

"And of course I can make it," Mrs. Shepherd smiled widely.

"So can I," Susan nodded. "So it's settled."

"Wedding dress shopping," Meredith sighed. "Um...Hannah's off school that day. I think. Teacher's day or something. So...I mean, can we bring her or do they not...is she allowed to come?"

"Definitely," Mrs. Shepherd nodded. "She'd love to be included."

"And you should probably see if Izzie and Cristina can make it," Lexie nodded quickly.

"Cristina...I don't know...she's not really into shopping and weddings," Meredith shrugged. "But I'll ask...both of them."

"Good," Sophie grinned. "So is that it, Kath?"

"It is for now," Kathleen nodded.

"See, Mer, that wasn't that bad, was it?" Sophie smiled sardonically.

"It was...I'm a little...I'm good," Meredith nodded.

"Of course you are," Nancy nodded as her pager went off. "And that's me. I'll see everyone tomorrow."

"See you, Nance," Sophie nodded.

"Bye, Nancy," Meredith sighed.

"We should all go," Lexie sighed. "You look like you need time to breathe."

"Oh um...you don't...I'm...breathing is good," Meredith stammered.

"Mer...don't freak," Lexie murmured, leaning closer to her. "Derek...just remember, you're marrying Derek. That's the end game in all of this."

"Derek," Meredith smiled. "I'm marrying Derek."

"Exactly," Sophie nodded. "It will all be worth it, trust me."

"I know," Meredith grinned, looking down at her ring as she felt that big stupid feeling coming over her again. The giggle. She was going to giggle. "I know it's worth it."

"Good," Lexie nodded. "You'll be fine."

"I'll be fine," Meredith breathed. "He's...he's Derek and we're getting married and we're a family and...I'm fine."

"Of course you are," Sophie smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow, Mer."

"Bye, Sophie," Meredith smiled, getting up to walk everyone out. "I'll see you guys tomorrow."

"Of course," Mrs. Shepherd nodded, hugging her tightly.

"Bye, Mom," Meredith murmured.

"Bye Meredith," Lexie grinned as she headed out the door.

Meredith sighed as they all left, leaning back against the door. That had been...an ambush. She had been ambushed and it had been crazy. Completely crazy. She had been in her bubble. Her bubble of happiness and engagement rings and giggles. And now her head was swimming and her bubble suddenly didn't feel as bubblish anymore. Not that it had popped, it just felt different.

It was big. Planning a wedding was apparently big and she had no idea how big it was. It was kind of huge and sounded complicated and she wasn't exactly sure if she could handle this. But she was marrying Derek. She was going to stand on their land and promise to love Derek forever and be with him forever. It seemed insane, it seemed crazy and kind of completely perfect.

She had a feeling she was getting herself into something completely huge and scary. She had a feeling everything was going to drive her nuts. But she was marrying Derek. She was marrying him. And it was...it was perfect. Insanely and completely perfect. She'd figure this out. She could plan a wedding. She could plan their wedding. Especially if the endgame was being his wife.

You’re here, now my heart’s unbroken
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oncetherewasaway Dec 27 2007, 01:55 PM Post #16
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 Disclaimer: Grey's is on in ten minutes. And bad things could happen. Or they might not. And we know these bad things have to happen to lead to good things but still...bad things. So yeah, we don't own the show. Simple as that.

Addison looked entirely gorgeous. Meredith actually kind of felt a little breathless looking at her. Addison looked like a bride, a completely entirely perfect bride. She looked beautiful and glowing in the intricate sparkly dress. She was the girl from the magazines, she was the bride everyone wanted to be. And she was the bride that Meredith didn't think she could even imagine looking like.

She didn't think she could even try to look like Addison. Because the dress looked heavy and the veil looked annoying and her hair was completely perfect. Meredith had worked for an hour to even try to get her hair look perfect today but it was just her hair. Her normal curly hair. She was completely sure that she could never pull off the magazine bride, even if she had wanted to.

And she didn't want to. She definitely didn't want to do the magazine bride. She couldn't do this. This was insane, this was entirely too big to even try to do. The church was full, the rather large church was entirely full and she had a feeling that instead of dancing all night she was going to spend it being introduced to Derek's relatives. Who would want to be at his wedding and she couldn't have them all.

There were flowers every where, and candles. And Addison had twelve bridesmaids who all looked perfect and model-like. Even Hannah looked like the flower girls in magazines. She was actually starting to wonder if maybe this was some kind of photoshoot and not an actual wedding. Because if this was an actual wedding, City Hall was starting to sound damn tempting.

She wanted something special, she wanted something a little bigger than city hall to mark the beginning of hers and Derek's real life together. She needed something to mark that. But not this. This was nothing she had ever dreamed of. Which probably was odd, it was definitely odd that she had never dreamed of something that was big and fancy and perfect. She had never dreamed of even getting married.

Which probably explained why she hadn't imagined a Cinderella wedding. She hadn't thought of getting married. Ever. Not even when she was younger. It had just never entered into her head that she could get married one day. And now she was. And everyone was on her about linens and bands and food and table settings and...she wasn't sure she could do this. Not the marriage this, but the Addison wedding this.

It wasn't her. Hundred of eyes were on Addison. Hundreds of eyes weren't even looking at the groom, they were glued to Addison. Even she couldn't look away with Derek standing right there, and she usually wanted to look at Derek. But her eyes were glued to the entirely perfect bride that was starting to cry in this wierdly beautiful way. If Meredith cried at her wedding, she'd just be a blubbering mess.

She wondered if there was a class or something on how to be the perfect bride. If she could go to a class and they could teach her to look amazing in a sparkly gown with beading or diamonds or whatever. If they could teach her how to breathe in a veil. If they could teach her to cry in a weirdly beautiful way. She guessed there probably wasn't and she was just screwed. It was probably a good idea to warn Derek in advance that she couldn't be the perfect bride.

And she had no idea how he was going to take it. He was smiling today, he looked completely thrilled and she could just imagine how he'd be all Dereky afterward going on and on about how perfect this all was. Because Derek got that she wasn't perfect, he loved that she wasn't perfect. And that was good. But he also was cheesy and did the romantic thing and he'd probably want the perfect wedding.

He'd probably want all of this. The candles and the flowers and the hundreds of people. She had meant to talk to him about it the night before but Mark had come home with him entirely freaking out in a weird Mark-like way about only sleeping with one woman for the rest of his life and Derek had just fallen into bed before she could even say anything. But he would probably want this.

She wanted to give it to him. She had never dreamed of getting married and he definitely had so she wanted to do what she could to give him what he had probably always dreamed of. She just wasn't exactly sure how to do that. She wasn't going to look like the perfect bride and she didn't even know twelve people to stand beside her unless she asked Derek's sisters.

And if she cried, her mascara would run and her nose would get red and her eyes would be all puffy. Which would then make her the entirely not perfect bride in all of their pictures. She was screwed. She was completely and totally screwed. He should know. He should know that she couldn't have hundreds of people staring at her, all completely and totally dressed up in evening gowns and black ties.

This wasn't her. She wasn't even supposed to be the girl that got married but then there had been Derek and Derek definitely made her change that because she couldn't imagine not being with him, not being married to him. She wanted to marry him. She had to marry him. Except she didn't know how to the big white dress thing. This wasn't her. She couldn't do this.

She tore her eyes away from Addie to look at Derek, standing completely still next to Mark, along with the other eleven groomsmen who Mark apparently didn't know. Derek was in tails. He had tails and an ascot on, and somehow whoever had done their hair had managed to make it look even more perfect than usual. Derek looked entirely happy. He was smiling and doing his best man duties. He looked like he was loving this.

And he looked good, he looked amazing in his tails and his ascot. He could do the perfect groom. He could actually probably do the perfect anything but he definitely looked like the entirely perfect groom and she hated to not give him this. He would want this, he would want the entirely huge fairy tale and the perfect crying and some gorgeous huge reception with everyone he had ever known.

So a City Hall type thing was completely out of the question. And he probably would want a church wedding. Or maybe not. He didn't go to church. He hadn't been to church since he was a kid. But a church was part of the perfect wedding with the perfect flowers and the perfect candles and the perfect hundreds of guests and the perfect dress with the perfect crying. She had no idea how to be perfect.

She had to talk to him. She had to make it clear to him that she had no idea how to do this really big wedding and look perfect when everyone was looking at her. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to do this. She wanted to marry him, she wanted forever with him but this was big and huge and she didn't want this many people. She didn't want their day to be this public and looked at.

She sighed quietly as she looked back at Addie and Mark. They were both crying. They were both crying and they both looked entirely perfect. She had to stop thinking about this. She had to stop thinking about how entirely unperfect she would look on her wedding day and just watch the ceremony. Watch Mark slip a ring on Addie's finger. Except she couldn't stop thinking about her wedding.

She didn't want a wedding like this. She knew that, she didn't actually want anything like this. But she wanted Derek to be happy, she wanted Derek to have whatever he wanted. His family had made it clear, they had never thought he was going to get this, he never thought he was going to get this. And it seemed wrong not to give him this. They had to talk or something.

At some point they definitely had to talk. Probably not today, but at some point she had to tell him she couldn't be the perfect bride behind the perfect veil. She took a deep shaky breath as Mark raised Addison's veil and kissed her on the lips gently, which made her giggle ever so slightly. This wasn't Mark. Not the usual Mark anyway. It was funny. Or it would be if she could think.

It was done. The entirely perfect wedding was done and she didn't want to imagine how the reception would be. It would be big too and it would be perfect. And she would have to try to stop thinking or something because Derek would be able to tell something was wrong and there was no way she could talk to him right now. Not when he was in a great mood about the perfect wedding.

She had to congratulate them now. She had to congratulate the perfect bride and groom on their perfect wedding and try not to ask Addison if there were classes or something to be a perfect bride. And then there would be pictures. Lots and lots of pictures so that everyone could remember the perfect wedding. She was starting to sound bitter. Which was bad.

She looked down at the ring she had taken the habit of always playing with. The ring made her feel better. At least it usually did. Except for this time she didn't feel any calmer and she could hear Derek's distinct voice in her head telling her that she was sounding bitter and having problems breathing because she was freaking out and that she shouldn't be freaking out. He'd tell her to breathe.

So she had to breathe. She had to breathe and not freak out. Not that she was freaking out, she wasn't. Not really anyway. She was just kind of...entirely uncalm. But she wasn't freaking out. She wasn't freaking out as she watched Hannah skip ahead of Derek who was walking with the entirely perfect and model-like bridesmaid. She was not freaking out.

She would just go and see him and he'd give her that smile and probably hug her and that would help, that would definitely help. Not that she needed the help. She just neede to talk to him and figure this out. And figure out who was going to give because she didn't want this, she couldn't do this and Derek would want this so they had to compromise or someone would have to give. They just had to talk.

She got up and followed Sophie and Brian down the aisle towards the doors where Addie and Mark were standing, completely ready to accept congratulations, looking completely perfect. She couldn't sound bitter when she congratulated them. That would be bad. That would be really, really bad. "Congratulations, Markie," she heard Sophie whisper as she hugged her psuedo brother tightly.

They would have to do this, they would have to stand together and wait for people to walk up to them and hug them and tell them congratulations. And they'd huge her. She didn't do hugging. Well she did but not with strangers and Derek would want strangers. Or his family, at least he would want his family and she didn't know any of them. And they'd want to hug her.

"Congrats, Addie," she found herself saying, though she was completely afraid to hug her. Because that could ruin the dress. It really could. And Addison looked like a magazine, ruining the magainze would be bad.

"Thanks, Meredith," Addison smiled, pulling her into a hug anyway.

"You look...really beautiful," she said, opting not to use the words perfect or magazine-like.

"Thanks," Addison grinned. "You look gorgeous. I expect you and Derek to disspear pretty soon."

"Oh, um...thanks," Meredith breathed, smoothing her hands over the black dress Lexie had helped her find. "And um...we won't. Promise. It's your wedding and that would be...it would be wrong."

"You say that," Addison rolled her eyes, gesturing her head. "How he's looking at you says differently."

"Oh," Meredith giggled as she looked over at Derek, who was holding Hannah on his hip, looking at her in an entirely dirty way.

"It's okay," Addison laughed.

"It is?" Meredith smiled.

"Of course," Addison nodded. "Mark would want Derek sneaking out for sex."

"Damn right I do," Mark chuckled as he turned to Meredith. "If I had a dime for everytime I snuck out in the middle of one of the sisters' weddings for sex..."

"Mark...wedding day, it's your wedding day," Addison groaned.

"Sorry, Addie," he sighed, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "Those days are done anyway. Unless you want to sneak..."

"No," Addison shook her head. "It's our wedding, we can't sneak out. Derek can live the dream for you."

"But it's our wedding," Mark frowned. "Our day. We can do whatever we want."

"We get to have sex non stop for the next two weeks," Addison pointed out.

"I knew there was a reason I married you," Mark grinned.

"Of course," Addison rolled her eyes.

"You, um, lots of people waiting," Meredith sighed as she started to move past them. "Congrats."

"Thanks Grey," Mark nodded, grabbing Meredith to hug her quickly.

"Keep your hands off my ass, Sloan," Meredith giggled as she hugged him.

"Shep would kill me," Mark laughed.

"I would kill you," Addie corrected.

"Yeah yeah," Mark rolled his eyes.

Meredith smiled as she moved past them to lean against the wall, trying to catch her breath. They were cute and happy and perfect. Which was good. Really, really good. She wasn't jealous of them. She just couldn't help but wonder how they did it. How they managed to look like a magazine together. Like they should be on the cover of a magazine instead of just getting married.

"If you make me wear tails I'm not going to marry you."

"What?" she turned quickly to Derek who had somehow managed to find his way next to her.

"If you make me put on this get up we're not getting married," he shrugged.

"Oh," she nodded slowly. "Um. Okay. No tails or whatever. Because married...we're getting married and you not being there would be bad and we...no tails. Okay."

"You okay?" he frowned slightly, reaching over to push a curl away from her face.

"Yeah," she nodded. "I'm good. Fine. Great. I just...where's Hannah?"

"Off with some of her cousins," he sighed. "What's wrong?"

"What? Nothing's wrong. Nothing. I just said...I'm fi---good."

"Okay, pretending doesn't work with me," he shook his head. "Talk."

"Derek...we're at a wedding," she murmured. "An entirely perfect amazing magazine wedding. Like, seriously, I swear I saw this exact wedding in a magazine Izzie gave me. A magazine to find a dress or whatever. I saw it. I know I did. With a bride in a gorgeous dress looking completely perfect and crying in a really beautiful way and everyone looking...perfect. And we're at a wedding so this isn't the time to talk about this. Because I'm fine. I'm fine at the perfect wedding."

"So this has something to do with our wedding," Derek nodded slowly, stepping closer to her. "What's going on, Mer?"

"I can't cry in a beautiful way," she sighed.

"Okay," he frowned. "And that means what?"

"It means...it means we're not going to have a perfect wedding. Which I know that's what you want. You want me to look like a magazine bride with like a million bridesmaids. You want flowers and candles and you want me in a really amazing dress that looks really heavy and big and poufy. But beautiful poufy not scary poufy. Just...kind of poufy. You want perfect and I can't cry in a beautiful way."

"Mer...what? I...what are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about our wedding, Derek. About flowers and candles and tents and linens and dresses and bridesmaids and tuxes and suits and...everything. I'm talking about our wedding and how it's going to be not perfect because I'll have mascara all over my face and there won't be hundreds of people. Because I don't want hundreds of people staring at me. At us. So no perfect wedding, which isn't fair to you. Because that's what you want."

"Meredith, I want to marry you."

"I know that," she sighed. "I know you want to marry me. But you've always wanted to get married and now you're getting married and you want the big perfect wedding. I know you do. You want it and I can't do that. I can't be perfect. Unless there are classes. Classes to be a perfect bride and then a perfect wife. If there are classes I'll take them but I don't think there are."

"I don't want you to take classes to learn to be perfect," he shook his head. "I want you to be...you."

"If I'm me our wedding will be a mess. A complete mess."

"Okay," he shrugged. "I can take a mess."

"You..." she frowned. "Derek...you want a perfect wedding. You want a wedding like this."

"Why would I want a wedding like this?"

"Because you're...you."

"The last thing I want this. This is quite possibly some wierd variation of hell."

"Seriously?" she breathed.

"Seriously," he nodded. "I'm entirely uncomfortable. There's too many people and...Addie's dress has way too much fabric. I plan on getting you naked fast."

"Derek!" she giggled.

"Mer...this wedding is beautiful," Derek sighed. "But it's not us."

"No it's not," she agreed, leaning into his chest.

"I want the perfect wedding. I want the perfect Meredith and Derek wedding."

"Slightly cheesy, Der," she whispered against his ascot.

"But entirely true," he sighed. "I just want to marry you. Whenever and wherever you want me to. Church, beach...hospital even, I just don't care."

"So June fourteenth on our land would be..."

"You have plans?"

"Your sisters ambushed me," she sighed. "Literally, ambushed me. Lexie, Molly, and Susan too. And next Monday we're going wedding dress shopping. But there are plans and...I mean, they said...are you pissed I have plans?"

"No, of course not," he shook his head, smiling lightly. "You want to get married on our land?"

"I...I think so," she nodded. "Unless you don't. But I thought...I mean, do you want to get married in a church?"

"No," he shook his head quickly. "I mean...we could. If Mark can we can...but no. Our land would be perfect."

"I'm pretty sure God is groaning about Mark getting married in a church," she giggled.

"Probably," he laughed. "It's kind of...absurd."

"Just a little," she smiled, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist. "So June fourteenth on our land is okay?"

"It's perfect," he smiled.

"Good," she sighed. "Your sisters said you didn't care and I...I mean, do you want to be there for all the decisions? They said you wouldn't and I...but if you do..."

"Mer, it's your day," he shook his head. "I'd like to be kept in the loop but you can do this however you want."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously," he nodded. "I trust you with this."

"Okay," she smiled slightly, nuzzling against him. "But you do have a job, you know. In the whole wedding thing."

"I do?"

"You do," she nodded. "Honeymoon."

"Honeymoon?" he grinned. "I can do that."

"I know you can," she giggled. "But, Der?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm not going camping on my honeymoon."

"I was not going to take you camping for our honeymoon."

"Just making sure," she giggled.

"You're okay now?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I'm okay now."

"Good," he nodded. "Because you look damn sexy and I can't ravage you if you're freaking out."

Meredith opened her mouth to say something just as Hannah ran up. "Meredith! Did you see me?"

"I did," Meredith grinned. "You were perfect."

"I was the best flower girl ever!" Hannah grinned. "Everyone thought I was the prettiest!"

"You were," Derek grinned.

"That's because I'm a princess today," Hannah giggled, wrapping her arms around Meredith. "And see my ballet slippers? And my pretty hair?"

"Both very pretty. You look gorgeous, Han," Meredith smiled.

"I know," Hannah nodded. "Aunt Addie said they're going to take pictures, Daddy. Pictures of me."

"Pictures of everyone," Derek laughed softly. "But yes, pictures of you."

"Because I'm the prettiest."

"You are," Meredith nodded.

"And I still have flowers in my basket," Hannah announced, holding up her basket of pink rose petals.

"Very cool," Derek nodded. "We'll leave it in the car at the party so you can keep them to put in your room."

"Can I put them on the floor, Daddy? Like I did at the church?"

"Well they'll get kind of messy," Derek sighed. "We can put them on your dresser though."

"There's my favorite flower girl," Mark boomed as he picked Hannah up suddenly. "I was looking everywhere for you."

"You were, Uncle Monkey?" Hannah asked.

"I was," Mark nodded, reaching into his pocket. "Because Aunt Addie and I have something we want you to wear in all the pictures."

"You do?" Hannah exclaimed, jumping slightly.

"Yeah," Mark grinned, opening a velvet jewelry box to reveal a tiny silver charm bracelet. "You can't lose it though, Hannah Banana."

"Oh..." Hannah breathed. "It's so pretty."

"It is," Mark nodded, holding it up. "And look at the charms. That's a flower because you were the flower girl, and those are bells because something about wedding ideas, who the he--heck knows. And that, that right there is a monkey."

"A monkey for you," Hannah grinned.

"Exactly," Mark nodded, kissing the top of her curly head.

"Thank you, Uncle Monkey," Hannah exclaimed, wrapping her arms around him.

"You're welcome, princess," Mark grinned, hugging her tightly.

"You have to be careful with that, Han," Derek smiled as she looked at it.

"I will," she promised eagerly. "Meredith, put it on me, please."

"Of course," Meredith nodded, taking it out of her hands and attaching it around her tiny wrist.

"Very pretty," Mark nodded as he put her down. "Okay, now go and tell Aunt Addie I'll be ready for pictures in a second, okay?"

"Okay," Hannah nodded, running off.

"I got a couple presents for you too, Shep," Mark grinned as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a couple condoms.

"Seriously? Condoms?" Derek frowned.

"If you're going to be fucking Grey at my wedding, I want you to be safe about it," Mark chuckled.

"I carry my own," Derek rolled his eyes, taking them from Mark's hand anyway. "But...condoms? I thought I was getting some touching gift to thank me for being best man."

"Oh yeah," Mark laughed. "I'll give that to you at the reception, man."

"Should I be scared?" Derek laughed.

"Nah," Mark sighed. "Addie went with me. I couldn't have any fun."

"Good," Meredith nodded.

"For the record though, I already have the entertainment for your bachelor party booked," Mark grinned lewdly.

"Mark, I didn't even tell you what I wanted," Derek groaned. "Or the date of the wedding."

"Soph told me the date of the wedding," Mark shrugged. "And trust me, man, you want this entertainment."

"I don't want to know," Meredith shook her head. "If you guys want to....I just don't want to know."

"Don't worry, Grey, I'll keep him in line," Mark laughed.

"I'm not worried about him getting out of line," Meredith giggled, leaning into Derek.

"What, me?" Mark frowned. "Grey, I'm a married man. I took the plunge before Shep here."

"Which I'm not even sure that happened," Derek shook his head.

"You always were a late bloomer. I was fifteen, you were almost eighteen. Makes sense to me."

"Seventeen isn't a late bloomer," Derek groaned. "How many times have we had this conversation?"

"And I always win," Mark laughed.

"Because you're an idiot."

"Yeah, yeah," Mark rolled his eyes. "And now we better go get our pictures taken before Addie comes and kicks my ass."

"Good idea," Derek nodded.

"You think she'd kill me if I cut off the tails?"

"Probably, yes," Derek laughed. "I've considered it."

"Aw, but they're so cute," Meredith giggled.

"I told you, tails at our wedding and it's off," Derek groaned, before kissing her quickly.

"No tails at our wedding," she murmured against his lips.

"None," he agreed. "Everything you want and nothing more."

"Okay," she smiled, kissing him again. "Now go take pictures in your tails and ascot."

"Going," he smirked as he pulled away.

"Love you," she called quietly after him as he and Mark moved back towards the sanctuary.

Meredith smiled as she leaned against the wall again. He didn't want this. He didn't want the big perfect wedding and he was happy with the date and the location and he just seemed happy. He didn't care if she was the perfect bride from a magazine or if everyone he knew was there. That was good, that was really good. She could give him that, she could give him a wedding that was them.

You will always be beautiful in my eyes.
And the passing years will show
that you will always grow ever more beautiful in my eyes.


Disclaimer: Meredith stayed. We're not sure how long she stayed...maybe 5 minutes, maybe an hour, maybe all night. But she stayed. He gave her an exit, and she didn't take it. Which is amazing. And may make you think we own the show as we'd so do that. But we don't.


Derek grinned as Meredith pulled the throw blanket over them, her legs tangled in his. She was exhausted. She was tired and exhausted and she was cuddling incredibly close to him, her left hand holding his right tightly. The metal and stone that was starting to become familiar was cold against his hand, but he pulled her closer, his arms moving to hold her closer.

It had been a crazy week at work and with their lives. Someone probably should have told them that planning a wedding and going through the adoption process at the same time as being busy surgeons probably wasn't the best of ideas. He was pretty sure Meredith wasn't sleeping that well at night and he couldn't actually blame her. Or help her in anyway. It was hell. A very happy hell.

She was already talking about the wedding dress shopping next week, already sounded more than slightly afraid of it. And to make matters worse, they were meeting with the lawyer tomorrow to file the adoption petition. She was worried, she was tired, and she was already stressed by everything. But he didn't think he'd want his life to be working out any differently.

They were entirely happy. She was stressed and he was stressed because of her stress but the second one of them said married, or looked at the ring or mentioned the word fiancee both of them turned into this warm puddle of giggles. They didn't even have to be around each other. At the mere mention of her name from anyone he had to fight the urge to giggle in public. Everything felt perfect.

Now they just had to go through this adoption thing. Really go through it while planning their wedding. He knew it wasn't going to be easy, but he knew damn well this would all be worth it in the end. Of course, they still needed to talk to Hannah. Meredith talked about it all the time, about how Hannah needed to know things were about to change. And he knew they needed to talk about it, he just couldn't figure out how.

Every other time he had tried to have a big scary talk with Hannah it had ended badly. And this one was huge. This one was going to change everything and give Hannah the mother she so desperately deserved. Not that he was sure that part had even sunk in. Hannah was going to have a mom. Not a step mom, not a fake mom but an actual real mother. Meredith was going to be a mom.

He pulled Meredith closer to him, his breath hitching in his throat at the thought of Meredith being his daughter's mother. He had never even thought it was possible, never actually thought Meredith would take this step, this huge step. He was incredibly happy she was, but he still couldn't quite believe it. "Hmm," she sighed, nuzzling his chest as her eyes closed slightly.

"Tired?" he murmured, as he ran his fingers through her hair.

"Yeah," she breathed.

"Feel free to fall asleep," he whispered.

"It's not even eight," she murmured.

"That's okay," he shrugged. "Fall asleep, I can always carry you upstairs."

"We're supposed to be doing the family thing," she sighed, turning over in his arms to watch Hannah play with her doll house.

"Well Hannah is doing the playing thing, you can do the sleeping thing and I'll do the watching thing."

"And that's the family thing?"

"It can be," he nodded. "We're together."

"We are."

"So sleep. You need it for tomorrow."

"No," she shook her head. "I need to be perfect. I need to be a person who isn't dark and twisty."

"Mer...you're not dark and twisty."

"I kind of am. Or I used to be. I'm not a person who was ever supposed to have kids."

"You have a kid. And you giggle at the word fiancee. That's hardly dark and twisty."

"That's true," she giggled.

"You love Hannah. Hannah loves you. You've been her mom for a while. There's nothing to worry about."

"Hmmm," she nodded, a frown overtaking her features. "Der?"

"Yeah?"

"Hannah's not...I mean, Hannah's...does she ever play with the mom doll or whatever?"

"Oh," he frowned, looking over at his daughter. "I don't know. I've never paid that close of attention."

"I haven't either," she sighed. "I just...the mom's doll on the floor. And it doesn't mean anything. I know I'm not a psych major and that psych is crap and everything but it's probably...I mean, it's probably nothing."

"Mer...you obviously think it's something," Derek murmured.

"It's just...weird. Right? It's weird."

"A little," he nodded.

"But it's probably...it's probably nothing."

"I don't know," he sighed. "Han?"

"Yeah?" Hannah asked as she put the baby doll in its crib.

"Why aren't you playing with the mommy doll?"

"I don't know," Hannah shrugged.

"You don't know?" Derek raised an eyebrow.

"They don't have a mommy," Hannah explained.

"Oh," Derek nodded slowly. "Because you don't have a mommy?"

"No, cause they don't."

Derek took a deep breath. Mommies seemed to be a good place to start this conversation. The one that him and Meredith had agreed that he would lead and he had no idea how to actually approach. But it was happening, or beginning to happen tomorrow and he couldn't just leave his daughter out of the loop. "Do they want a mommy?" he asked gently.

"Maybe," Hannah nodded. "But the mommy went away."

"She did?" Derek sighed.

"Yeah," Hannah nodded. "Cause she wasn't ready to be a mommy yet."

"Oh...like your mommy."

"Yep."

"What if they could get a new mommy? Would they like that?"

"A new mommy?" Hannah frowned.

"Yep," Derek nodded. "The daddy could meet a new woman, a really nice woman that giggles a lot, and fall in love with her and she could become the new Mommy."

"But what about the old mommy?" Hannah asked, her brow furrowed.

"The old mommy is gone, Han," Derek said gently.

"But she might come back."

"She's not coming back, Hannah."

"She might."

"She's not," Derek shook his head. "She left and started a new life. And the rest of the family stayed and started a life too."

"No," Hannah said. "The mommy's gonna come back."

"She doesn't want to come back."

"She might want to."

"She might," Derek nodded. "But when she left...she left for good."

"Maybe not."

"She did, Han. She's not going to come back."

"She might."

"Hannah, she's not. I know you want her to, but she's not."

"But she might come back. Maybe," Hannah said firmly.

"There is no maybe. When she left...she said she wasn't coming back. She agreed to not come back."

"She might change her mind," Hannah looked up, tears in her eyes. "Like when I wanted cheeseburgers and but then I wanted hot dogs cause hot dogs are yummier."

"Han..." Derek breathed, gesturing for her to come over to him. "She can't change her mind."

"Yes she can," she nodded, walking over to him and climbing up next to him on the couch.

"No, she can't. She actually signed a paper saying she can't."

"Why?"

"Because," Derek sighed, shifting so he could wrap an arm around Hannah. "She didn't want to be a mommy, Hannah."

"But she might want to be a mommy."

"She might," Derek nodded slowly. "But she's already gone. She's started her own life somewhere else. She's not going to want to come back to this life. She promised she wouldn't."

"But why?"

"Well...some people want to be mommies and daddies more than anything, like me and Meredith. And some people... they don't want to be. And she didn't. And now she's gone and everyone here is...they're happy, Hannah. If she came back…it would be hard."

"But she might want to be a mommy now."

"She might. But...not with this family. This family is it's own family without her."

"But she's my mommy."

"She is," Derek nodded slowly. "But you could have a new mommy."

"But I already have a mommy."

"No, you don't," Derek shook his head. "She...had you but...she stopped being your mommy the second you were born."

"What?" Hannah frowned.

"To be a mommy you need....a mommy is the person who...she's there, Hannah, mommies are there. They take you to school and they go to ballet practices and they do your hair and they have girls nights with you. That's what a mommy does. And just because someone gives...has you, as a baby, it doesn't make them your mommy."

"But Nana's your mommy and she had you as a baby."

"She did," Derek nodded. "But she did all that other stuff too...well not ballet but she came to all my hockey games and baseball games."

"Oh," Hannah chewed on her lip. It was her most Meredith-like habit and Derek did his best to hide the smile that formed every time he saw it.

"But I want to do that for you," Meredith cut in suddenly. "I want to be your mommy and do everything."

"You do?" Hannah asked.

"Definitely," Meredith nodded firmly. "I want to be your mommy more than anything. Even more than I want to marry your daddy."

"But you're not my real mommy," Hannah frowned.

"That's okay," Meredith shrugged. "I can become your new mommy."

"My new mommy?"

"Yep," Meredith nodded enthusiastically. "I know it kind of sucks that your real mommy doesn't want to be around. But I definitely want to be your new mommy."

"Are you gonna be my step mommy?" Hannah asked carefully. "Jenny has a step mommy and a step daddy."

"I can be your step mommy," Meredith nodded slowly. "But...I don't want to be. I want to adopt you...which is kind of hard to explain but it basically means I want to sign papers to make you my daughter."

"Papers?" Hannah frowned. "How does papers make you my mommy? Mommys have babies."

"Sometimes they do. But sometimes they choose to be mommies. And that means signing papers and a whole bunch of stuff. But just because I didn't have you as a baby doesn't mean I can't be your mommy. We love each other a whole lot and that's all that matters."

"But what if my mommy decides to be a mommy again and she comes back and she's angry because I got a new mommy?"

"When your mommy left you and your daddy she signed some papers that said she couldn't do that."

"Why'd she do that?" Hannah's lower lip trembled.

"She didn't want to be a mommy," Meredith murmured gently, crawling over Derek's lap to sit on the other side of Hannah. "Sometimes...some people are really silly and they don't want to be mommies."

"But she was excited. Daddy said so."

"Well..." Meredith sighed, glaring at Derek quickly. "She was excited. Because she knew that Daddy really really wanted you so she was excited to be able to give Daddy something he wanted so badly."

"She wasn't excited about me?"

"No, she wasn't, Han," Derek murmured gently. "She didn't...she didn't want to be a mommy."

"But you said..."

"I know what I said," Derek sighed, hugging her tightly. "I was....at the time, I was...I shouldn't have said what I said, Hannah. I'm sorry."

"Why didn't she want to be a mommy? Didn't she like me?

"She didn't...she didn't like the idea of being a mommy," Derek sighed. "It had nothing to do with you."

“Does she know I’m the bestest ballerina in my class?" Hannah demanded. "And that I can ride my two wheeler?"

"She doesn't know that," Meredith sighed. "But I do."

"Maybe if you tell her I'm the bestest ballerina in my class..."

"No, Hannah, I don't even know where she is. And she's...she's not really your mommy," Derek sighed.

"Because she signed papers and went away," Hannah sighed.

"She did," Meredith nodded. "She's kind of stupid."

"She is?" Hannah giggled.

"Yep. Anybody who doesn't want to know you is pretty stupid if you ask me."

"Really?"

"Definitely," Meredith nodded firmly.

"So my mommy can't come back ever?"

"She can't," Derek nodded.

"Even if she wanted to real bad?"

"Even if she wanted to real bad. You're just mine, Hannah Banana. And now Meredith wants to you be hers too."

"You want to be my mommy, Meredith?"

"I would love to be your mommy, Hannah."

"Are you still gonna be my bestest friend?"

"Well...kind of. I'll be your mommy first and your bestest friend second. But we can still do all of our fun things, like have girls' nights when Daddy is working and watch movies and eat food Daddy doesn't like."

"And make forts?"

"Definitely make forts," Meredith nodded.

"Do I call you Mommy?"

"You can," Meredith nodded. "I want you to."

"Can you go away like my real mommy?"

"Nope," Meredith shook her head. "I'm here forever and ever and ever. I will never leave you or your daddy."

"Okay," Hannah sighed.

"Okay?" Derek asked.

"Okay," Hannah nodded, getting off the couch and moving back to her doll house.

"Okay..." Derek repeated, looking at Meredith quickly. "You...you want Meredith to be your mommy?"

"I guess," Hannah nodded, picking up the discarded mommy doll.

"You guess?" Meredith asked, reaching to squeeze Derek's hand.

"Yeah," Hannah reached over to tear a piece of paper from her notebook and grab a pencil.

"What are you doing, Han?" Derek asked.

"The new mommy is going to sign paper," Hannah shrugged.

"Oh," Derek smiled slightly. "So...new mommy...that's a good thing?"

"Yeah," Hannah smiled.

"Good," Derek sighed, falling agaisnt the back of the couch and dragging Meredith close to him again.

"Very good," Meredith breathed, resting her head against his chest.

"That...you were amazing," he whispered to her.

"I was?" she murmured, pulling the throw back over them.

"Definitely," he nodded. "I think you won her over."

"I hope so," she sighed.

"She seems happy," he shrugged.

"And she's playing with the mommy doll," she murmured. "Which...I mean, I know, psych is crap."

"It means good things," Derek nodded.

"Yeah," Meredith nodded. "So she's...I'm going to be her mommy."

"You're going to be her mommy," Derek agreed.

"Which is...really amazing."

"It really is," he breathed, blinking quickly.

"Do you think...I mean, do you think she'll call my mommy or just..."

"I don't know," he sighed. "I hope she does. It might take some time...but...I hope she does."

"Me too," she murmured.

"My daughter has a mommy," he whispered.

"You sound so...I don't know," Meredith sighed, looking up at him. "You swore she didn't need one."

"I said that to get you to date me," he laughed gently.

"Of course you did," Meredith rolled her eyes.

"She didn't need a mom. She was happy, she was well adjusted. She didn't need you. But that doesn't mean I didn't want her to have a mom. I wanted this, I always wanted this."

"She has a mom," she sighed, reaching down to grasp his hand.

"And it's you," he grinned.

"It's me," she smiled, squeezing his hand lightly.

"Wow."

"Wow," she murmured.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Derek kissed her quickly before settling back on the couch to watch Hannah play, the mommy doll firmly in her hands as she talked to the others, obviously making introductions with a wide smile on her face. She was okay with it. There had been some tears, and some confusion but she was actually okay with this, with Meredith becoming her real mommy. She was still smiling.

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oncetherewasaway Dec 27 2007, 01:56 PM Post #17
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 Disclaimer: Alicia and Katie don't own the show. But we hope to one day own a show. And because of that, and well for lots and lots of reasons, we are 100% behind the writers. Just not literally...as we don't live in LA. And if we were on the picket lines with them we'd be harassing them for spoilers.

The letters on the chart were swimming before her eyes. Completely totally swimming and it was probably good that she was on Derek's service today and he was opting to not let her do any actually cutting. She hadn't slept much the night before. He hadn't either. Which was probably actuallly more her fault than it was his fault but still, no sleep. No sleep was bad. Very bad.

She wanted to sleep. She was exhausted. Entirely and completely exhausted and she just wanted to sleep. But work was crazy, and the sisters were obsessed with linens for the wedding, and the adoption process was actually underway. The lawyer had told them it wouldn't take long at all, but that she would have to meet with social workers and a judge would talk to Hannah and...it was insane.

Her brain felt like it was spinning in about a hundred different directions and none of them made much sense. She was happy, entirely perfectly happy because she wanted this, she wanted every bit of this. She wanted to be Derek's wife and she wanted Hannah to call her mom. She was happy. She just assumed she'd be a little happier if things were simpler than this.

She just wanted to sleep. She wanted to sleep so that when she met with the social worker in the afternoon she didn't look like a zombie or whatever. And she wanted her cell phone to stop ringing. She wanted the perfect Meredith and Derek wedding. She really, really wanted it. But she had no idea why linens were such a big deal. Sleep was a big deal. Work was a big deal. Adoptiong Hannah...big deal. Linens? She didn't think they were all that important.

She still wasn't exactly sure what her and Derek would even need linens for. They were having a smallish wedding. And on their land in the middle of June. They weren't even guaranteed good weather. Not that weather mattered but she figured that a small simple perfect Meredith and Derek wedding didn't actually include linens. Or any of the other stuff they kept calling about. Well besides Sophie, Sophie kept calling to remind her to breathe.

But apparently they needed linens. And there were a lot of different kinds of linens. Kathleen wanted organza, whatever the hell that was. She called almost hourly to talk about how beautiful it would look in the soft lighting in the tent. Which apparently Nancy and Colleen and Lexie were in a very serious discussion about lights versus candles. And somehow, this decision affected the linens.

And they kept asking her what she wanted, like she was supposed to have some big and important opinion. They kept calling and showing up and asking and all she wanted was to marry Derek. She wanted to stand up in front of people that meant something to them and put a ring on his finger and kiss him. And then he'd be her husband and everything would be worth it. She didn't actually care if there were candles or not.

Except she did kind of care. A little. Not a lot. And not so much about the candles or the linens. Just that it was a beautiful wedding. Because she wasn't supposed to get married. She really wasn't. And she had never had anything really normal in her life. And this...the wedding thing...this was normal. This was completely normal and she wanted to be the bride who cared about it all.

And Sophie and Lexie had said something about candles lighting their first dance and something about that had sounded incredibly cheesy but incredibly perfect all at once. And then Kathleen had started talking about the music and what would play when she was walking downt the aisle and a little thrill had run through her body. Because this had to perfect in a completely Meredith and Derek way.

So she did care. She did. She really did care about the wedding being perfect. Or Meredith and Derek perfect because perfect in an Addison and Mark way was scary and big and just...not possible. So she cared that she had the perfect Meredith and Derek wedding. She just wished it was easier. And quieter. And that she could sleep at night instead of thinking about linens and songs and home studies by social workers.

"Hey Meredith, I was hoping I'd find you!" an entirely too bubbly voice behind her said.

"Oh god," Meredith groaned as she turned to look at Izzie. "Hey, Iz."

"You look like crap," Izzie frowned.

"Thanks," Meredith sighed, turning back to the chart with the swimming letters that didn't actually form any words.

"I was out getting some stuff this morning and I picked up a few more bridal magazines for you," Izzie smiled, depositing a pile on the desk.

"Oh," Meredith breathed, staring at the happy brides. "Right. Thanks, Iz."

"Do you have any idea of what kind of dress you're looking for yet? It helps if you know when you go in."

"Um...I haven't really thought about it," Meredith sighed, taking a sip of her coffee. Coffee. It had to help with the swimming. "Not poufy?"

"Not poufy is probably best," Izzie nodded. "You're outside. And you're tiny."

"Yeah," she nodded.

"So not poufy. It's a start."

"Hmmm," she nodded again, tapping her pen against the chart. The words would come. They had to come. Or sleep would come. Sleep was good.

"You okay, Mer?" Izzie asked.

"What?" Meredith looked up. "Yeah, I'm great. Just...working and thinking and...yeah, I'm great. Wedding planning. Dresses. Great."

"Okay," Izzie nodded slowly. "Well look through the magazines and maybe you'll get some ideas."

"Yeah, maybe," she sighed.

"Okay," Izzie nodded. "You have your meeting with the social worker today, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do," Meredith nodded. "At five. And then apparently Lexie and Kathleen are coming over with linens. Which is...great. I mean, really great and wonderful. And wedding planning is just...but yeah, meeting with the social worker."

"You'll be fine, Mer. You're a great mom and Hannah adores you."

"Yeah, I..." Meredith groaned as her cell phone rang at her hip. She grabbed it and stared at the screen. Kathleen. Again. "Kath?" she answered.

"Hey Mer, hope I'm not interrupting anything important but I just got off the phone with Der and he said you were doing charts."

"Yeah, just charts," Meredith sighed. She was going to kill her fiance.

"Okay...well I just got off the phone with that photographer I was telling you about. He is free on the 14th so that's great but you and Derek need to get in to see him as soon as possible before he gets booked."

"Photographer," Meredith nodded slowly as she signed the chart. Which she was assuming was okay and right and that her intern wasn't a complete idiot.

"Yes, he's the best in Seattle. You want him."

"Hmm hmmm."

"Just...book an appointment with him soon. I know you guys are busy with the adoption but get on this."

"We're on it, Kath," Meredith sighed. "Definitely on it."

"Good. I'll let you get back to work now."

"Thanks," Meredith sighed. "I'll talk to you later, Kath." She moved to hang up the phone, groaning when another call showed up. "Colleen?"

"Hey Mer, how are you?"

"Great. You?"

"I'm good. I was just having a chat with my friend that caters weddings."

"Oh really?" Meredith said as she watched Izzie flip through one of the magazines, gesturing towards a couple dresses.

"Yes. She wants to know...are you guys thinking sit down meal? Or just a buffet?"

"Oh um..." Meredith bit her lip. "I don't...we haven't talked about it. Is one...I mean, is one better than the other or..."

"It's entirely up to you, Mer. Sit down is fancier and as I know you guys want to keep this casual a buffet might be better."

"Yeah...I...um...Colleen, let me talk to Der about this and I'll call you back okay?"

"Okay, that sounds good. Just let me know when you can."

"I will. Anything else?" Meredith sighed, fighting the urge to roll her eyes as Izzie practically squealed over a dress.

"Nope, that's it. I'll talk to you later."

"Okay, bye," she hung up the phone quickly, resisting the sudden and violent urge to throw it somewhere.

"Derek's sisters?" Izzie asked.

"Yes."

"I can't wait to meet them," Izzie sighed. "It's got to be amazing having this many people helping to plan your wedding."

"Oh yeah," Meredith bit the inside of her cheek. "Amazing."

"They must be so much help, especially since they're all married."

"Yeah, Iz, they're great. Really great and amazing and..." Meredith trailed off as her cell phone rang again. "What?" she practically shouted into the phone.

"Woah, breathe, Mer," Derek's voice came from the other side.

"Oh, it's you," she sighed, leaning against the counter. "And I'm breathing. I'm fine. Totally fine. Which you might not be when I get done with you. But I'm fine."

"When you get done with me?"

"It's nothing. Never mind. What's up?"

"Want to grab lunch in my office with me?"

"I...yes. As long as I can bring charts that I'm still working on. Which yes, I know, you need them done and I swear I'm working on them. I am. It's just...yes, lunch in your office. Okay."

"Take a break from the charts. You sound like you need it."

"I can't take a break from the charts. The charts have to be done by four because we have to leave early and meet with a social worker. So yes I need a break from the charts but I can't take a break from the charts because if I don't get the charts done I can't leave and if I can't leave, then I won't meet with the social worker. And if I don't meet with the social worker, I don't get to adopt our daughter."

"Okay, breathe, Mer. Come to my office and bring the charts. You can take a half hour break to breathe and relax. I can help you finish them."

"I'm breathing. I'm fine."

"Of course you are."

"I am, Der. I'm fine and...I'm fine. So...but okay. Lunch in your office."

"I'll give you a back massage."
:
"Seriously?" she breathed.

"Seriously."

"Okay," she sighed. "Oh, speaking of food. Sit down dinner or buffet?"

"Oh umm...I don't know."

"You don't know?" Meredith groaned. "Seriously? Because you're supposed to know. You're the one who has tons of sisters who are all married and you've always wanted to get married. And you're supposed to know. And according to Colleen, it's a very important question. So, sit down or buffet?"

"Meredith, breathe. Come to my office. We can talk about this together."

"Fine," she sighed. "I'll be there in a couple minutes." She hung up her phone and picked up the charts next to her as Izzie thumbed through her magazines. "I'm eating lunch in Derek's office."

"Good, you look like you need him," Izzie nodded.

"I'm fine," Meredith rolled her eyes. "See you, Iz."

"See you, Mer," Izzie smiled.

Meredith sighed as she made her way to Derek's office, her charts clutched closely to her chest. She was fine. She really and totally was. Tired. Exhausted. Stressed. Possibly in a murdering mood. But she was fine. She was happy. She wanted to marry Derek. That was the endgame in the questions and the magazines and the linens and lighting. Derek.

And now she was being dragged to his office. Or well going because she wanted to. Even if she was in the murdering mood and he was definitely on her list she definitely wanted to see him. That would be good. It would be good and she could maybe start breathing again. Not that she wasn't breathing. But if she wasn't than Derek would help. Being with him made it easier to remember that she wanted to marry him.

Because right now, the reason was a little fuzzy in her head. He had sisters. Lots of sisters who were way too into this whole wedding thing. And he told his sisters that she wasn't busy. Which meant he was insanely close to his sisters. The reason was definitely a little fuzzy in her head. She loved him. She really did. She just wished he didn't have such a huge nosy family.

"Hey you," he smiled widely as she stepped inside his office.

"Hey," she sighed.

"You look like you need this," Derek murmured, walking over to her and wrapping his arms around her.

"I'm mad at you," she murmured as she cuddled into his chest.

"You are?" he asked, running his fingers gently through her hair.

"Hmmm," she nodded.

"Why?"

"Something about your sisters," she sighed and then frowned, pulling away. "Because you have sisters. You have sisters who have ideas and want decisions and...and you tell them I'm not busy. That I'm just doing charts and they can call me and...because you have sisters."

"You're mad at me because I have sisters?"

"And because you tell them I'm just doing charts."

"You were just doing charts," he sighed.

"Yes, but they didn't need to know that. They could have thought I was in surgery or something. Because when I'm in surgery, they can't call and ask about linens and photographers and catering and...Derek, sit down or buffet?"

"What do you want?"

"What?"

"What do you want? Sit down or buffet."

"I don't...I don't know. Sit down I guess. It sounds...I mean, it's fancier but it sounds...I don't know."

"Breathe," he murmured, rocking her gently. "It is fancier. Do we want fanicer?"

"I don't want really fancy," she murmured. "But I don't want...you know...I want something nice or whatever."

"A buffet can be nice," Derek shrugged. "Or we could...maybe sit down but something more casual feeling."

"Sit down," Meredith nodded. "We'll do sit down only casual sit down."

"Okay," he smiled. "We can do that."

"Okay," she sighed, pulling out of his arms again to fall onto the couch.

"You need to relax, Mer," he sighed, moving to sit down beside her.

"I'm fine," she murmured.

"Do you actually think I'm going to believe that?"

"No. But you could try."

"Not going to," he shook his head. "I'm worried about you."

"Derek..." she rolled her eyes.

"No, no eye rolling. This isn't healthy, Mer."

"What isn't?"

"All this stress," he sighed. "You're all...Mer, you're a doctor, you know what this kind of stress can do to you. I don't want you having a heart attack."

"Derek, I'm not even thirty five. I doubt I'm going to have a heart attack."

"Fine. And that doesn't actually mean I don't get to worry."

"Fine," she sighed, turning to him, "I'll cut down my stress. Just tell me what to cut down on. The being a doctor thing? The adopting our daughter thing? The planning our wedding thing?"

"Okay...well...talk to me or something. Scream or cry or...do something."

"I don't need to cry."

"Okay..." he nodded slowly. "We could....postpone the wedding or something. Put off planning until after the adoption thing is settled."

"You heard the lawyer, the adoption thing will be settled in a couple months," she sighed. "It doesn't take as long when it's a step parent."

"I know," he nodded. "But if not planning a wedding at the same time would make this easier, that's okay."

"No," she shook her head. "I'm good with this. The adoption thing will be settled and...really, I'm good."

"You are?"

"I am."

"Okay," he sighed. "But I'll talk to my sisters about laying off a bit."

"Derek, don't."

"Mer...you're a ball of stress."

"I'm fine," she sighed. "And...they're helpful. Annoying. Really really annoying but....helpful. Most of the time."

"If you say so. It's my experience that they're just annoying."

"Well that too,” she giggled, resting her head on his shoulder.

"There's the giggle."

"Hmm," she sighed, grabbing his hand. "I'm okay, Derek."

"You are?"

"Yes," she nodded. "I'm okay. Stressed but...I'm okay. You don't have to worry."

"Okay," he nodded slowly. "Still happy about all this?"

"Of course I am," Meredith nodded. "I want to adopt Hannah. And I want to marry you. I think."

"You think?" he raised an eyebrow at her.

"I do," she nodded, giggling slightly. "I do."

"You better. Because the people you know right now are the nice Shepherd sisters."

"I want to marry you," she smiled, kissing him quickly.

"Good," he smiled. "I want to marry you too."

"I know."

"And we'll get through this."

"We will," she nodded, squeezing his hand.

"So I think I promised you food and a back massage."

"You did," she smiled widely.

"I grabbed you a sandwich from the caf," he smiled. "Eat and I'll take care of the other part."

"You're amazing," she grinned as he handed her the sandwich, laying down on her stomach as she took a bite of the sandwich. "This is why I keep you around."

"I know it is," he laughed, his hands beginning to run along her back gently.

"Hmmm," she sighed.

"You're insanely tense," he murmured, applying more pressure as he began to knead at her skin.

"You know what's good for tension, right?" she breathed.

"What?"

"Orgasms," she sighed.

"I thought you had charts to finish," he laughed softly.

"I do," she groaned. "So we can meet with the social worker at five. Who can then tell me I'm a crappy mom for wanting sex instead of getting my job done to meet with the social worker."

"Mer...you're an amazing mom, the social works is going to love you," he murmured, pressing a kiss on the back of her neck. "And I wasn't actually saying no."

"I have charts," she breathed. "Charts so we can get out of here. Social worker. Adoption...charts."

"They're my charts, Mer. They can wait till after I have my way with you."

"That's extremely dirty, Dr. Shepherd."

"It is, Dr. Grey," he murmured. "And you're on my service today. You have to do whatever I want."

"Oh really?" she raised an eyebrow as she turned over to look at him, her sandwich still her in her hand.

"Definitely," he smirked.

So saying no.."

"You can say no. You'll just be punished for it later."

"That's highly inappropriate, Dr. Shepherd," she giggled as he took her sandwich out of her hand, trailing kisses down her neck. "I think that's sexual harrassment."

"Well...you can punish me if you want," he murmured against her skin.

"I should," she breathed as he sucked gently at the hollow of her throat.

"I encourage it," he whispered.

"The door," she murmured as he slipped his hand underneath her scrub shirt.

"It's closed," he shrugged.

"It should be probably be locked."

"They can knock."

"Hopefully," she giggled breathlessly as his hands pushed her scrub top and the t-shirt under it over her head, his teeth gently biting down on the smooth skin of her stomach.

"Or get a show," he murmured, trailing his tongue around her belly button.

"Der," she gasped just as her cell phone started ringing. "Seriously?"

"It's probably a sister, ignore it."

"They just call back," she sighed.

"And we can ignore it again. They'll think you're cutting."

"Der," she groaned, her hand moving down to her phone. "Sex isn't fun when the phone is ringing."

"I'm going to kill her," Derek sighed.

"It's Colleen again," Meredith sighed. "Colleen?"

"Hey Mer. Hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"Oh um...no," Meredith sighed. "Not really."

"Good. Did you get a chance to talk to Derek?"

"Um...yeah," Meredith breathed as Derek ran his fingertips gently over her stomach. "We're thinking...um...casual sit down or whatever..."

"Casual sit down sounds perfect."

"Hmmm," Meredith sighed, biting her lip when Derek lightly trailed his tongue along the edge of her bra.

"I just needed an answer. And we're thinking somewhere between fifty and one hundred people, right?"

"Closer...probably...yeah."

"Good. I guess I'll let you go now. Thanks Mer."

"Yeah..." Meredith nodded, hanging up her phone and throwing it on the ground. "I hate you."

"No, that's Colleen you hate."

"Her too."

"Okay....why me?"

"Because I was on the phone with your sister and you were...doing what you were doing."

"Oh," he laughed.

"Definitely hate you," she giggled.

"Hmm..." he nodded. "Want to get back to what we were doing?"

"Definitely."

"Good," he smiled.

"But sandwich first," she grinned, reaching for her sandwich.

"Seriously?"

"I'm starving, Derek," she giggled.

"Well so am I."

"Okay, starving for sex doesn't count."

"Yes, I think it does," Derek nodded.

"So you're going to deprive me of food for sex?"

"Yes."

"You're an ass," she giggled, putting her sandwich back down and kissing him deeply.

"Hmmm..." he breathed against her lips. "You love me."

"I do," she murmured.

"Love you too," he murmured.

What a beautiful smile
Can It stay for a while
On this beautiful night
We'll make everything right
My beautiful love
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oncetherewasaway Dec 27 2007, 01:58 PM Post #18
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McEditor

 Disclaimer: Alicia and Katie worked all day. We both hated it. Like really hated it. If we owned the show work would have involved walking picket lines. Which would have been better than what we actually did.


It was...poufy. Really and completely poufy. And Meredith was pretty sure the big poufy dress was trying to kill her. Or had tried and failed after Sophie, Izzie, and Lexie had got it over her head and body. But it was poufy. Stupid poufy. And she just wanted to throw up. Of course, if she threw up on it, she'd have to buy it. Which would be...well, it would be bad. Because it was poufy.

This was bad. This was actually probably some kind of nightmare. That's exactly what this was. This was the dress of her nightmare wedding. She was attempting at planning the perfect Meredith and Derek wedding and this was possibly everything that wasn't Meredith and Derek. They weren't poufy. She didn't actually know how a couple was poufy but they certainly weren't.

"Oh, Meredith," Mrs. Shepherd sighed happily as she stood next to Susan. Meredith was ninety percent sure Susan and Mrs. Shepherd were now officially life long friends, dedicated to making her wear a nightmare that tried to kill her but failed.

"It's gorgeous," Susan breathed, grabbing Mrs. Shepherd's hand as they stared at her.

"I..." Meredith trailed off, staring at herself in the mirror. There was fabric. Everywhere. Fabric and dress and...she seriously considered begging Cristina for the tequila her friend was apparently hiding in her oversized purse.

"It's a gorgeous dress," Kathleen sighed, reaching over to pick at some of the fabric, probably looking for where the dress ended and where she began. Or maybe something that was hiding in all of it. Something could definitely hide in this dress.

"She looks like a giant freakin' cupcake," Cristina sneered. "Meredith, if you wear that dress, you are not my person."

"It's not her," Lexie agreed. "It's pretty but no...not for her."

"That dress isn't for anybody," Sophie sighed. "Unless they were getting married in the 80s."

"And it wouldn't work at all for an outdoor wedding," Colleen nodded as she handed another garment bag full of something white to Meredith. "Try this one on."

"Oh, um, okay," Meredith sighed, taking the bag and moving back towards the fitting room, the sales associate and Lexie following close behind her to help her.

"That one doesn't look like it's as much," Lexie smiled brightly.

"Which is good," Meredith sighed as Lexie helped her get out of the cupcake dress. "Where's Han?"

"She's looking for a dress for her wedding," Lexie giggled.

"Seriously?" Meredith grinned widely.

"Seriously," Lexie grinned. "And she's telling anyone who will listen to her that she's going to have the world's biggest wedding and that her daddy will buy her whatever dress she wants."

"Which is probably true," Meredith giggled, looking over to the sales associate. "Sorry. I'll tell her to stop if she's bothering anybody."

"Oh it's fine," the sales associate smiled. "She's adorable and she's very well behaved, it's not a problem."

"Just wait until I tell Der she was looking for a wedding dress," Meredith sighed as Lexie quickly laced the back of the dress.

"I'm sure he'll love that," Lexie giggled. "He strikes me as the kind of dad who plans on not letting her date till she's thirty."

"Probably," Meredith nodded and then frowned. It wasn't as poufy. But it was still...she wasn't sure. She just...wasn't sure.

"You're frowning," Lexie sighed.

"It's...it's nothing," Meredith shook her head. "I...it's nice. It's a nice dress."

"If you're not smiling it's not your dress," the sales woman smiled.

"Let's see it, Mer!" Colleen called.

"Coming," Meredith sighed, attempting to smile.

Colleen grinned as Meredith walked out of the fitting room. "Oh, Mer, it's..."

"Not the right dress," Sophie sighed.

"Another cupcake," Cristina groaned.

"There's something...off about it," Molly nodded.

"Well I thought it was nice," Colleen sighed.

"It is," Meredith said quickly. "It's gorgeous just not...it's a nice dress, Col. It really is."

"Don't worry about it, Mer," Kathleen shook her head. "It's your dress. You have to like it."

"You do," Colleen nodded. "We'll find the perfect one even if we have to try everything on."

"Oh um..." Meredith bit her lip as she looked over at where another sales associate was walking around with Hannah, showing her the dresses. All of the dresses. A lot of dresses. If they were really going to try all of them on, she would definitely need the tequila.

"Have you picked your colours yet?" Kathleen asked.

"Colors?" Meredith breathed. She had heard about colors. Something about how colors were important. Of course, she hadn't really thought about colors because she wasn't sure how important they actually were. And she had been busy with work and the adoption thing, which was going fifty times better than the wedding thing, seeing as there weren't colors with adoptions.

"Yeah," Kathleen nodded. "For the bridesmaid and flowers and well...centerpieces and decorations depending on what we do with them. Colours."

"I...I don't know," Meredith breathed. "And centerpieces? What's...I haven't thought about it yet."

"You don't have to think about that yet. That can wait a bit longer but we do have to pick colours so we can start thinking of dresses for us," Izzie smiled.

"Yellow would be lovely for a summer wedding," the sales associate commented.

"Yellow," Meredith nodded slowly. "I don't....not yellow. I don't think...we're not yellow people."

"Oh, pale pink would be amazing!" Izzie grinned.

"Not pink," Sophie shook her head. "I don't care what you say, Mer. Derek isn't have a pink wedding."

"Definitely not," Meredith grimaced.

"Blue could work," Kathleen suggested.

"Oh goodness, Kathleen, they wear blue every day," Mrs. Shepherd sighed. "What do you think, Susan? I personally find champagne to be lovely."

"Champagne would be beautiful," Susan nodded. "And maybe...green, green would be lovely, Meredith."

"Green," Meredith nodded slowly. "I still don't...I mean...colors?"

"Colors," Sophie nodded. "You need the accent things and it's better than a theme."

"And green would be nice," Kathleen stated. "But not emerald green. That's better for Christmas."

"Sage," Lexie smiled.

"Sage?" Meredith frowned. "I thought we said green."

"Sage is green," Lexie sighed, turning to the sales associate. "Do you have any color swatches?"

"Of course," the sales associate nodded, turning quickly as Meredith stared at herself in the mirror. In the off dress with her mind racing with colors and greens and centerpieces and...this wasn't her. This definitely wasn't her. "Here we go. This is sage." The sales associate held up a lighter green swatch towards Meredith.

"Oh umm...that's...I like it," Meredith nodded. She did. She wasn't exactly sure what the color she chose had to do with anything except for something to do with dresses and centerpieces and she was entirely confused but it was nice. Sage was definitely nice. And they were getting married in trees. There'd be a lot of trees and sage would be nice.

"So sage green and champagne it is," Kathleen grinned, writing it down in her notebook.

"Yeah..." Meredith nodded slowly. "That's....it's good. It is."

"Go try another dress on, Meredith," Nancy suggested, holding up another bag of lots of white poufiness.

"Yeah," Colleen nodded. "The more you try on the more likely you are to find something."

"Okay," Meredith murmured and then looked up again to where Hannah was. "Han, you good?"

"Yep," Hannah grinned widely before frowning at the dress Meredith was wearing. "But I don't like that dress."

"Me neither," Meredith giggled, suddenly relieved at the seven year old's honesty.

"Good," Hannah nodded. "It needs to be the bestest dress in the world."
\
"It does," Meredith grinned. "How about you find me a dress?"

"Really?" Hannah asked, eyes wide.

"Really."

"Okay," Hannah nodded quickly.

"Good," Meredith smiled at her very soon to be official real daughter, trying to block out the hope that the seven year old would be able to find a better dress than the women surrounding her.

"Have you and Derek talked to the photographer yet?" Kathleen suddenly asked.

"The photographer?" Meredith sighed.

"Oh," Meredith breathed. "Yeah, um...busy. Really really busy. But we'll call him soonish or whatever."

"You have to get on that," Kathleen nodded.

"We will, Kath. Soonish. We just...the social worker and the lawyer and work and...we will. I promise. We will."

"Good," Kathleen nodded. "It would be a shame if you missed out on him."

"Is that the guy who did Soph's wedding?" Nancy asked. "He was amazing. You really do need to call him, Mer."

"Have you guys talked about a menu?" Colleen asked, walking up with a few more dresses in her arms.

"A menu?" Meredith sighed. "I...no. Just, um, casual sit down."

"Well you need to decide on what to actually eat," Colleen nodded. "And that's something you need to discuss with him."

"You can never go wrong with chicken," Molly suggested.

"Chicken is good idea," Mrs. Shepherd nodded. "It can be done in a very nice meal, something light and...like a picnic."

"A picnic," Meredith breathed.

"That would be great," Lexie grinned. "You could serve the chicken cold even...very laid back."

"Of course, you haven't actually chosen any flowers yet," Kathleen looked up from her notebook. "Did you get my e-mail about the florist?"

"Oh umm...I did," Meredith nodded. "I was going to...and...busy. I've been...I'll get on that."

"Because flowers are very important, Meredith," Kathleen nodded. "They can completely change the look of the wedding. Are you thinking roses?"

"Roses would be gorgeous," Susan smiled. "Maybe a nice light pink to off set the sage."

"I thought we agreed no pink," Cristina groaned.

"But flowers are different," Colleen sighed. "A light pink could look very nice with the sage. Or maybe peach."

"And you really need to go look at the linens, Meredith," Mrs. Shepherd said. "Kathleen says you still haven't gotten the chance."

"She'll find the time soon," Sophie sighed. "Right now the dress is more important."

"The dress is important," Kathleen nodded. "And then of course there are the bridesmaid's dresses. And the flower girl's dresses. Have we decided if Hannah's going to be a flower girl?"

"We don't..." Meredith sighed, the words dying at her lips. She didn't know. She had no idea what to do with Hannah because right now the most important issues with Hannah revolved around adopting her. And they had colours and linens and food and she didn't know. She didn't know and everything kind of felt a little to big to actually know anything.

"And are you getting a priest to perform the ceremony?" Susan asked.

"Derek's not big on church but it would be a nice touch," Kathleen nodded.

"It would be," Mrs. Shepherd smiled. "And have we gotten together a preliminary guest list?"

"Umm...we're...we talked about...people," Meredith nodded slowly.

"But how many people?" Kathleen asked.

"You said around fifty to one hundred, right?" Nancy asked. "We need to narrow that down."

"I...narrow," Meredith breathed.

"We have to look into renting chairs and tables soon," Kathleen nodded. "And decide on the side of the tent we need."

"Size...tent..."

"But first we need to find a dress," Sophie sighed.

"We realize this, Sophie, but she hasn't made any of the big decisions yet," Nancy said.

"Which she will," Sophie nodded. "Dress being the first one."

"Yes, dress," Mrs. Shepherd nodded. "Maybe one with a sash. A sage sash."

"Colour is very in right now," Kathleen nodded.

"Yes, and she has such a tiny waist," Nancy grinned. "What do you think, Colleen?"

"A sash would look great on her," Colleen smiled.

"Then let's try a sash," Mrs. Shepherd nodded towards the sales associate.

"Have you and Derek thought about a song yet?" Kathleen asked.

"A...a song?" Meredith breathed.

"Yes," Kathleen nodded. "For the first dance."

"The...first...song..."

"They have CDs," Molly smiled. "I can pick you up some."

"Oh the CDs are great," Colleen grinned.

"Very helpful," Kathleen nodded. "And there's always the internet, they have great suggestions."

"They do," Colleen nodded. "So that's another thing, Mer, you need a song."

"And we need to find some time to pull all of this together. We need to sit down and discuss a timeline and all the minor details so we're not left scrambling. Mer, when's the next time you have some free time?" Kathleen asked.

"Free...free time?" Meredith turned to Kathleen. "Seriously? Free time? I...I don't have free time. I don't have free time for minor details because all you talk about are linens and flowers and songs and dresses and colors and...I'm a surgeon. I'm a surgeon and I'm trying to adopt my fiance's daughter which means the house has to be perfect and I have to be perfect so I don't have time to talk about colors and flowers and...I don't have time."

"Mer..." Sophie frowned, reaching for Meredith's hand.

"And I'm standing here in a wedding dress when I could be...doing stuff," Meredith gasped. "I could be cutting or trying to figure out how to prove to a social worker that I can be a good mom. But instead I'm standing here in a wedding dress talking about flowers. Flowers. I'm not this girl. I'm not the girl who plans weddings and talks about flowers. I'm...I'm dark and twisty and I drink and sleep...I do bad things. I do stupid things and I'm not that girl. I'm not this girl and you keep talking about flowers and linens and colors. And I'm not this girl."

"Meredith..." Mrs. Shepherd sighed. "You're...."

"But I'm here. I'm here and I'm not this girl. I just...I can't. I can't do this. I can't be this girl. I don't know how to be the girl who believes in fairy tales. I don't. And you're standing here and telling me to have time to talk about flowers and centerpieces and priests and songs and...I'm not this girl. And I can't do this. I can't. I can't do this."

"Okay," Sophie nodded slowly, pulling Meredith with her. "We're going to go back to the change room and you're going to start breathing again. Lex, come on."

"I'm...I'm fine," Meredith gasped. "I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm...fine."

"No, you're not," Lexie sighed. "Change room now."

"I just...I can't do this," Meredith gasped. "I can't be this girl. I can't. This...I can't do this."

"Okay," Sophie nodded, leading Meredith to sit down on a chair in the change room. "Let it out."

"I just...I can't...I can't. I can't," Meredith shook her head, tears rolling down her cheeks. "I can't do this. I can't. They...and I can't. I can't."

"Shhh..." Lexie murmured. "It's okay. Just...breathe."

"Colors," she took deep shaky breaths. "Colors and linens and adoptions and social workers and surgery and songs and...I can't."

"Meredith...you can," Sophie nodded firmly. "You can do this."

"I can't. I can't do this. I can't do the flowers and the centerpieces and the songs and the first dances and...I don't know how to dance. And I can't be in a big fluffy dress that makes me feel like a cupcake. Or a marshmellow. I can't."

"Mer....Derek," Lexie murmured, running her hand over Meredith's hair. "This is about Derek."

"Der...Derek..." Meredith gasped.

"Derek," Sophie nodded. "This isn't about all that stuff...it's about Derek."

"But I...I can't. I can't."

"Yes, you can," Lexie nodded. "You can marry Derek. All of this is worth having forever with Derek."

"Forever...Derek..."

"You want forever with him, don't you?" Sophie asked gently.

"Yeah," Meredith nodded quickly, trying to take deep breaths. "Yeah."

"And you want to promise him that forever in front of everyone?" Sophie asked.

"Yeah. I...yeah."

"Then it's worth it," Lexie smiled softly. "You can do this, Mer. It's...Derek."

"Derek."

"Exactly. Derek. Love of your life and all of that."

"Love of my life," Meredith giggled breathlessly. "Cheesy but...yeah."

"Everything will fall together," Sophie smiled. "I know right now it seems big but it will work out."

"But...I...everything," Meredith shook her head. "And they...they want me to and I..."

"They're insane," Sophie rolled her eyes. "And they love you. They just want you to have the perfect day. Or so they kept telling me when they did this to me."

"I'm not this girl," Meredith murmured. "I'm not...this isn't me."

"Mer...what do you want?" Lexie whispered. "When you think about marrying him, promising him forever, what do you want?"

"I don't...him," Meredith murmured. "I want him. And...outside. At...at right before it gets dark or whatever. With the water and...people. Not a lot of people just...people. And him. I want him. I want Derek."

"Good," Lexie nodded. "Because once you get there...when you're standing there...that's all that's going to matter. That it's him and you."

"Yeah," Meredith whispered.

"I know this is big," Sophie sighed. "But you can do this. You really can."

"I...okay," Meredith nodded.

"Just keep breathing. And take one thing at a time," Lexie nodded.

"O-okay."

"And don't be afraid to tell them to stop. You have to know by now that sometimes you have to be pushy with Shepherds," Sophie laughed.

"I do," Meredith giggled and then nodded. "I'm okay. I am."

"Good," Sophie grinned. "Because Derek would kill them if they scare you away from marrying him."

"He would," Meredith sighed. "I just...no more poufy dresses."

"We can do that," Lexie nodded. "Poufy is bad."

"It is," Meredith nodded. "I just...I don't want princess. I want...I want a dress. And Derek...Derek said things. He said not a lot of fabric. He said he wanted to get me out of my dress fast. So...no poufy."

"He would say that," Sophie rolled her eyes.

"Meredith?" Hannah's quiet voice called. "Meredith?"

"In here, Han," Meredith called out, wiping her eyes one more time.

"Are you okay?" Hannah asked, poking her head in, the sales associate standing behind her.

"Yep, I'm good," Meredith smiled.

"You sure?" Hannah asked. "Because I found a really really pretty dress."

"You did?" Meredith grinned.

"Yeah," Hannah smiled widely as the sales associate handed Meredith a garment bag. "It's the bestest dress in the whole world, maybe. I'm still gonna look more."

"I will try it on," Meredith smiled.

"Good," Hannah grinned and then turned back to the sales associate. "C'mon, Miss Sarah, let's go look more."

"Okay, Hannah," Sarah smiled, leading Hannah out of the room.

Meredith stood up from the chair, taking a deep breath. "I have to try it on," she murmured.

"You do," Lexie grinned. "Hannah wants you to."

"She does," Meredith grinned. "And she chose my ring. She has...she's good at this."

"She knows you," Sophie smiled. "And she knows what her daddy likes."

"She really does," Meredith nodded. "Take off the poufy dress and let's see what Han picked."

"Okay," Lexie nodded, unlacing the dress.

"And um...Sophie...I mean, your family. They...they were only trying to help."

"Yes, that's what they call it," Sophie nodded.

"Do I...should I...I should apologize."

"No, you shouldn't," Sophie shook her head. "If you apologize they're just going to keep acting like that."

"So do I...I just go out there and pretend it didn't happen?'

"It's a good plan," Lexie nodded.

"Then...okay," Meredith nodded as Lexie and Sophie helped put the dress Hannah had chosen over her head.

"Oh that one is gorgeous," Lexie breathed as Meredith adjusted it.

"It's....wow," Meredith breathed, her eyes filling with tears.

"Definitely....wow," Sophie nodded.

"Oh...um...wow," Meredith repeated, a smile forming over her lips as she ran her hands over the fabric. "It's...wow."

"It's it," Lexie nodded.

"Meredith?" Hannah's voice called out again. "Did you put it on yet?"

"I did," Meredith called back. "I'm...I'm coming out."

"Is it pretty?" Hannah asked.

"It's perfect," Meredith breathed.

"I told you," Hannah grinned just as Meredith stepped out. "Oh wow. It is the bestest dress in the world."

"It really is," Meredith nodded, blinking quickly.

"Really, really pretty," Hannah smiled. "The prettiest."

"I love it, Han," Meredith breathed.

"You gotta tell Daddy I helped."

"I will," Meredith nodded. "But you can't tell him what it looks like."

"I won't," Hannah promised. "I won't tell anyone."

"Good," Meredith grinned, grabbing for Hannah's hand. "Let's go show everyone."

"We can tell everyone I helped!" Hannah exclaimed, pulling Meredith toward where the rest of the family was talking quietly. "Look, I found Meredith the bestest dress in the world!"

"Oh Mer..." Kathleen breathed.

"It's...amazing," Colleen stood up quickly.

"It's perfect," Mrs. Shepherd nodded.

"It is," Meredith breathed, squeezing Hannah's hand.

"It's it," Susan nodded. "That's the dress."

"Definitely," Meredith nodded, turning towards the mirror, Hannah's hand still tightly clutched in hers as she stared at her reflection. This was it. This was the dress. This was the perfect Meredith and Derek dress for the perfect Meredith and Derek wedding and it was...this was it. This was perfect. Tears rushed to her eyes and she took a deep breath. She could do this.

Finally
Now my destiny can begin
Though we will have a our differences
Something strange and new is happening



Disclaimer: The people who actually own the show are on strike. We support them completely, to the point we'd love to go on strike with them. But that would be evil. If we're not getting the show...we're going to need fanfic.

He was awake. He wasn't quite sure why he was awake but he had a feeling it had something to do with the fact that there was no arms and legs tangld with his. He reached for her, only to be met by already cold sheets. She wasn't here. She wasn't in their bed where she had been when he had fallen asleep. Even when she couldn't sleep, she rarely left their bed.

She still wasn't sleeping. She was busy at work, she was still stressed about the adoption even if the social worker had given her a good report for the judge, and she had come home from wedding dress shopping two weeks earlier excited but stressed. Completely stressed. He wasn't sure what to do. But right now, he figured finding his fiancee would be the best thing.

She had probably not wanted to wake him up. His concern seemed to just be stressing her out more than she already was and he wasn't quite sure what to do about that. He had wanted to get married and he wanted Hannah to officially be Meredith's. He hadn't wanted his fiancee close to some mental break down in the process. He had to figure out something to help this.

She wouldn't let him help. He offered all the time, but apparently his sisters had told her something about him not caring about the details, about not letting him help. He loved his sisters, he did, but he was on the verge of killing them for calling Meredith at all hours of the day. They left her alone at night, but then Mer would start obsessing over everything, stressing over everything.

She was definitely somewhere in the house obsessing over something, something that was entirely not important but his sisters had led her to believe something entirely different. He had to fix this. Soft music wafted up the stairs. Soft music that sounded a lot like Celine Dion. He found her sitting on the ground, surrounded by cds. "Mer?"

"What?" her head snapped up from the CD she was holding.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to find a wedding song," she groaned. "Or listening to seriously crappy music. But really, trying to find a wedding song from a lot of seriously crappy music. I mean...Because You Loved Me? Terrible awful song. Crappiest of them all. Or maybe that was I Honestly Love You or whatever. Either way, trying to find us a wedding song and it's not...it's not working."

"Which is good because I refuse to dance to either of those songs," he frowned, crouching down in front of her to pick up a case. "The Greatest Love Songs of all Time. Really?"

"Molly gave it to me," Meredith groaned.

"I love Molly. But we may have to shoot her."

"That's...that's mean," she sighed. "Colleen was the one who gave me the one with Endless Love. Which is...okay, maybe that's the worst one. Seriously. Who actually listens to these songs?"

"I don't think anyone actually does," he sighed, shifting again so he was sitting in front of her, smiling gently at her. "Why are you doing this at two in the morning?"

"It's already two?" she looked quickly at the clock. "Crap."

"I woke up and felt quite lonely."

"Sorry," she sighed. "I just...everyone says I have to find a song and I don't have time to find a song so I thought...sorry. The crappy songs didn't wake you up, did they?"

"You not being in bed woke me up," he sighed. "And I don't want you up all night doing this stuff, don't listen to my sisters."

"Derek, I have to find a song. I have to listen to a million CDs with a billion crappy songs about love and wanting to be with someone forever and...I have to find a song. I have to. And I don't have time to sit and listen to songs all day at work and my next day off is days and days and days away so...I have to do this at night. Because I have to find a song."

"Let me do it."

"Der..."

"Meredith, let me do this. I know it's your day. I do. But I'm pretty sure you're close to a breakdown and as much as I said I'd marry you anywhere I'd rather it not be the psych floor. I can do this."

"I'm not close to a breakdown. I'm fine. And this...it's just a song. And you're head of neuro, you don't have time to listen to songs either. I...I can do this. You don't have to."

"I want to," he smiled, brushing some hair out of her face. "This is our day. I want to help you with it."

"I know you do," she sighed. "I know. I just...I have to do this. Everyone says I have to do this and we still have menus and cakes and...I chose a linen. And we talked to the photographer. And that's it. That's all I've done and now I have to find a song. And I can do this. I'm not close to a breakdown. I can do this. It's just a song. That's it. So...I can do this."

"You can pick a song from one of these cds?" Derek asked, picking up one with a couple kissing on the cover.

"I...according to Molly I can."

"I'm sure you could," he nodded. "Do any of these songs even sound like us? I'll Be?"

"No," she groaned. "None...they're all cheesy and I think if I keep listening to them I'll develop an aneurysm. But everyone else does. Everyone else chooses wedding songs from these CDs. So I have to. It's normal. It's what everyone else does."

"Have we actually ever done anything the same way everyone else does?"

"Probably not."

"Definitely not. You have to stop worrying about what everyone else does. Everyone else isn't getting married."

"But, Der, everyone who is does it like this. And for once...I'm not this girl. I'm not. I don't know how to pick wedding songs or wedding dresses or...menus. I don't know how to do any of this and if this is what everyone else does...for once I want to be normal. Or whatever. Because this is how everyone else does it."

"I know," he sighed. "But normal doesn't have to be these cds. Normal can be something else, another song that is beautiful and slow and we can dance to it in front of everyone. That kind of normal."

"Dance," Meredith looked up quickly. "Oh crap.'

"Crap?" Derek frowned.

"I can't."

"You can't what?"

"Dance. I don't...I don't know how."

"You don't know how to dance?"

"Don't sound so...Derek, this is a serious problem. I'm supposed to be finding a song for our first dance which I can't do. I can't dance."

"Put on one of your cheesy cds," he smiled, standing back up.

"What?"

"Put on some cheesy ass wedding music."

"Seriously? Why?"

"So we can dance," he smiled.

"Derek...I can't," she sighed as she put a new CD in.

"I know," he nodded, reaching his hand out to her. "I'm going to teach you."

"You're going to teach me how to dance?"

"I am," he grinned.

"How do you even know how to dance?" she asked as he pulled her close.

"Mom made sure to teach Mark and I when we were younger. Part of her quest to raise the perfect gentleman."

"Wait...seriously?" Meredith giggled slightly.

"Seriously," he nodded. "Put your arms around my neck."

"Okay," she sighed, encircling her arms around his neck.

"Good. You'll like this dancing thing, don't worry," he smiled as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"How do you know?" she murmured, resting her chin on his shoulder.

"It involves holding each other closely, Mer."

"Hmmm," she sighed.

"So just keep doing what you're doing and sway to the music," he breathed.

"The really crappy music," she murmured.

"Very crappy," he agreed, leading her slowly, rocking them back and forth.

"We need a song."

"Let me pick it."

"But your sisters..."

"My sisters are insane. I want to pick our song."

"Fine," she sighed.

"Good," he murmured. "I'll find us the perfect song. One we can listen to over and over again without killing ourselves."

"Nothing cheesy."

"Definitely not," he shook his head.

"Good," she breathed, wrapping her arms tighter around him.

"You're good at this dancing thing."

"I am?"

"You are," he nodded. "Haven't stepped on my toes once."

"It's just...swaying."

"That’s kind of the main point."

"It's nice."

"It is," he sighed. "You're happy, right?"

"Of course I am, Derek."

"Good," he nodded. "I know there's a lot going on in your life...I just...I wanted to make sure it's a lot of good."

"It is," she nodded. "In a few weeks, I'll be Hannah's mom and then in a few months...I'll be your wife. That's good. That's a lot of good, Derek."

"I know it is," he breathed.

"Derek."

"What?"

"We're...I mean, in a few months..."

"We'll be married."

"Yeah," she breathed.

"Amazing."

"Kind of...I mean, married. That's huge. Really, really huge."

"I know," he breathed. "Us...forever."

"Forever."

"Wow," Derek laughed.

"Okay...laughing?" Meredith sighed, looking up at him.

"I'm happy, Mer. Entirely perfectly happy."

"Me too," she giggled.

"We're getting married," he exclaimed, suddenly spining her around quickly.

"Derek!" she laughed.

"Married," he breathed.

"Married," she nodded, grasping onto his shoulders as she tried to regain her balance.

"I love you."

"I love you too," she whispered, still grinning as she kissed him.

"Hmmm..." he sighed.

"I really am okay, Der," she murmured. "I know...freaking out a little."

"Okay," he nodded. "You can freak out at me. You know that, right?"

"I know."

"Good. And I can help. I can do whatever you need me to."

"You have the song," she pointed out. "And the honeymoon. And you're a neurosurgeon. A big important neurosurgeon. I can do this."

"You're a resident in the middle of an adoption. I think we're kind of even, Mer."

"I can do this," she sighed. "I can. Everyone...your sisters say I have to and I do. The adoption stuff is almost done and then we have...we have cake and menus and probably a whole lot of other stuff. But I can do this."

"I don't doubt that," he nodded. "But we're a team now. Me and you, not you and my sisters. If you need a hand, or just someone to lean on, it's my job."

"I know," she murmured.

"And I don't mind helping with wedding stuff. Even if it's not very macho."

"If I need help..." she sighed. "But I don't. And now I know how to dance."

"You do," he smiled. "And I'll pick a song. And if you need help you're coming to me."

"Okay."

"I like dancing with you."

"I like dancing with you too," she murmured, resting her head back on his shoulder.

"Good," he smiled.

"Hmmm," she murmured, her body relaxing against his.

"Feeling better?" he asked softly.

"Yeah," she breathed, fighting the urge to yawn. "We...we have other stuff."

"After sleep," he murmured.

"Der..." she sighed.

"No," he shook his head. "It's late and you have to work tomorrow. Sleep."

"Okay," she yawned, stopping her movements as she nuzzled his shoulder, her arms wrapping tighter around his neck.

"Need me to carry you up?"

"I can walk, Der," she shook her head slowly.

"Can I carry you upstairs?"

"Seriously?"

"Seriously," he grinned.

"Fine," she rolled her eyes.

"Good," he smiled, swinging his arm down to pick her up. "Bed time."

"Bed time," she giggled slightly, cuddling close to him.

"Love you," he murmured.

"Love you too," she breathed.

"Bed," he smiled as he carried her up the stairs.

I’ll be someone to fall back on.
I’ll be the one who waits,
And for as long as you’ll let me,
I will be the one you need.
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oncetherewasaway Dec 27 2007, 01:59 PM Post #19
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 Disclaimer: We have gotten a lot of naked Paddy this season. Like...a lot. Which is great. And it might make you wonder if we own the show. We don't. If we did there'd be more naked Paddy...I mean, we haven't gotten that much.


Meredith grinned as Hannah did the last plie of her newest ballet dance. The seven year old had started making up dances in the past few weeks, completely making them up and all she did now was show them off to anyone would look. It was adorable. Too adorable, actually. And it mostly consisted of plies and turns over and over. Still...cute.

"Good job, Hannah," Meredith clapped softly, trying not to be too loud and interrupt Derek who was busy working. Which was fine. With all the wedding planning and adopting going on it had been a while since Meredith had actually gotten some one on one time with her daughter and it was nice. It was amazing to be able to sit down for once and worry about nothing more than a plie.

The sisters hadn't called in a couple days which was...scary. Well, nice. But scary too. She couldn't help but wonder if this was some kind of calm before the storm or something. Either way, they hadn't called. And Derek was writing an article in his office and she and Hannah were eating cookies and dancing. "I think that's my bestest dance ever," Hannah grinned.

"It was amazing," Meredith grinned. "You keep getting better."

"Teacher still says I'm the bestest."

"You are the bestest," Meredith smiled.

"I have to show it to Daddy," Hannah sighed. "Is he still working?"

"He is," Meredith nodded. "So it's going to have to wait."

"When's he going to be done working?"

"I'm not sure."

"Soon?"

"Maybe. It depends on how the article is going. It can take a long time or it can be really fast."

"We should take Daddy cookies," Hannah grinned.

"We can't," Meredith shook her head. "Remember he told us to not bug him till he was all done."

"I know," Hannah sighed. "Oh! I thought of another dance, Mer---Mom---Meredith!"

"You did?" Meredith asked, smiling widely at the mom she had slipped in. Hannah was trying to call her it. She sometimes managed, sometimes she completely forgot and most times it was like that, a mish mash of it all together.

"Yep!" Hannah nodded excitedly, grabbing a cookie and then turning on the small Disney princess boom box again as she started doing more plies.

"Wow," Meredith smiled, leaning back on the couch.

"And then see, I do this," Hannah grinned as she did a quick turn. "In the other dance I did first position, but now I'm gonna do second, see!"

"I do," Meredith nodded. "Good job, Han."

"When Daddy's done working, I'm gonna show him second position cause I like it more."

"Okay," Meredith nodded, looking at her watch quickly. It was getting late. She'd have to cut off the cookies soon and if Derek wasn't done he'd have to wait for another day to see the dance with second position, which would be an entirely different dance by then.

"Daddy's been working all day," Hannah sighed, doing a quick twirl.

"He has been," Meredith smiled. "He has a very important article he has to finish."

"Is it like homework?" Hannah asked, starting the song over again.

"It kind of is."

"Did he wait til last minute like I do with my math homework?"

"He did," Meredith giggled.

"Daddy gets really really mad when I do that," Hannah frowned.

"He does," Meredith nodded. "It's because it's a bad habit. He did it and now he has to miss out on your all pretty dances."

"We should take away his toys, Meredith," Hannah nodded seriously.

"Might be a good idea."

"That means we have to take away his phone and his fishing stuff," Hannah giggled as she sank down into another plie.

"It does," Meredith nodded in agreement. "Hannah?"

"Yeah?"

"How about you turn off the music and come sit for a minute so we can talk about something."

"Am I in trouble?" Hannah asked as she turned off the music.

"Oh no," Meredith shook her head quickly. "Wedding stuff."

"Oh," Hannah sighed, sitting down quickly. "Do you gotta find another dress?"

"No, I don't. But you do."

"Why?"

"Because you have to be part of our wedding, silly."

"As a flower girl?" Hannah giggled as Meredith tickled her slightly.

"If that's what you want," Meredith nodded. "But Daddy and I were talking and we think you might be a little old to be a flower girl."

"Then what am I gonna be?" Hannah frowned.

"Well...you could be a junior bridesmaid."

"What's a junior bridesmaid?"

"It's like what Lexie, Cristina, Izzie and Molly are doing. But more important."

"Even more important than Aunt Lexie?" Hannah grinned.

"Yep," Meredith nodded.

"What do I have to do?"

"You get to walk down the aisle again. But instead of throwing the flowers you carry a pretty bouquet."

"Like Aunt Addie's?"

"Yep, but a little smaller."

"What else?"

"You can be in lots and lots of pictures. And when Daddy and I are at the front you can stand beside one of us."

"And I'm really, really important, right?"

"Very very important."

"I wanna be a junior bridesmaid," Hannah grinned widely, reaching for another cookie.

"Good," Meredith smiled. "And no more cookies, Han, it's nearly bedtime."

"Not yet," Hannah shook her head, biting into a cookie.

"Yes, it is," Meredith nodded, grabbing the plate of cookies away from her. "That is your last cookie."

"But, Meredith," Hannah whined.

"No but Meredith. No more cookies and bed very soon."

"How soon?"

"Fifteen minutes. So if you want to dance anymore, do it now."

"Thirty minutes."

"Nope, fifteen. This isn't up for debate."

"Thirty."

"Hannah, we're not having this discussion. Bed time is in fifteen. That's the rules, you know that."

"But I don't want to go to bed yet."

"Understood. But it's not an option."

"Thirty minutes."

"Hannah, no. Bed in fifteen. That's final."

"No."

"Hannah..."

"I'm not going to bed. I don't want to go to bed."

"Which is wonderful but you're still going to bed."

"Make me," Hannah demanded, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Hannah Rose Shepherd," Meredith groaned.

"You can't make me."

"What's going on here?" Derek's voice came from the doorway.

"Nothing," Hannah said quickly, trying to reach for another cookie.

"Hannah, I said no more cookies," Meredith sighed, taking the plate out of grasp again.

"But I want more," Hannah said firmly. "And I don't want to go to bed yet."

"Hannah, it's bed time, you know that," Derek sighed.

"But I don't want to go to bed yet."

"Okay, but you're going to bed," Derek nodded. "You walk up those stairs right now and put on your pyjamas or I won't read to you tonight."

"But, Daddy..."

"No. Bed. Now. End of story."

"Fine," Hannah pouted, throwing the cookie down on the plate and moving past Meredith, stomping up the stairs as Eskimo followed her.


"Sorry," Derek sighed.

"It's fine," Meredith shook her head.

"Article's done," he smiled.

"Good," she grinned, standing up to kiss him quickly. "Of course, hiding in your office all day is what you get for putting it off."

"I know, I know," he rolled his eyes. "It's not my fault."

"Oh it isn't?"

"No. I blame the wedding."

"Derek, your sisters haven't called in days. And I'm not even talking about it anymore," she shook her head.

"Well...still, wedding's fault."

"How? How is it the wedding's fault that you're lazy?"

"I haven't actually figured that out yet."

"Of course not," she rolled her eyes.

"Hannah show you dances the whole day?"

"Yeah," she smiled. "I didn't realize there were so many different ways to do the same thing."

"The things you learn," he laughed softly.

"I did talk to her though about the junior bridesmaid thing," Meredith murmured, wrapping her arms around Derek's waist.

"Hmm..." he sighed. "What did she say?"

"She's very excited."

"Good," he smiled.

"Definitely," she breathed.

"She'll want the world's prettiest dress."

"I know," she giggled. "I'm completely prepared for that."

"Good," he laughed.

"She'll want a prettier dress than me, probably."

"Probably,' Derek laughed. "And all I heard about that dress is how pretty it is."

"Well, she chose it, I'm betting she'd talk about it."

"She should be a wedding planner when she grows up."

"You mean instead of a ballerina!" Meredith gasped before dissolving in a fit of giggles.

"She has to give up on that dream eventually," Derek sighed.

"I don't think she will."

"Of course not," Derek rolled his eyes. "Tired? Or want to throw on a movie after I get her in bed?"

"Really? A movie?" she frowned.

"Oh...did you have something else in mind?" he smirked.

"I did," she nodded, letting her hands rest on his ass.

"Hmmm..." Derek smiled. "Meet me in our room?"

"Definitely," Meredith breathed, kissing him deeply, her hands squeezing his ass.

"Be naked."

"Too lazy to take off my clothes?" she smiled coyly as she started up the stairs.

"No, just like coming in and seeing you naked," he laughed.

"Then I will definitely be naked," she giggled, running up the rest of the stairs.

"Good," he called up after her.

She laughed as she walked up the stairs, pausing by Hannah's room to make sure her daughter was actually getting ready for bed. "Night, Han," she poked her head in.

"Night...Mom...Mer.." Hannah sighed.

"Love you," Meredith smiled.

"Love you too," Hannah grinned.

She closed the door softly behind her and made her way towards their bedroom, amazed by how much more relaxed she felt. The sisters weren't calling constantly, work was a little calmer, and in two days...Hannah would be hers. Really hers. Well, hers and Derek's. But hers all the same. In two days, they would go to the judge and he would say she was now Hannah's mommy.


Disclaimer: According to United Hollywood the picketing starts at 6 am tomorrow. Which is early. If we owned the show we'd be in bed sleeping instead of writing. But we don't. So be happy.

"Remember you promised to behave here," Derek smiled to his daughter as they walked into the aquariam. Their daughter, he smiled at their daughter. She belonged to both of them now. Meredtih wasn't exactly sure if it had sunk in completely yet, but she belonged to her. Meredith Grey had a daughter, a completely official daughter. It was amazing.

"I know, Daddy," Hannah grinned, standing between them, holding both of their hands. Which was...they looked like that family on TV. The family who was perfect and bright and shiny. The family who ate family dinners together and laughed and were all about being together. They looked like that family. The family she had always been kind of jealous of. That's the family they were.

"Good. We didn't break you out of school just so you could be bad all day," Derek laughed. He had been laughing non stop today. Laughing and smiling and kissing them and saying how much he loved them. She was quite certain she had never seen him this happy, not that she complaining. It was nice, everything about today was nice and perfect. And she was probably laughing just as much.

"I've been really good!" Hannah insisted, pouting slightly. "Right, Mer...Mom...Meredith? I have been really, really good!"

"You've been great," Meredith giggled softly. "Daddy's just being silly."

"See, Daddy," Hannah sighed. "I've been great. Meredith said so."

"That's because you have her wrapped around her finger," Derek rolled his eyes.

"What does that mean?"

"It means that she loves you so much that she'll always think you're being good," Derek smiled.

"And that's not the pot calling the kettle black or whatever," Meredith rolled her eyes.

"I never said I didn't," Derek laughed.

"Of course not," Meredith giggled.

"You be good to," Derek smirked.

"I'm always good."

"I'm letting that one go," he laughed.

"Good," she giggled again before squeezing Hannah's hand. "What do you want to see first, Han?"

"The bright yellow fish," Hannah smiled.

"We can definitely see the bright yellow fish," Meredith grinned. Or her grin just got wider. She had been grinning all day. Every second of today was spent grinning. Because a judge had signed a piece of paper and Hannah was hers. Hannah was her little girl. Her daughter. And she couldn't stop grinning about that.

"Today we can do whatever you want, Hannah Banana," Derek smiled some more.

"Really?" Hannah grinned. "Whatever I want?"

"Whatever you want within reason," he corrected himself.

"Oh," Hannah sighed.

"What did you want?" Meredith giggled.

"Jenny at school went on a cruise," Hannah grinned.

"A cruise?" Derek asked. "Well...we can do that eventually but not today. We need time off work to do that."

"Bright yellow fish!" Hannah suddenly exclaimed, letting go of both of their hands and running to stare at the fish, her face pressed up against the glass.

"Bright yellow fish," Derek nodded, his now free hand slipping into Meredith's.

"Aren't they cool, Mo--Meredith?"

"They are very cool," Meredith smiled.

"Very, very cool," Hannah breathed, staring at the fish as Derek and Meredith stood behind her.

"Wonder if you can buy small bright yellow fish," Derek sighed. "This could keep her amused for hours."

"It would," Meredith giggled, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Might be worth looking into," he smiled as he pressed a light kiss on her head.

"Hmmm," she smiled, watching as Hannah talked to the fish. "This is..."

"Perfect?" he asked quietly.

"Definitely," she nodded. Perfect. Perfect was the right word to describe this. All of this. Because it was. It was completely perfect. Being a mom was...it was perfect.

"You're a mom," Derek whispered, echoing her thoughts.

"I'm a mom," she breathed.

"Feels amazing, doesn't it?"

"It really does," she sighed. "Really amazing and...just...wow."

"Wow," he nodded.

"I just...she's mine. Which is...I mean...I have a kid, Derek. Me."

"I know. And it's official. If something were to happen...it would actually be a fight, you could actually fight me for her."

"Something...what?" Meredith frowned, looking up at him.

"It's an example, Mer," he laughed softly, pressing a light kiss on her mouth. "You're stuck with me forever. Just saying...I actually share her now."

"You do," she murmured. "The judge...he said we could...but if you don't want to...but he said we could put my name on her birth certificate. If you wanted to."

"I want to," he nodded quickly. "I definitely want to."

"Okay," she smiled softly, watching Hannah. Watching her daughter. Her daughter. Hannah was hers. Theirs. But hers.

"We'll get that taken care of soon," he nodded. "And then...she's really yours."

"Mine," she breathed. "She's...I mean...she's mine. I have a kid. I wasn't...I never wanted...and she's mine."

"She's yours," Derek grinned.

"It's...insane."

"And perfect."

"Perfect," she breathed.

"What do you want to see next, Han?" Derek asked as she finally pulled her head away from the glass.

"Um..." Hannah bit her lip. "The otters! Can we see the otters and the seals?"

"Of course we can," Derek nodded, reaching for her hand.

"The otters are the bestest, Mom!" Hannah exclaimed excitedly, grasping Meredith and Derek's hands.

"Are they?" Meredith asked, smiling widely.

"Yep," Hannah nodded. "They dive and play. And the seals are funny too. They make noises like Eskimo!"

"Oh that's very cool," Meredith nodded.

"But I like the otters the most," Hannah explained.

"Than I'm sure I will too."

"Daddy, can we watch them outside the water and inside the water?" Hannah asked as they neared the exhibit.

"We can," Derek nodded.

"Good," Hannah nodded. "Meredith, have you seen the otters before?"

"Nope, I've never been here, Han," Meredith sighed.

"Daddy says he took me when I was a baby," Hannah smiled. "And my favorite when I was a baby was the room with lots of fish. Right, Daddy?"

"It was," Derek smiled. "You pointed and giggled a lot."

"The room with lots of fish?" Meredith asked.

"You have to know the room with lots of fish," Derek groaned. "The dome."

"I...okay, I grew up in Boston. And I've never been here before. You don't get to groan."

"Of course not," he rolled his eyes. "We'll show you."

"It has sharks and everything," Hannah grinned widely. "There they are!" She laughed as she ran up to watch the otters.

"Once we pull her away from the otters we'll go show you it," Derek smiled.

"How long does she watch the otters?" Meredith giggled.

"Depends on her mood. Today she's pretty hyper so probably not too long."

"She is really hyper. The Mickey Mouse pancakes probably didn't help."

"Probably not," Derek laughed. "And the getting a mommy thing."

"Yeah," Meredith smiled. "The whole getting a mommy thing."

"Kind of bigger than Christmas."

"Just a little."

"She's happy," Derek sighed.

"She's always happy, Der," Meredith murmured.

"I know," he nodded. "But this...she's happy with all of this."

"Did you think she wouldn't be?"

"I did. Just...it's nice to see, you know?"

"Daddy," Hannah turned from watching the otters, "can we get a otter?"

"No, Han, we can't," he laughed. "They're not pets."

"But he can live in the lake."

"I think it's illegal, Han," Meredith sighed.

"What's illegal?"

"It means if you do it you get in trouble with the police," Meredith explained.

"Oh," Hannah sighed dejectedly.

"Sorry, Han," Derek smiled.

"But we could hide him. And there's lots and lots of fish in the lake that he can eat."

"Hannah, we can't bring an otter home. I don't think Eskimo would be very happy with us," Derek pointed out.

"But Eskimo would like an otter."

"No otters."

"We could name him Oliver," Hannah continued, watching the otters dive into the water longingly.

"Or we could not get an otter."

"That's mean," Hannah murmured.

"Hannah, no otters, I'm sorry," Derek sighed. "We could get you a stuffed toy otter though."

"Really?" her head poked back up. "Can I name him Oliver?"

"You can," Derek nodded.

"Good," Hannah grinned. "Oliver the Otter. That's a good name, right, Mer-Mom?"

"It's a great name," Meredith smiled.

"Bestest name," Hannah nodded.

"Very bestest," Meredith agreed.

"Okay," the seven year old turned. "Room with the lots of fish, time!"

"Definitely," Derek grinned.

"Did you like the otters, Meredith?" Hannah asked, pulling them away from the otter exhibit.

"I did," Meredith nodded.

"They're my favorite," Hannah nodded. "And they play all the time!"

"They do?"

"Yep. And they like to eat. Uncle Monkey got me a book about otters one time."

"They kind of sound like you, Mer," Derek laughed.

"Seriously?" Meredith raised an eyebrow.

"You like playing and eating," he smirked.

"Which makes me a sea otter?"

"Yes. A very cute one."

"I worry about you sometimes," Meredith sighed as they walked down a tunnel.

"I know you do," he laughed.

"I really can't believe you just compared me to a sea otter."

"You're just like one."

"So you're marrying a sea otter."

"I am."

"Room with lots of fish!" Hannah interrupted, walking into a huge room. Meredith took a deep breath in as she looked around. They were completely surrounded by fish and sharks and...it was amazing. Completely amazing.

"Wow," she breathed.

"She likes it, Daddy," Hannah grinned widely.

"She does," Derek smiled.

"Meredith, see the sharks!" Hannah pointed as a shark swam by Meredith's head.

"Oh that's amazing," Meredith murmured.

"It is," Derek nodded. "I think I'm going to go look over there." He smiled at Meredith as he walked to the other side of the room, his hands in his pockets.

"Come over here, Han," Meredith smiled, leading her to one of the walls to look closer.

"Isn't it pretty?" Hannah breathed, standing close to the glass, the blue light casting a soft glow over her features as she clutched Meredith's hand tightly.

"It is," Meredith nodded, crouching down to her height.

"I don't like sharks though."

"They're kind of big and scary," Meredith smiled softly.

"Yeah. And they eat people. And dolphins. Uncle Monkey said so."

"Well that's not good."

"Nope," Hannah shook her head. "Uncle Monkey said the sharks don't eat the fish. But I think maybe they do."

"I don't know," Meredith sighed.

"I hope they don't," Hannah murmured, wrapping her arms around Meredith's shoulders.

"I hope so too," Meredith nodded, hugging her close. "You know why you didn't have to go to school today, right?"

"Cause it's a really, really special day."

"It is. Do you know why?"

"Um...because you signed the piece of paper."

"I did," Meredith nodded. "Do you know what that meant?"

"It means you're my mommy now," Hannah sighed, turning to look at a school of fish swimming by.

"It does," Meredith smiled.

"Daddy says it's my day," Hannah murmured. "My special day."

"It is," Meredith grinned. "But it's a really big day."

"I know," the little girl nodded. "Daddy said so. He said it was big like a wedding."

"It is. And I love you so very much."

"I love you too."

"Good," Meredith nodded, reaching into her bag. "I was....it's a big day and I thought...I want to give you someting, Han. Because today is...big."

"A present?" Hannah grinned, her face pressed against the glass of the wall.

"A present. To mark…today. As a big day."

"A really big special day," Hannah nodded.

"Yep," Meredith nodded, handing Hannah a box. "So this is for you."

"What is it?" Hannah asked, untying the pink ribbon covering the small white box.

"Open it and see."

Hannah opened the box and grinned as she fingered the white gold locket nestled inside the box. "It's so pretty," she whispered.

"You like it?"

"Yeah," Hannah nodded eagerly. "It's really, really pretty."

"Good," Meredith smiled. "I thought...I'm going to be your mommy forever, Hannah. And that was...it's my promise gift to you. Like Daddy gave me the ring."

"It means forever and ever?"

"It means forever and ever."

"You won't ever leave ever?"

"I promise I will never leave you, Hannah."

"Good," Hannah smiled. "Can I wear it?"

"Of course," Meredith nodded. "Give it to me and I'll put it on for you."

"Okay," Hannah nodded, handing Meredith the box and turning around to stare at the fish again as Meredith looped the necklace around her neck, clasping it quickly. "Thank you, Mommy."

"You're welcome, Han," Meredith murmured, blinking quickly.

"Look! Another shark!" Hannah exclaimed, turning quickly to hug Meredith, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

"Wow," Meredith breathed, hugging Hannah tightly.

"Daddy," Hannah smiled as Derek walked up to them, "did you see the sharks?"

"I did," Derek nodded. "Pretty cool."

"Very cool," Meredith breathed as Hannah let go of her and went to watch the fish again. She stood up and leaned against Derek, watching their daughter.

"Did she like it?" he asked.

"Yeah," she murmured. "She loved it."

"Good," he whispered, pressing a kiss on her forhead.

"She called me Mommy," she breathed. "I'm...I mean...I'm her mommy."

"You're her mommy," he nodded. "Forever."

"Wow."

"Wow."

She sighed and cuddled closer to him, watching as Hannah moved towards another wall, seemingly following a shark as it swam lazily in the massive aquarium. She had a daughter. She had a little girl who was completely and totally hers. A little girl who hadn't had a mommy. And now she was the mommy. Forever. And it was...amazing. Completely and totally amazing.

But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true


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oncetherewasaway Dec 27 2007, 02:00 PM Post #20
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McEditor

 Disclaimer: Katie and Alicia are extremely sad. You see, every week, we have two dates. One with a piemaker and one with McDreamy. And we just found out we're going to lose them in the same week. If we owned the show, we'd still have a date with McDreamy.


Hannah was antsy. Hannah was completely and entirely antsy. Or bouncy. Bouncy was probably a better word to describe her daughter at that moment. There were probably better words, but bouncy seemed to work. It had been storming for two days straight and Hannah was most definitely suffering from the effects of cabin fever. And Meredith had no idea what to do.

Derek was gone to work and even though he'd be some soon, soon wasn't now. And Meredith should know what to do. Hannah was her daughter, had been for months, Meredith was good at entertaining her. But Hannah didn't want to build a fort. She didn't want to play dress up in Meredith's clothes. She didn't want to watch a movie or play with her Barbie's. She was impossible right now.

"I wanna go outside!" Hannah groaned for what was possibly the millionth time that day.

"I know you do, Han," Meredith sighed. "But everything is wet."

"But me and Eskimo want to play."

"I know but it's wet and muddy and you know you can't."

"I'll wear my boots," Hannah insisted. "And my jacket."

"It's still not playing outside weather," Meredith shook her head. "How about we make another fort?"

"I don't want to make another fort," Hannah shook her head. "We made a fort yesterday."

"I know we did. But we could...castle...it could be a castle."

"No," Hannah shook her head.

"Okay," Meredith nodded slowly. "We could....you could teach me another dance."

"I'm going outside," Hannah said firmly.

"No, Han, you're not."

"Eskimo, let's go outside," Hannah called to the dog as she jumped up to grab her rainboots.

"Hannah, you are not going outside."

"I'm wearing my rain boots," Hannah said. "And my rain coat."

"Hannah Rose Shepherd, you are not going outside...even if you wear all your rain stuff."

"Come on, Eskimo!" Hannah exclaimed, holding up the dog's leash as he came bounding towards her.

"Hannah, I said no outside."

"And I said yes outside."

"And you're not the adult. Let go of the leash and come back over here."

"But I'm bored," Hannah frowned as she knelt down to put Eskimo's leash on.

"I know you are and I would love to let you go outside but it's wet and you will get dirty and cold...you have to stay inside, Hannah."

"I stayed inside yesterday."

"I know you did. And maybe tomorrow we can go outside but not today."

"Let's go, Eskimo," Hannah said, opening the front door.

"Hannah Rose Shepherd! Stop right there!" Meredith hissed.

"I won't play in the mud," Hannah promised, walking out the front door and closing it firmly behind her.

This was bad, this was very bad. And usual. Meredith had been Hannah's official mom for months and still she didn't listen. Hannah was a good kid, a great kid and she loved Meredith, Meredith knew that. But for all the practice, Meredith couldn't get Hannah to listen. But this was entirely horribly bad. Hannah was now outside, in the mud.

She wasn't sure why Hannah wouldn't listen. She wasn't even sure what she was doing wrong. She did all the same things Derek did. She counted to three, she called her by her entire name, she threatened grounding. And for whatever reason, Hannah just shrugged it all off. Usually, she was a great kid. They had fun together, and Hannah always came to her to get something if Derek was saying no, but when it came to stuff like this, Hannah just walked away.

"Hannah, get back inside!" Meredith called as she opened the door. She had to get Hannah to listen. She didn't know how but giving in wasn't an option.

"Later!" Hannah called back as she ran around in circles with Eskimo.

"No...now!" Meredith attempted to order.

"No. Later."

"Hannah, if you don't come inside right now you're grounded."

"I'm going to take Eskimo for a walk in the woods."

"No, you're not," Meredith shook her head. "I'm going to count to three and you're coming back inside. 1...2..."

"Three," Hannah grinned back. "Come on, Eskimo!"

"Hannah Rose Shepherd!" Meredith yelled as she saw Derek's car pulling up.

"Daddy's home!" Hannah exclaimed, running towards the car as Derek parked it in the driveway.

"Hey guys," Derek frowned slightly as he stepped out of the car. "What's going on?"

"I'm taking Eskimo for a walk," Hannah smiled widely.

"You are?" Derek asked.

"No she's not," Meredith sighed. "Hannah, I told you to get back in the house. Let's go."

"Hannah, did Mommy tell you to go back inside?" Derek asked.

"Maybe," Hannah sighed.

"What did I tell you about listening to Mommy?"

"But, Daddy..."

"Inside now."

"But it's boring inside. I want to take Eskimo for a walk."

"And Mommy said no. And now Daddy is saying no. Go back inside."

"I stayed inside all day yesterday," Hannah pouted. "And it stopped raining."

"And everything is wet," Derek sighed.

"But I'm wearing my rain boots."

"Which is good but still no outside today. And unless you go inside right now and stop arguing with me there will be no outside tomorrow either."

"That's unfair!" Hannah exclaimed.

"You didn't listen to Mommy and now you're not listening to me. You know that leads to being grounded."

"But I'm sorry!"

"Okay," Derek nodded. "Go inside now, Hannah."

"Fine," Hannah pouted. "Come on, Eskimo." She marched past Derek and brushed past Meredith, stomping her feet and slamming the front door.

"You okay?" Derek asked Meredith as he walked up to the porch.

"She won't listen," Meredith sighed. "She still won't listen. I...I do everything you say and...she won't listen."

"I know," Derek sighed. "It will come. It has to come."

"What if it doesn't?" she murmured. "What if...I mean, I kind of told you...I'm crap at this. I'm complete crap at the mom thing. I've been her mom for months and she won't...she never listens."

"Oh Mer, you're a great mom," Derek sighed, wrapping his arms around her. "You're not doing anything wrong. Hannah's just...she'd not used to having to listen to anyone but me."

"It's been months, Der."

"I know it has. Maybe we should talk to Kath...see what she thinks we should do."

"I don't know," she murmured. "I just...I'm crap at this."

"You're not," he breathed, kissing her quickly. "You're amazing."

"Der..." she shook her head.

"Did you threaten to ground her?"

"Of course I did."

"Did you countdown?"

"Yes."

"Did you use her full name?"

"More than once," Meredith groaned.

"You did everything you could, Mer. Don't beat yourself up over this."

"Then why won't she listen? I do everything you do and she just...she laughs. She completely...she doesn't listen. When everything is okay, she listens. When I tell her to do something she wants to do, she listens but...she won't listen. I do everything and she won't...I don't know what to do, Der," she murmured, wrapping her arms around him tightly.

"I know," he murmured rocking her gently. "We'll figure this out, Mer."

"I guess," she sighed, burying her face in his shoulder.

"We will," he whispered, kissing the top of her head. "I promise."

"You say that every time."

"I know I do," he sighed.

"And it still...we still haven't."

"I know," he sighed. "But we will. We're...we have forever. It has to come eventually."

"Okay," she murmured, not entirely believing it. They had been at this for months. Hannah called her mommy. Hannah was her daughter. She was supposed to know how to do this.

"How was the day besides this?" he asked, still holding her close.

"Fine," she shrugged. "She was antsy."

"She hates staying inside so long," Derek sighed.

"She's your daughter," Meredith sighed.

"She is," he nodded.

"And your sisters are starting to do that thing again."

"Calling all the time?" he smiled.

"Constantly," she groaned.

"Sorry," he laughed. "It's getting close."

"It is," she smiled softly. "Which apparently means they're going to call me day and night."

"What is it this time?" he asked.

"Menu and cake tasting and dress fittings and they're on me about the song, Derek Shepherd," she glared at him.

"I'm narrowing down the options, I swear," he laughed.

"Of course you are," she giggled, shivering slightly as she cuddled closer to him.

"We should go inside," he murmured.

"We should," she sighed. "To the daughter who won't listen."

"I'll talk to her," Derek sighed, leading Meredith inside. "Maybe something will click this time."

"Or maybe I just really suck at this."

"Meredith, you don't suck at this."

"Fine, I don't suck at this," she rolled her eyes. "I just...I'm not good at it. Or whatever."

"Mer, you're an amazing mom. This is...I have no idea what it is but you're not doing anything wrong."

"Okay," she sighed.

"Such an unconvincing okay."

"I thought it would get easier," she whispered. "Just...easier and it's not and...I know she loves me. I know that. I just...I don't know what to do."

"Neither do I," he admitted quietly. "But there has to be something. It will be okay, Mer."

"Okay," she murmured, kissing him quickly. "I'm thinking Friday."

"Friday?"

"For the cake tasting."

"Oh," he nodded. "Friday works."

"And then we can go to your mom's for supper. And your sisters will be off my back about that, at least."

"Excellent point," he nodded. "How much more can there be to do at this point?"

"Apparently, tons," she rolled her eyes.

"You'll manage," Derek smiled. "And cake testing can't be that bad."

"Oh, it's definitely not," Meredith grinned. "Guess what we do at a cake testing?"

"Test cake?"

"Yes," she giggled. "Lots and lots of cake."

"Right up your ally," he laughed.

"Exactly," she laughed. "I know it will drive you crazy...but it will involve a lot of sugar."

"I think I can manage," he smiled.

"Daddy?" Hannah stood at the top of the stairs, her rain coat still on. "Can I come down now?"

"Are you ready to apologize for not listening?" Derek asked.

"I'm sorry I didn't listen," she recited.

"I'm not sure I believe that apology."

"Daddy," Hannah groaned.

"Hannah, I'm serious. If Mommy tells you you can't go outside, you can't go outside."

"Fine," Hannah sighed. "I'm sorry I didn't listen, Mer--Mommy."

"Apology accepted," Meredith sighed.

"Now can I come down?"

"You can," Derek nodded. "But next time you don't listen to Meredith you're in your room for a week."

"But that's not fair!"

"Yes, it is," Derek nodded.

"Hannah, if you're really, really good, then Daddy and I will take you to eat cake on Friday," Meredith sighed, watching as the little girl pouted.

"Cake?" Hannah asked, her eyes brightening a little.

"Yep," Meredith nodded. "You can help us choose our wedding cake."

"But only if you're good and listen to Meredith for the rest of the week," Derek smiled.

"Okay," Hannah grinned widely, running down the stairs. "I'll be really, really good."

"Good," Derek smiled.

"Mommy, can we build the castle now?" Hannah asked.

"Of course we can," Meredith grinned. "Want to help, Daddy?"

"Yeah, Daddy, you can help!" Hannah grinned.

"Sounds good," Derek smiled, ruffling her hair. "Let me go get changed and I'll come help."

"You better be fast, Daddy," Hannah laughed, grabbing Meredith's hand and pulling her towards the living room.

"I will be," Derek called after them before heading up the stairs.

Meredith smiled as Hannah started gathering sheets and pushing chairs towards the center of the living room to make her "castle". They'd figure this out. She was still adapting. They were both still adapting. They'd figure this out. Somehow, it would come together. But right now, she had a castle to make.


Disclaimer: On the sneak peaks for this week Derek is all calm and in charge and doctory. He's like Super Doctor. And he's incredibly hot in it. Incredibly. If we owned the show we'd....well we don't discuss those things here.

"Mer, couldn't we just skip dinner?" Derek asked, as he killed the ignition of the car. "Because I swear I never want to eat again at this point."

"You didn't even eat that much," Meredith giggled. "Hannah ate most of your cake."

"I still had far too much," he groaned.

"Derek, you had a bite of each. I'm pretty sure Hannah and I ate three whole cakes," Meredith laughed.

"All the more reason you shouldn't want to eat," he laughed.

"We're here! We're here!" Hannah exclaimed, rushing to unbuckle her seatbelt as she bounced.

"Slow down, Han," Derek laughed.

"But I gotta tell Chelsea about the cake and everything!" Hannah insisted, crawling to open the door. "And that I tried every single kind and the best kind was chocolate and Mommy agreed but you didn't like the chocolate one, Daddy. Not as much as the funny tasting kind. But Mommy said chocolate and you said okay so I gotta tell Chelsea we're going to have chocolate cake!"

"That is so your fault for letting her eat all your cake," Meredith giggled.

"Daddy, let's go! Come on," Hannah insisted as she got out of the car.

"We're coming, Han," Derek sighed, climbing out of the car.

"This is going to be fun," Meredith laughed as Hannah ran up to the front door and rang the doorbell three times.

"Oh tons," Derek rolled his eyes.

"Someone's eager to be here," Mrs. Shepherd laughed as she opened the door, Hannah still ringing the doorbell.

"Someone had too much sugar," Derek corrected his mother.

"Nana!" Hannah grinned, launcing herself at Mrs. Shepherd. "Guess what! Guess what! Guess what!"

"What?" Mrs. Shepherd smiled.

"We went and ate lots and lots of wedding cake! And Daddy didn't want to eat all of his so I ate it and he liked the funny tasting kind but Mommy and I liked chocolate and I had two pieces of chocolate and it was the bestest and Daddy said we could have chocolate cake after Mommy asked him. Because me and Mommy didn't like the funny tasting cake!"

"Wow," Mrs. Shepherd breathed. "So they're having a chocolate wedding cake?"

"Yep!" Hannah nodded. "It was the best kind and I ate it and I told Mommy it was the bestest and she said it was and it was really, really really good!"

"That is very exciting," Mrs. Shepherd smiled. "It's good you and Mommy agreed."

"Where's Chelsea?" Hannah asked. "I have to tell her about the cake!"

"All your cousins are in the tv room."

"Okay!" Hannah nodded, running off quickly.

"Sorry about her," Meredith sighed. "Derek gave her too much sugar."

"I gave her too much suger?" Derek raised an eyebrow. "You're the one who asked for another piece of chocolate cake for the two of you."

"It was good chocolate cake," Meredith giggled. "And you let her eat all your cake. That wasn't my fault."

"I didn't actually think she'd be able to eat it all," he sighed.

"Well she's my daughter too," Meredith smiled proudly.

"She is," Derek smiled, kissing her quickly.

"I've had a positive influence on her eating habits," Meredith giggled.

"So the wedding cake is chosen?" Mrs. Shepherd asked as she led them back to the kitchen.

"It is," Derek nodded. "Chocolate with white icing."

"Derek wanted mocha filling," Meredith rolled her eyes.

"It was good," Derek protested.

"It tasted funny," she giggled.

"It tasted like mocha."

"Which, according to Hannah, tasted funny."

"So you both kept telling me."

"Hey guys," Colleen smiled. "How was the cake?'

"There was lots of it," Derek laughed.

"What did you guys decide on?" Kathleen asked.

"Chocolate," Meredith grinned.

"Thank god," Sophie sighed. "I'm sick of the usual. I tried to go for chocolate and everyone thought I was insane."

"We're doing white icing so it looks more traditional but chocolate cake," Derek smiled. "Which is what happens when you let Mer and a eight year old choose."

"It was the best cake," Meredith giggled as she sat down on a stool, grabbing a handful of crackers. "It's not my fault you have bad taste."

"The mocha cake was good," he sighed, stealing a cracker from her.

"The mocha cake tasted funny," she laughed.

"You taste funny."

"There are things some of us don't need to know, Shep," Mark frowned as he walked in, Addison holding his hand.

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Sloan," Derek rolled his eyes.

"Mark's mind is permenantly in the gutter," Sophie laughed as she kissed Mark's cheek and hugged Addison.

"You have a point," Derek nodded.

"Yeah, yeah," Mark rolled his eyes. "So why are you telling Grey she tastes like crap?"

"She thinks the mocha cake tasted like crap," Derek frowned.

"Oh, cake testing," Addison laughed. "Mark's favorite part about the wedding planning."

"It was fun," Meredith giggled.

"Uncle Monkey! Uncle Monkey!" Hannah yelled as she ran into the kitchen, wrapping her arms around Mark. "Hi!"

"Hannah Banana!" Mark exclaimed, ruffling her hair.

"Guess what! Guess what! Guess what!"

"What?" Mark laughed.

"We went and ate lots and lots of cake today and it was really really good and me and Mommy chose chocolate cake!"

"Chocolate?" Mark frowned. "Why didn't I get chocolate?"

"Because we agreed we liked the angel food cake with the raspberry filling," Addison sighed.

"I think you told me chocolate wasn't an option," Mark frowned.

"Did I?" Addison smiled innocently.

"Umm...yeah."

"You're imagining things," Addison kissed him quickly.

"Of course I am," Mark rolled his eyes. "I should have stolen Grey when I had the chance."

"In your dreams, Sloan," Meredith shook her head, leaning into Derek.

"She's all mine," Derek laughed. "Always has been."

"And when did you ever have the chance anyway?" Meredith frowned.

"I always have a chance, Grey," Mark smirked.

"Watch it, Sloan," Derek threatened, throwing an arm around Meredith's shoulders.

"So possessive," Meredith giggled leaning into him.

"How are you two doing?" Mrs. Shepherd smiled at Mark and Addison. "When can I expect grandchildren?"

"We're working on it, Mom," Mark sighed.

"Seriously?" Sophie grinned.

"We're thinking of working on it," Addison sighed.

"Same thing," Mark shrugged, pulling her close to him.

"That's wonderful," Mrs. Shepherd grinned.

"Scary," Derek smirked at Mark. "You as a dad. A little scary."

"I did a pretty good job with Hannah," Mark shrugged.

"He has a point, Der." Meredith giggled.

"You be quiet," Derek laughed, kissing her quickly.

"You don't tell me what to do," Meredith laughed against his lips.

"I think I do," he smiled.

"Oh really?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Really," he smirked. "I'm going to be your husband soon, I get to be the boss."

"Woah, Shep, treading a fine line there," Ethan shook his head.

"Trust me, she knows I'm joking," Derek rolled his eyes. "She knows who the boss is."

"Yet again something most of us didn't need to know," Mark laughed.

"Seriously, Mark, mind out of the gutter," Meredith giggled.

"You guys got the catering all figured out too, right?" Kathleen asked, interrupting Mark's retort.

"We have an appointment with her Monday," Derek nodded.

"Which means more food," Meredith grinned widely.

"And she found a part of wedding planning she likes," Derek laughed.

"You guys should have told me about it," Meredith giggled.

"That is the most fun," Sophie agreed.

"Song for what?" Kevin asked as he came in with Michael.

"Uncle Derek and Aunt Meredith's first dance," Mrs. Shepherd smiled.

"Are you going with the usual cheesy ass love songs?" Michael winced.

"No, definitely not," Derek shook his head.

"You should go with something hardcore, Uncle Derek," Kevin shrugged.

"Hardcore?" Derek raised an eyebrow.

"Something bearable," Michael nodded. "Like mine and Natalie's song."

"What song is it?" Meredith asked, leaning her head on Derek's shoulder.

"Warmness of the Soul," Michael grinned widely. "By Avenge Sevenfold."

"By who?" Derek asked.

"Don't you dare, Mikey," Audrey shook her head. "Uncle Derek and Aunt Meredith are not dancing to that crap."

"It's not crap," Michael rolled his eyes. "It's a really good song."

"The band is all about screaming," Audrey rolled her eyes.

"Not this song," Michael sighed. "It's all slow and shit."

"It is," Kevin nodded. "It's a good song. And if he plays it for Nat, that's it. She'll forgive him for anything."

"I might as well listen to it," Derek shrugged. "Not that I'm desperate, I'm not."

"Oh god," Meredith groaned. "I knew I should have chosen the song."

"Because you were doing so much better," Derek rolled his eyes.

"That was my first attempt," Meredith sighed.

"And you were having a nervous breakdown."

"I was not."

"You kind of were."

"Is supper ready?" Hannah yelled, running in and almost knocking Mrs. Shepherd over. "Is it? Is it?"

"Hannah, slow down," Meredith sighed.

"I am going slow," Hannah exclaimed, giggling.

"No, you're not," Meredith shook her head. "I know you're hyper but be careful."

"Is supper ready yet?" Hannah asked again, bouncing in her place. "Is it? Nana, is it ready?"

"Soon," Mrs. Shepherd nodded.

"Good," Hannah grinned, turning and running back towards the TV room.

"Hannah, I told you to slow down!" Meredith called after her.

"Someone is on a sugar high," Kathleen laughed slightly.

"Yeah, she is," Meredith sighed.

"Here, Uncle Derek," Michael handed his iPod to Derek. "I got it all ready for you."

"Thanks," Derek nodded, taking it from him. "Want one, Mer?"

"Definitely," Meredith nodded, taking one of the earbuds.

"We'll give it a shot," Derek shrugged, hitting play on the iPod.

"Twenty bucks says they love it," Michael grinned at Audrey.

"Yes, they'll love the screaming," Audrey rolled her eyes.

"There isn't any," Kevin rolled his eyes, grabbing a soda.

"It's actually...I love it," Derek smiled.

"Me too," Meredith grinned. "It's...I mean, it's not...I Honestly Love You or whatever. It's..."

"Definitely not," Derek nodded. "It's kind of...it's us, Mer."

"It is," she smiled widely, reaching for his hand.

"I love it," Derek smiled, leaning forward to kiss her quickly.

"Me too," she murmured and then frowned as Hannah ran by. "Hannah Rose Shepherd, I thought I told you to slow down."

"You did," Hannah giggled.

"Do you want to tell me why you aren't slowing down then?" Meredith sighed, taking the earbud out of her ear.

"Because I don't want to," Hannah shrugged.

"Hannah," Meredith groaned. "If you don't slow down, you're going upstairs and not playing with your cousins."

"But Mommy!" Hannah protested quickly, hopping slightly in the spot.

"Hannah," Derek took the earbud out of his ear, "slow down. Now."

"But I don't want to," Hannah pouted.

"Do you want to go upstairs?" Derek asked.

"Daddy, that's not fair," Hannah protested.

"I thought we talked about listening to Mommy," Derek said.

"But I don't want to," Hannah shouted, moving to run off again.

"Hannah Rose Shepherd!" Mark barked, standing up and grabbing her. "We're going upstairs."

"Mark Jeremy Sloan, put that girl down now," Mrs. Shepherd barked.

"What?" Mark frowned, turning quickly.

"Put Hannah down," Mrs. Shepherd frowned.

"Okay," Mark frowned, putting Hannah down but holding her in place.

"Hannah," Mrs. Shepherd sighed, kneeling down to her level. "Why aren't you listening to your mommy?"

"I don't know," Hannah shrugged. "I want to run."

"I understand, but you're in the house and your mother told you not to."

"But I want to run."

"And you can't. You don't always get to do what you want."

"But, Nana..."

"No," Mrs. Shepherd shook her head. "Now go upstairs and sit on Daddy's bed and be good until Mommy comes up for you."

"Fine," Hannah sighed, turning and stomping upstairs.

"Now you three....other room now," Mrs. Shepherd ordered Meredith, Derek and Mark.

"What did we do?" Mark frowned as the three of them followed her into the next room.

"What did you do?" Mrs. Shepherd asked. "Are you all that clueless?"

"Mom," Derek sighed.

"All I've heard from the second Meredith adopted that poor girl is that she won't listen to her. No wonder."

"What do you mean?" Meredith frowned. "No wonder? We can't, I mean, we keep trying to figure it out."

"And I'm sure you think you do but the problem is quite clear."

"It is?" Derek sighed, running his hand through his dark hair.

"Have you considered letting Meredith actually be a mother?"

"What?" Derek frowned. "I let her be a mother. She's a great mom."

"Yes, she's an excellent mother," Mrs. Shepherd nodded. "When Hannah is being good, Meredith is an excellent mother. It clearly comes very naturally to her. And the second something goes wrong...one of you two feel the need to step in."

"Mom, you know Han can be a handful," Derek shook his head. "I just..."

"I know. You're trying to make this easier for her. I understand and I'm sure Meredith even appreciates it. That doesn't excuse your behaviour."

"My behavior?" Derek sighed.

"Yes," Mrs. Shepherd nodded. "Has Meredith ever been allowed to punish the girl?"

"I..." Derek frowned. "I'm sure she has, Mom."

"Really? When?"

"I haven't," Meredith whispered.

"What?" Derek frowned.

"I've never punished Han," Meredith sighed.

"You...yes you have," Derek's frown deepened.

"No, I haven't," she shook her head. "I...I always threaten it and then you either come home or...Mark's over and he does something or...or I just say I'll tell you because she doesn't listen anyway. I've never...you're always there."

"See, Derek?" Mrs. Shepherd asked. "I saw it just now. Meredith had the situation under control, or at least she would have if you hadn't stepped in."

"Hannah's a handful, she doesn't listen to Mer sometimes," Derek sighed.

"Of course she doesn't. As far as she can see Meredith has no power."

"That's not true, Mom," Derek shook his head. "Meredith is Hannah's mother."

"We all know that," Mrs. Shepherd nodded. "And it's clear that Hannah adores her, I'm not questioning that. But as far as Hannah can tell...Meredith is her mother by name only."

"What do you mean?" Derek frowned.

"Meredith threatens, she tells her to stop but she never follows through because you or Mark step in. Hannah knows this. She knows that she can say no to Meredith because nothing will be done till you get home."

"Mom, that's ridiculous," Derek shook his head.

"Derek, Meredith has right out said you don't let her punish. If she can't punish how do you expect Hannah to think no means no?"

"Meredith is her mom," Derek sighed. "She knows that. I've told her to listen to Mer."

"Telling her to do something and showing her to do something are two diffferent things."

"I'm just trying to help," Derek shook his head.

"I know that, Derek," Mrs. Shepherd nodded. "I know you just want everything to be easier for Meredith. Your heart is in the right place. But if you don't let Meredith be a mother...it's never going to get easier."

"I still don't see why I'm in trouble," Mark groaned.

"Mark, you do the same thing Derek does," Mrs. Shepherd rolled her eyes.

"That's because Shep is crap at punishing her," Mark shrugged. "Always has been."

"Yes and when you lived together it was a great system," Mrs. Shepherd nodded. "And now you have to let Meredith punish."

"So we're not supposed to step in at all?" Derek sighed.

"No, you shouldn't," Mrs. Shepherd shook her head. "At least not until Hannah has learned Meredith has just as much power in that house as you do."

"Okay," Derek nodded slowly.

"Meredith, you can handle that, right?"

"I...yeah," Meredith nodded. "I think so. Yeah."

"Of course you can," Mrs. Shepherd nodded. "And you need to push your way in."

"Push my way in?"

"Yes. If Derek starts to cut in just ignore him."

"Hey," Derek frowned.

"I'm just telling her the thruth, dear."

"So I just...I mean, he's her dad," Meredith sighed.

"And you're her mom."

"Well, yeah," Meredith murmured. "But, Derek..."

"Derek needs to learn to share."

"I share," Derek sighed.

"Not entirely."

"She's his daughter, she's used to listening to him," Meredith sighed. "And I...I'm trying."

"I know you are, dear," Mrs. Shepherd smiled. "You're a wonderful mother. And Hannah loves you."

"I love her too."

"I know you do."

"And I'm trying but she won't listen and..."

"She won't listen because Derek doesn't make her listen."

"I know. But the only way she'll learn that is if you let Meredith take care of the punishment sometimes."

"Okay," Meredith sighed.

"It's scary and it's hard but it needs to be done."

"I know," Meredith murmured.

"Sorry, Mer," Derek sighed.

"It's fine, Derek," she shook her head. "I...I mean, I let you. I didn't even realize...it's fine."

"No, Mom's right, it's not," Derek shook his head.

"You weren't doing it on purpose."

"I know I wasn't but still...I'm sorry," he sighed.

"It's okay," Meredith murmured.

"Mer, it's not," Derek shook his head. "She's your daughter."

"She is," Meredith nodded. "She's your daughter too. She was your daughter first or whatever."

"Yeah she was," he nodded, wrapping an arm around her. "And now she belongs to both of us. It doesn't matter who was there first. Both our names are on her birth certificate."

"Okay," she sighed.

"So go upstairs and do your thing," Derek nodded.

"My thing?" Meredith frowned.

"Yes. The amazing mom child whisperer thing you've always had down."

"Okay," she giggled slightly, kissing him. "I love you."

"I love you too," he smiled against her lips.

Meredith pulled away from him and walked up the stairs, her heart pounding. Which didn't actually make any sense. She was going to talk to her daughter, punish her daughter. It was a completely normal thing. A completely one hundred percent normal thing. Except she had never done it before. And now she knew why. She didn't blame Derek. She didn't. Now she was too scared to think of that.

Derek had just been doing the dad thing, she couldn't hold it against him. He had done it for five years before he had even met her so he hadn't done any of this on purpose. It was just how it was. And now she had to actually do the entire mother thing. Which she could do. She could manage to punish her. It was just something that was part of the job. A new part. "Han?" she asked gently as she reached the top of the stairs.

"Yeah?" Hannah opened the door to Derek's old bedroom. "Can I come down now?"

"Not quite yet," Meredith shook her head. "We have to talk first."

"But I've been good."

"Not quite," Meredith frowned, leading her back into the room.

"Yes I have," Hannah sighed

"Really? Because I think I said stop running and you didn't listen."

"Oh," Hannah frowned. "Because I wanted to run."

"I know you did. But you can't inside. You know that."

"Yeah, but..."

"No but," Meredith shook her head. "No running inside, Hannah."

"Okay," Hannah sighed. "Can I go downstairs now?"

"Are you going to run anymore?"

"No."

"Really?"

"Really," Hannah nodded.

"Okay, you can go back downstairs. But Hannah, you have to start listening to me."

"I do listen," Hannah said.

"Not to me, you don't."

"Yes I do."

"Hannah, I tell you to stop and you giggle."

"Nuh uh."

"Yes, you do. And I know it's not your fault, but you do do it and you can't anymore."

"Okay," Hannah frowned.

"I'm your mommy, you have to listen."

"Okay."

"Really okay? Or okay you want to go play with your cousins?"

"Really okay," Hannah nodded.

"Good," Meredith smiled. "Hug?"

"Hug," Hannah grinned, wrapping her arms around Meredith tightly.

"Love you, Hannah Banana."

"Love you too, Mommy," Hannah smiled.

"Okay, back downstairs," Meredith nodded. "But if you even think of running you're on daddy's bed till we go home."

"I won't run," Hannah sighed, turning and walking very slowly out of the room.

"You can walk faster than that, goof," Meredith giggled.

"Okay," Hannah giggled, walking quickly down the stairs, leaving Meredith alone in Derek's old bedroom.

Meredith sighed and fell back onto the bed. That had gone okay, that had actually gone better than she figured it would. She wasn't sure if she should have left her upstairs, she wasn't sure if she should have done more but that hadn't been bad. Hannah had listened, or kind of listened. And she hadn't run out. She hadn't gone to her daddy. It was good. Or at least not bad.

She could learn to do this. She was a mommy now, she had to learn how to do this. And it probably wasn't going to be easy, but she definitely had to do it. And next time would definitely suck, but she would do it. And they'd be okay. Things would really start to fall into place.

I think the finish line's a good place we could start
Take a deep breath, take in all that you could want
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